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And if those Republican lawyers are correct about DeLay’s ‘intent’ being the ‘deciding factor’, GREAT!! His intent was clear when he ran in the primary election. And everything he has done since then has made his intentions glaringly obvious. He is a master at manipulating the ‘rules’ to suit his own agenda, he has done so all of his political life. It’s just finally catching up to him. Throw your ‘hissy’, Tom, you were the ‘decider’ on this one, and you are NOT a Congressman anymore.

Here’s the deal: This ain’t a blog. It’s a professional political organization. Send me email – I’ll post it if I feel like it.

April 6 – BREAKING! Some pictures now.
I also have a news report partially showing Marsha getting “wrecked.” It’s at 21 seconds. It’s short. It also shows a Republican woman telling a very Christian lie. When asked, “Who sent you” by a reporter, she lies.
I will soon post photographs of a “demonstration” (read: violent disruption) of Nick Lampson’s news conference this morning in Sugar Land. Tom DeLay’s campaign and a member of the State Republican Executive Committee called for volunteers to meet on the first floor of the parking garage and “wreck” Lampson’s press conference.
One elderly Democratic woman was slightly injured when she was assaulted by a DeLay protester. The male DeLay supporter first hit her in the face with a sign and then grabbed her hat and tried to pull it down over her eyes. Think about this: Your Congressman asked his supporters to go out and assault old women. Okay, “wreck” them. But, that’s all right because one of the Democrats shoved the DeLay protestor away from the elderly woman. We ain’t doing non-violent protests when it comes to protecting our elderly.
But that’s all right. It’s all right. They’re just helping prove what a stone-cold hypocrite DeLay and his supporters are. One day DeLay laments the “polarization” in the district and how horrible it is. The next day, he calls a hit.
I’m at my computer now. Bob Dunn will probably have pictures before I do because he’s better at this internet stuff than I am.
A direct quote from an email Chris Homan sent out –
We would meet tomorrow morning at 9:45 am on the first floor of the parking garage attached to the Marriott. Please get folks to call our campaign office 281.343.1333 and let us know they can do it – or e-mail Leonard Cash (in the cc field above) so that we can get some head count. Let’s give Lampson a parting shot that wrecks his press conference.
(Emphasis mine)
This is a statement from Marsha Rovai, the 70 year old retired CPS caseworker I spoke about above,
“I can’t believe my Congressman, Tom DeLay, would organize this type of assault,” Rovai said. “I was assaulted by two different people. One of the men hit me and another shoved his sign into my face, and then when I pushed his sign away he violently pulled my hat down over my eyes and pushed me. I’m considering filing an assault charge. This is just very upsetting and I’m so disappointed in Tom Delay for organizing this attack.”

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April 5 – Okay, I know you’ve been seeing some crazy scary stuff coming out of District 22 lately, but Tom’s so-called “resignation” only fueled the fires of insanity.
The Fort Bend County Republican party chairman (who doesn’t even live in the county anymore), a major candidate in the run-off for a new party chair (Gary Gillen) , and one of the hopeful candidates to replace Delay (Harris County Judge Bob Eckels) announced ….. (kinda try to prepare yourself for this) ……. that they didn’t see any need to have a special election because not having a Congressman between June and January “wouldn’t hurt the district.” There reasoning is that Congress wouldn’t be in session much of the time anyway.
No, I’m not kidding. Look at this. All they can talk about is what is best for the Republican party. They don’t give a big bear’s butt about the district or its citizens.
Okay, Dumb Guys, what if there’s a hurricane this summer? Don’t we need a Congressvarmint to help with FEMA and do some hollering? What if we go to war or Baghdad falls to the insurgents? We don’t have anyone representing us? What if a national emergency happens?
Most importantly, what about constituent services? Who is going to help the poor widow lady who has problems with her pension? Will we get no appointments to West Point or the Naval Academy? Who do we call with our opinion about bills? Who will help our veterans with problems with the VA? Who will attend the funerals of our war dead?
Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. If these idiots get their way, I’m holding a tea party at the Brazos River. I’m not kidding. I’ve got some Lipton Tea Bags and I’ll meet you there. They want taxation without representation. Over. My. Dead. Body. It ain’t happenin’. I have earned the right to have my voice heard in Congress and I’ll be a monkey’s uncle before I let some cheap local political hacks take that away from me.
Be sure to note the part of the article where the perhaps-future county chair says that a special election would be a “circus” because anybody can run. Yeah, like Democrats and Libertarians and Independents and folks you have no control over. You know, like real democratic elections. Oh, hide the children!
On the other hand, my Libertarian friend says it’s not a bad idea to be without a Congressman. We could use these six months to try it out and if it works, we could do it everywhere else and just get rid of Congress. He thinks they’re as worthless as a four card flush anyway.

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April 5 – There’s one thing I know sure as a Grandmother’s love: the Republicans are violating the law by putting a candidate up to fill DeLay’s spot in the November election. They can spin this until all their psychedelic colors blend into a purple haze, but Texas law does not allow you to replace a candidate because he sees that he’s going to lose.
They are violating the law and making a mockery of the electoral process. What scares me is that they’ve had so much practice that they are getting darned good at it.
Let me give you an idea of how truly wicked and arrogant their youngsters have become. Another local blogger pointed me to a perfectly serious statement a couple of local young Republican bloggers think is a dandy idea. I’m quoting directly from their blogs.
If there is any ambiguity over whether the GOP can replace DeLay on the ballot in November, won’t the state legislature simply rewrite/clarify the election code in the upcoming special session in a few weeks?
It’s pretty likely that this will be litigated, and equally likely that the GOP will be allowed to replace DeLay on the ballot. So perhaps the legislature will attempt to change the code.
So, if they law isn’t in your favor, change the law? This is the arrogance and win-at-all-costs morality that they teach their children. Even aside from that, isn’t having the State Lege act like a bunch of Republican bullies what got us into this mess in the first place?
Meanwhile, the Republican Party Chairman in Fort Bend County does not want a special election because he’s afraid that Democrat Nick Lampson will win it. Instead of letting the voters decide who will be the GOP nominee, he wants to decide it behind closed doors with some other fluffy white boy friends of his.
The intellectual dishonesty of local Republicans is what made me a straight ticket Democrat this year.

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April 4 – The email bag is overflowing. I posted a few so enjoy and I’ll post some more tomorrow.

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April 4 – How you know it’s really, really over.

Some neighbors of mine, who live around the corner, kept their DeLay sign up long after the primary election. The man of the household (and I use both of those terms loosely) said he did it because he knew I had to drive by it every day and he wanted to hack me off. Sounds a little passive-aggressive to me, so I didn’t let the sign bother me, figuring it was a mental health issue and I don’t screw around with crazy people.
This morning as I drove by, I couldn’t help but notice ….. well, a picture is worth a thousand words and I only know about 457 of them so I’ll let you take it from there.

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April 4 – Okay, I’ve hauled my giddy butt outta bed this morning. Best line I heard all night came in the form of an email from an admired friend who was watching the news reports on teevee,
I just wish the press would stop referring to DeLay as a Texan. It’s makin’ the rattlesnakes feel poorly.
Lucky Pierre
(Cletus’ former roommate)
My prediction is that Tom will continue in his present life-calling and become a teevee evangelist. It’s just like being a Congressman: the hours are good, you can have girlfriends on the side as long as you don’t get caught, you can get stoopid people to give you lotsa money, it helps if your wife cries a lot and can make “Jesus” a three-syllable word, and you get to wear fancy clothes. He’ll hardly know the difference.
In all seriousness, I ain’t playing the “what will happen next” game today because nobody really knows. I hear there’s some question if DeLay can even be replaced on the ballot because there’s a residency quirk in Texas law where you don’t have to live in a district to run for it.
Meanwhile, however, local Republicans are eating each other alive. David Wallace, the pretty Mayor of pretty Sugar Land, has been trying to wear Tom’s shoes while Tom was still in them, and seems to think that he and Bob Perry should be Congressvarmints. Republican political consultants are running all over town trying to get any sucker to run so they can make money off of them. The leaches are thick here, Honey.
It’s my theory that DeLay knew was going to resign before the primary election, which would explain his bizarre behavior of returning to DeeCee on election night for a lobbyist fundraiser. However, instead of letting the voters decide who should replace him, he acted as he always acts — he wants things to be decided in a closed backroom by the good ole boys, not by the voters.
It was simply the last underhanded, mean, and anti-democracy thing he could do to us before he left. Thanks again, Tom.
In answer to a couple of emails this morning, no, I am not shutting down the beauty shop right now. At least not until we insure that another DeLay clone isn’t on the way. (Besides, it’ll be so much fun covering the GOPper infighting over who gets to be the next DeLay.) However, I have accepted a highly lucrative writing position for the upcoming blog kissmybigblueass.org It’s southern women writing about southern politics. It’ll hurt ya, Honey. Once that gets started, I’ll close the shop and leave a forwarding address.
—-more to come —-

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April 3 – 9:10 p.m. – Chris Matthews just announced on MSNBC that he has spoken to Tom DeLay and DeLay is withdrawing from the race tomorrow.

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April 3 – You know that things aren’t lookin’ good when your Congressman starts being referred to as “Representative #2″ by federal prosecutors. Especially when Bob Ney is #1.
In a lead story in Roll Call (sorry, subscription only) today, it appears that federal prosecutors were very careful to insure that Tom DeLay can’t hide behind the same “legal technicality” (their phrase, not mine) that his good buddy Ralph Reed did.
By using conspiracy statutes against Abramoff and the two ex-DeLay aides, prosecutors have been able to use an umbrella approach to any crime committed by the trio without fear of being curbed by a statute of limitations.
and later in the same article …
Another potentially critical element to the Abramoff and Rudy pleas, as related to DeLay, is that their criminal conspiracies begin in 1997 — just as DeLay and Abramoff’s professional relationship went global.
It appears that no one else caught this little nuance by the Feds.
Now DeLay is trying to claim he really wasn’t all that close to Tony Rudy either. DeLay is starting to resemble the Madam of a Whorehouse claiming that she had no idea what was going on upstairs, and she’s just shocked, shocked I tell you, to discover that the girls were involved in hanky panky. As far as she knows, the girls just go upstairs and bring back money. Hummmm …. just like things in Tom’s congressional office.
And if you want to laugh a hearty laugh, please check The House that Jack Built in the New York Times.
This is DeLay,
Who built the machine
That redrew the districts
And raised the green,
That decided the races
That claimed the new seats,
That made the new friends
That owned luxury suites,
That held big galas
That brought the donations ……..

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March 31 – Uh oh, Tony Rudy is pleading guilty.
WASHINGTON – A former top aide to Rep. Tom DeLay has agreed to plead guilty to charges in the widening federal investigation of lobbyist fraud, a law enforcement official said Friday
Golly, now I understand why the Texas Department of Public Safety doesn’t want Tom DeLay to have a handgun.
Also, today’s Wall Street Journal (subscription only) has a front page story about “The DeLay Family” (Tom’s words for all his former staff). It focuses on Emily Miller, Michael Scanlon, and Tony Rudy. It’s hard to decide which one of these people is the scummiest. Honey, the folks down at Dirt Janochek’s trailer park have far more class than these people do.
Check out this paragraph from the story about Scanlon and Rudy:
The two shared a pit-bull political style and pushed Mr. DeLay to lead the charge in 1998 for the impeachment of President Clinton. “This whole thing about not kicking someone when they are down is B.S.,” Mr. Scanlon once wrote to Mr. Rudy in an email published in “The Breach,” a book by Peter Baker about the impeachment. “Not only do you kick him — you kick him until he passes out — then beat him over the head with a baseball bat — then roll him up in an old rug — and throw him off a cliff into the pound surf below!!!!!”
And Tom DeLay doesn’t even choke when he talks about “the politics of personal destruction.”

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March 31 – In my never-ending quest to make public records available to the ….. oh, dunno, the public? …. Here are GOP party chair candidate Gary Gillen’s non-computerized filings with the Texas Ethics Commission.
By the way, if Mr. Gillen can’t afford a computer, he can go to the public library and use one for free to file his reports. If he can’t understand how to use a computer, he can get a third grader to help him.
Gillen filing 12/05

Gillen filing 1/06
Gillen filing 2/06
I’ll try like the dickens to get Gillen’s 8 days before election day filings, but I ain’t making no promises. This took a lot of my time and is just darned silly on his part. It’s probably just a little trick he learned from his predecessor.

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March 30 – Tom DeLay is to religion what professional wrestlers are to sports.
It ain’t real, Darlin’.

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March 29 – So, I broke the story of Make My Day DeLay and his handgun permit right here 5 days ago.
The next day, internet bloggers picked it up.
On day 2, some internet news sites picked it up and ran with it. Keith Obermann and Jon Stewert picked it up. Harvey Kronberg picked it up from http://www.fortbendnow.com
On day 3, the national media, including the Houston Chronicle, ran the story.
On day 4, the Fort Texas Herald Coaster Bend Cougar Mellancamp ran the story from the Associated Press without even driving 2 miles to the courthouse to get actual papers.
And today, Jack Cafferty pitched it.
Chutzpah. It means you got some nerve. The disgraced former house majority leader Congressman Tom DeLay has Chutzpah to spare.

He’s under criminal indictment. He’s facing felony charges that could put him in prison. DeLay, nevertheless, thinks he should be allowed to carry a gun. His permit to carry a concealed handgun was suspended in January. This happens when you are indicted. But DeLay doesn’t think the rules should apply to him.

He’s appealing the suspension and he wants a new hearing. A mouth piece for DeLay wouldn’t say if he needs a handgun permit. She said, as for whether or not he carries it, that’s the point of having a concealed handgun license in Texas. Potential criminals should assume everyone is. Does being under indictment make Tom DeLay a potential criminal? That’s not the question.

Here’s the question. Should Tom DeLay be allowed to carry a concealed handgun? Email us your thoughts at caffertyfile@cnn.com or go to CNN.com/caffertyfile.

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March 29 – Senator John Cornyn either has a drinking problem or a talking problem, but whatever it is, he needs to find a cure. Do they have a 12-Step program for stoopid?
BASH: But like anything in politics, there are shades of gray. Senator John Cornyn is a Texas Republican searching for a middle ground. He says illegal immigrants should be able to work in the U.S. legally, but only if they return to their country of origin first.

(on camera): How worried are you about the deep divide within your own party over this issue?

SEN. JOHN CORNYN (R), TEXAS: I really am not worried about it. I think it’s actually healthy.

BASH: You think it’s healthy? In an election year it’s healthy?

CORNYN: Well, you know, that’s the problem in America, we’re always having elections.

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March 29 – Headline: DELAY SAYS CHRISTIANS ARE UNDER ATTACK
Question: How would he know?
Invoking the “glory of God,” former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay urged religious conservatives Tuesday to stand against an American culture he described as hostile to Christianity.
No, Tom, we’re not hostile to Christianity. We’re hostile to cigar-smokin’, gun-totin’, charity-siphonin’, money-greedin’, insider-tradin’, blasted hypocrites whose middle name should be Elmer Gantry. You, Mr. DeLay, are the hostile one among us.
Tom, you’ve wrapped yourself in the flag, the Bible, little children, and hot-shot criminal defense lawyers …. what is left for you to hide behind?
Son, you done honked me off this morning. First thing. Don’t do that again.

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March 29 – Let’s all shout AMEN at Rick Casey.
Here’s my proposal for improving the ethical climate in Texas politics.
Close down the Texas Ethics Commission.

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March 29 – Well heck, we’re back to Tom’s townhouse again, something I’ve been interested in for six years. Well, it seems there’s more hanky-panky involved.
Yesterday we reported that the U.S. Family Network, a sham nonprofit controlled by former DeLay Chief of Staff Ed Buckham and funded by Jack Abramoff’s lobbying clients, sold a Capitol Hill townhouse to Rep. Jim Ryun (R-KS) at a $19,000 loss. Given the hot real estate market in Washington, D.C. at that time, the low sale price raiseed the question of whether transaction was a de facto gift to Rep. Ryun.
Some people suspect they were using the townhouse for floozie sparkin’. I don’t. Those guys don’t like women enough to consort with them. Plus, that wouldn’t hurt enough other people to make it fun. I think they were using it insider day trading.

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March 27- Local Republican politics are getting hotter than a Cadillac bumper on a Del Rio parking lot in July. Most of the hollerin’ and spittin’ is over the GOP county chair race. They aren’t particularly worried about who’s gonna be county attorney or county court judge — you know, jobs that affect us all. No siree, they’re worried about themselves. They are forming a circle and locking and loading.
As I habitually do, I went to the Texas Ethics Commission to check the filings of the two GOP party chair candidates to see who’s donating to them.
Linda Howell filed her forms electronically and even bothered to correct a small mistake. She’s not hiding squat from you.
Gary Gillen, like the current GOP chair, files his by paper. That means you gotta call the Texas Ethics Commission and sweet talk them into mailing you copies of Gillen’s reports. Or drive to Austin and pick them up. Your choice. Okay, I mean my choice. You know I’m gonna do it. I always do.
Certainly Gillen is within the law to file his reports on paper. The law states:
Most individuals or entities filing a campaign finance report with the Texas Ethics Commission are required to file reports electronically unless the individual or entity is eligible to claim a statutory exemption. The legislature changed the allowable exemptions for reports due on or after September 1, 2003. Under the new law, a filer may claim an exemption from electronic filing only if the filer does not use a computer to keep current records of contributions, expenditures, or donors AND if the filer does not exceed $20,000 in political contributions or expenditures in a calendar year. A filer must include an exemption affidavit with each report filed on paper. (Emphasis mine.)
Here’s what the exemption affidavit says;
I further swear or affirm that I do not use computer equipment to keep current records of political contributions, political expenditures, or persons making political contributions to me.
I further swear or affirm that no person acting as my agent or consultant, and no person with whom I contract, uses computer equipment to keep current records of political contributions, political expenditures, or persons making political contributions to me.
Hey, you gotta admire a political candidate in this day and age who uses index cards and a #2 pencil to keep track of things.

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March 27 – It’s our Semi-Monthly “Do As I Say Religious Right Day” here at the beauty shop. Feel free to join in the fun.
First off, there’s Ralph Reed, who lays down with dogs and then seems amazed that he gets up with fleas. On something the Republicans like to call “a legal technicality” Reed escaped time in a Texas pokey.
Texas Travis County Attorney David Escamilla has just released a statement saying that he will not pursue a formal criminal investigation into Ralph Reed’s lobbying activities in Texas. Not because Reed didn’t break any laws – actually he says quite the opposite – but because there is a two-year statute of limitations for prosecuting misdemeanors in Texas. So Reed gets off the hook.
And then, pretending to be Dick Cheney with laryngitis, Justice Antonin Scalia leaves church and wonders what hand gesture Jesus would make.
BOSTON, March 27 (UPI) — U.S. Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia startled reporters in Boston just minutes after attending a mass, by flipping a middle finger to his critics.
A Boston Herald reporter asked the 70-year-old conservative Roman Catholic if he faces much questioning over impartiality when it comes to issues separating church and state.
“You know what I say to those people?” Scalia replied, making the obscene gesture and explaining “That’s Sicilian.”
No, Your Honor, that’s not Sicilian, that’s just rude, crude, and socially unacceptable. Good Heavens, what would John Marshall say?

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March 26 – Tom DeLay and his religious right brethren are caught with their fingers in the charity cookie jar again.
A top adviser to former House Whip Tom DeLay received more than a third of all the money collected by the U.S. Family Network, a nonprofit organization the adviser created to promote a pro-family political agenda in Congress, according to the group’s accounting records.
DeLay’s former chief of staff, Edwin A. Buckham, who helped create the group while still in DeLay’s employ, and his wife, Wendy, were the principal beneficiaries of the group’s $3.02 million in revenue, collecting payments totaling $1,022,729 during a five-year period ending in 2001, public and private records show.
My almost favorite line in the story is this one —-
It was at this dinner (in the Marianas) DeLay gave the speech in which he called Abramoff “one of my closest and dearest friends,” according to a copy. DeLay also reminded Tan and his colleagues of his earlier promise that no wage and immigration legislation would be passed.
“Stand firm,” DeLay said in his closing. “Resist evil. Remember that all truth and blessings emanate from our Creator.” He then departed with Tan to see a cockfight, according to a written account by one of the trip participants.
Cockfight? Cockfight? Well, I hope they gave Tom’s cock a proper Christian burial.
The half dozen or so of my friends who have followed my writing remember an article I wrote for a local newspaper about US Family Network several years ago. They wouldn’t tell where they got one million dollars for a skybox, a townhouse, and a GMC pickup truck. At the time, I wondered …
Why is Tom so ashamed of who gave him One Million Dollars cash money that he has to keep it a secret? Was it Osama Bin Laden? Buddhist nuns? Proponents of light rail? Phillip Morris?
I then sarcastically suggested that Tom got the money from a local drug dealer who was hiding money in the walls of his house. Turns out that it’s worse than that. Tom DeLay is a secret Commie. He’s a spy for the Soviet Union and the Commies “paid” his “charity” One Million Dollars. Okay, so I’m just supposing about the spy stuff, but why else would they give him One Million Dollars Plus Some More After a Lunch in Houston?
Last year the Washington Post reported that in 1997 Tom DeLay and Jack Abramoff went on a lavish golfing junket to Russia that was paid for by NAFTASib, an Abramoff client with “tight connections to the Russian security establishment.”
………
But it turns out the junket is the least of the story, because after the trip NAFTASib also gave money to the U.S. Family Network, an advocacy group closely associated with DeLay. Lots of money. A million dollars, in fact. And just what did the Russian security establishment want from DeLay? Did they really spend a million bucks via NAFTASib just to influence DeLay’s vote on an IMF bailout — as one of DeLay’s associates admitted to the Post? Who knows.
But whatever it was for, Peter Stone has a new piece in the National Journal today informing us that even more money was involved than we thought. Through a front company, NAFTASib also donated $250,000 to the U.S. Family Network before DeLay’s trip to Moscow. That payment came shortly after a lunch meeting in Houston, and Stone reports that “the meeting has attracted the attention of federal investigators.”
Then the next thing we know, it turns out that Tom’s Commie friends were feeding information to Saddam in Iraq.
MOSCOW (AP) – Russia had a military intelligence unit operating in Iraq up through the 2003 U.S. invasion and fall of Baghdad, a Russian analyst said Friday as the Pentagon reported Moscow fed Saddam Hussein’s government with intelligence on the American military.
So, while he’s turning in his handgun, why doesn’t he just go ahead and turn in his resignation?
Look, I’m not saying that Tom DeLay is a dirty, rotten, thieving, hypocritical, Cuban-cigar smokin’, Benedict Arnold, Philistine, lyin’, son of motherless goat, but …… no, wait. That’s exactly what I’m saying. I’m saying let’s give him his handgun back and drop his flightsuit-wearin’ butt into downtown Baghdad.
Do I hear an Amen?

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March 24 – UPDATED BREAKING NEWS: Oh my goodness gracious, Dirty Harry DeLay is nosed-up against a roadblock. It seems the Republican controlled Texas Legislature passed a law that if you’re indicted for a felony, you can’t be carrying a concealed handgun, even if you have a license.
Oops.
At the request of the Texas Department of Public Safety, Republican Justice of the Peace Jim Richards signed an order suspending Thomas Dale DeLay’s license to carry a handgun in the State of Texas.
Pistol Packin’ Tom is gonna have to borrow Dick Cheney’s shotgun now.

Click on image to see it life-size.

I just wanted you to be the first to begin wondering why Tom has to pack heat.
I dunno, the more I think about this, the more this seems like a bad idea. Maybe we should just let Tom have the darned handgun. It might be safer.

Here’s the document showing that the Texas Department of Public Safety wants Tom to quit carrying a concealed handgun.
And here’s some papers from one of Tom’s high faluting Austin lawyers saying that he’s gonna appeal this sucker, and take up valuable court time, hoping a judge will legislate from the bench and overrule legislative laws. Ain’t it amazing how some people’s “values” take an abrupt turn when it’s them on the business end of the gavel?
Okay, let me be honest with you. I’m a Democrat. I believe in the Constitution. I believe that you are innocent until proven guilty. I don’t think there should be any punishment for merely being indicted. An indictment is no proof of guilt.
However, Tom DeLay and “his” Texas Legislature – after all, TRMPAC money elected that bunch of clowns we have in Austin – don’t feel that way. They enacted this law to keep handguns away from suspected felons like Tom DeLay.
You made your bed, Tom, now sleep in it.
I believe that good and honest judges gave us civil rights, a 40-hour work week, child labor laws, and keeps us from being a police state. Tom DeLay, however, does not agree.
You ran your bath water, Tom, now start scrubbing.
By the way, Tom’s appeal will be heard by a Republican judge in Fort Bend. I sure hope he follows the law, because Tom has threatened to impeach judges who don’t.

(A salute to Deb for helping me find pictures.)

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March 23 – Well, I guess this picture pretty much explains why Tom DeLay avoided the military draft.

I guess they didn’t have a flight suit in size “Beergut,” so he had to settle for size Dinkydo.
I just want this to serve as a warning to politicians who spend too much time at 5-star hotels, prissy French restaurants, and lounging on corporate jets that this, too, could happen to you. You do not want to look like a penguin in flight suit.

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March 23 – How come every time lobbying money is used for a party, Tom DeLay’s name is involved? I mean, does he hold the franchise on partying with other people’s money? If you have a party, do you have to send him $100?
In case you folks from outta town missed it, Tom is wanting to build a great wall down from Brownsville to the Pacific Ocean. I’m not saying who he’s planning to hire to build this enormous wall, but it might be the same people who were serving his dinner at the country club and building the flower beds out of his children’s home. And I wonder if he’s thought about this? Next hurricane to hit South Texas, that wall is just gonna hold water in like a levee. We Texas good ole boys will be huddled up against that wall sitting in inner tubes clawing at bricks.
I have a better idea, let’s do what we did in 1836. Let’s invade Mexico and take the border to the Panama Canal. Problem solved. No more Republicans elected in Texas.

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March 21 – The bad news? Your Congressvarmint isn’t going to work to earn his salary. The good news? Oh, pretty much the same.
Look, it’s simple: The reason government doesn’t work is because Congress doesn’t.
The House of Representatives is on track this year to be in session for fewer days than the Congress Harry Truman labeled as “do-nothing” during his 1948 re-election campaign.
They are taking 2 weeks off in April, one week in May and July, and all of August. They also took a week off for Saint Patrick’s Day — that must have been some doozy of a hangover, huh Tom?
I dunno — they can’t win a war, get New Orleans or Mississippi rebuilt, control gas prices, finance education, have an understandable drug program for seniors, prepare for emergencies, bring down spending or the national debt, provide armor for our military ….. BUT, they can go on vacation!
However, the worse news of all is that Tom DeLay may be spending August here. As if heat, drought, and fire ants ain’t enough, we have to put up with Tom telling us how to live our lives. Maybe we should go on vacation in August.

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March 20 – Okay, there oughtta be a law and now there is.
Here’s how this is gonna work:
1. You are required by recently enacted law to bring your made-in-China silly little Support Our Troops magnetic car ribbon — which some of you put sideways to look like a fish and really make me wanna come knock on your driver’s side window, calmly wait until you roll it down, and then frighteningly upchuck all over said driver while screaming, “Jesus doesn’t approve of you cutting me off in traffic. It says so right there in the Bible somewhere.” – to the Beauty Shop. If we’re not here, you are required by law to drop it into the night slot.
2. You will then go home and write a letter to your Congressman, your Senators, and your President (if we still have one; it’s kinda hard to tell nowadays). This letter will state in clear concise language that you oppose any more cuts to veteran’s benefits, including education, medical care, and disability. You will put exclamation points in this letter and make a couple of threats about election time.
3. You will sign these letters and bring them to the beauty shop. When you hand me these letter ready to mail, I will smile and kindly return your silly ribbon even though it does no good whatsoever and demeans the American soldier.
4. I do not trust you to get these letters to the mailbox. If somebody can sell you a piece of plastic and make you think that helps the troops, then you can’t be trusted with grown-up things like mailboxes.
The reason I enacted this law is because of a picture a friend sent me from Portland, Oregon, this morning. I need a sign like that!

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March 20 – All you free marketers can kiss my rosy red knee caps.
AUSTIN – Under electricity deregulation, Texans have paid some of the highest rates in the nation — a reversal of at least a decade of relatively cheap electricity under the state’s old regulated system.
That’s the conclusion of a national utility expert, who also reports that those in deregulated states typically have had larger rate increases than customers in states still under regulation. Separate academic reports likewise show, after making adjustments for inflation and other factors, that electricity prices in Texas have gone up since 1996, while those in regulated states have gone down; and that in general terms, electricity prices in the United States have not fallen under competition.
Deregulation: brought to you by the same friendly folks who brought you the idea that we don’t need a law against war profiteering.

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March 19 – I have voted Democratic all my life, and when I die I want to be buried in Duval County where I can continue to vote Democratic.

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March 17 – Where was our courageous budget-cutting Congressvarmint when we really needed him? Was he vote-dodging again?
The Senate voted 52-48 to increase the legal limit on federal borrowing to $8.97 trillion, up from $8.18 trillion. The House avoided an election-year vote on raising the debt limit by automatically sending the bill to the Senate when it passed a budget last year.
It’s official. Conservative Republican has officially become an oxymoron.
Each and every one of us, even your tiny little baby, is $30,000 in debt and we still have no Homeland Security, a won war, emergency preparedness or an answer as to why Ann Coulter has an Adam’s apple.
George Bush and the Republican controlled Congress has borrowed more money from foreign governments than all the past Presidents combined. If Tom DeLay doesn’t have the moral courage to vote against this, I have a well-booted foot and can reach his butt without even working up a sweat.
Remember when DeLay said out of the other side of his mouth …
Let me tell you what we are doing here tonight. You are ordering beefsteak, and you have already ordered it. And you have eaten it, and you have given them your credit card. And then you found out that you are over your credit limit. But because you do not have a constitutional amendment that says you have got to live within your credit limit, you are just going to raise it arbitrarily so that you can continue your spending habits.”
- Majority Leader Tom DeLay, TX [Cong. Record, 4/1/93]
So he has a new nickname in my book, “Beefsteak.” Pass it on.

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March 16 – Tom DeLay just couldn’t resist being a sore winner on election night. He’s just a nasty little man and that’s all there is to it. If there ever was a gracious bone in his body, it died of atrophy.
It’s not only mean and petty to vilify your opponents on election night, it’s stoopid politics. After claiming this his Republican opponents were valueless, DeLay went on to call them names and even suggested that a couple of them have yet to fully explain where they were on November 22, 1963. Or something close to it.
Pat Baig responded to Delay’s personal attack,
“I believe Tom DeLay embodies the malignancy that is destroying the integrity, credibility and historical cornerstones of the Republican Party. That is why I ran against him. I cannot vote for corruption; therefore, as in ’04, he will not have my vote in ’06.”
Phew! That Pat knows how to respond, don’t she?
Look, it’s time we face it: Tom DeLay hates everybody, even his own mother. He dropped 15 percentage points in Fort Bend County since the last GOP primary and that’s because he’s mean, insufferable, cocky, and … well, heck, it’s only March and I know a whole mess of adjectives. Drop by around October and see what I really, really think of him.

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March 14 – Paul Kiel happened on another problem for Tom. It seems that the FEC is interested in DeLay buying ARMPAC’s mailing list for pennies on the dollar.
It seems that the FEC had its curiosity piqued when it came across a disclosure for the sale of ARMPAC’s (DeLay’s political action committee) mailing list to DeLay’s Congressional Committee. The disclosure said that the list was worth $3,138.87. That seemed fishy to the FEC; and outside observers agree that it sounds way low. DeLay’s committee responded Friday to their inquiry by saying that the list was “valued by several vendors.” We’ll see if that satisfies the FEC.
Mr. Kiel wonders if Tom has the money to pay a fine, considering that his cash flow is currently tied up in lottery voodoo practitioners and writ twits.
Gary Bauer’s committees got hit with a $46,000 fine last year for a similar problem. $46,000…that’s at least two weeks’ worth of lawyering, no?
Playing cute with the FEC ain’t real bright.

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March 14 – Just when you recover from Tom DeLay talking like an uneducated snake-handling backwoods hick who thinks the rooster really does make the sun rise, along comes Tom’s best buddy, State Representative Charlie Howard. The following was published in a statewide magazine.

No, really. I’m fryin’ if I’m lyin’. Charlie Howard thinks that way.
Short dose of reality for Charlie: The Pythagorean theory is also a theory, but dagnabbit, if you’re going to compute the hypotenuse of a right triangle, there’s not much else that works as good.
Gravity is a theory. I can almost promise you that things don’t fall to the ground because of some magic mojo voodoo thing that Delilah said to Goliath. Gravity is just a theory, but I wouldn’t pick a fight with it if I were you because it’s got better than even odds that it’s gonna win.
This is what happens when we let political scientists mess with real science. They think it’s magic.
Polite suggestions for politicians: If you don’t understand science, shuddup about it because you look like an idiot. Impolite suggestion for politicians: Quit making God look like a tiny little freak with a personality disorder. God is bigger than your head, and that, you twit, is no theory.

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March 13 – Our friend Don from outta town sent us this. He got it secondhand so we don’t know who to thank for the laugh:
The Washington Nationals baseball team is moving to bar lobbyists from holding season’s tickets and box seats….

Seems every time the Indians or the Braves came to town, Jack Abramoff tried to shake them down for a hundred thousand dollars.

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March 13 – We’ve got some breaking news here, Folks. Okay, this is funny if you live here and know the parties involved. It’s even a tad funny if you don’t.
You all recall that Republican County Commissioner Andy “Mr. Politics” Meyers asked for a study about the county’s compliance with HIPAA. The whole purpose of the study was to attempt to embarrass County Clerk Dianne Wilson, who The Boys hate. No, I’m serious, some Republican boys have formed the We Hate Dianne Wilson Club. Most of them are a little prissy and probably hate the fact that she dresses well. We simply call them The Boys’ Club. Best we can figure, Andy Meyers is Vice President.
The responsibility for the study was promptly given to a company owned by retired Sugar Land city councilman Brian Gaston. Gaston is Commish Meyer’s fellow Christian Coalition Poster Boy. The two of them are tighter than petite panty hose on a fat lady. It takes the Jaws of Life to separate them. Neither of them have ever done anything in their 50ish years on this planet without a political motive. I could swear to that on a Bible in a court of law.
It never made sense to me that Gaston would then outsource this work, all $4,000 of it, to a lawyer with a telephone number from Virginia. I mean, why would a lawyer do the work for a whole report for merely $4,000? And with Gaston taking his cut before passing it along, that’s barely worth showing up for. That’s civil lawyer chump change when hired by Fort Bend County. Unless, of course, there was something else in it for the lawyer.

The Boys kept hollering that the need for this report was NOT political and the whole thing was on the up and up.
You know, I’d believe that if it were true. But it ain’t. Come to find out – and you heard it here first — Peter MacKoul, the outsourced lawyer, is living with Brian Gaston in his Sugar Land bachelor pad. How do I know they are roommates? Well, they are both registered to vote at Brian’s house in Sugar Land, 22 Crestwood Circle. Oh my goodness, ain’t that just too cozy!
Additionally, on this website right here, MacKoul list Gaston’s personal home phone number as his business number. Hey Boys, if you’re going to dip in the cookie jar, don’t wear fingerprint dust when you’re doing it.
Well, the $4,000 report didn’t get finished before the primary election in time to embarrass Dianne. So, the Boys decided to try to release an incomplete report. The acting county attorney put her foot down, thank goodness, and stopped the We Hate Dianne Wilson Club in their tracks. Fairness never stands in the way of The Club, so they did what they do best – whined.
By the way, MacKoul is not licensed to practice law in Texas.

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March 13 – Okay, I have stayed out of Fort Bend ISD politics lately for three reasons.
(1) Been there; done that. Ole Doc Raj is now at Phoenix Union High School District and as far as I’m concerned, that’s about 1,000 miles too close to me. I hope he ain’t ripping them off and getting an interest free loan from their school board, but I wouldn’t bet a dime on it. So, after all my hard work getting rid of The Raj, the district gets another Superintendent who’s a jerk and plays loose with tax dollars, too, so … splat on ‘um, I lost interest.
(2) 46% of the county (I counted) figures that this is just another Republican spat, and since it’s the Republican way or the highway around here, there’s not diddle squat we can do about it anyway. Cripes, the school board fight traveled to the New Territory fight and then made a right turn at the “I’m not going to vote for her because she’s friends with her” primary election fight. Good Lord. When the Republican Party chairman gets involved with a supposedly non-partisan school board fight and there’s no Democrats involved at all, that’s a pretty clear indication that this sucker is out of control.
(3) Three-fourths of the county figures that anybody who would elect David Wallace and Allen Owen as mayor pretty much deserves whatever they get. I’m serious. That’s what the rest of us think. The SugarLandcentric folks need to get out more often.
And then there’s the real reason: grown women screeching at each other in public gets on my nerves something fierce and that’s what this has degenerated into. And then to put a cherry on top, Hal Jay is re-running for the school board. Hal Jay. Have mercy on us all. When things get so bad that Hal Jay thinks he can be re-elected, we’re in the handbasket drinking kool-aide.
This is a political website and the worst thing that can happen to a school board is for it to become a political breeding ground for nasty Republican infighting. As tasty as this fight would be for a political humorist, I ain’t biting. This plays right into the hands of the anti-public school capitalists.

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March 10 – Something kinda noteworthy and interesting has happened under the main stream media radar. Not that that shocks anybody anymore.
Barbara Bonfiglio has quit her job at the “mega-lobbying firm” Williams & Jensen.
[Barbara] Bonfiglio was a lobbyist until 2001 and is an authority on election law. She has managed 31 separate political action committees, according to the Center for Public Integrity. Federal records show Bonfiglio was also treasurer for former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay’s leadership PAC.

Why is this important? Bonfiglio was the treasurer of ARMPAC and the secretary of the DeLay Foundation. She knows where all the bodies are buried and could put DeLay away for decades. So Tom either got her fired so he could start the process of discrediting her – or she’s flipped. The IRS takes a very dim view of tax fraud – especially if you are a lawyer or accountant who facilitates it. No law firm could keep a lawyer who testified against her client.
Thanks to Alfredo and Deb for the tip.
And the beat goes on ….

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March 9 – For you folks from foreign states, here’s Tom’s biggest supporters in Fort Bend County, the voting location of Sugar Creek Country Club.

That’s the gauntlet you have to run to vote. Campbell won the sign war, but DeLay won the vote.

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March 9 – The Congressional Quarterly moves the DeLay / Lampson race from “Leans Republican” to “a toss up” after reviewing the GOP primary election returns from Tuesday.
Tom DeLay and his partisans are hailing his primary victory Tuesday as a landslide and vindication from his constituents that the Texas Republican’s legal and ethical problems are behind him.

But the primary result in Texas’ 22nd District — 62 percent for DeLay, 38 percent combined for his three little-known GOP challengers — should give him and his supporters pause. DeLay, who has been very popular in his home base in and near Houston through most of his 12-term career, lost nearly two-fifths of the partisan Republican vote: Tom Campbell, a lawyer who had never run for office before, pulled down 30 percent alone. (County-by-county results)
There’s also another interesting number to come out of the GOP primary voting. DeLay won Brazoria County with 67% of the vote, Galveston County by 69%, Harris County by 73%, but Fort Bend by only 56%. This proves what I’ve always said, “Those who know Tom best like him least.” Here’s a little Ross Perot chart thingy.
Brazoria 67%
Galveston 69%
Harris 73%
Fort Bend 56%

Honey, if these numbers don’t highly suggest Tom-fatigue, I don’t know what does.
However, a few of my friends suggest it was the robo-calls from County Judge Bob Hebert saying what a perfectly wonderful example of the human species Tom DeLay is that was like roping an anchor on Tom and dropping him off the Brazos River Bridge. It was fun to see that the lobbyist-owned cronies stick together flies and roadkill when the votes are down, Honey.
And before the members of the Republican 101st Fighting Keyboard Brigade, who majored in political science in college rather than real science, get their typing fingers going faster than their brains and say, “Yeah, but a whole bunch more people voted in the GOP primary than the Democratic primary, stop. No, I’m serious. Stop. You are embarrassing yourself. In my 25 years in this county, I have never seen so many crossover votes. Never.
And then I know some Democrats who sat at home so they could sign Strayhorn’s petition. Tee hee hee.

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March 8 – Vanity Fair has such a delightful picture this month!

And according to the Drudge Report, Jack says of his friend Tom,
Abramoff has “admired Tom DeLay and his family from the first meeting with him,” he tells Margolick. “We would sit and talk about the Bible. We would sit and talk about opera. We would sit and talk about golf,” Abramoff recalls. “I mean, we talked about philosophy and politics.”
Well, obviously all that Bible talk was about ecleastical loopholes. Lemme see, the Bible and philosophy … hummm … Machiavelli and Judas? Or maybe 10 pieces of silver and the social contract? Look, you guys talked about backswings, wild wimmen, and how to rip off Indians. We ain’t buying that opera crapola either.

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March 8 – In a stunning move of political courage in the 21st Century reflecting our growth as a community, Fort Bend Republicans got together last night and elected an entire ticket of …. prepare yourselves for a shocker …. white male candidates. We’re so proud of them for this courageous act in a community they like to say “celebrates diversity.” We suspect that celebration even includes Margaritas on Cinco de Mayo and an occasional trip to Thai Cottage for some of that there spicy stuff. Going further than that with this whole “diversity” thing seems a bit overboard to them.
The only females who won were in races where only females ran, or where females were removed from the ballot. Whoop te Stinkin’-I-Am-Woman-Hear-Me-Roar doo.
In all honesty, there are some females in the run-offs, however all three of them came in second place. I’ve got a perfectly good ten dollar bill American legal tender money that says none of the three of them will win the run off.
Roy Cordes and Bud Childers, both Crony-Good-Ole-Boy Hall of Famers, will go up against Carolyn McDaniel and Nina Schaefer. It don’t take a degree in meteorology to figure out which way the wind is blowing in those races. Linda Howell won’t win the GOP party chairman race because Eric Thode will pull out all stops to keep his chubby little finger in Fort Bend politics.
Now I know the Republican will respond with pride that they have Annie Rebecca Elliott on the ticket, who used to be Annie Morales and then Annie Jalamo before she became Annie Elliott and a Republican. Her primary campaign signs or literature never mentioned her “other” names. And, least we not forget, her incumbent opponent was kicked off the ballot. I mean, think about it – it takes a court order to get a minority on the local Republican ticket.
Run-off is April 11th. I know this is courageous on my part, but I’m predicting an all fluffy white male Republican ticket!
I’ll have some pictures from yesterday to put online when I find my camera, so check back to see if I got one of you.
And, I just need to say one thing to the Boys at the Herald Texas Coaster Fort Bend Strayhorn Cougar Mellencamp Newspaper — snicker, snicker, tee hee, snicker. Check Dianne Wilson’s numbers, Boys, she led the ticket, again. You need to surrender. You’ve been fighting her for 15 years and she’s whooped you so bad that your grandchildren will be born shaking.
Oh yeah, before I forget, I got a call late last night saying that Hegar beat Gates because I was so successful at distracting Gates’ paid political consultant. I think they’re gonna send me $10 or something for my help. Not necessary; proud to do it.

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March 7 – There’s an election eve tradition of going to all the polls late at night and putting up signs for your favorite candidate. It’s probably a waste of time, effort, trees, and metal wire, but if your opponent does it, you have to, too. Also, it’s become a social event in Fort Bend. You see some of the same people every election and swap election stories.
Here’s a shot from the George Library last night about 10:00 of both Democrats and Republicans putting up signs –

And a shot of Bob Wilson taking a break –

And then there’s always the candidate who breaks the unwritten rule of never putting your sign in front of someone else’s sign –

Roy, I knew you didn’t want people to think that you simply got meaner when you turned Republican, or that your manners got left in Sugar Land, so – in front of witnesses – I personally removed your sign at the County Annex in Rosenberg and took it home to my garage for safekeeping until you can come pick it up. You’re very welcome.

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March 7 – You can spent tonight watching election returns with Tom Campbell, Nick Lampson, Mike Fjeltand, or Pat Baig for free. You DeLay voters will have to cough-up at $500 and a plane ticket to DeeCee — that’s IF you got an invitation, of course.
DeLay’s toughest primary challenger, attorney Tom Campbell, criticized the congressman’s election night plans.
“I think it’s amazingly ironic and callous he would be spending election night with a group of lobbyists,” Campbell said. “I don’t think he understands how unhappy constituents are with what appears to be a trade of principle for power.”
Entry to the fundraiser costs $1,000, $2,500 and $5,000 for political action committees and $500, $1,000 and $2,100 for individuals, according to an event invitation.

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March 6 – They’re gonna put me in the movies; they’re gonna make a big star out of me. Thanks to Deb for the heads-up and new Tom DeLay theme song!
The Big Buy: How Tom DeLay Stole Congress. Coming to a living room near you.

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March 6 – Guys – in a break from normal, I will not be posting election results here on election night as I have done for the past …. oh, I dunno, century or so.
Bob Dunn will have results on his website. It’ll be a lot fancier, but most importantly it will allow me to attend parties on election night.

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March 6 – The Dallas Morning News has better coverage of the DeLay GOP primary today than the Chronicle does.
I agree with Dr. Richard Murray – DeLay will win the primary, but if he wins with less than 60%, he’s hurtin’ and that’s why he’s hidin’ out on election night. Bob Dunn predicts 57% (and has some fun with local politicos).
I got a mailout from DeLay saying that Democrats were voting in the Republican primary for his opponent. That ain’t happening. Crossover Democrats are voting for DeLay. Reason? Well, when Republicans want to raise money, they holler, “Abortion!” or “Flag burning!” or “Consenting adults are doing nasty things in their bedrooms and won’t let you watch!” When Democrats want to raise money, they simply say, “Tom DeLay.” They don’t even have to holler.

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March 5 – The newspaper all over the country are filled with Tom DeLay stories. Here’s some of my favorites.
The Dallas Morning News has a dilly. Oops, caught again fibbing about the lobbyists.
DeLay spokeswoman Shannon Flaherty said Mr. DeLay won’t campaign publicly this weekend. For election night, “he’s going to be in D.C.; he’s got votes.”
It turns out Ms. Flaherty wasn’t telling the whole story. Mr. DeLay will be with high-dollar donors, at a fundraiser hosted by lobbyists Susan Molinari and Bill Paxon, spouses who met as fellow House members. The Wall Street Journal first caught wind of the event, which suggests that Mr. DeLay views campaign cash as a more urgent necessity than excitement.
The Seattle Times isn’t any kinder.
“I expect him to make it through the primary fairly handily, but my sense of this is that DeLay is in trouble over the course of this election cycle,” said Cal Jillson, a political-science professor at Southern Methodist University.
The Winston-Salem Journal even headlined the story using the words “tough time,” and quoting more of DeLay’s opponent than DeLay. That’s gotta get under DeLay craw.
“Mr. DeLay is unelectable and Republicans in our district have a choice. They can either elect a conservative that doesn’t carry the baggage Mr. DeLay carries or one that Nick Lampson has the ability to beat,” Campbell said.

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March 4 – You know, you gotta be some kind of ungrateful jerk not to spend election night with the people who elected you. Oh wait, we’re talking about Tom DeLay….
He [DeLay] will spend Tuesday evening at a fundraiser hosted by husband and wife Bill Paxon and Susan Molinari, who served together in Congress before becoming lobbyists.
I guess the citizens of Fort Bend County should get ourselves a lobbyist so maybe we could get Tom to visit us.
Also from the ABC article:
Non-partisan political analyst Stu Rothenberg tells ABC News that it’s “not impossible” that DeLay will be forced into a run-off against Republican Tom Campbell, his strongest rival. Texas law mandates a runoff if no candidate gets 50 percent plus one. If necessary, the runoff would be held April 11.
A Primary Win Won’t Be End to DeLay’s Troubles
Assuming DeLay gets through the primary, Rothenberg thinks DeLay is in “huge trouble” come November. The Rothenberg Political Report rates DeLay as one of the 10 most vulnerable House incumbents in the country. The Democratic nominee will be Nick Lampson, a well-financed former member of Congress.
Kinda makes you wonder if Tom is hiding out in DeeCee for the hot tubs and champagne, or if he’s just hiding out.

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March 3 – I have always had a problem with “endorsement” lists. Let’s say you have three people on your endorsement list. One of them is going to say you didn’t have permission to use his name, another of them is somebody who has hacked-off the entire youth baseball league and you didn’t know about that, and the third is …. oops, a convicted felon on probation?
State Senate Candidate Gary Gates, a man who has more baggage than the average bus station, sent out a double-sided four-page fold-out mail-out listing about 2,000 people who he claims support him in his district. The Fort Bend County section of those names include several very liberal Democrats (with no one else in the county registered with the same name) and one rather shocking endorsement … a man currently serving a ten year probated sentence for assault on a police officer, after having been to The Big House.

Yeah, it’s the same guy. There’s only one Curtis Ray Lucas registered to vote in the county, and he’s the Mental Health Poster Child for Richmond. It was in all the papers. Honey, we had to hire another village idiot while Rev. Curtis was in the pokey.
… The Rev. Curtis Lucas of Richmond’s Mount Carmel Missionary Baptist Church was released from custody as well after reading his own letter of apology. He was sentenced Aug. 25 to two years in prison for biting the finger of Richmond Police Officer David Evans during a scuffle Lucas instigated on Sept. 17, 2003. After Lucas served 40 days of his sentence, Culver released him, but placed him on 10 years’ probation.
Lucas’s wife, Mary, also endorses Gates. Hey, at least she can vote for him. Rev. Curtis has his voter registration temporarily …. uh, on hold.

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March 3 – Finally, some real investigative reporting about campaign finance ….
If you contribute to a candidate, how do you know if the money was spent to get that candidate elected? Investigative reporter Nanci Wilson found out.
…
Investigates found they spent thousands of

Step 1
Remain a candidate until after your party primary has passed. If necessary, make bold statements declaring that you will win the race. This will protect your tough guy image and most importantly keeps campaign contributors on the hook and giving as long as possible.
“I plan to run a very vigorous campaign, and I plan to win it,” he [DeLay] said. (Source: The Associated Press – March 4, 2006).
Step 2
Soon after the primary, announce that you are not going to run after all. This is tricky. You need to announce quickly following the primary, so you can protect as much campaign cash as possible for your legal bills. Don’t announce too soon though, because you don’t want to trigger a special election on May 13, a statutory election day in Texas. (Source: Texas Election Code § 41.001) An announcement during the first week of April is just about right.
Step 3
Exploit a loophole in the Texas election law that allows you to be replaced on the ballot if you revoke your Texas residence and agree to move out of state. Be prepared to take some criticism.
Good Lord, are we Texans ever fortunate that Tom DeLay wasn’t at the Alamo. If he had been, when Col. William B. Travis drew that line in the sand, Tom would have said, “Are you crazy? I’m moving to Northern Virginia.” (Source: John Kelso – Austin American Statesman Friday, April 07, 2006)
Step 4
Direct the Governor to not use his authority under the Texas Election Code Section 41.0011 to call an emergency special election, even if it means voters will be without a Member of Congress for over four months while key votes on congressional appropriations will be taken.
(Tip for first-timers: This step goes smoother if you have a highly partisan, but very weak, Governor whom you have successfully bullied in the past).
Step 5
Now, pre-empt the Governor and announce that there will be no special election. It’s important to make your announcement first. That way everyone knows who’s really in charge. Ideally, make the announcement in a safe, far right wing venue so you won’t get any tough questions. It is ok to ignore the widely reported provision that allows the Governor to call an emergency special election on non-uniform election days. (Source: Texas Election Code Section 41.0011, The Houston Chronicle April 7, 2006)
RUSH: But you are going to retire or resign in enough time for there to be a special election so that —
CONGRESSMAN DeLAY: No, there won’t be a special election. Texas has a law that there’s only two dates that you can have a special election, November and May, and this weekend the deadline for the May special election will have passed.
RUSH: So it’s going to be an open seat election in November?
CONGRESSMAN DeLAY: Yes.
(Source: Rush Limbaugh Show, April 5, 2006)
Step 6
Finally, don’t go soft or lose your edge. Keep your “dirty tricks team” in the district working and scheming. If your old opponent stages a news conference, send a team in to wreck it. You’ll need them sharp when your hand picked candidate is ready to go.
“Let’s give Lampson a parting shot that wrecks his press conference,” read a mass e-mail to supporters by DeLay campaign manager Chris Homan. (Source: Fort Worth Star-Telegram, April 7, 2006) Watch the Video
Step 7 – Only for use by those under indictment
A State Legislature can be a useful tool to threaten a State prosecutor. You bought the legislature, use it. Here is how it’s done:
Transcript from Fox News Radio’s Tony Snow Show:
SNOW: Okay, so at this point, you know — are you willing to let bygones be bygones?
DELAY: Absolutely not. Texas should not allow a district attorney from Travis County have this kind of power. And they can take his power away from him because there was the Texas legislature that gave him this power. And I think that will happen in the next session of the Texas legislature.
SNOW: Oh, really?
DELAY: Yes.

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Right?

Tom, you’re a chickenshit chickenhawk that
whines like a little baby. Jesus like? I DON’T
THINK SO!! Jesus kept his composure with
spikes through his appendages. You whine like
the little SOB you are if just one thing doesn’t
go your way. Policy, indeed. Well, if that judge’s
‘policy’ means no more of your ugly face & whining
then that’s a policy I support.

Good riddance, you sniveling little boob.

P.S: I just talked to Jesus last night. He says he
hasn’t heard from you since you moved to Virginia.
Oh wait! He doesn’t take calls from K Street.

Comment by Big John — July 13, 2006 @ 2:51 pm

Odd. Perhaps I’m mistaken, but didn’t notice that any Liberals were crying that he was on the ballot. I was under the impression that the Democratic party actually preferred to have him on the ballot because all his corruption charges will insure a loss for the GOP.

Seems like a fitting strategic maneuver after all of DeLay’s gerrymandering of the state. Republican’s don’t seem to mind his redistricting of the state… that’s for sure.

Ultimately both parties are playing dirty. What do you want? This is the current sad state of affairs that we find ourselves in… in what has in effect become just another banana republic as far as politic corruption is concerned.

The only solution is to wipe both parties off of the political map and start over again. It’s beyond repair. The sooner you guys realize that, the better off we’ll all be.

Comment by Jason — July 12, 2006 @ 6:56 pm

Errr… do ya think it has anything to do with the fact that 90% of the MSM is owned by Zionists?

Naaaahhhh…

theres that soild gottdarn piece of paper again =]

Comment by Stop the Witch Hunt
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It’s called projection.