Newt has plan to become president ‘almost by magic.’
By on Nov 21st, 2006 at 3:48 pm
Newt has plan to become president ‘almost by magic.’
“I am not ‘running’ for president,” former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-GA) tells Fortune. “I am seeking to create a movement to win the future by offering a series of solutions so compelling that if the American people say I have to be president, it will happen.”
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I needed that laugh today. That’s rich. I never knew NG had a such a sense of humor and irony.
November 21st, 2006 at 3:51 pmRun, Newt, run!
Oh please please please please please please pretty please with sugar on top run, Newt! You’d make th awesomest preznit in years! Maybe even ever!
November 21st, 2006 at 3:51 pmSilly Newt…
(shaking head in utter disbelief at the persisting puerile Rethuglican view of politics…)
November 21st, 2006 at 3:54 pmAnd to think of how ridiculed John Kerry was for failing to deliver his joke properly!
It’s too bad The Daily Show and The Colbert Report are taking the week off!
November 21st, 2006 at 3:59 pmI’m the Newt of Earl and you can be my Newtess…
With apologies to the late and great Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention.
Cheers.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:00 pmSolution # 1:
Newt retires from politics forever.
Solution # 2:
Newt declines further press interviews.
Solution # 3:
Newt takes up an honest profession like dog catcher.
Pretty compelling solutions, but I still won’t vote for him.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:02 pmby using fairy dust & magic beans, the presidency will simply sprout up underneath Newts fat butt & he will rise miraculously into the White House. hoorah!
sheesh…I want some of what he’s been smoking.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:02 pmwasn’t that Ross Perot’s shtick, too. “I’m running because the people want it” kind of thing.
THey’re both crazy, but at least Perot made a fortune in real life while Newtie has just made money from being crazy about politics.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:03 pmAS IF??!?!??!?!?!??!?!!
November 21st, 2006 at 4:04 pmThe Immaculate Presidency.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:04 pmThat Newt Gingrich is so damn likeable the nation will come running to his call.
Then again, I predicted that OJ would have a career after his acquittal on double homicide charges.
-GSD
November 21st, 2006 at 4:07 pmIt sounds like he’s going to repackage the same empty promises he had in the contract with america.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:08 pmThe notion that a proven loser like Newt might be even remotely considered presidential timber shows just how fast and far the GOP has fallen.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:09 pmNewt is a superinflated asshat !
November 21st, 2006 at 4:11 pmGingrich Potion (Guarantees Election to High Office)
Contains some or all of the following
November 21st, 2006 at 4:12 pmDenial, Deceit, Twisted neo-con phillosophy, Eye of the Newt
Hey, it worked for Nader in ‘96.
Oh, wait.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:12 pmYet another broken “Contract with America”
November 21st, 2006 at 4:13 pmNewt should run….waste his money and make it a “shoe in” for Dems in 08! Run, Neutered Newt, run! We’re begging you.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:13 pmI would vote for him.
If he poors 100s of billions into getting America off Saudi Arabia oil umbilical via hydrogen, ethnanol, pebble bed nuclear reactors, whatever… short of that he had better have Jesus running as his VP.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:13 pmWell if he DID offer compelling solutions to America’s problems, the country would demand he be made president.
Of course, is there anyone here that thinks that this is really what he has in mind? He’s reinvented himself alright… in his own mind.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:17 pmThe Prancing Pony Party…
November 21st, 2006 at 4:21 pm“Sure Newt, It’s a slam dunk.”
Somewhere in his fantasy America will greet him with flowers and chocolates.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:22 pmEye of Newt,
Limb of Bush.
Brain of Rove,
Mouth of Rush.
Mix well for about 3 seconds.
Put in oven at 6,700 degrees for a week.
Problem is, they still come out half baked!
If Getrich runs for President, how ’bout Coulter for VP?
I say let’s dump Newt faster than he dumped his last 2 wives.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:25 pmNewt – a reptile that lives under rocks
Yep, his mama done named that one good.
The RNC presidential candidates:
Newt Gingrich
John McCain
Bill Frist
Yeah, that’ll be fun to watch.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:31 pmKeep. Dreaming.
Gingrich as president? Not. Going. To. Happen. Hell, he’s even unpopular in Georgia! The rest of the country dislikes him even more.
Crawl back under your rock, Newt!!!
November 21st, 2006 at 4:35 pmAnd, we can TRUST Newt! Just ask his first two wives.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:35 pmHis secret is you don’t really see a FAT PIG, he is really pregnant with Jebus. He thinks it’s Jebus second coming (Chimpy talks to god and told hime so). Sadly what really will happen it will be a black female baby, thus dousing the hope of all Jebus lovers all over America.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:36 pmWay off topic but I just read a real good article on gay marriage.
Definately worth a read.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:40 pmNewt thinks he is the second coming of Jeebus…
Do delusions of grandeur get any more absurd?
November 21st, 2006 at 4:43 pmEye of Newt,
Limb of Bush.
Brain of Rove,
Mouth of Rush.
Mix well for about 3 seconds.
Put in oven at 6,700 degrees for a week.
Problem is, they still come out half baked!
Comment by Zimzone — November 21, 2006 @ 4:25 pm
Let me guess… this is a potion that makes you vomit every 2 years.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:45 pmWhat an insane Christofascist cultist!
Good grief. The god damned insane cultist morons truly are profoundly bug-shitting insane.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:56 pmYou can run Newt, but you can’t hide. All that baggage is gonna slow you down. Just what we want, the architect of the “Contract on America” running the show. Sorry Newtster, your time has come….and gone.
November 21st, 2006 at 4:59 pmFaith based Campaign?
November 21st, 2006 at 4:59 pmEveryone here knows that Newt’s legacy is based on his utter failure to deliver on his “Contract with America.” Why would we want another failed presidency, when we have one right now?
November 21st, 2006 at 5:03 pmHe can run with Guliani on the
November 21st, 2006 at 5:05 pm“Adultery Ticket”
the party of fake values and fake morals would really show their true colors.
“I am seeking to create a movement to win the future by offering a series of solutions so compelling that if the American people say I have to be president, it will happen.†— Newt
Bwahahahahahahaha.
November 21st, 2006 at 5:07 pm**deep breaths****
Bwahahahahahahaha.
He’s been reading too many Wayne Dyer books.
November 21st, 2006 at 5:09 pmand newt who knew too much……. when you make all your animal deals, you’re still thick as a brick
November 21st, 2006 at 5:09 pmSounds like he is planning on stealing the pResidency again or think he will just be appointed by the “great decider” or SCOTUS. Either of those scenarios are pretty scary.
November 21st, 2006 at 5:09 pmHe gives salamanders a bad name.
But I want him to run. That makes four adulterers running for the Republican nomination: Newt, John, Rudy & Mitt.
November 21st, 2006 at 5:11 pmSounds like Newt may actually be Tyler Durden and has finally initiated Project Chaos.
November 21st, 2006 at 5:13 pm“â€I am not ‘running’ for president,” I’m betting enough of the vote-fraud equipment is still in place in 2008 for a boondoggle victory that splits what’s left of America into screaming nonentity.
“Look, Amerika is a sandwich. Every so often you need some Democratic luncheon meat and other fillings to go between slices of Rapepublican toast. Sure, the toast is NEVER elected legally — but since a sandwich is nothing without toast, you and I both know that you need to have authoritarian corporatists to rule over you, because you’re pathetic. No, I mean that, pathetic. You feel. That’s your greatest weakness.
“I’ve screwed Amerika so many times my Johnny is sore. I was Rumsfeld’s biggest political advisor, and we burned a hole in the Treasury big enough to make the Grand Canyon look like a crack in the sidewalk.
“I’m Newt Gingrich, and I approved this message: we don’t play by the rules — rules are for fools.”
November 21st, 2006 at 5:19 pmWTF? He thinks he is Thomas Jefferson or sumthin?
November 21st, 2006 at 5:38 pmSo what’s Newt got up his sleeve?
November 21st, 2006 at 5:46 pmAnother Contract on America, perhaps?
Let’s not forget that this ‘Human Muppet’
(Thanks, Stephanie Miller!)
asked his dying wife (of cancer), in the hospital, for a divorce, so he could marry his mistress.
November 21st, 2006 at 5:46 pmNewt will be greeted as a liberator. His campaign might take six days, six weeks, I doubt even six months.
/sarcasm off
November 21st, 2006 at 5:58 pmThis guy has serious delusions of grandeur.
That said, RUN NEWT RUN!
November 21st, 2006 at 6:07 pmNEWT, please DON”T DO IT!!! Please, please, please DON’T DO IT!!!
November 21st, 2006 at 6:23 pmHe’s going to run on the “Giraffe Hunters” ticket.
November 21st, 2006 at 6:30 pmIs Newt that delusional? The midterms prove that Americans don;t want polarizing right-wing lunatics in charge of anything. If his evangelical cronies want to put him in as the nominee, fine. He’ll lose – big time.
Check out this Nancy Pelosi guest blog from today.
http://polibuzz.blogspot.com/2006/11/political-buzz-exclusive-5-questions.html
Not exactly riveting stuff, but waht she talks about is promising. Love the part about nixing the subsidies of Big Oil. Sweet!
November 21st, 2006 at 6:30 pmI can see it all so clearly: The Ticket From Hell – Newt Gingrich and Ann Coulter! What a demented combo!
November 21st, 2006 at 6:40 pmI believe Newt said exactly the same thing in 2000 and 2004. Man, what a toad!
November 21st, 2006 at 7:03 pmnewt’s rantings are those of a man with a God complex.
November 21st, 2006 at 7:03 pm.
Newt is not for Newton.
November 21st, 2006 at 7:14 pmNewt just keeps on floating through space.
“Magic” may be the right word. Look at George Bush got “elected.” There was some sort of sinister dexterity at work there.
November 21st, 2006 at 7:16 pmWhere’s Harry Potter when you need him. Well we have a new contract with America or a surprise. Newt is only remembered for the lies and cheating on his wife while calling Bill Clinton everything under the sun.
November 21st, 2006 at 7:19 pmSo far only the Republican losers are coming out to be President. Look we’ve had enough of losers and idiots. No more please.
it’s his Contract On America…
November 21st, 2006 at 7:20 pmI so hope he runs. It would be sooooo much fun. For us…
November 21st, 2006 at 7:23 pm#24: Newt – a reptile that lives under rocks
Actually, I believe newts are amphibians.
November 21st, 2006 at 7:49 pmIt’s hard to type when I am laughing so hard.
November 21st, 2006 at 7:57 pmIf he thinks he will gather some kind of huge grass roots support and be swept into the Oval Office, he is beyond arrogance, and incredibly stupid.
Just watching him, with his personal background, trying to garner votes would be worth the price of admission – bring the popcorn. Let’s watch Newt twist in the wind until he coils like the snake he is.
He is a delusional egomaniac with an eye like a fly that is giving him a prism like image serious inflating his imagined support.
November 21st, 2006 at 8:03 pmNewt aint got ‘it’ bwaaaaaaaaaaa!
This is why I can’t wear watches and well thats why I am a CHI-stian of the kind that you won’t find in the bible =)
Although scared geometry was in use it was little understood.
Now look at the was djed Ankh and the sceptre they used and you begin to see what they were doing!
CHI is also called the life force. Once your able to find this within yourself you will be CHI capable. And it is also falls within the Schumann resonance frequency range. 5-50 Hz. Today the earth is at about 11hz and climbing. Your heartbeat is about 1.2 Hz
The sun is about 50 gauss [about as strong as a frigdge magnet] the Earth 100 times less. The earths magnetic field has reduced by half over the last 6000 years.
So there you have it folks. Some of us are just born that way, a curse in a way. So Jesus, not a God, but a son of man was CHI capable and naturally attuned to a higher state.
The Magnetic Poet is not crazy at all you just haven’t listened to what he says and applied it to yourself.
Peace out my friends and reflect deeply!
November 21st, 2006 at 8:18 pmIt would take a magic trick for his fat-ass to land in the White House.
Remember: The female voter always chooses looks over substance, or, at least that what they said about Shrub.
November 21st, 2006 at 8:48 pmYou honestly think that the shrub is attractive to women?
November 21st, 2006 at 8:56 pmOkay, that was funny. I just spewed liquid on my monitor. They really need to let us know when they are going to pull a funny.
November 21st, 2006 at 9:00 pmYou honestly think that the shrub is attractive to women?
Comment by glas
Ick.
30%?
November 21st, 2006 at 9:40 pmYou honestly think that the shrub is attractive to women?
Comment by glas
Ick.
– Zooey
lmao
Now THAT was funny.
November 21st, 2006 at 9:57 pmBush IS attractive to Jeff Gannon and Ted Haggard, though. You’ve got to give him that. And Josh Bolton collects photographs of Bush’s hands, so I’m guessing Josh finds Bush attractive.
November 21st, 2006 at 10:07 pmAnd Josh Bolton collects photographs of Bush’s hands, so I’m guessing Josh finds Bush attractive.
—- Bluedog49
That is really creepy.
November 21st, 2006 at 10:11 pmIck
What a joke. Gingrich was always good for a laugh.
November 21st, 2006 at 10:14 pmYou’ve got to give him that. And Josh Bolton collects photographs of Bush’s hands, so I’m guessing Josh finds Bush attractive.
Comment by Bluedog49
I forgot about that! I second Wayne’s “really creepy.”
November 21st, 2006 at 10:20 pmHe wanted to declare world war three in September but, I don’t see how that would have people running to him, unless he has some nuclear weapons stockpiled somewhere.
November 21st, 2006 at 10:29 pmMaybe Newt has a really big and comfy bomb shelter.
November 21st, 2006 at 10:38 pmThat would be a guaranteed win for whomever the Democratic Party chooses to run. Newt is a complete fraud who sounds like Kermit the frog.
November 21st, 2006 at 11:27 pmNewt Gingrich for president? Really?
The twice-cheating, thrice-married, check-bouncing ethically challenged Gingrich represents all that is wrong with Republicans today: Hipocrisy.
But at least Republicans will give up pretending they are the party of moral rectitude. Hopefully they will spare us all the sanctimony and pontification.
Of course, we will still have to deal with the stubborn 30%ers, who will claim Gingrich is a “new man”.
November 21st, 2006 at 11:48 pmJOSH WOULD FIND GEORGE W. ATTRACTIVE IF HE HAD A BIG, UGLY MOUSTACHE LIKE HIS.
When is Bolton going to shave that ugly shag carpeting under his nose? Josh, moustaches are sooooo ’70s. Shag carpeting is sooooo ’70s, too.
Newt’s a dreamer. Doesn’t he realize that the BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE rule the world? Robin Leach changed the world forever. The Reagans changed the world forever. Most people can’t make it in politics today unless they’re at least a 6. Sadly, Abe Lincoln couldn’t be elected today. Unfortunately, the world is focused on looks and Newt comes up short in the looks department.
IN FACT, NEWT COME US UP SHORT IN MANY DEPARTMENTS.
John
November 22nd, 2006 at 12:10 amActually John has the bi ugly stache Josh is the fellow with thhe hands.
November 22nd, 2006 at 8:12 amGlas,
No, John isn’t the guy who’s bi; John is the guy who’s gay. It’s not easy to come out of the closet, but I did many years ago. Closets are for clothes.
Today, a stache on a gay guy, or a straight guy for that matter, is toooo ’70s. Beards and goatees are okay. Staches–no. The Castro Street Clone look is about as much in fashion as TV evangelists having big hair and wearing bright, polyester suits.
Josh must have a hands fetish. There’s nothing wrong with that. Taking pictures of George’s hands is a bit strange, though. Many people may not have a hands’ fetish, but lots of people find other body parts attractive–legs, biceps, triceps, quads, perky breasts, and Jeff Gannon-ish parts.
I was thumbing through Doro’s book the other day–the book about her father. You know–Big daddy. I was mainly looking at the pictures. As far as I am concerned the book is pure fiction.
I was very interested to see if Doro included one word about, Jennifer Fitzgerald. She did mention her name, but she steadfastly denied rumors of an affair. No surprises there! According to Doro, Big daddy and Babs had a wuuuuuuunderful marriage. Okay! Okay, if you say so. Many people don’t say so. Remember Mary of CNN? Big daddy was hot under the collar then.
One picture of George W. Bush did catch my eye. No, it most definitely wasn’t his hands. Not at all! Not at all. Oddly enough, it’s the picture with Billy and Ruth Graham. Let’s just say George looks like he measures up in one department. I really don’t know? Maybe he was excited to see, Billy Graham. I mean really, really, really, really excited to see Billy.
Certainly Laura knows this “little” secret or “big” secret. Jeff Gannon knows. The former mayor of Chattanooga knows. This woman in Las Vegas knows. Lips’ fraternity brothers know. I didn’t know, though.
APPARENTLY, THAT’S THE ONLY DEPARTMENT GEORGE MEASURES UP IN. Maybe that’s George’s problem. His blood is probably heading south instead of going north, and his brain is being deprived of much-needed blood.
Turkey today tomorrow for the biggest turkey of them all–George W. Bush.
John
November 22nd, 2006 at 10:20 amNever seen such a short sentence reek of so much egomania before … go for it Salimander … you’re one hot little reptile.
November 22nd, 2006 at 12:09 pm