Keep up the good work!

But this barely begins to tell the tale of Washington spokes puppets. Ventriloquism was widely used in the 50’s and 60’s but in the late 70’s, Robots began to replace the spokes puppets.

Ted Koppel was the first. You knew it already but finally confirmation. His voice could only come from an electronic synthesizer. And yes that is a toupee but it doesn’t cover a baldhead, it covers a circuit board. known to only a few as The “Teddy Bore” or the “Conservatron 1980”.
But Ted was just the beginning of the spokes puppet line of robots that eventually gave way to superior technology with the strength of a thousand men.

The Attorney General Reno was one of the first of these and has been seen rearranging parked cars at the justice department by hand. The Reno had been slated as a line of Lesbian Robots that were to seize control of Florida and was programmed slightly more to the left to work with and enjoy giving and getting special massages from Hillary Clinton. The Reno was partly responsible for the Waco disaster, because a chip planted in her mercy board had been accidentally installed from the mean spirited Republitrons, a conservatron line of propagandist robots that include the Coulter and the Gingrich.

Many in Washington always wondered why George Will never touched his meal at political luncheons but often saw a hand coming up from under the table. That was George Stephanopoulos who originally came to Washington as a street mime and puppeteer before being drafted into a top-secret program to create inhuman spokes people who would play both sides of the fence distracting millions of Americans. Meanwhile behind the scenes, America was being dismantled piece by piece.

Koppel’s hair alone cost 6 billion dollars since it was designed to reprocess martinis into water proof and bullet proof hair guard…An acrylic like substance that helps to keep the circuit board dry.

In recent years the wooden George Will has been converted to alloy and revamped to free up George Stephanopoulos’s arm. The “Will” who can now walk on its own and is programmed to attack any sign of emotion from the people around him still has many bugs. Stephanopoulos had to be trained at MIT to change George’s circuit board every 3 days and had to start lifting weights to be able to remove the 300-pound bulletproof hair guard. They plan to phase George Will out around the year 2060 but until then, they are confident that his hair will protect the circuit board for another 50 years.

By then The Republitron Cyborgs, which are designed to eat liberals and create petroleum by product that is 10 times more toxic then oil, will be firmly in place. The Slick Willie Charmatron 1992 is of course Bill Clinton who is the only one of it’s kind. Designed to charm the world. However, the system had a few bugs. They had hoped to create a robot that could have sex unlike the Bob Dole conservatrons of old but something went wrong.
The “Willie”, they hoped would be able to charm anyone, anybody and anything into the sack where his recorder would relay all pillow talk to the CIA. However, the learning chip, which is designed to make a robot or computer get smarter with each experience, got stuck in the hump mode. The Willie has reportedly bedded down everyone from Ann Coulter to Mikhail Gorbachev.

Coulter who was designed to hold a grudge felt spurned when The Willie wouldn’t leave the Hillary. Hillary is not a robot by the way and is believed to be a genetic experiment that combined the DNA of the modern woman with a rooster.