Think Progress

The Rev. Ted Haggard

By Nico Pitney on Feb 6th, 2007 at 11:18 am

The Rev. Ted Haggard»

“emerged from three weeks of intensive counseling convinced he is ‘completely heterosexual‘ and told an oversight board that his sexual contact with men was limited to his accuser.”




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149 Responses to “The Rev. Ted Haggard”

  1. Zooey Says:

    He must giggled when he saw a boobie. Cured!

    Oy.


  2. NW Says:

    Praise Jesus! Ted is cured! (What are the odds that another of his lovers will come out and expose his lies?)


  3. veritas Says:

    ahahahahahahahahahaha! What a joke!


  4. NW Says:

    Praise Jesus! He’s cured!


  5. veritas Says:

    Taggert The Target now!


  6. veritas Says:

    I believe this qualifies as a “modern day miracle”! Wowie!


  7. bluefish Says:

    Intensive counciling? I wonder if they waterboarded the homesexuality right out of him.


  8. Art Says:

    I guess that makes him qualified to be a minister.


  9. JJ Says:

    I live in Colorado Springs–and it is a joke here!


  10. helenahandbasket Says:

    Liar, liar, pants on fire . . .


  11. Zimzone Says:

    Remember, folks,
    These are the 17-28% that back Bush no matter what, where or how.


  12. wags Says:

    you can’t cure ugly.


  13. Fools on the Hill Says:

    All that was needed was exorcism to remove the evil spirits. He will not sin again unless the evil spirits return.


  14. Jim Faith Says:

    I don’t understand. james dobson declined to participate in haggard’s de-programming because it was going to take 3-5 years of intensive counseling, and he (dobson) didn’t have the time. Now, 3 weeks later, there’s a miracle cure.


  15. Kay Says:

    and Bush just emerged from 3 weeks of intensive counseling convinced he has a Brain.

    and Cheney just emerged from 3 week of intensive counseliing convinced he has a Heart


  16. buzzbomb Says:

    As if it is a disease to be “cured” Whatever Teddy.


  17. tom baker Says:

    Yeah, right.


  18. VerbalKint Says:

    I will be curious to see how many of Haggard’s flock return to him after this little song and dance. It will be a basic IQ test for them.


  19. ForTruth Says:

    Teddy will be back in Church delivering the word of the Lord in no time, nuthin’ ever happened.


  20. margaret Says:

    How sad.


  21. Liberal in New Mexico Says:

    If he really wants to be “cured”, wouldn’t it be a whole lot easier to get himself castrated? He could make some money for the church and sell his testicles to Joe Lieberman, since Joe doesn’t have any of his own.


  22. Joe Sixpack Says:

    The power of prayer never ceases to amaze me.

    Amen.


  23. Technodaoist Says:

    Wow.

    Therapy does NOT work like that.

    Denial DOES.


  24. Raven Says:

    Denver Post article says Ted and his wife are going to pursue on-line Masters degrees in psychology….


  25. ForTruth Says:

    Very good 12-step program there PLC.


  26. Zimzone Says:

    Actually, Ted the Head is spending some time with Mark Foley.
    They’re comparing notes to see if they can improve pick up routines.

    See, Rehab will take 3 years, but new pickup lines can be worked out in about 3 weeks.

    They already tried them on Hasturd, & whaddya know, it got a rise out of big Denny!

    Tune in next week to catch up on ‘As the Turd Turns’.


  27. hellinabucket Says:

    completely hetero. Is this possible? If his homosexual behavior is part of his collective past and the past is a collection of what makes us who we are how can he be completely hetero? Did they cut that part out of him? Wouldn’t be more accurate to say he’s currently heterosexual with homosexual tendancies in the rear view mirror?

    Good for him or shame on him depending on the truth. If his “demons” had led him to engage with another consenting adult and he truly believes he was wrong and he has seen the error of his ways then good for him. If he engaged in consensual sex with another male and truly believed nothing was wrong with it and now is attempting to say otherwise then shame on him.

    It’s a shame that this is a topic other than he is a hypocrite and he is so close to the inner circle of GW.


  28. Raven Says:

    So… Daryll…. what do you think of this developement?


  29. s Says:

    Ted!!!! Welcome back to the land of truthiness!!!!

    Praise the Lord!!!!!!!


  30. Karim Says:

    Let’s see how long the cure lasts shall we?


  31. Mikey Says:

    “It’s a shame that this is a topic other than he is a hypocrite and he is so close to the inner circle of GW”

    Hypocrisy is far too common in these right wing religious nut jobs.


  32. QUALAR Says:

    Halefoolya! Halefoolya! His problem cannot be cured by beating a pillow with a stick for three weeks. Where’s my Jimmy Swaggart moment. What a kick that was.


  33. Rebel In CA Says:

    HEY TP:

    Where is the video clip[ from last night’s O’Reily where he declared he was gay?


  34. Bluedog49 Says:

    Hey, according to a couple biographies, they sent George Bush to one of these christian gay-treatment camps and it worked on him, right?


  35. WaltTheMan Says:

    Ted can move to Phoenix where those two geezers are missing their pseudo ‘12 year-old’ nephew and grandson.


  36. And You Thought REAGAN Was Stupid Says:

    The power of prayer never ceases to amaze me.

    Amen.

    Comment by Joe Sixpack — February 6, 2007 @ 12:06 pm

    Ain’t that the truth? Absolutely amazing. In November, I prayed that the corrupt Republicans would be run out of Congress and control would return to those who truly care about our fellow men. Hallelujah!


  37. Friar Mynd Says:

    Reverend Ted “convinced” he is completely heterosexual….
    Believable, in that:
    If he can be convinced an enlightened anti-totalitarian revolutionary who was executed 2,000 years ago is coming back to take him away to la-la land, he can be convinced of anything…..


  38. Daryll Says:

    See libs, people do change for the better. How about all homosexuals giving their lives to Christ, and turning from their wicked ways. That would be such a blessed moment.


  39. Jackie Rawlings Says:

    Well now it’s back to the preaching work and getting that money for the next mistake. We’re seen this before were a Pastor has an affair gets healed gets money and does it again. The Pastors are making a joke of God and watering down faith. Everyone knows Satan is at work. Now we are to believe prayer can heal a person from being gay try it on Cheney’s daughter. Bush hears the so call voice of God as it’s really Satan talking to him. Fingers Foley is smiling while sexual molesting kids. Hastert is smiling while keeping the secret. Where the hell is Porter Goss after he was caught having sex with males. Bush is sleeping with Connie Rice while preaching the family values and morals. The list goes on. Let’s just call the Pastors and Church a business and be done with it. God has nothing to done with either one.


  40. And You Thought REAGAN Was Stupid Says:

    #46: Or, what if Conservatives began following the teachings of Jesus and gave aid to the poor?


  41. Daryll Says:

    Praise, Jesus -he’s cured… until next time.
    A man of God, my ass. It’s more like: My god, look at that ass.

    Comment by Liberal in New Mexico — February 6, 2007 @ 11:38 am

    I’m guessing that you love to mock God’s children. Be careful because the bible says, “Touch not my anointed, do my prophets no harm”. It’s a dangerous thing to mock/attack God’s children.


  42. ForTruth Says:

    Daryll,

    Ted Haggard still prefers to be a rump-ridin’ ranger. Once a rump-ridin’ ranger, always a rump-ridin’ ranger. Capice?


  43. Daryll Says:

    Or, what if Conservatives began following the teachings of Jesus and gave aid to the poor?
    Comment by And You Thought REAGAN Was Stupid — February 6, 2007 @ 12:39 pm

    That’s a myth created by Democrats. We do give to the poor and create programs for the underprivileged people. Didn’t Bush sign a bill to increase the value of educational grants for low income students?


  44. Friar Mynd Says:

    Daryll, are you saying it’s OK for the “prophets and anointeds” to do the touching, and causing the harm?


  45. Evil Spaniard Says:

    The snake oil worked on him.


  46. Raven Says:

    Yes, Daryll, Dubious did sign such, however the funding wasn’t in his proposed budget…
    as usual…..


  47. Parrotlover77 Says:

    He’s as “not gay” as you can get when your pocketbook relies on you not being gay.

    I smell a book deal coming…


  48. Hetero Ted Says:

    Rupture me NOW Daryll, ooohhhhhhhhhh!


  49. veritas Says:

    Praise Jesus and Pass me another male prostitute, please!


  50. veritas Says:

    Just look closely at Taggert’s official “glamor shots” and ask your gut if he’s gay?? Does a bear shite in the woods?


  51. Democrat Soldier Says:

    #51 - “Didn’t Bush sign a bill to increase the value of educational grants for low income students?” Comment by Daryll — February 6, 2007 @ 12:46 pm

    He signed it, then REDUCED the funding for it. That’s his way of “being for it before he was against it”.

    It’s not a myth when it’s true.


  52. veritas Says:

    The sheer power of prayer and a few male prosititutes in the Center become Taggert’s miracle cure!


  53. IraqVet Says:

    Poof!!! You’re fixed!!!


  54. Daryll Says:

    Rupture me NOW Daryll, ooohhhhhhhhhh!

    Comment by Hetero Ted — February 6, 2007 @ 12:52 pm

    You’ll answer to Jesus at the White Throne of Judgement. Why do think Global Warming is progressing? This is not a man-made situation, Jesus created the earth for temporary use. Therefore, follow Acts 2:38 or expect damnation.


  55. Democrat Soldier Says:

    #62 - The only way Haggard could be “fixed” is if he got them chopped off!

    He’s about as “straight” as Pres. Bush is honest!


  56. Daryll Says:

    Joke about the situation liberals, but ask yourself these questions. Have I sought redemption for homosexuality or other sins? If I haven’t, when I die, will I go to heaven or hell? Am I ready for the rapture? Am I supporting liberalism (Jesus had conservative views)?


  57. Technodaoist Says:

    The Rapture is a Myth created to explain what happened during a plot hole in Revelation.

    Read it yourself. The word Rapture is never used.

    Ted Haggard was and is a liar. God forgives him. I forgive him. That does not make him a good or trustworthy person. That doesn’t mean I have to listen to his bullshiznit and take it as The Truth.

    Take your own advice Daryll - tend to your own soul. We’ll do fine.


  58. Democrat Soldier Says:

    Daryll, why don’t you read Jeremiah 14:13.

    You might realize that maybe, just maybe, you’re not always 100% right!

    Wow, there’s a concept! A human who admits they’re not perfect and could possibly be wrong!


  59. Daryll Says:

    #62 - The only way Haggard could be “fixed” is if he got them chopped off!

    He’s about as “straight” as Pres. Bush is honest!

    Comment by Democrat Soldier — February 6, 2007 @ 1:04 pm

    Because I have trust in God, I would pray with Pastor Haggard any day. The bible says if there are two or more of his children in the midst, that he would show himself (the anointing).


  60. LarrytheCableGuy Says:

    Joke about the situation liberals, but ask yourself these questions. Have I sought redemption for homosexuality or other sins? If I haven’t, when I die, will I go to heaven or hell? Am I ready for the rapture? Am I supporting liberalism (Jesus had conservative views)?

    Comment by Daryll — February 6, 2007 @ 1:06 pm

    Don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there.


  61. Democrat Soldier Says:

    #66 - Jesus was so very much NOT a conservative!

    If you want to continue believing in lies, Daryll, do NOT visit this site:
    http://www.jesusisaliberal.org/

    If you want to remove the beam from your eye before you start pointing out the splinters in everyone else’s eyes, then read about how Jesus supported everything that Liberals and Progressives stand for: “compassion, equality, inclusion, forgiveness, tolerance, peace and - most importantly - love.”


  62. Technodaoist Says:

    Daryll - you idjit…

    If Jesus was conservative he would have worshipped at the temple of Jupiter.

    You don’t know God’s plan. Nobody does. Stop acting self-righteous, arrogant, and ignorant…

    You might actually be able to forgive your fellow man of his liberal views instead of persecuting them.


  63. Democrat Soldier Says:

    #69 - I would be very carful if Haggard asked you to bend your knees with him. He might have different ideas about how to “pray” than you do, considering his past.

    The Bible also says: If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
    - 1 John 4:20

    Why is it that it’s the conservatives that hate so much more than liberals and progressives? Maybe they don’t read the Bible as much as they claim?


  64. Quadrajet Says:

    Joke about the situation liberals, but ask yourself these questions. Have I sought redemption for homosexuality or other sins?
    Comment by Daryll — February 6, 2007 @ 1:06 pm

    I don’t know if you have or not Daryll, but if you have were you cured as quickly as Haggard, ’cause that was fast man.


  65. Daryll Says:

    #66 - Jesus was so very much NOT a conservative!

    If you want to continue believing in lies, Daryll, do NOT visit this site:
    http://www.jesusisaliberal.org/

    If you want to remove the beam from your eye before you start pointing out the splinters in everyone else’s eyes, then read about how Jesus supported everything that Liberals and Progressives stand for: “compassion, equality, inclusion, forgiveness, tolerance, peace and - most importantly - love.”

    Comment by Democrat Soldier — February 6, 2007 @ 1:12 pm

    My friend, Jesus didn’t support sin. As a matter of fact, sin angered the Lord. Your party loves to incorporate sin in to all facets of our society. The true Republicans are trying to restore morals, values and ethics. How about joining us to complete this mission?


  66. Daryll Says:

    #69 - I would be very carful if Haggard asked you to bend your knees with him. He might have different ideas about how to “pray” than you do, considering his past.

    The Bible also says: If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
    - 1 John 4:20

    Why is it that it’s the conservatives that hate so much more than liberals and progressives? Maybe they don’t read the Bible as much as they claim?

    Comment by Democrat Soldier — February 6, 2007 @ 1:15 pm

    First, I trust Pastor Haggard. He made a mistake, repented and sought redemption. I would let him pray with me any day. Second, Conservatives don’t hate liberals. We’re just trying to reverse your plan by instilling biblical standards into our society.


  67. TerrytheTurtle Says:

    Let’s put: Mark Foley in charge of the morals crusade, Newt Gingrich and Duke Cunnigham on values and Tom Delay and Jack Abramoff in charge of ethics. That’s an A team right there St Darryl. You are such a sanctimonious gobsh*te.


  68. Democrat Soldier Says:

    #76 - “The true Republicans are trying to restore morals, values and ethics.”

    Let me guess, the “morals” of being able to lie and not be held responsible for it?

    How about lying about your past actions, like all Republicans have done?

    Or how about the culture of corruption that the Republicans have engendered since 1994? Are you talking about that type of ethics?

    My friend, you have a skewed idea of what ethics and morals mean if you continue to fall for the lies of the Republican party.

    “How about joining us to complete this mission?” Comment by Daryll — February 6, 2007 @ 1:17 pm

    You’re not going to ask me to pray with you, are you? Since you’re so proud of Haggard, I’m afraid you might have something else in mind as we bend out knees.


  69. Bluedog49 Says:

    Daryll: “It’s a dangerous thing to mock/attack God’s children.”

    “It’s a dangerous thing to mock/attack God’s children.”

    “You’ll answer to Jesus at the White Throne of Judgement.”

    Ah, yes, the modern christian’s most important tool: fear.

    Daryll, since you seem to be of the opinion that Jesus was a “conservative,” I humbly suggest you re-read the Book of Matthew.


  70. And You Thought REAGAN Was Stupid Says:

    Daryll: Jesus had Conservative views? Ha! You must read a different Bible. You should go back to second grade Bible study and start over if you believe that.


  71. TripMaster Monkey Says:

    Daryll sez:

    Your party loves to incorporate sin in to all facets of our society. The true Republicans are trying to restore morals, values and ethics. How about joining us to complete this mission?

    Oh, yes, Daryll…tell us all all about the vaunted Republican Moral Values, won’t you?

    Let me know when you’ve managed to dislodge that lumber from your eye.


  72. Daryll's brother Darell Says:

    The true Republicans are trying to restore morals, values and ethics. How about joining us to complete this mission?
    Comment by Daryll

    I agree bro,;these heathens will never learn.
    P.S. Whose turn is it to bring the duck to bible study.


  73. Quadrajet Says:

    We’re just trying to reverse your plan by instilling biblical standards into our society.
    Comment by Daryll — February 6, 2007 @ 1:22 pm

    Which bible will you be pulling those standards from Daryll? Afterall, there’s how many versions of it? And what about the Jews, Muslims, Budists, Moonies, Pastafarians, etc - what should we do when they’d like their standards ‘instilled’ in our society?


  74. Bluedog49 Says:

    Daryll: “We’re just trying to reverse your plan by instilling biblical standards into our society.”

    Careful, Daryll. If we start stoning adulterers, you won’t have many candidates left. And, if we start turning the other cheek, you won’t even have any issues left.


  75. Daryll Says:

    #76 - “The true Republicans are trying to restore morals, values and ethics.”

    Let me guess, the “morals” of being able to lie and not be held responsible for it?

    How about lying about your past actions, like all Republicans have done?

    Or how about the culture of corruption that the Republicans have engendered since 1994? Are you talking about that type of ethics?

    My friend, you have a skewed idea of what ethics and morals mean if you continue to fall for the lies of the Republican party.

    “How about joining us to complete this mission?” Comment by Daryll — February 6, 2007 @ 1:17 pm

    You’re not going to ask me to pray with you, are you? Since you’re so proud of Haggard, I’m afraid you might have something else in mind as we bend out knees.

    Comment by Democrat Soldier — February 6, 2007 @ 1:25 pm

    Are you for homosexuality, embryonic stem cell research, illegal immigration, over-taxing people that worked hard and trusted the lord to receive wealth? If you are, you’re for sin. These are all sinful ways (homosexuality, killing, lying, cheating, stealing, persecuting).


  76. Daryll Says:

    The true Republicans are trying to restore morals, values and ethics. How about joining us to complete this mission?
    Comment by Daryll

    I agree bro,;these heathens will never learn.
    P.S. Whose turn is it to bring the duck to bible study.

    Comment by Daryll’s brother Darell — February 6, 2007 @ 1:28 pm

    Hell is real.


  77. ForTruth Says:

    Are you for homosexuality, embryonic stem cell research, illegal immigration, over-taxing people that worked hard and trusted the lord to receive wealth? If you are, you’re for sin. These are all sinful ways (homosexuality, killing, lying, cheating, stealing, persecuting).

    Comment by Daryll

    You are decribing elements of both parties. Thats why we could sit here all day and debate with solid facts and research. It’s called the human condition, all of us humans are succeptable to it, except Daryll of course.


  78. Daryll Says:

    We’re just trying to reverse your plan by instilling biblical standards into our society.
    Comment by Daryll — February 6, 2007 @ 1:22 pm

    Which bible will you be pulling those standards from Daryll? Afterall, there’s how many versions of it? And what about the Jews, Muslims, Budists, Moonies, Pastafarians, etc - what should we do when they’d like their standards ‘instilled’ in our society?

    Comment by Quadrajet — February 6, 2007 @ 1:29 pm

    Their standards are irrelevant to true biblical standards. God’s laws are in the bible, not in any other book. Their religions were created by man and have no substance at all.


  79. Bluedog49 Says:

    Daryll: “Hell is real.”

    How do you know?


  80. Quadrajet Says:

    Their religions were created by man and have no substance at all.
    Comment by Daryll — February 6, 2007 @ 1:39 pm

    But they say the same thing about your religion Daryll, who should I believe? Of course they don’t have the added burden of overcoming your lack of credibility, you know - that whole serving in the ‘peace time’ military from ‘02 to ‘04 when you became bored and ‘resigned’ thing, ‘before the mission was completed’ I might add.


  81. Raven Says:

    All religion is created by man.


  82. Democrat Soldier Says:

    #75 - Are you for rich people keeping their money while poor people die from lack of health care and food? If you are, then you are FOR SIN! - Matthew 19:24

    If you are against paying your fair share of taxes, then you are FOR SIN! - Luke 20:25

    If you think the Bible is anti-abortion, you’re not reading the whole Bible. Exodus 21:22

    If you support the death penalty, you are FOR SIN! - Exodus 20:13

    I think, Daryll, that you have not been reading the entire Bible.

    You seem glad to pick and choose the verses of the Bible that you want to follow and completely ignore the parts of the Bible that don’t support your opinions.


  83. Barfly Says:

    Second, Conservatives don’t hate liberals. We’re just trying to reverse your plan by instilling biblical standards into our society.

    Comment by Daryll

    Are you thinking of bringing back witch-burning and slavery? Both are endorsed by the bible - and the bible-thumpers.


  84. Democrat Soldier Says:

    #80 - “Daryll: “Hell is real.”

    How do you know?” Comment by Bluedog49 — February 6, 2007 @ 1:39 pm

    Daryll is working to create “hell on earth” by only supporting SOME of the verses of the Bible, while eschewing those verses that do not support his biases.

    Daryll is a “self blinded” Chirstian, the type that only supports verses of the Bible that fit into his narrow interpretation of how God is supposed to act. Anything that doesn’t support his biased view is not to be considered at all.


  85. Bluedog49 Says:

    Daryll: “Their religions were created by man and have no substance at all.”

    Daryll, does the Council of Nicea ring a bell? Just wondering, because for a christian, you sure don’t seem to know much about christianity. Come to think of it, maybe that’s the idea. Tell you what. Why don’t you ask your pastor about the Council of Nicea and whether or not god had a seat at the table.


  86. Daryll Says:

    You are decribing elements of both parties. Thats why we could sit here all day and debate with solid facts and research. It’s called the human condition, all of us humans are succeptable to it, except Daryll of course.

    Comment by ForTruth — February 6, 2007 @ 1:36 pm

    No, no, no, Republican don’t believe in murder for any cause. Were against illegal immigration.


  87. Earthling Says:

    Here we go again. The latent homosexual Daryll sayeth:

    See libs, people do change for the better. How about all homosexuals giving their lives to Christ, and turning from their wicked ways. That would be such a blessed moment. Comment by Daryll - February 6, 2007 @ 12:37 pm

    It would be a blessed moment, dear sweet latent homosexual Daryll, if people like you minded their own business and live and let live. Why don’t you give it a try? It would be a change for the better, and you seem to believe people change for the better, even liars like Haggard. No THAT would be a blessed moment.

    I’m guessing that you love to mock God’s children. Be careful because the bible says, “Touch not my anointed, do my prophets no harm”. It’s a dangerous thing to mock/attack God’s children. Comment by Daryll - February 6, 2007 @ 12:41 pm

    Yet, sweety, you mock God’s children every time there is a post about gay people. You’d better watch out ’cause God is gonna getcha!

    The bible says we must forgive and refrain from dwelling on the past. You have sin as well. Make sure your soul is redeemed before the rapture. Comment by Daryll - February 6, 2007 @ 12:48 pm

    The one in need of redemption, darling Daryll, is you. Get to work redeeming yourself by loving ALL of God’s children, not just the heterosexual ones.

    You’ll answer to Jesus at the White Throne of Judgement. Why do think Global Warming is progressing? This is not a man-made situation, Jesus created the earth for temporary use. Therefore, follow Acts 2:38 or expect damnation. Comment by Daryll - February 6, 2007 @ 1:02 pm

    Thanks for confirming you’re insane. If there’s going to be any answering at the “white throne of judgment” (huh?), then I think it will be your kind doing the answering. Jesus created the earth? Huh? I thought you fools believed God created the earth. Oh by the way, expect damnation, ’cause it’s gonna getcha!

    Joke about the situation liberals, but ask yourself these questions. Have I sought redemption for homosexuality or other sins? If I haven’t, when I die, will I go to heaven or hell? Am I ready for the rapture? Am I supporting liberalism (Jesus had conservative views)? Comment by Daryll - February 6, 2007 @ 1:06 pm

    Daryll, again, my dear latent homosexual, homosexuality is not a sin. It’s a fact of life. As far as heaven and hell are concerned, I think you know where your kind will be going, and it ain’t heaven.

    Because I have trust in God, I would pray with Pastor Haggard any day. The bible says if there are two or more of his children in the midst, that he would show himself (the anointing). Comment by Daryll - February 6, 2007 @ 1:08 pm

    Yeah, you’re “praying” with Haggard. You may be on your knees but you ain’t praying.

    My friend, Jesus didn’t support sin. As a matter of fact, sin angered the Lord. Your party loves to incorporate sin in to all facets of our society. The true Republicans are trying to restore morals, values and ethics. How about joining us to complete this mission? Comment by Daryll - February 6, 2007 @ 1:17 pm

    I can’t believe you were even able to type that paragraph with a straight face. Right, true republicans are trying to restore morals, values and ethics. There isn’t room enough on these pages to print the truth about true republicans. Suffice to say, morals values and ethics are the least of their concerns. What’s laughable is you know that, yet you still come here and try to spew your lies. What in world would god and jesus think of Daryll the liar? Hell will be your destination, sweety.

    First, I trust Pastor Haggard. He made a mistake, repented and sought redemption. I would let him pray with me any day. Second, Conservatives don’t hate liberals. We’re just trying to reverse your plan by instilling biblical standards into our society. Comment by Daryll - February 6, 2007 @ 1:22 pm

    In sum, Daryll, you and your ilk are a danger to the United States and you must be stopped. Instilling biblical standards into our society? Whose standards? Yours? Get real. You are a traitor to the United States.


  88. Bluedog49 Says:

    Democrat Soldier: “You seem glad to pick and choose the verses of the Bible that you want to follow and completely ignore the parts of the Bible that don’t support your opinions.”

    Hey, selectively choosing verse from the Koran works for Islamicists.


  89. Daryll Says:

    Second, Conservatives don’t hate liberals. We’re just trying to reverse your plan by instilling biblical standards into our society.

    Comment by Daryll

    Are you thinking of bringing back witch-burning and slavery? Both are endorsed by the bible - and the bible-thumpers.

    Comment by Barfly — February 6, 2007 @ 1:47 pm

    Think logically, we won’t incorporate the New Testatment as well as some of the Old Testament.


  90. Bill from Dover Says:

    This guy redefines the term nut job.


  91. Gregor Samsa Says:

    Daryll’s god sounds oh so strangely Republican.

    “Over-taxing people that worked hard and trusted the lord to receive wealth”

    What’s that claptrap supposed to mean? I thought there was a rule that says that people should give to Caesar what’s Caesar’s -that would be taxes.


  92. Democrat Soldier Says:

    #90 - “we won’t incorporate the New Testatment as well as some of the Old Testament.” Comment by Daryll — February 6, 2007 @ 1:54 pm

    See! Daryll admits that he doesn’t follow the WHOLE Bible, but only the portions that support his biases!

    Why is it that you only support PART of the Bible, Daryll?
    What makes you decide in favor or against a verse of the Bible?

    Let me guess:
    If you hate something, you look for Biblical suport for your hate.
    If you like something, you ignore any Biblical verse that doesn’t support you.


  93. RUCerious Says:

    Tell em what they wanna hear Mr. Taggart. Had enough beans, boys?


  94. Gregor Samsa Says:

    Think logically, we won’t incorporate the New Testatment as well as some of the Old Testament.
    Comment by Daryll — February 6, 2007 @ 1:54 pm

    Pray tell, who will make this determination? How would that person know what is incorporated and what isn’t?

    And if you feel free to pick and choose, that means you don’t really think the Bible is the inerrant word of god…


  95. Quadrajet Says:

    Gregor, I believe it also says something in there about a rich man, a camel and a needle, but I guess those things aren’t in Daryll’s version. I’m still waiting for him to tell us what version of the book we’ll be using to create our new theocracy.


  96. Raven Says:

    Take heart, Daryll…… fortunately for you, there’s Re-incarnation!
    Yes you, and everyone else, has as many chances as it takes to finally get it right!
    Now that’s what I call grace!


  97. big papa Says:

    Does this mean that Reverend Ted…

    …will no longer be attending…

    …the Bush/Gannon White House sleepovers?

    …Lynne’s gonna be crushed…

    …that she can’t try that new strap on, on Ted’s main squeeze…

    …she DID stand by him, didn’t she?


  98. Democrat Soldier Says:

    #92 - Gregor, the verse you are looking for is Luke 20:25.

    Jesus was the one who said: “Render therefore unto Caesar the thins which be Caesar’s…”

    I guess that’s one of the verses that Daryll doens’t quite want to admit applies to him.

    “Just because Jesus said it doesn’t mean Jesus MEANT it!” - typical sentiment when Christians ignore parts of the Bible they don’t like.


  99. Quadrajet Says:

    Wow Daryll, this is getting complicated! Trying to figure out what part of which book and which version we’ll be using - sounds like we’ll need to set up some kinda summit meeting, you know, kind of a Council of Nicea II


  100. Barfly Says:

    The ones I feel for are his kids. Although Darrel puts on a good show, we all know how his fellow christians will be making a big show of being accepting of Haggard — while they take steps to limit Haggard’s access to their children. Haggard’s kids will have the roughest time of it.


  101. RUCerious Says:

    Think logically, we won’t incorporate the New Testatment as well as some of the Old Testament.
    Comment by Daryll — February 6, 2007 @ 1:54 pm

    So lemme see if I follow here, somebody’s a gonna decide which parts of the new and or old testament to incorporate or not incorporate into something?> Whaaat?


  102. RUCerious Says:

    Daryll? Hello? art thou there?
    Did he mayhaps run screaming from the building?


  103. Barfly Says:

    Jesus was the one who said: “Render therefore unto Caesar the thins which be Caesar’s…”

    I guess that’s one of the verses that Daryll doens’t quite want to admit applies to him.

    I’ve got a relative like that; a successful fast-food franchisee, who gives generously to friends, relatives, and acquaintances, but tries to stiff Uncle any way he can.


  104. TripMaster Monkey Says:

    Quadrajet, the verse you are looking for is Matthew 19:24:

    “Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

    Funny how Repukes like Daryll profess endless faith and absolute knowledge of their God and what He wants, but consistently forget Matthew, Chapter 19.


  105. Daryll Says:

    Yet, sweety, you mock God’s children every time there is a post about gay people. You’d better watch out ’cause God is gonna getcha!

    Sinners aren’t considered God’s children. If you have not followed Acts 2:38 and aren’t following God’s standards then you are a child of the devil.


  106. Barfly Says:

    Did he mayhaps run screaming from the building?

    Oprah must be on. Darrell likes to scourge himself while watching her; it’s like, double the pennance.


  107. powkat Says:

    Is Daryll real? I’ve never met some one who believes in the Rapture - so my question is: Who folds the clothes? Does an angel do it, or do you have to do it yourself? Does neatness count in heaven? Oh, and can I have your car?


  108. Earthling Says:

    Daryll doesn’t like having his latent homosexuality pointed out to him. Daryll also doesn’t like having his baseless arguments, each and every one riddled with holes, blasted by logic. Daryll just wants to come here to try to prove he’s straight. Daryll, darling, the definition of insanity is trying something over and over again and hoping for a different result. Quit trying to prove you’re straight. The more you try to prove your heterosexuality, the more the world will know you are homosexual instead. Just like your dear friend Haggard. You’re a joke Daryll. A bad joke. No one’s laughing. Go away.


  109. TerrytheTurtle Says:

    Sinners aren’t considered God’s children. If you have not followed Acts 2:38 and aren’t following God’s standards then you are a child of the devil.

    Comment by Daryll — February 6, 2007 @ 2:15 pm

    I think we’ve got you outnumbered, St Darryl


  110. Quadrajet Says:

    Did he mayhaps run screaming from the building?
    Comment by RUCerious — February 6, 2007 @ 2:10 pm

    Given his level of insanity, I think it’s more likely he’s screaming at the building…..


  111. RUCerious Says:

    Daryll’s covert mission is to save our soles.
    So Daryll, do something about the overfishing off the New England coast, or support your local shoe repairman.
    Oh, not that kind of sole?
    Never mind.


  112. Gregor Samsa Says:

    Quadrajet,

    Funny how the passages about compassion do not apply to Christians like Daryll -that is, until they need them.

    Democrat Soldier,

    I like your biblical disclaimer: “Just because Jesus said it , doesn’t mean he actually meant it!”. Priceless.


  113. Democrat Soldier Says:

    #110 - Well, peanut, I was baptized when I was 9 years of age, when I accepted Jesus.

    Now that I’ve grown up and investigated the Bible and the contradictions and mistakes within the Bible, I have a much more honest relationship with God and my faith.

    The difference is that I don’t claim to follow every verse, especially the ones that support slavery or killing innocent children or treating women like property.

    Now, why haven’t you supported your insistence about ignoring parts of the BIble? Or are you afraid to admit that you only support the parts of the Bible that fit with your biases?


  114. Quadrajet Says:

    No one’s laughing.
    Comment by Earthling — February 6, 2007 @ 2:19 pm

    Well, almost no one……sometimes it’s a little hard not too with this guy.


  115. Democrat Soldier Says:

    #110 - “Sinners aren’t considered God’s children” Comment by Daryll — February 6, 2007 @ 2:15 pm

    Oh, I see. I guess that you’re completely ignoring Colossians 1:16.

    Yet another example that Daryll only considers PART of the Bible to be the Bible.


  116. Democrat Soldier Says:

    #120 - “Well, almost no one (is laughing)……sometimes it’s a little hard not too with this guy.” Comment by Quadrajet — February 6, 2007 @ 2:28 pm

    Very true!

    Especially when Mr. Daryll is not quite as familiar with the Bible that he claims to support!

    I guess when Daryll ignores the portions of the Bible that don’t support his point of view, he opens himself up criticism.


  117. Democrat Soldier Says:

    Oh, crap! Looks like the Deleting Fairy has been to this post! All the numbers are off again!


  118. gnois Says:

    Comment by TripMaster Monkey — February 6, 2007 @ 2:13 pm

    “Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

    Matthew 19:24:

    Literal interpetation of the bible which in most cases in a compilation of the old and new testament gospels, all of which were chosen at the Council of Nicea and became the foundation for what we refer to as the Bible.

    The “Eye of the Needle” referred to in Matthew 19:24, was what they called the main entrance to the city of Jeruslam. There were and are many references to the entrance in the bible and in text discovered from that era.

    Entering the city through the eye of the needle was actually pretty easy. In fact, you could pretty much take it for granted that you could get not only yourself, but your entire family complete with a caravan of camels, through the eye.

    Perspective and context.


  119. gnois Says:

    Keep in mind too that Jesus had one hell of a time getting into the city. Jeruslam was huge and during passover every room was booked and the city was filled and overfilled with merchants and visitors from all over the middle east and well, Utah.

    Hence, Jesus (who had a heck of a sense of humor) and loved to speak in parables, often used symbols or references from the day, when speaking to the masses, most of which were literally, uneducated and simple. Much like our friend, Darryl. In many cases he would paint pictures with language and laughed often when even his most ardent supporters (the disciples) got confused.

    Love the guy and the last thing that he would be doing today is advocate or preach that someday he would return resplendant on a white horse. Maybe a Benz, definitely not a horse.


  120. DRxJ Says:

    The Rev. Ted Haggard
    “emerged from three weeks of intensive counseling convinced he is ‘completely heterosexual‘

    He’s convinced that he is now completely heterosexual? Well that’s good that he’s convinced, because no one else is.
    By the by, Teddy boy, you’ll never be completely hetero because, in your past, you’ve buggered another man! I’m convinced that you are 100% bisexual.

    told an oversight board that his sexual contact with men was limited to his accuser.

    and here, my friends, is the ultimate freudian slip. men (plural) vs accuser (singular). Whoops!
    Next time, just tell the board that you’ve done the bumbity bump with only one man.

    Saint Daryll: I love you man! (Not the bumbity bump love, but the “you crack me up with your satirical posts” love)


  121. Gregor Samsa Says:

    Perspective and context.
    Comment by gnois — February 6, 2007 @ 2:39 pm

    Then you may want to direct your comments at our friend Daryll, who is obviously in need of help when it comes to perspective and context.

    “Perspective and context” is what the rest of us are arguing for.


  122. ForTruth Says:

    No, no, no, Republican don’t believe in murder for any cause. Were against illegal immigration.

    Comment by Daryll

    WTF? Daryll, ehem, that little war thingy, you know I-RACK!

    Any killing going on over there, I have it on pretty good authority that yes, there is killing going on, by our own administration. I guess I heard wrong that they are Republicans?


  123. ForTruth Says:

    Daryll,

    Saying that Republicans don’t kill certainly qualifys you for moron-status. You are a moron.


  124. BikeR Says:

    Wow, Darryl… You sound really haggard.

    Can you help a fellow child out? You seem to be an expert, with your Jesus-is-a-conservative wisdom and all.

    What parts of the bible are literal and what parts can I ignore?

    I can never keep up with relig-o-cons — the parts we’re supposed to ignore seem to keep changing.

    Thanks!


  125. TerrytheTurtle Says:

    That’s right BikeR, we sinning secular progressives at TP which parts our Christianity we would be ‘able to suspend’ whenever the little voice in our head says so. St Darryl? St Darryl/ Nope, closed my eyes, and all I can hear is the sound of beltway 8 whooshing by.


  126. PatrioticLiberalChristian(PLC) Says:

    Very good 12-step program there PLC.

    Comment by ForTruth

    Apparently it was only good enough to delete! I don’t understand why or what “term of use” I violated.


  127. Yikes Says:

    “Yet, sweety, you mock God’s children every time there is a post about gay people. You’d better watch out ’cause God is gonna getcha!”

    This coming from a guy that only posts on TP when the subject has something to do with homosexuality!


  128. ForTruth Says:

    That’s what is so wonderful about the bible, you can pick the parts that fit your own personal bias. Some deadly disagreements have come of it however, in a large scale, over thousands of years, and people are still fighting over it. Did I say the Bible was wonderful? I take it back.


  129. SkinTight Says:

    Pastor Ted thinks he’s cured because he hasn’t gotten some real d*ck in a couple of months. Wife must have bought a double headed dildo.


  130. Lucifer Says:

    He must have seen that Snickers commercial.


  131. Earthling Says:

    Yikes — Actually, I post in many categories. I happen to be gay, and don’t pretend to be something else. Y’all could learn a thing or two about being truthful. I’m not hiding. Why are you? If you’re too stupid to see I was mocking the “god is gonna getcha” stance of these latent homosexuals, then you’re too stupid.


  132. DRxJ Says:

    #133
    Earthling, methinks Yikes was posting about our own Saint Daryll, who only pipes in with his nonsensical posts that deal with his version of sin (homosexuality).
    He, Saint Daryll, offers nothing in regards to other threads. He’s a closet homosexual, and he’s trying damn hard to supress that by offering (often wrongly) Biblical passages.
    Hey, maybe you two could hook up? You could probably help St. Daryll overcome his confusion


  133. Bluedog49 Says:

    And, verily as St. Daryll fought the scourge of liberalism, he was surrounded by Pagans and, his head having exploded, rose to sit at the right hand of Bush almighty. Amen.


  134. Gerald Gibson Jr Says:

    Ever been with a gay male prostitute? Then you are gay and always will be. Do we look like a bunch of idiots or are you just a self delusioned christian?


  135. Lee Says:

    Now that he is, uh, “cured”, do you think Bush will turn to him again for religious counsel?!!


  136. Lee Says:

    Exactly how do you think they drove the homosexuality out of Haggard?

    Did they give him a six-pack of beer? Order him a subscription to Playboy? Did they have him attend numerous hockey games? Did they have him watch Cinemax After Dark?!

    WTF??!!!!


  137. Jay Randal Says:

    Lee > they had Haggard watch all 4 versions of the Snickers ad, that has 2 rednecks kissing while both eating a Snickers candy bar, then they do weird things to each other or try to kill themselves drinking motor oil. After Haggard saw the commercials, he claims he is cured of being a homosexual > lol not.


  138. Democrat Soldier Says:

    #136 - I’m reminded of the old joke:
    What’s the difference between a “straight man” and a “curious bisexual man”?

    About a six-pack of beer.

    To us gays, it’s not just a joke, but the truth.


  139. big papa Says:

    We’re just trying to reverse your plan by instilling biblical standards into our society.

    Comment by Daryll —

    Daryll’s (Conned’self-servative) “biblical standards:

    don’t abort ‘em… but don’t support ‘em

    …pro-life…except in Iraq, Afghanistan or in the ghettoes of the U.S…

    …kill everyone who’s not like “them”…

    …I too can be an oppressor one day, with the right tax cut…

    …hypocrisy is good, if you can get away with it…

    …God must be chompin at the bit to send Daryll and his kind to hell…

    …I know I am…


  140. STL Cynic Says:

    Unfortunately for Ted, I heard that his first sermon when returned to the pulpit will be on his love for Peter.


  141. sfvalues Says:

    Daryll, Do you have a job or anything? Or, are you between semesters now? You seem to have an awful lot of free time to do your byble thumbing and tell the rest of us to repent so we can spend eternity with you.

    Funny Ted/Art/WhateverHerNameIsNow is planning on studying psychology. Good thing he’s studying online: that makes the restrooms in the campus library a lot safer.

    steve.


  142. Tell Z truth Says:

    Guys, first of all men of the world and children of God will never understand eachother, stop wasting your time debating… If you are truly children of God, then you should compasionate, patient, and understanding of eachother, addressing your concerns with love…. it sounds to me that neither of you want to think is wrong…. i say read your bible, pray about it, then ask God for wisdom…. if your conclusion does not align with the bible, then its probably not true and should not be followed…. only One is true remember… He is the way(seek him for direction), the truth (read the bible), and the life (the good shepard gives good life to his sheep)… Lastly, pastor Haggard did wrong but must be forgiven, and you cannot trust him so soon…. Yes of course we can pray for him and pray with him; homosexuality is not contagious, but through God’s perfect grace we can definately be healed, only time will tell…. We should hope for best for Mr. Haggard, I just dont think that he would be a good idea if he preached the word to the flock, i think he’s talent would be more suited in helping those who are going through the same thing via the Word of God…GOD BLESS and lets forgive and forget…….CHEERS!


  143. Democrat Soldier Says:

    #142 - So, if it’s in the Bible, it must be true?

    So, do you beat your slaves like the Bible says is OK, as long as they live loonger than 1 day after the beating?

    Do you kill your children if they curse you, like the Bible says you should?

    Do you burn everything a woman touches during “that time of the month” like the Bible says you should?

    Why not!?!? If the Bible is the “final auhority” then you must agree with my above statements!


  144. Tell Z Truth Says:

    To Mrs Democrat Soldier:
    Where in the bible did you find that?
    (New or Old Testament? Author?Chapter? Verse?


  145. mikhail Says:

    why are christians so obsessed with other peoples sexuality..so obsessed with sex, gender and genitals…really, don’t they worry about real stuff , like poverty, famine, environmental degradation, war and pestilence, the rich gettting richer and the poor getting more destitute.

    Why do they get so obessed with homosexuals, claiming it is a threat to the family ..HOW? if your husband runs off with the hussy next door, how can it be the fault of gays/lesbians? How can gays/lesbians be responsible for 505 divorce rate ( incidentally highest divorce are in the bible belt ha ha ).

    If your son does drug and your daughter gets laid while on booze - how is that the fault of gays/lesbians. Christians historically sought out scape-goats..they used to blame Jews, then blacks, then gypsies , then women and now since it is no longer fashionable to blame jews or blacks etc, they have to pick on vulnerable minorities like gays and lesbians.

    Hitler did not kill 6 million jews in a vacuum. Centuries of marginalization and denigration and demonizing of jews as Jesus killer enable common german citizens to exercise false moral authority in killing jews. In like fashion centuries of demonizing and denigration of homosexuals embolden wicked and otherwise morally bankrupt ‘straight’ bigots to descrimiaate and do violence to gay and lesbian and other sexual minorities .

    Furthermore picking on a scape-goat makes christians feel superior and ‘saved’. Denigrating others is easier than exercising love,charity and compassion which is actually the most basic teachings of Jesus of Nazareth. Sadly Christians hardly practise the most important commandemt of Jesus ie. Love God then immediately love your neighbour as yourself ( be he/she gay or staight).

    It is AMAZING HOW MANY PEOPLE CALL THEMSELVES CHRISTIANS WHEN THEY IN FACT DO NOT PRACTISE THE MOST IMPORTANT COMMANDMENT OF JESUS !!! THEY WOULD RATHER BE HYPOCRITES AND BE LIKE THE PHARASEES OF OLD DUUUH !

    mikhail - a child of the Universe


  146. Tell Z Truth Says:

    You are absolutely right, love God and love your neighbor wether he or she is a sinner or not, gay or straight, you are right my brother….


  147. mikhail Says:

    Evangelicals and christians in general tend to be so obsessed with sex, gender and genitals to the point that you would think that morality = sex and nothing more. Why I suppose in an evangelical’s mind a heterosexual drug dealer is ‘morally’ superior to a gay philanthropist. Christians in general are guilty of being self righteous and are constantly pretending to ‘love the sinner but hate the sin ‘ as if they can really do that -hah.!!!

    May I remind them that the oft repeated mantra of the modern pharasees ‘ love the sinner but not the sin’ is not a quote from Jesus , but a glib semantic invention of some self righteous baptist minister.

    Careful scholars of biblical texts who are familiar with the intricacies of ancient oriental languages are wont to not read their bias into isolated quotations.

    Jesus had no problems with gays ( natural eunuchs born of the mother’s womb). If you are anti-gay or condemnatory of gay people than you are out of sync with Jesus.

    This is what Jesus said:

    KJV Matthew 19:12
    12. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

    No less an authority than Jesus said it is o.k. to be gay, and for you to accept it. Who do you wish to follow - Jesus (of Nazareth) or Jerry (Falwell).

    For more detail discussion of this biblical position on the acceptance of gay people by no less an authority than JESUS - THE SON OF GOD , I refer you to this link :

    http://www.hiddenmeanings.com/gaysJesus2.htm

    Mikhail - a child of the intelligent Universe


  148. mikhail Says:

    Evangelicals and christians in general tend to be so obsessed with sex, gender and genitals to the point that you would think that morality = sex and nothing more. Why I suppose in an evangelical’s mind a heterosexual drug dealer is ‘morally’ superior to a gay philanthropist. Christians in general are guilty of being self righteous and are constantly pretending to ‘love the sinner but hate the sin ‘ as if they can really do that -hah.!!!

    May I remind them that the oft repeated mantra of the modern pharasees ‘ love the sinner but not the sin’ is not a quote from Jesus , but a glib semantic invention of some self righteous baptist minister.

    Careful scholars of biblical texts who are familiar with the intricacies of ancient oriental languages are wont to not read their bias into isolated quotations.

    Jesus had no problems with gays ( natural eunuchs born of the mother’s womb). If you are anti-gay or condemnatory of gay people than you are out of sync with Jesus.

    This is what Jesus said:

    KJV Matthew 19:12
    12. For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother’s womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it.

    No less an authority than Jesus said it is o.k. to be gay, and for you to accept it. Who do you wish to follow - Jesus (of Nazareth) or Jerry (Falwell).

    For more detail discussion of this biblical position on the acceptance of gay people by no less an authority than JESUS - THE SON OF GOD , I refer you to this link :

    http://www.hiddenmeanings.com/gaysJesus2.htm

    Mikhail - a child of the intelligent Universe


  149. Tell Z Truth Says:

    enuchs were not gay men… they were men who were castrated (celibate) to be a servant to the master…. why do many gay guys (like yourself) use this verse to justify your gay lifestyle?… christians do not hate you, we just believe in adam and eve, not adam and steve… if you are gay, then say it!… but dont try to mix your opinion with the God’s Word, the bible… I am not perfect AT ALL, in fact I am a sinner just like you, and everybody else in this world, and i am not saying that i am better than you either, but it is not right, according to the bible, to like other men…



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