Married women can’t be raped by their husbands.
By on Mar 29th, 2007 at 10:01 am
Married women can’t be raped by their husbands.
“By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don’t think you can call it rape,” said right-wing activist Phyllis Schlafly yesterday at Bates College. She also noted that women have an “inherent physical inferiority” and should not be firefighters, soldiers, or construction workers: “Women in combat are a hazard to other people around them.”
UPDATE: Meanwhile, Schlafly is making the rounds campaigning against the newly reintroduced Women’s Equality Amendment.
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The conservative point of view seems more out of touch every day.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:05 amNothing like a misogynist female…
March 29th, 2007 at 10:06 amThis Twit is wrong on so many fronts it is difficult to respond. Schaffly evidently thinks the purpose of a marriage license is to guarantee sex any time a man wants it and if his bride says no he has the right to force her. Some sacrament huh? Damn, even Conservative women hate women.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:08 amRape is Rape.
Overcoming objections or physical resistance from anyone, man or woman, by brute force is rape. Plain & simple. Married or unmarried.
This old woman has done well financially for decades being an antagonist to the women’s movement, but Gloria Steinhem sure aged more gracefully!
March 29th, 2007 at 10:09 amGOPer women would be wise to keep an iron skillet pan under the bed, so when their ugly husbands force them to have sex, then they can hit the creeps on the head to knock them out.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:11 amIs this quote from 1930? Schafly was also quoted as saying, “those iron horses will never replace the steam locomotive.”
March 29th, 2007 at 10:11 amJeezusHChrist!
March 29th, 2007 at 10:12 amAfter all these years, the witch is still breathing. She is so far out of the mainstream thinking today, even more than she was 30 years ago. She is a bane to women, women’s rights, and women’s equality.
She was born a century or so too late — she is postively archaic in her thought process — which seems to have petrified since the last I heard about her.
The conservative have been out of touch for the last 14 years.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:12 amThey aren’t into nuance are they? Dumb shits. All husbands are just great guys. All women are physically inferior. This is this…that is that. Period. I swear, more and more, it is clear that one of the defining characteristics of these right wing wack jobs is that they reserve the right not to live any kind of examined life ….whatsoever. They are lazy and they are stupid. They try to make the world simple because they are cowards and ultimately too weak to explore or deal with complex and frightening realities. They cause a lot of suffering as they cower, shake their authoritarian fingers, and obstinately refuse to lead an awakened existence. Making themselves comfortable is their top priority and they fail even at that.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:14 amWould anybody be terribly surprised if Phyllis Schlafly’s approval rating was around 30% ?
March 29th, 2007 at 10:15 amWelcome to the “compassionate conservatism” you all have heard about.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:15 amUnbelievable!
March 29th, 2007 at 10:16 am“Put your hands on the sink and don’t say a word, Phyllis.”
I guess this is the kind of noise we have to put up with when there is fredom of speech.
I think she might be Ann Coulter’s mom. Unsurprizing comment from Phyllis Schlafly. As others have mentioned, her views ALWAYS seem straight out of the kitchen of a 1930’s stepford wife. She’s a powerful voice for the conservative media, though. She’s a featured speaker in almost every major christian coalition assembly.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:17 amConservative family values: Marriage = sex slavery.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:17 amcomment #6 I know what you mean, but the iron horse is a steam locomotive.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:18 amOH MY F*KING GOD.
This woman is an idiot. What a f*cking moron.
Women are not property. They can, and do, get raped by husbands. Marriage is not consent to have sex, it is entering into a partnership of mutual respect.
“Women in combat are a hazard to other people around them.â€
What a STUPID statement. Granted, SOME (most) women are not cut out for these kind of jobs, but then again neither are SOME (most) men. Besides that, it has been proven that women are better shots than men!
March 29th, 2007 at 10:21 amBy Phyllis Shafly’s definitions… women shouldn’t be activists either. So she should follow Bill O’Reilly’s advice and “just shut up”.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:23 amThat is one sorry bag of bones.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:23 amComing from a “woman” who hasn’t had sex in 60 years and has made a “career” out of being contrary, we would expect nothing less.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:26 amIf the wife states that she doesn’t want to have sex, and the husband continues to force himself on her, that is considered rape. Though, the bible states that both individuals must treat each other fairly. The wife must not close herself from the husband, the husband must not close himself from the wife. This is why adultery is rampant in this country. Because they’re not pleasing one another so the spouse that lacks sex locates someone that will arouse him/her. Even though my wife and I are newlyweds, we have a consensual pact that will please both of us. Wives and husbands must cease being stubborn toward one another and communicate more.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:26 amSelf-loathing women hate all women.
A husband can’t rape his wife? Tell that to all the women who have been raped by their husbands.
F*cking b*tch.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:26 amGOPer women are a hazard to other people and to the world in general.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:27 amHey Phyllis, women also shouldn’t be allowed to read, write or speak either.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:30 amAnd men shouldn’t bake cookies because they might turn gay and have to go for Christian counseling to reverse the disease.
When are Americans going to get with it? I swear that this kind of behavior proves that evolution is real. 30% of Americans are cave people. 30% have evolved slightly within the past six years. The rest of us? Well, we evolved a long time ago, didn’t we?
March 29th, 2007 at 10:30 amYes and women should only speak when spoken to; a woman’s place is in the kitchen, fixing her husbands next meal; don’t worry your pretty litttle head and let the men do all the thinking.
The world has been going downhill since women lost their place thinking they have rights. It’s that dang-o suffrage causing all the problems.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:30 amNever mind the hatred for her own half of the species. Never mind the fact that I bet she’d complain pretty damn loudly if her husband tried to have his way with her when she wasn’t in the mood.
“Women in combat are a hazard to other people around them.â€
Ummm… I know you’re implying “friendly fire”, Phyllis, although I have no idea how you’re implying it… but… isn’t the entire point of combat to be hazardous to other people around you? Do you, as a soldier, go into a battle to not fight the other guy?
Reason and the Engligh language seem to have a perpetually adversarial relationship with the Religious Right.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:30 amDo you know why women’s feet are smaller than mens? So they can stand closer to the sink… :)
March 29th, 2007 at 10:30 amFor anyone who hasn’t kept track of the other lovely things Schafly has done for her fellow women, she mounted a huge campaign against the Equal Rights amendment in the 1970s and is a major part of the reason why it wasn’t passed. A huge military hawk, she was basically banging the same drum then as she is now, that if there was equality there would be more women in the armed forces (at the time drafted) and that this would undermine the strength of the US military.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:30 amDaryll,
I don’t agree with your comment 100%, but that’s the most sense you’ve ever made.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:32 am#21
Exactly! I was a juror on a spousal rape trial. We sent him off to prison.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:33 amShe forgot to add:
“Even the Taliban has supported these principals because God wanted it”
March 29th, 2007 at 10:34 amGood Lord, I had no idea that Phyllis was still lurking in our communities.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:37 amDaryll,
I don’t agree with your comment 100%, but that’s the most sense you’ve ever made.
Comment by Zooey — March 29, 2007 @ 10:32 am
Zooey, regarding my post, what don’t you believe about my comment?
March 29th, 2007 at 10:38 amRight on Darryl. Never thought I’d write that!
March 29th, 2007 at 10:43 amPhyllis Schlafly – on the cutting edge of legal and cultural thought of 1952!
A few months back I saw one of her “Eagle Forum” articles from 1998 or thereabouts warning America about how Clinton was overstretching our military and abusing Federal power by illegally conducting surveillance on Americans. That was funny.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:44 amZooey, regarding my post, what don’t you believe about my comment?
Comment by Daryll
Not believe, Daryll, I don’t agree with all of it.
There are many, many reasons for adultery, it’s not as simple as you think. I’m not saying adultery is right, I’m just saying it’s more complicated than what you said.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:44 amBetween the “Purity” Balls for his little girls and a Free Rape pass with wifey…….daddy has it pretty good doesn’t he.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:46 amFor that he promises not to indulge in porn for more than an hour a day.
Picture this:
It’s September or October, 1981. Reagan is President. It’s a beautiful, crisp fall evening in Williamsburg, Virginia. Because we had nothing better to do, and considered our 19 year-old selves to be pretty smart chicks, my friends and I decided to attend a debate between Phyllis Schlafly and Ellie Smeal, then the pres. of NOW.
The debate was almost boring, because we thought this stuff was old news–women were equal in everyway with men, and we were proof. We couldn’t believe then how this anachronism from the dark ages actually made the statements she made, which included pretty much the same statements she made above. We saw her as old, out of touch, and and absurd charicature of a persona that was quickly fading into history. She wasn’ t funny,though, and it made us all think twice about assuming things had changed for our generation.
Phyllis Schlafly was the less funny, uglier Ann Coulter of her day. Now she’s just some pathetic great-grandma of her, desperately trying to earn money to pay for her Depends. Now that’s funny.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:46 amSchlafly has been a wingbat since God created dirt. She represents the 19th century so well.
Darrell — you are way off base. Glad you and the wifey has whatever agreement about sex, but that has zilch to do with rape.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:47 amPhyllis must have come out of the woodwork to oppose the next attempt to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment. See http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/03/27/AR2007032702357.html
Phyllis Schafely is a good arguement against marriage. Why should anyone get married if they lose part of their legal rights?
March 29th, 2007 at 10:48 amahhhh…..this is a ridiculous statement by a ridiculous person…
any idiots that believes all conservatives think like this would be wise to try to think a little more.
you liberals hate it when you are stereotyped, but have no problem stereotyping everyeone you disagree with.
women can be raped by their husbands-fact
women can do combat duties (ask the Israeli army, some of their best fighter pilots AND special forces are women)
I as a conservative 100% disagree with the barbaric comments made by this person.
Libeals do as you ask us to do and don’t stereotype. I am sure I can find countless speeches and quotes that make liberals sound like complete buffoons, ,but I know most of you aren’t….
March 29th, 2007 at 10:52 amShe’s still around? I though they rounded up all the school marms and sent them to Amish country.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:54 amDon’t know how she slipped through…I’m from Maine, and what we usually do with something that smelly, old and rotten is use it for lobster bait…of course, that only works if the lobsters will eat it…and she’s been rotten for a long time…
March 29th, 2007 at 10:54 amnow it is a fact that men and women have different brain wave patterns, that if you put a man and a woman of the same size, shape, etc and both of them are in their top physical shape the man will be stronger and quicker….but, women can endure more pain than man…
i mean there are a lot of differences between the sexes that I think some liberals want to deny.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:56 amSorry, this is long winded…
March 29th, 2007 at 10:57 amMen and women aren’t the same and it has nothing to do with the way they are treated when they were little. That myth has been debunked over and over and over again. Generally speaking, and certainly there are exceptions to every rule, men are physically more capable than women to handle more physically demanding jobs. For instance, military combat positions. Women are being fed a bad bill of goods when they are being told they can have it all. You can be the perfect wife, mother AND CEO if you want to. It is only MEN that are holding you back. News flash…NO YOU CAN’T and the more you keep trying the more miserable you will become. Our roles were defined a certain way for very good reasons. This isn’t about opressing one sex or the other either. The sad thing is that society has been fooling both sexes for decades. Women are told that men are bungling oafs that are fair game for ridicule. Infact, they are encouraged to bash their spouses. Men on the other hand are NOT encouraged to lift up, praise and honor their wives. If they do they are labled as weak or wussies, or to the other extreme, chauvanists. The Bible speaks of submission for women which doesn’t mean allowing yourself to be trampled upon. If you read on it also says that MEN should put aside their own selfish desires and put their wives first. Both positions require “submission”, but the nuances of these concepts are lost on most people and skewed by the mainstream. Men and women are not the same, but do deserve equally fair treatment.
I thought she was dead.
March 29th, 2007 at 10:57 amTo Darryl and Zooey:
In a nut shell, Darryl is right. Certainly there can be other factors that drive one spouse or the other to an affair, but the withholding of intimacy is probably the biggest reason. BTW I do NOT condone adultery, but I understand how it happens. A man’s sex drive is as uncontrollable as a woman’s mood swings during PMS. That doesn’t exuse bad behavior by either party, but unfortunately it happens. Women, in general, will seek other companionship because they are not being emotionally fulfilled. Sex becomes a byproduct for women…generally speaking. Any woman who does not take any ownership for her husband’s affair and puts all the blame on him is fooling herself. That does not excuse his behavior. He still made that choice and must take responsibility for his actions, but it isn’t one sided… Your thoughts?
March 29th, 2007 at 11:05 amShe doesn’t deserve to be called a “woman”.
Take her uterus away before she does anymore harm with it (like procreating.)
March 29th, 2007 at 11:10 amI have a question for Phyllis. In this day and age, what difference does it make to have a women piloting an aircraft or driving a tank, and man doing the same job? Physical differences only come into play if our military is still using axes, swords, and armor, and only fighting in hand-to-hand combat.
The whole rape point is just absurd. Thank God this maniac does not decide our laws.
I agree with others; the right-wing point of view is becoming more and more out of touch with the mainstream.
March 29th, 2007 at 11:13 amYour thoughts?
Comment by Rambis
Well Rambis, I don’t have a lot of time, since I’m heading off to class. This is my thought: You’re a sexist assh*le who believes a lot of out-dated crap.
Maybe some of the other commenters will be able to bring you into the 21st century.
Thanks for asking.
March 29th, 2007 at 11:15 am[...] soldiers, or construction workers: “Women in combat are a hazard to other people around them.” Think Progress » Married women can’t be raped by their husbands. __________________ "How fortunate for leaders that men do not think."- Adolf [...]
March 29th, 2007 at 11:15 amWhen will she ever go away? When will she go home, stop voting, speaking in public and just quietly bake the bread she used to TALK about, and in sum live the life style that she and her fat balding religious cohorts would inflict on others?
A Victorian woman would NEVER speak in public which is why it was such a big deal when Susan B. Anthoney started doing so. A Victorian woman considered voting and politics to be entirely outside their sphere in life. Thet squaking Schlafley wouldn’t last long under the system she touts, and somehow I too doubt she would be a willing vessel for sex on demand.
March 29th, 2007 at 11:19 amThis is what happens when Louisiana floods. All kinds of nasty stuff gets washed out from old graves and rises to walk again. We should have salted her grave when we had the chance.
What? She’s not dead. Jesus, you could have fooled me.
March 29th, 2007 at 11:23 amZooey,
Sorry you feel that way. I speak from experience and my very confident, strong-willed, and strong-minded, intelligent, sexy and passionate wife feels the same. Your response highlights the point I made that the nuances of these concepts is lost on the mainstream. Infact, I am probably more respectful, and more appreciative of women than most of the “liberals” you know. I love and cherish my wife and would go to the ends of the earth for her. But we are different. The thing is, those differences are what make it so wonderful. But honestly, this has taken time and life’s experiences to really open my eyes and heart to this…
March 29th, 2007 at 11:23 amThanks for the reply. I really mean that.
When I was a student at the University of Pittsburgh 17 years ago, my student lecture club sponsored a debate between Schlafly (can’t believe she’s still alive) and Sarah Weddington, Jane Roe’s attorney in the Roe v Wade case. In meeting them in person, after the debate, I found Schlafly to be quite a b***h due to the fact she passed by me when I offered to thank her for participating.
Miss Weddington, on the other hand was more charming and even asked me and another student to accompany her to the Carnegie Museum so she could look at an African art exhibit. After that we, along with other student leaders had lunch at a bar and discussed politics and art before we parted. It was a very good 2 days.
phyllis, as far as I was concerned would have preferred a private strip joint with her personal dominatrix, but she won’t admit it.
March 29th, 2007 at 11:27 am#53 Are you saying that it is the lack of the physical act of sex or the underlying emotional void that is the major cause of infidelity?
March 29th, 2007 at 11:28 amThanks for the reply. I really mean that.
Comment by Rambis
Listen Rambis, I’m really happy you have a great relationship with your wife and tons of life experience. Maybe she doesn’t mind being patronized, but I do.
Actually, I know conservative men who are less patronizing than you. You’re not a bd guy. I’m not saying that. I’m saying your information is out of date.
Yes, men and women are different. I worked that out all by myself during the 47 years I’ve been on earth.
Later.
March 29th, 2007 at 11:35 amJPark,
March 29th, 2007 at 11:36 amI am saying that if you were to rank reasons why someone pursues extra-marital affairs those would be ranked at the top of the list. Do men need the emotional attachment too? Yes. Do women seek affairs for physical pleasure too? Yes. But I am speaking in general terms. The thing is, people hate being “labeled” or “generalized” but the truth is if we would do a better job of recognizing our own individual tendencies and those of our husband’s or wives’ we could get past a lot of the differences that cause the disconnects that force a couple apart. I by no means am trying to over simplify the reasons for adultry, becuase I do agree there are other reasons one chooses an extra-marital affair. They just aren’t as common… in my experiences.
Individuals like Zooey believe that their thinking is cutting edge and 21st century, they don’t realize that it has been around for centuries.
Cheating is a two way street most of the time. The problem we have in our society today is that women believe that being equal to men is adopting and engaging in the same depraved behavior that some men engage in. I know plenty of women who think that sleeping around and having affairs after affairs makes them strong and brings them up to par with a man.
there are men who cheat for the sake of cheating AND there are women who cheat for the sake of cheating and their wife/husband can’t be held accountable.
I do agree with Rambi that men and women have undeniable difference and it is this differences that make the sexes be attraced to each other.
and I will agree with Rambi that most of my liberal friends who are married disrespect their spouses a lot more than my conservatives friends.
March 29th, 2007 at 11:39 amSusan B Anthony would be ashamed of what the feminist movement has become.
Margaret Sanger is not exactly what Susan B. Anthony had in mind when she wanted more women to become leaders of her movement.
March 29th, 2007 at 11:41 amZooey,
I guess that could sound patronizing, but believe me I don’t mean to be, but that’s why I thanked you for your input. I am sometimes too direct and that in itself can come across in a negative way. I am passionate about how I feel. I am re-married and was not a very “strong” husband to my first wife and as such never had her respect. By strong I by no means mean “domineering”. Too many men have no clue about what it means to be a real man. Strength comes in so many forms. Humility is a strength. Sound leadership is a strength. Reliability is a strenght. Pride is the undoing of so many men and women. While my ideals may be out of date by today’s standards, I think that if traditional roles were more in vogue today, our families and our country would be in a better state. Oppression of women is NOT part of those traditional roles either. Honor, respect, love, selflessness…these are part of those “traditional” values… Thanks again Z!
March 29th, 2007 at 11:49 amwow
March 29th, 2007 at 11:49 amWhat if she getting ass raped by her preacher husband? She have a problem with that?
March 29th, 2007 at 11:50 amThat’s family values for you…no wonder more and more young women are choosing not to consent to this kind of sex by not getting married…
Schlafly has always been a hypocrite… making a living outside the home as a public speaker at the same time as telling women that their place is in the home…
They must be blowing the dust of this dried up old woman in order to combat the return of the Equal Rights Amendment…
March 29th, 2007 at 11:50 amPlease, oh please let her keep talking. Keep repeating her words over and over again. Let it be known what the conservative position really is.
Just think about an entire generation of women voting en masse for Democrats. THAT is what Schlafly will do with these sorts of statements. She’s the best thing for liberals since Newt Gingrich showed the world that the GOP can’t govern its way out of a paper sack.
March 29th, 2007 at 11:53 amand I will agree with Rambi that most of my liberal friends who are married disrespect their spouses a lot more than my conservatives friends.Comment by Captain Kirk — March 29, 2007 @ 11:39 am
Well, that might be true for your friends, but let’s take a look at the ‘08 Presidential candidates. The Republicans (conservatives) have a history of adultery and multiple divorces while the Democrats (liberals) have a history of long lasting marriages. Which is the exception and which is the rule?
March 29th, 2007 at 11:54 amThanks Cap’n. My wife and I have had the same discussion about women equating sex and their sexuality w/power. They have bought into the lie hook line and sinker. If most men who lived the promiscuous life would be honest, I think they would admit how empty that really is. I admit it. I lived it thru college and beyond. It erroded me from the inside out. There is nothing “macho” about the “conquest”. THAT is far more chauvanistic than embracing specific roles for men and women and the value we BOTH have in those roles.
March 29th, 2007 at 11:55 amTake her uterus away before she does anymore harm with it (like procreating.)
Comment by Not Canadian
The only thing she could pump out of her uterus is dust bunnies.
March 29th, 2007 at 11:55 amVery interesting (not to mention amusing) to hear this stuff said out loud. This is what a lot of conservatives believe; they have just learned it’s unpopular, so they keep it to themselves, and express themselves in other ways, like, all the unfair negative stuff about Pelosi and H. Clinton. And then when you call them sexists, they profess their admiration for C. Rice or E. Dole, two powerless puppets of the male-dominated conservative movement. Schafly is refreshingly honest; at least you know where you stand with her.
March 29th, 2007 at 11:56 amCap’n, thank you. My wife and I have had the same discussion about women equating sex and their sexuality w/power. They have bought into the lie hook line and sinker. If most men who lived the promiscuous life would be honest, I think they would admit how empty that really is. I admit it. I lived it thru college and beyond. It erroded me from the inside out. There is nothing “macho” about the “conquest”. THAT is far more chauvanistic than embracing specific roles for men and women and the value we BOTH have in those roles.
March 29th, 2007 at 11:56 amTo # 45 Rambis and Captin Kirk………….please. Spare intelligent women your prejudices.
Rambis says: “Our roles were defined a certain way for very good reasons. ”
And who gets to define those roles hmmm Rambis? The Bible? You? :) stuff it bud.
Women, if they have the guts to stand up against the incredible wall of bullshit that society has constructed to box them in, have the right to define their lives. That is what I do by the way. Your comments are not appreciated but this woman who will not let you or any book or doctrine define me. Good try. And by the way, if you are smirking to yourself asking…”Then why are women always losing to men?” I’ll tell you why. Because at the end of each long nuances argument between man and woman down throught the ages has come the crucial deciding moment. That is…who is physically stronger and going to beat the crap out of the smaller human to achieve domination. That’s it bud. Brute force ……..don’t try to dress it up as some sort of God’s will CRAP. And next you’ll be telling me I’m “shrill.” Ha ha. I laugh in your face. There are a thousand ways men have tried to control women. She can be a whore or a good little wife. She can not be a whole sexual powerful being….too threatening for the Captin Kirk’s and the Ramis’s. Societies have very effectively split woman within themselves thus….divide and conquer. Women are constantly trying to resolve this dilema. Where as men can be sexual, proactive in their work, and are not split into the whore/good guy divide. The get to be one piece.
So, I don’t buy your arguments Captin Kirk. Making a statement such as “my liberal friends ( friends?) treat their spouses worse than my conservative friends” is ridiculous.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:02 pmInteresting that we are not talking about how women treat their husbands….that’s not even part of the discussion. Because….guess who is the assumed person in power—so it wouldn’t matter terribly much would it.
I would never want you for a spouse because you see women as secondary as much as you try to disguise it……I’ve got news for you. You are no better and not superior in ANY WAY to a woman. Not ANY WAY.
OMG, that whithered old bitch is still around. I thought that she had been marginalized a long time ago. She is right, though. When a woman marries she is giving implicit permission for sex. But not FORCED sex. No woman should ever be in a position where she is forced to have sex with any man. I’m hoping that Phyllis’ husband forces sex on her three times a day. It would be fitting justice.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:04 pmPlease don’t start talking about politicians and their “exploits”. It is funny how, on one hand,
March 29th, 2007 at 12:04 pmsegments of our society have become tolerant of things like divorce, but when it serves a political purpose it somehow has it’s “Scarlet Letter” stigma again.
Where is Phylis’s gay son these days?
March 29th, 2007 at 12:08 pm#
Any woman who does not take any ownership for her husband’s affair and puts all the blame on him is fooling herself. That does not excuse his behavior. He still made that choice and must take responsibility for his actions, but it isn’t one sided… Your thoughts?
Comment by Rambis — March 29, 2007 @ 11:05 am
#
I think this is what pissed Zooey off (and me) – it sounds as though you think it’s always the woman’s role to take ownership/blame. Most adulterers are male, and most of them have no better reason for doing it than their wayward libido.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:08 pmI agree that a marriage only works with communication and respect and mutual commitment – too bad it’s so lacking in most marriages.
BTW Darryl, there’s hope for you yet. Nice to see that you have a wholesome relationship with your wife, and best wishes to the newlyweds.
Bottom line. Woman have the opportunity and right to define themselves. That is the truth. It is up to them to decide what that means. The whole patriarchal “system” where by women give up their names at marriage ( convenient way of knocking her back on her heels no?– I mean it’s her NAME) , let their daughters attend “purity” balls, are not paid the same as men, have to listen to Rambis types defend this system, are raised to give a man power over her core, etc etc etc……………is shameful. Until women realize…figure out the circular trap, they are doomed to go around this hamster wheel. It often takes a while. Love…real love happens between equals. Even parents who truly love their children see that being as fundamentally equal to them, though they do have to lead them until they are old enough to be independent. Real love cannot happen between Master and Slave…no matter how you dress it up.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:13 pmRegarding adultery. Many studies show that adultery is more about power than about sex, just like rape.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:14 pmOh damn, she’s an old coot and according to her own doctrine should have been barefoot and in the kitchen her whole life. Just another conservative hypocrite.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:19 pmSummary: Cultures and societies come and go. Religions come and go. Philosophies come into favor and go out of favor. Bottom line. People are equal if they can realize it. People, both men and women, have a responsibility to deal with the challenge of this existence as individuals. Anyone who swallows a ready made package of “how to be” either as an individual or within a relationship is not taking responsibility. Ramis and his ilk will not tell any aware woman, with any true authority, how she has to be. There is no difference between racial prejudice and those power trips and much of what goes on in relationships. Love is not about power. But most relationships are in great measure about power. If a woman needs a man’s approval badly enough to let him ( figuratively) bind her feet, that is her choice. But it is a choice.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:22 pmS,
Interesting thoughts. Believe it or not I think you have valid points. But of course, by agreeing with you you might interpret that as patronizing, because, you see, you don’t need my approval to validate your points. You are a clear thinking woman who does not need a man to validate her.
Points I agree with, men have behaved horribly throughout history. My point however is that if THEY (MEN) were to behave as they should then women would not suffer the treatment you discribed. Your focus was on defining women’s roles, while I was focusing on defining the roles for both men and women with equality. One of the concepts that escapes so many these days is the idea of different but equal. The women’s movement has done great things for women’s rights, but they have probably done more in the past 30 years to set women back. ie the mindset that sex is power so use it. Even men have this all screwed up. Trying to by in to the bad behavior of men to put themselves on an equal footing is soo wrong. I don’t think that the womanizing man is held with such esteem in this day and age. Any man who looks to that “model” is an empty person.
But if you want to look at how society views men and women and sex, just look at the way male teachers who have sex with female students are treated vs female teachers who do the same with male students. Men are villified and put in prison for 32 years. Women are let off with hand slaps. The attitude is that the girl students were “victims”(though it is consentual sex) and the boy students are “lucky”. There is an attitude that it is more harmful to girl students than boy students. The reality is that the impact may be different, but no less harmful.
My hope for you is that you can be truly happy. Women are God’s gift to men and as such should be treated as the most precious gift we have here on Earth. Not something to be possessed, opressed, or trampled on.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:27 pm#41 you liberals hate it when you are stereotyped, but have no problem stereotyping everyeone you disagree with.
#58 and I will agree with Rambi that most of my liberal friends who are married disrespect their spouses a lot more than my conservatives friends.
Ah, the old the extrapolate my little circle of pig friends into the whole of liberal maledom. Seems we liberals don’t have the market cornered on stereotyping.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:31 pmS, men are in such a conundrum as are women. If a man opens a car door he can be viewed as condesending. If he pays for dinner for both he is a chauvanist. If he compliments a woman for how she looks he’s a pig. Or could be thought a gentleman for them all. Conversely, a woman is thought to be weak if she gives in any way shape or form to a man, even if he is not being “demanding”. Most men want a strong woman. But strength can be shown in so many ways. The key for you is to find out what really constitues true strength in being a woman. NOT defined by men either. There’s a great book that might help you really understand what really lies in a man’s heart. It is called “Wild at Heart”. If men would be honest, they’d agree with me.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:40 pmIt seems to me that if you follow Schlafly’s logic that there’s no such thing as a wife beater either, since apparently married women have consented to that also.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:45 pm#
Any woman who does not take any ownership for her husband’s affair and puts all the blame on him is fooling herself. That does not excuse his behavior. He still made that choice and must take responsibility for his actions, but it isn’t one sided… Your thoughts?
Comment by Rambis — March 29, 2007 @ 11:05 am
#
I think this is what pissed Zooey off (and me) – it sounds as though you think it’s always the woman’s role to take ownership/blame. Most adulterers are male, and most of them have no better reason for doing it than their wayward libido.
I agree that a marriage only works with communication and respect and mutual commitment – too bad it’s so lacking in most marriages.
BTW Darryl, there’s hope for you yet. Nice to see that you have a wholesome relationship with your wife, and best wishes to the newlyweds.
Comment by SKdeA — March 29, 2007 @ 12:08 pm
I’ve learned about marriage through my parents relationship, who have been married for 42 years. All issues can be resolved through communication and mutual respect.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:47 pmRambis, you sound honest…..though I do disagree with you in many ways. I do have a feeling if we talked long enough we would understand each other better.
That said, a woman is simply responsible for her life. Period. We all are. Suffer as she may trying to disentangle her soul from the edifices of male power stengthened over thousands of years, (a woman’s physical size is key in this I believe) she still must do so. That is what is on her plate. I am aware men have different struggles. For one, there are few women that can love a man the way he actually really wants because his sex has so helped to neuter women. So there are consequences to their success at control. They also have to “drive all the time” if you get my drift…..they go to war. That is not easy and I feel for men in this. But back to what I was saying…Men want love too…. and they want it from a woman that exists in her own right…not someone who can’t look back with equal power. I believe a woman only gets there with a lot of enlightened people behind her, raising her, and a lot of introspection and struggle. Yes, men have behaved horribly. But, I am not a man hater. I think the species has a lot of “splain to do.” Sometimes I wonder about us humans…..look at the world. So, for a woman who has made the mental and emotional hurdles I speak of, there are few men to choose from. The “Prize” can be lonliness however attractive she is. But that is as it is. The few men that don’t buy into the venus/Mars swill are wonderful. As for the “differences” you speak of as being “ok.” There lies the rub. It depends on what “differences” you speak of if you follow me. If you say, woman were made to obey,…..that is not a difference. That is dominance. I say, let the differences be themselves …..reveal themselves…..within the context of freedom and equal respect. Don’t tell me who I am in other words. The result will be love.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:47 pmSchlafly is absolutely correct. Why do feminists attempt to go against nature? I have an idea …. Let civilization collapse and all the men can just sit back and relax while women rebuild it. Okay? Then we can solve once and for all how much greater women are than men!
March 29th, 2007 at 12:47 pmHow foolish of women to think they are smarter than nature!
Men, I’d advise you to opt out of the gynocracy known as Femerica and go your own way. Let this mofo collapse. Let the feminists and manginas rebuild their utopia.
Rambis,……I don’t need a book to “help me understand” thanks…………please don’t be condescending.
You don’t have a clue about how I need to live my life. Remember that. You are coming from a position that you believe is more knowledgable on this subject. I don’t accept that
March 29th, 2007 at 12:51 pmPolitics is for men only, too. Shut up, bitch, and let the men decide on your life.
/Sarcasm off
March 29th, 2007 at 12:52 pmFunny that those that hate the Taliban the most, also want to be most like them….
This old bat is crazy. What ‘freedoms’ was it again that conservatives rally for?
Freedom to rape your wife, spy on your sex life, read your mail, tap your phones…..conservatives were always full of shit, now the weight of that shit is bringing down the house (hopefully for good).
I also forgot, freedom to be stupid, as any troll here can demonstrate.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:53 pmSchlafly is a woman who couldn’t get lucky in an Iraqi barrack full of US soldiers with a fist full of “get out of country now” cards. And she’s talking about rape. Maybe she’s sending a message to some guy she’s hot for, poor bastard.
It amazing how the “family values” party wants to create less lasting relationships. No married gays too scary. And now women should just live with men so they don’t have to be subject to sanctioned rape. I guess she’s never been in any lasting relationship.
March 29th, 2007 at 12:56 pmjonny, i don’t think I’ve ever heard something more stupid in my life.
Yah, the ‘men’ have done such a great job at taking care of this planet, it’s about time we had some smart sensible and compassionate women running things here. All our problems today are because of stupid old men (probably not unlike yourself)
You are a knuckledragger that equates might=right and you couldn’t be more wrong, musclehead. Speaking of Manginas…
A strong man doesn’t feel threatened by a strong woman….just an immature little boy who is scared of everything.
Back to the Leave It To Beaver set with you, stupid old woman, I mean, your name is Phylis. What century are you from again?
March 29th, 2007 at 12:59 pmshane — more to the point, what is it about these people that makes them want to make rape Not That Big A Deal?
March 29th, 2007 at 1:03 pmI guess that says it all
March 29th, 2007 at 1:04 pm[...] “By getting married, the woman has consented to sex, and I don’t think you can call it rape,†[...]
March 29th, 2007 at 1:05 pmOne question to the women, why must you have a chip on your shoulder? Why must you feel that men are trying to defeat/ignore you? It really discourages me when I talk to college friends about their relationships. That’s why I can state that I have a woman that is equivalent to a black diamond (rare).
March 29th, 2007 at 1:08 pmS,
Aaahh, there’s that word, “obey”. That has been so misconstrued by both sexes over the years, but before I go there I do agree with you. I think if we were in the same room together, we would learn a lot from each other and have a greater understanding of our views.
Sorry, about the book reference. I didn’t mean to be condesending. I’ve read it and I know some women who have read it even though it is a “guys” book and they really gained some interesting insight. No offense intended.
Men really do want love, but more than love I think we want respect. Not a domineering respect, but the kind that says, “I really appreciate all you have done for me.” That kind of respect only comes when we(men) do something FOR our wives. It can’t be demanded of them. Do you feel that most marriages are based on the idea of 50/50? 50/50 marriages are conditional. It means, IF you do your part, THEN I’ll do mine. In reality, all you can really do is your part so, if you concentrate on your part and let them concentrate on theirs it becomes a 100/100. Conditional marriages don’t work too well. Unconditional marriage does. If I focus on my role and being a good husband to my wife (which requires a lot of “submission”) that’s really all I can do. I can’t expect her to do anything. But a funny thing happens when both spouses do this. It works much better. Think this over before knee jerking a response. I do not believe my wife is supposed to “obey” me. She is my partner, and believe it or not, this is what the Bible says too. Its just that too many religious people and secular people have misintrepreted this. The Bible does not say women are inferior. There are just different roles. I hope I’ve conveyed this correctly because it isn’t meant to be negative…
March 29th, 2007 at 1:09 pmhmmm….actually more and more young women as studies show and suggest are deciding to stay home and have a family compared to the baby boomer generation. the one big difference is that young women that are going to college AND graduating are also deciding to stay home and have a family.
regardless, and this is what many liberals don’t get, most of us conservatives do not agree with what this woman said, a husband can rape a wife and if that happens the bastard needs to go to jail.
Women can be as good as men in combat, ask the Israeli armed forces.
i do believe that there are physical limitations for women that men don’t have. As I said earlier, a man and a woman of the same size, height and weight and they are both the same physically fit, the men will be physically stronger, faster, etc, etc. But this to me doesn’t mean that man are better.
as human beings men and women are equals and most be treated the same. But there are huge mental and physical difference. These differences don’t make either one of the sexes better, stronger or less equal.
March 29th, 2007 at 1:09 pmsickofitall,
I think you said it well….I strong man is not afraid of a strong woman. Little boys are the ones that are scared of strong woman.
this is why I married my wife, she is strong woman and stronged will, a very succesful professional (she is a lawyer) and an incredible mother.
Furthermore, I have always said, a woman that decides to stay at home should be admired, why? because she is a mother, wife, coach, lawyer, doctor, referee, cleaner, cook, etc, etc, etc….she pretty much does all the professions at once.
March 29th, 2007 at 1:16 pmS,
March 29th, 2007 at 1:16 pmanother thing. I don’t think women should bare the burden of blame if their husbands cheat. They do have to take SOME of the responisbility for the demise of the relationship that would lead to this choice made by the husband. But believe me, it is still the husbands burden to bear by a majority. Not hers. In the Bible, throughout history Eve has been unjustly labeled for “tempting” Adam with the apple. She just tempeted him. ADAM made the decision to bite it!!! It was ultimately HIS responsibility and he failed. If you believe in the concept of “original sin” it is Adam who is to blame. NOT Eve. Even if you just view that as a fable, Eve is should not be the “fall guy” in that story. It could be titled…”Adam: The Original ‘Man Behaving Badly’”
The best thing to do is just let the feminists inherit the earth and sit back and laugh! Please show me one nation that feminists found, built, maintained and improved? Please show me an invention that a feminist has created that has benefited humans? What exactly are feminists accomplishing? Other than using big daddy govt. to do all of their dirty work?
FEMINIST = USEFUL IDIOT
March 29th, 2007 at 1:16 pmThis is bizarr, I thought we were moving forward 40 year’s ago..What rock did this old fool crawl out from under, I to thought she was dead…
My spin on this is from experience and the very reason I am happily divorced..Don’t get me wrong I love men, I just don’t have a need for anything with such high maintainance attached to it at this time of my life..I’m sure I will get lot’s of flack over this one..LOL…
First off rape is violance expresed through sex..It is to totaly control and damage to the victom, both physical and mental.There is no love involved and when a husband rapes his wife it is just as bad as a stranger raping the woman..It is violance in an extreme form..To demand sex and then resort to rape is evil, plane and simple.
Infadelity can not be explained at a short forum such as this and to place blame on the one who is not being unfaithful is just stupid..The blame remains with the offender, period…Before the offender commit’s the offence there are other choices, counceling and ultimately divorce..To say that men can not control their urges dimishes their intelect, give me a break please…Every one CAN control their feeling’s unless they are a mental case and indeed there are many evil mental cases..
As I said in the beginning I had thought we had moved beyond this ownership thing 40 year’s ago, guess not..Following a relegious dogma of 2000 year’s ago does not help this situation one bit either…Partnership and respect along with love are the only thing’s that work in a good marriage..Sharing equaly in all work and joy should be our concern in this country, not that a man may be stronger and surly not that a woman is the weaker sex…Blessings
March 29th, 2007 at 1:20 pmCap’n, You are correct. I was going to make that point about women choosing to stay home, but I got off on another tangent. There was something in the news about a woman at HARVARD who was very outspoken about her desires to go into the working world and then one day leave that to start a family and STAY HOME. Groups like NOW specifically bashed her for this. She came under heavy fire for these “oppressive” comments. She was called a “traitor” and other mean spirited comments. That is one way I feel women have it harder than men. Other women can be so mean to them. Especially when it threatens the platform they’ve fought so hard to climb up on. It knocks at the foundation of the feminist movement. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE. I am NOT KNOCKING WOMEN. I am SUPPORTING THEM. This woman should not have been trashed for her choice to stay home and be a mom one day. SHE HAS THE CHOICE and that’s great!!!
March 29th, 2007 at 1:22 pmhmmm….actually more and more young women as studies show and suggest are deciding to stay home and have a family compared to the baby boomer generation. the one big difference is that young women that are going to college AND graduating are also deciding to stay home and have a family.
regardless, and this is what many liberals don’t get, most of us conservatives do not agree with what this woman said, a husband can rape a wife and if that happens the bastard needs to go to jail.
Women can be as good as men in combat, ask the Israeli armed forces.
i do believe that there are physical limitations for women that men don’t have. As I said earlier, a man and a woman of the same size, height and weight and they are both the same physically fit, the men will be physically stronger, faster, etc, etc. But this to me doesn’t mean that man are better.
as human beings men and women are equals and most be treated the same. But there are huge mental and physical difference. These differences don’t make either one of the sexes better, stronger or less equal.
Comment by Captain Kirk — March 29, 2007 @ 1:09 pm
The number of stay at home-wives will decrease because of inflation.
March 29th, 2007 at 1:25 pmLily,
March 29th, 2007 at 1:25 pmI hope you understand the meanings of those words. Gifts and possessions. Maybe God’s blessing to man, would be better. A gift is usually a blessing. I am blessed with a wonderful wife. That is a good thing for us all. But anyone can twist words.
johnny,
you are a bad boy! You are certainly not helping us guys here. Come on, man.
March 29th, 2007 at 1:32 pmRambis. Interesting comment. 50/50 marriages don’t work too well. Let me try to respond. First of all, as you say, nothing can be forced. Think about this as you talk about “conditional” marriage……… Yes, in the sense that anything goes….or if you bug me a bit I’m out of here and I won’t try too hard…yes that is not good. But there are no guarantees in life and one cannot build a system that will be fail proof. One partner may do a lot for the other, that doesn’t gaurantee anything ultimately. Love has to be freely given and there is a mysterious facet to this. One can believe that one should be loved- it is only fair- if one behaves a certain way…..and I understand this. Many times that is what happens. The danger lies in over programing things so that the dominance that you don’t want to feel from your wife, just as one example, CANNOT ever happen. There is fear in this. There is a sort of lock down feel….need to at all costs prevent this. If you want respect and don’t want to be dominated, you give the same to her and this may do the trick. It might add up to love. But there is no gaurantee. And that is ok….why? Because that is how it is. One cannot manipulate someone by adhering to the list of good behaviors…it won’t force someone to love them….or stay with them. Now my point……….Freedom means freedom. That means there are a lot of potential outcomes. This does not mean that the marriage has been entered into lightly or “conditionally” as you might put it. It means there is an acknowledgement that there is risk and both parties will do their best. The needs of women and men, the root needs, are the same. SAME. Respect, freedom to be who they are, love, and honesty. Who controls what that adds up to? That will reveal itself as the relationship progresses. Every day is a new day……I know that’s scary….but it’s true.
March 29th, 2007 at 1:33 pmPeople that want the rules to be clear, rigid, and non negotiable are frightened of the unknown. Well join the club….everyone is. But you cannot force love. I hope that addresses “conditional.” guess what….life is “conditional.”
Love is eternal. And love takes many forms and does not always…always….mean staying together. It might…it might not. Then you say…..but what then can a person count on? I say……….that is for you to answer….and it is between you and God.
Great. Rambis is another pussified, feminized, mangina so often to be found is weak America. What a country of weak men and delusional women. Get your balls back, Rambis.
March 29th, 2007 at 1:36 pmThe number of stay at home-wives will decrease because of inflation. Comment by Daryll — March 29, 2007 @ 1:25 pm
The number of Republicans will decrease, because of st*pid people like you. Just as they have for the last 5 years.
March 29th, 2007 at 1:36 pmSharon,
Men can control their urges. When they don’t it is a choice. That is what seperates us from the animals. Free will. The point is that those urges exist and we do fail. Those “urges” are real chemical reactions in a man’s body. Men are told to control themselves, but when women PMS we(men) are told to just deal with it. The truth is that both are chemical based and can be “controlled” but we both often fail. Some men, when they have been without sex get irritable. Some women when they have PMS get very irritable too. Chemicals. We have a choice in how we react. We don’t have a choice in the way it makes us feel.
I also agree with others who have said that rape, in any context, married or otherwise is wrong. Rape is an act of violence. Agreed.
March 29th, 2007 at 1:38 pmThe number of stay at home-wives will decrease because of inflation. Comment by Daryll — March 29, 2007 @ 1:25 pm
The number of Republicans will decrease, because of st*pid people like you. Just as they have for the last 5 years.
Comment by ValiantVenusGrewFromUranus — March 29, 2007 @ 1:36 pm
Valiant, I’ll say a prayer for you. You must be a feminist.
March 29th, 2007 at 1:49 pmjohnny, you’re killing me. Hey, did you see my earlier joke? Here it is again…
Why are women’s feet smaller than men’s?
So they can stand closer to the sink…(baddum bump)
Thank you, I’ll be here all week. Try the veal!
Ladies, IT’S A JOKE!!
johnny, there’s hope for you yet. ;)
March 29th, 2007 at 1:49 pmS,
March 29th, 2007 at 1:57 pmI guess the key is what we are striving for. If we have a 50/50 mindset vs a 100/100 mindset. No one is ever going to do things right all the time. I fail daily at living up to my end of the bargain, but my wife isn’t going to pack it in because of that. We talk about our differences, problems, etc. and we FIGHT about them too. But it is how we reach resolution that differentiates the conditional from the unconditional. I recognize there are conditions that we can’t help put on one another, but we strive to not let those muddy the waters too much. Trust is a huge factor. That is developed over time. In a 100/100 marriage, time is important. 50/50 marriages sometimes don’t allow for time to grow.
Isnt this the same position the Taliban take on married women?
March 29th, 2007 at 2:01 pmEnjoyed the debate all. Cap’n, Zooey, S, Daryll, Lily, and yes, even you johnny… I’m signing my 6′6″ 220 lbs wussy butt off. You all reflect some very interesting cross sections of this country. Remember, this is still the greatest country on Earth. There’s always going to be room to improve. Just as with each of us.
March 29th, 2007 at 2:21 pmValiant, I’ll say a prayer for you. You must be a feminist.
Comment by Daryll — March 29, 2007 @ 1:49 pm
Daryll,
Hopefully one day you and Tiffany will be blessed with a daughter. I want you to look your beautiful child in the eyes and tell her that she is not equal to a boy. I want you to tell her that she is precious, but not as valuable as a boy. I want you to tell her that she can only enjoy half of what the world has to offer, because she is not a boy.
If you can do that, you need to decide now not to have children.
March 29th, 2007 at 2:28 pmI want you to tell her that she can only enjoy half of what the world has to offer, because she is not a boy.
Comment by hacker bob — March 29, 2007 @ 2:28 pm
Also tell her that, should her husband decide to sexually force himself on her, she cannot complain or refuse but must submit and let him have his way with her. Any time. Anywhere. In any way he so wishes. For as long as he wishes -her dignity and self-esteem be damned. Because she is not as valuable as a boy.
If you can do that, you need to decide now not to have children.
Some people should remove themselves from the gene pool. The sooner the better.
March 29th, 2007 at 2:39 pmIf you can do that, you need to decide now not to have children.
Comment by hacker bob
You know what, Robert? Daryll would do exactly that, with his god in his heart. I hope they never have children.
March 29th, 2007 at 3:38 pmS, Marie, Coffins, Kate Henry, SKdeA, Sharon, and all the great guys who aren’t interested in controlling women,
Great job on this thread. :)
March 29th, 2007 at 3:43 pmIndividuals like Zooey believe that their thinking is cutting edge and 21st century, they don’t realize that it has been around for centuries.
Dude, thanks for letting me know what I think.
I know plenty of women who think that sleeping around and having affairs after affairs makes them strong and brings them up to par with a man.
Comment by Captain Kirk
Well, Captain, that can’t be so because we all know nothing could bring a woman up to par with a man.
/sarcasm
Why do you know so many slutty women, Captain? Hanging out with the wrong crowd?
March 29th, 2007 at 3:48 pmHey Daryll, you accidentally posted as Captain Kirk in comment 94. Either that, or Captain Kirk accidentally posted as you in comment 100.
March 29th, 2007 at 4:54 pmSo, Schlafly, IF YOU’RE MARRIED(AND I PITY YOUR POOR HUSBAND IF YOU ARE) AND YOU TELL YOUR HUSBAND “NO” WHEN HE WANTS TO F*CK YOU BUT HE GOES AHEAD AND DOES IT ANYWAY, YOU WOULD NOT CALL IT RAPE????? I CERTAINLY WOULD, THOUGH IN YOUR CASE I WOULD CALL IT “BESTIALITY” BECAUSE YOUR HUSBAND WOULD BE HAVING SEX WITH, F*CKING A FILTHY PIG, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE, Phyllis Schlafly!!!!!
March 29th, 2007 at 5:34 pmYOU MUST MEAN Schlafly IS MAKING THE ROUNDS LOOKING FOR PERVERTED REPROBATES INTERESTING IN F*CKING A FILTHY SOW-ANIMAL LIKE HER!!!!!
Hey Zooey,
I think this is what pissed Zooey off (and me) – it sounds as though you think it’s always the woman’s role to take ownership/blame. Most adulterers are male, and most of them have no better reason for doing it than their wayward libido.
I agree that a marriage only works with communication and respect and mutual commitment – too bad it’s so lacking in most marriages…
Comment by SKdeA — March 29, 2007 @ 12:08 pm
Honestly didn’t mean to piss you off. Here’s what I wrote in another post on the topic of ownership/blame…
I don’t think women should bare the burden of blame if their husbands cheat. They do have to take SOME of the responisbility for the demise of the relationship that would lead to this choice made by the husband. But believe me, it is still the husbands burden to bear by a majority. Not hers. Comment by Rambis — March 29, 2007 @ 1:16 pm
I do agree with you that men who just choose not to control their libedo’s have no excuse and their wives may be wonderful giving women in all areas(bedroom included) and these men are just selfish lost souls.
I hope you caught some of my other stuff after you left. I don’t believe in “controlling” or “oppressing” women. I believe we each bring something different to the table and those differences are equally valuable especially when raising a family.
March 29th, 2007 at 5:50 pmRay,
March 29th, 2007 at 5:53 pmYou need to work on expressing yourself. You seem so timid and closed in. You gotta learn to just let it all out ;)
Rambis,
Correct me if I’m wrong — because I know you will — but did you ever actually address whether or not you agree with that cow’s assertion that women cannot be raped by their husbands?
March 29th, 2007 at 6:50 pmZooey,
I did address that earlier and NO I don’t agree with her. I’m not sure what the heck her thought process is on that, but I did say that I believe rape to be an act of violence through the use of “sex”. I don’t even like remotely equating it with sex.
Personally, I can’t fathom that kind of act. Sex is sex, rape is not sex. Rape is another form of physical assult on someone with ULTRA tramatic psychological ramifications.
Any guy who would force himself on a woman for any reason is just wrong even if he thinks it is for the “sex”. I personally would rather my partner, in this case my wife, be as into it as I am. WAY MORE FUN!!!
March 29th, 2007 at 7:08 pmYou folks are missing the point behind Schlafly’s statement that women are dangerous in combat — this has all come up since the Army has had to admit that Pat Tillman’s death by friendly fire was covered up by Generals. Next will come the revelation that he was killed by the Women’s Auxiliary Special Forces in the midst of one motherf*cking bad case of PMS. See? It’s all for a purpose…
March 30th, 2007 at 12:37 amSusan B Anthony would be ashamed of what the feminist movement has become.
Margaret Sanger is not exactly what Susan B. Anthony had in mind when she wanted more women to become leaders of her movement.
Comment by Captain Kirk —
Wow! You are really out of date! First of all, Margaret Sanger has been dead for over 40 years, so is hardly leading the current feminist movement. Moreover, how do you know that Susan B. Anthony, if she had lived past 1906, wouldn’t have approved of Sanger’s work to get easier access to birth control and family planning after universal suffrage was obtained?
March 30th, 2007 at 1:31 amSchlafly should hush like a good Christian female. Female voices are not meant to teach: it says so in the Bible. She should be down on her knees servicing her husband as he toilets in the morning, while doing dishes and cooking a meal.
March 30th, 2007 at 8:53 amExactly and being gay is a choice as well as if you don’t believe in God you’re going to hell………….friggen idiot.
March 30th, 2007 at 9:01 am“Men, I’d advise you to opt out of the gynocracy known as Femerica and go your own way. Let this mofo collapse. Let the feminists and manginas rebuild their utopia”
Johnny, you sound like a hysterical, weak old man. You would be better off dating men. We can all tell that’s where your love lies.
March 30th, 2007 at 9:01 amPoor Phyllis is a dinasaur in a modern era and so out of touch she appears like a characture of another era and a dinasaur Political party, the Republicans. She is like the last burp of a useless and pointless human-one who spends her life self hating and hoping desperately to assist other women in her self hate.
March 30th, 2007 at 10:11 amI am a female who has spent more years than I like to admit to, working on a jackhammer. I do the exact work my male counterparts do. My step sister is a Firefighter. When I think of Phyllis I think, out with the old and in with the new. Let us not limit ourselves due to a mysogynist in the ranks.
Just think where human beings could be right now, technologically and biomedically, had we not suppressed for nearly the entire time we have been on earth, the talents and ideas of ONE HALF of our population?? People like Phyllis Schlafly are lazy; they would rather let others do the work and pretend that their laziness is a God-mandated submission. If she wants to sit around sipping tea and complaining about other women, fine. But the rest of us REAL women go about our business.
March 30th, 2007 at 10:30 amCool. Lots more wisdom from the women on this thread.
Excellent….
March 30th, 2007 at 11:23 amSo many people here have little evidence to their statements and are letting their emotions or extremists views take over them. If she is religious (Catholic) at all, if any of you say you are catholic, you either do not read the bible or are too stupid to understand it. Each man belongs to his wife, and each woman belongs to her husband. If your husband wants to have sex, you give it to him and vice versa.
The inherent physical inferiority is also true to a degree. While people here are defending how not every military man is 6 foot 2 and can bench 400 pounds, wich is true, not every woman can do it either. In our society (American, not sure if this is a global site or not) men are often stronger then their female friends. To take the extremes, the strongest men can and I believe are stronger then the strongest females because females require a higher body fat ratio then men to sustain themselves. Truthfuly it should be on a case by case scenario, some 6 foot 2, 130 pound guy enlists and he should be turned away since he may be more of a hinderance then a help, but if a woman can perform on an equal footing as a man then they should be allowed to enlist if they choose.
Her stance on the ERA is sketchy at best. It seems that the wording of the amendment will help allow the marriage of gays and lesbians. It also would make women eligible for the draft (or make the draft unconstitutional [sp?]) I guess my personal feelings are equal rights for women should become part of the constitution through an amendment, but the current wording will just create more problems then it faces. It should be stressed that there are already equal rights laws, an amendment isn’t necessary besides to put these laws in stone so that they are harder to remove. Though even amendments aren’t invincible if any of you remember the prohibition acts.
April 2nd, 2007 at 2:43 pm