FBI wants your help finding WMD.
By on Apr 11th, 2007 at 4:33 pm
FBI wants your help finding WMD.
“We obviously don’t have the resources to be everywhere,” Jeffrey Muller, head of the FBI’s WMD countermeasures unit, says in a press release issued today. “With our outreach programs and the partnerships we’ve developed over the years, we don’t have to be.”
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Where’s Waldo!
April 11th, 2007 at 4:35 pmThis program could be called
April 11th, 2007 at 4:35 pm“Reach Out and Finger Someone”
THis is a joke ain’t it.They will find UFO’s in the market McCain recently visited rather than finding WMDs in Iraq.
April 11th, 2007 at 4:37 pmThe U.S. uses a number of deceptions, definitional illusions, and euphuisms, including counting only “combat forces” and “military personnel”, to drastically undercount the number of U.S. forces involved in Iraq, which is at least twice the number as those quoted in the media.
Add the 120,000 contract mercenaries and the forces involved in the Iraqi operation and the total comes to 300,000 to 360,000, more than twice the “official” figure of 145,000 troops. This isn’t counting the more than 5,000 British combat troops and navy personnel, down from a high of 40,000 during the initial invasion, or the ragtag remnants of the highly vaunted “Coalition of the Willing”, which has dwindled
IF 400,000 troops cannot find WMD then there aint any ??????
April 11th, 2007 at 4:40 pmOMG the insanity of all this….
April 11th, 2007 at 4:42 pmHey, I think my neighbors might be up to something. They’re very suspicious characters and are either of middle-eastern descent or Mexican, I can’t tell the difference. Plus I’ve never liked them anyway.
/sarcasm
\Ministry of truth
April 11th, 2007 at 4:47 pmWell they could solicit help from the TSA people who flagged me and a partner last week at Dulles for having a tape measurer and at O’Hare because my companion’s make-up was okay, but had to be confiscated because it was contained in a transparent, plastic zipper bag–not a “zip lock bag.”
I am not making that up. The make-up was fine at Dulles, but the tape measurer was a problem. The tape measurer was fine a O’hare but the make-up was a problem.
Meantime, Osama lives on…amazing.
In other news, ho-no! Imus gets his comeuppance: Punishment: “Imus Agrees to Become Nappy-Headed Ho“
April 11th, 2007 at 4:47 pmI don’t get the controversey here. Isn’t it a good thing that the FBI is leaving WMD detection in, say, Missoula to the locals and focusing on more realistic targets?
April 11th, 2007 at 4:48 pmDo we get decoder rings?
April 11th, 2007 at 4:49 pmWhy should I help the FBI?
They’re a bunch of crooks who broke the law over 30 THOUSAND times with their National Security Letters.
Screw ‘em.
April 11th, 2007 at 4:49 pmoh my gawd…
the good germans turned on each other also…
there are not enough people left who can remind us of all that…
history does repeat itself… this may be a record of shortest time span before that repeat… but here goes, i truly fear…
April 11th, 2007 at 4:49 pm…
is that why you have ignored public corruption cases against republicans? Is that why your boss hasn’t resigned for his admitted crimes of obstruction of justice, the Hatch Act, and how many others that only you know of?
April 11th, 2007 at 4:56 pmthis is absurd, now our FBI agents are lying to the public via the media
wonderful to have such confidence in those of you protecting us.
Would they give a nice heavily starched brown shirt?
April 11th, 2007 at 4:57 pmDo we get decoder rings?
Comment by Badmoodman
Thank you for the best laugh of the day!
April 11th, 2007 at 4:58 pmWell… one thing for sure…
we know where they aren’t
April 11th, 2007 at 4:59 pmAir Force planes and medical crews airlifted more than 850 wounded and injured servicemen out of war zones during March, according to the Air Force. In February, the Air Force flew out 767 patients.
———————————————————————–
Military spending soars to keep troops in the service
The bonuses can range from a few thousand dollars to as much as $150,000 for very senior special forces soldiers who re-enlist for six years. All told, the Army and Marines spent $1.03 billion for re-enlistment payments last year, compared with $174 million in 2003, the year the war in Iraq began.
April 11th, 2007 at 5:00 pm————————————————————————-
I have a suggestion maybe if they hire Valerie Plame to do some undercover work in Iran they might be able to get information. Maybe hire back all the experienced CIA agents who had contacts in the Middle East they gave them inside information. Who wouldn’t work for the Bush Administration as they would never leak a covert agents name as honest as they are. I’m sure all would be willing to support the United States in finding the WMDs.
April 11th, 2007 at 5:02 pmWait….what did I read on another thread?
I’d much rather have the FBI concentrate on preventing the next 9/11 terrorist attack(s).
Comment by Jake — April 11, 2007 @ 1:09 pm
So, just what IS the FBI doing if they aren’t going after white collar criminals and they need our help to find WMDs? Where are we supposed to look anyway? I remember Bush couldn’t find any WMDs around the White House, so where are they anyway? Perhpas I should inform on my neighbors…….
April 11th, 2007 at 5:02 pmIt also keeps them from investigating the corporate donors to the rethugs….
Rethugs are not allowed in my house, even relatives. You need to wipe your feet clean and there is nothing rethugs can do to clean their souls of the filth.
April 11th, 2007 at 5:04 pmYeah sure, I just happen to hang around the deserts of Iraq with my metal detector just for the fun of it…
April 11th, 2007 at 5:06 pmThe bonuses can range from a few thousand dollars to as much as $150,000 for very senior special forces soldiers who re-enlist for six years. All told, the Army and Marines spent $1.03 billion for re-enlistment payments last year, compared with $174 million in 2003, the year the war in Iraq began.
I keep hearing we have a volunteer army….what’s with all this money? In the real world, when you “volunteer” you don’t get paid.
April 11th, 2007 at 5:08 pmExactly, ann.
April 11th, 2007 at 5:14 pmOur armed forces personnel signed up for a reason.
Pay.
Benefits.
Education.
Many of the new young recruits are literally bribed.
Many in the National Guard rue the day they signed up.
They signed on to help defend America.
Not plunder, kill and terrorize foreign countries.
If the FBI wants to find a Weapon of Mass Destruction they should look no further than the White Wash House. (W)DUHbya’s Mouth and “the Dick” are the two worst WMDs in the world.
April 11th, 2007 at 5:20 pm#21 ann
In the real world when you volunteer you can also quit whenever you want. Not so our “Volunteer” troops in Iraq.
April 11th, 2007 at 5:23 pmWhat’s the pay?
April 11th, 2007 at 5:37 pmThis tactic worked so well in Afghanistan…….
(sarc/off
Half of the detainees in Guantanamo are there because feuding gangsters were making stuff up and turning each other in…
“Outreach programs” (geeeeez)
April 11th, 2007 at 5:37 pm**Slaps forehead** You’ve got to be kidding me.
April 11th, 2007 at 5:55 pmWould they give a nice heavily starch brownshirt?-comment by screech.
jackboots, don’t forget the jackboots. and the swastikas too.
April 11th, 2007 at 6:09 pmHere’s an idea, call up Mrs. Wilson over at Brewster Jennings and Associates…. oh wait..
April 11th, 2007 at 6:15 pmComment by Raven — April 11, 2007 @ 5:37 pm
Yes, that’s right folks! Just a few years ago, only Afghan Warlords could collect a bounty for turning in their neighbors. Now, you too, can cash in!
Got a problem neighbor? Maybe he’s Al Qaeda! Just give us the name and address and we’ll do the rest. No evidence? Don’t worry. We’ll get all the evidence we need from your neighbor! That’s right. Our interrogation techniques have a 100% success rate!
And the best part is, you get paid in cash! Operators are standing by, waiting for your call. So don’t delay, be a Patriot! Turn in someone today and be the first on your block to cash in on this wonderful opportunity to serve your country.
Got a problem with your spouse? Divorce too costly? Give us a call!
Kids, did you just get grounded? Now you can get even! Give us a call! Just think, no more broccoli, no more cleaning up your room. Why, the possibilities are unlimited! Hate homework? Call us! Flunked you last exam? That could be the last exam your teacher will ever give. But rest assured, we will examine your teacher!
Once again, our operators are standing by, 24/7 waiting for your call. Turn in a terrorist today!
All calls subject to monitoring by the NSA. In case of multiple callers reporting the same terrorist within a 24-hour period, the reward will be divided equally. No one may collect more than 10 cash awards per day.
April 11th, 2007 at 6:26 pmI’m calling in and saying I know exactly where WMDs are. They’re in Tikrit, Baghdad, to the north, south, east, and west somewhat.
Then I’m going to take my reward and buy a Camaro!
April 11th, 2007 at 6:41 pmComment by Briseadh na Faire — April 11, 2007 @ 6:26 pm
Brilliant!
April 11th, 2007 at 6:46 pmThank you Briseadh na Faire….LOL………..:)
April 11th, 2007 at 6:48 pmAnd sobering up quickly, this is all to real.
Give any lower level law enforcement personnel half a chance to elevate their statistics and their careers, and they’ll take (or make it up)
I’ve run into EMT’s who think they are suddenly Department of Homeland Security goons………….
The whole climate of fear and threat levels has given any guy with a Bush 04 bumper sticker and a sixpack the belief he can bully us ol’ hipsters around……….
There’s a whole lot of WMD’s in Colorado Springs.
April 11th, 2007 at 6:54 pmDoes this earn me enough for a GTO? Candy Apple Red, please.
(It’s never to late to have a happy childhood….;)
Raven,
What are the EMTs doing that makes you say they behave like HS goons?
April 11th, 2007 at 7:22 pmI watched a couple of them at an accident, and they seemed very interested in the contents of the vehicles. Inordinately so. The cops were there, they really had no business other than tending to the survivors, whom they ignored after the injured ones were sent off in another ambulance.
April 11th, 2007 at 7:35 pmThat’s strange, Raven. Smack a uniform on some people, and they think they’re in charge of the world.
April 11th, 2007 at 7:39 pmI ran into another EMT, who I knew from the town, while I was set up at an art fair.
April 11th, 2007 at 7:41 pmHe wandered up and down the aisles of booths, and especially up and down behind the displays, trying to be casual about his obvious ‘casing’.
I made a little poke at him about it, he got defensive and made a remark about bohemian artists.
I let him have it, called him out on what he was doing, in front of numerous artists and patrons.
He quickly split.
I felt so good…………;)
He quickly split.
I felt so good…………;)
Comment by Raven
Good for you! Where on earth do they get the idea they can do that crap? I wonder if people have been reported, but we just haven’t heard about it yet — or realized it.
April 11th, 2007 at 7:56 pmYeah, we can just chillax now. We’ve got citizens on patrol.
April 11th, 2007 at 7:59 pmLet’s all narc on our neighbors. It worked so well in 1938 Germany.
April 11th, 2007 at 11:53 pmI WOULDN’T PISS ON THE FBI and Mueller IF THEY WERE ON FIRE AND SCREAMING FOR HELP!!!!!
April 12th, 2007 at 12:55 amFind WMD where? In the US or Iraq? If Iraq, then send Sen. McCain and Traitor Joe Lieberman to find it?!
April 12th, 2007 at 1:16 amHi, I’m from the Fuller Brush Institute, and you look like a smart, discerning shopper with impeccerable taste…
April 12th, 2007 at 1:24 amFBI wants your help finding WMD.
A no-brainer in the USA. There are behind every corner. And many unsecured.
April 12th, 2007 at 9:11 amSweet! Maybe we can spend more precious resources finding completely benign objects and waste local bomb squads time detonating them a la the Cartoon Network ATHF LED sign debacle. The other day I saw a school zone speed limit sign with a flashing yellow light on it. I could have sworn there was a nice big yellow box containing the light. I bet it has a bomb in it.
April 12th, 2007 at 1:21 pm