Think Progress

God speaks to Tom DeLay.

By Nico Pitney on May 29th, 2007 at 8:49 pm

God speaks to Tom DeLay.

From the new issue of the New Yorker:

DeLay says that when, in the coming years, he is not fighting the indictment in Texas (he insists that he is not guilty) he will be building a conservative grass-roots equivalent of MoveOn.org. “God has spoken to me,” he said. “I listen to God, and what I’ve heard is that I’m supposed to devote myself to rebuilding the conservative base of the Republican Party, and I think we shouldn’t be underestimated.”



99 Responses to “God speaks to Tom DeLay.”

  1. Namtillaku says:

    Queue Laurel & Hardy music.


  2. big papa says:

    Don’t fool yourself Tom…

    …it was the collective primal cacophonies of…

    …all those dead insects…


  3. proudleftists says:

    It would guess that it was ” horned god “.


  4. Zooey says:

  5. maddison66 says:

    More proof that DeLay is nuttier than squirrel sh**


  6. maddison66 says:

    oops…i guess using the poo word is not acceptable. Lets try this again…

    More proof that DeLay is nuttier than squirrel poo…!!!!


  7. Jay Randal says:

    LOL Satan talks to Delay and he thinks he speaks to God.


  8. gimmeabreak says:

    God shoulda told him not to break laws.


  9. Blue Girl, Red State says:

    You know, there are people in psychiatric lockups throughout the land, to whom God speaks.

    Just sayin.’


  10. the republic of stupidity says:

    It was “Dog”. (Tom is lysdexic…)


  11. gorn by any other name says:

    *** snort ***

    Hammer, you’re such a tool.


  12. satnin says:

    His rug glue is finally seeping through his skull and into his brain.


  13. Jim says:

    God is not a Republican.


  14. GSD says:

    I am pretty sure Tom got Punk’d by Ashton Kutcher using a wireless speaker and microphone hidden in a houseplant.

    -GSD


  15. Namtillaku says:

    LOL Satan talks to Delay and he thinks he speaks to God.

    Comment by Jay Randal — May 29, 2007 @ 9:01 pm

    Yeah, how would you know? Especially if the devil was telling you things you wanted to hear; such as he’s “supposed to devote myself to rebuilding the conservative base of the Republican Party”. So God is specifically interested in the republican party, eh? Nah, my money is on the devil.


  16. flex says:

    typical BS from a Narcissist. any spiritual person can confirm if God speaks to you, you devote your life to service in helping ALL others.
    this fake says he hears God speak and he goes on to promote Power and Greed for the select few, Republicans. ???


  17. seth says:

    I’m sorry, “conservative base,” or the “nutcase” base? Sounds to me like it’s the latter.


  18. Keith says:

    Did God also promise him that one day he’d be tall enough to ride roller coasters?


  19. USA says:

    Judging my conservative “values” which only consist of controling other people, you were probably talking to Satan…that GOD.


  20. fairyduster says:

    I don’t think Jesus or his Dad would approve Tom.

    You are on their shit list.


  21. bob (not the hacker) says:

    tom, that’s not god, that is the echo of your own insane mutterings bouncing around in your empty head.


  22. David Berkowitz says:

    Did ‘Harvey the dog’ speak to you too Tom?


  23. david says:

    Strange. Throughout the Bible, God rarely speaks. Indeed, after Moses, God prefers to work through Prophets.

    I take it DeLay knows about not bearing false testimony or they neighbors votes?

    Perhaps he needs to suffer a bit for the Lord. It’s said to work wonders.


  24. -jay i- says:

    I guess our favorite ex-exterminator and crook has figured another way to con the wacko base out of major dollars—talking to god! Soon he’ll be back on the golf courses, eating in the steakhouses, and rolling in dough. Right-wing pockets seem to be bottomless, and totally gullible.


  25. Eargy Earp says:

    God did speak to Tom Delay and he said….

    “Tom, why did you keep little girls enslaved in labor camps in Saipan while receiving gifts from those who enslaved them?

    “Tom, why do you value corrupt cronyism instead of truth and freedom?

    “For your false lipped loyalties to big money, thou shalt be thrown to the demons and your suffering everlasting”

    “Oh yeah, one more thing, Tom, stop pretending I am telling you what you should do, you son of Satan. The only way you would EVER listen to me, is if I waved money in front of your crooked nose.”


  26. gummitch says:

    Tom, I was just talking with God a few minutes ago, and he says you’re a lying tool. You should know that he’s really sick of all your whining and that he stopped blasting people into carbon several thousand years ago, so stop asking. And, no, he has no interest in increasing the size of your junk; in fact, he thinks you’re already the biggest dick around.


  27. barrelhse says:

  28. Anderson says:

    god spoke to me one time. I was on a spiritual quest and…ah, oh, wait a minute, that was during the 60’s, maybe it had something to do with purple haze or window pane or sunshine.


  29. elemgee says:

    Word for the Day:


  30. elemgee says:

    Word for the Day:

    BALLSACK.


  31. big papa says:

    It was “Dog”. (Tom is lysdexic…)

    Comment by the republic of stupidity #10

    God is not a Republican.

    Comment by Jim #13

    …”Dog” IS Republican…

    …mystery solved…


  32. Patrick says:

    #26 ditto…and let me add one thing…Tom Delay is a peckerhead.


  33. Patrick says:

    Where are the chimpy leg humpers on DeCay?? I dare say they protect worse characters (maybe). :-)


  34. E.F. Hutton says:

    When God speaks……. wackos listen


  35. Kid Clu says:

    Translation: Tom needs money to pay his legal fees. The quickest way for Cons to raise money is to play the “God Card”.

    There will be a mad scramble of other Cons “talking to God” because of the death of Faldwell…They are all smelling easy money to be had by taking his place.


  36. Zooey says:

    Does Tommy Boy still have open comments on his blog?

    We need to freep his ass — again.


  37. Mimi Schaeffer says:

    And let us not forget that he wants to be just like Moveon.org when he grows up.


  38. nofltwlt says:

    Let me know when this ass-wipe builds an ark or is indicted. Until then he is less and less relevant.


  39. lonesomerobot says:

    i believe him. god’s tired of these whackos hijacking the message so he’s appointed the bugman to finish the job of destroying the republican party.


  40. Namtillaku says:

    You’ve probably all already seen this semi-related story, but it’s worth seeing if you haven’t…

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2007/05/29/delay-explains-how-his-ad_n_49824.html

    I especially like the bit about, “He added, “Also, I had returned to Christ and repented my sins by that time.”

    I guess christ is like a get out of jail free card. Marital infidelity? No problem, return to christ and repent your sins.


  41. nofltwlt says:

    Tom Delay has become less and less relevant. Let me know when he has built and floated an ark or has been indicted.


  42. God says:

    Hey Tom, I didn’t say you needed grass roots I said cement boots


  43. NeoCONS 'R' SCUM says:

    Bwaaaa-HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Cletus, you’ll be lucky you aren’t in jay-uhl for money laundering with your waesley little-prick buddies Grover Norquist and the elfen one Ralph Reed- hoping them sadistic prison guards don’t play matchmaker every night


  44. Daryll says:

    Libs, cease mocking Tom. Tom made a mistake, gave his life to Christ and he now has an intimate relationship with Jesus. You libs are envious because you don’t have that type of relationship with God. The bible says, “seek ye first the kingdom of God”.


  45. Jackie says:

    Rev. Farwell spoke to God and asked for twenty more years of live to complete the job, he said God said yes. Weeks later Rev. Farwell dead.
    So much for who Farwell spoke to but it sure wasn’t God. Now DeLay much be talking to the same person and my bet is it’s Satan. Knowing the sins he’s committed and the lies he’s told Satan must have alot GOP and White House workers his talking to now. It’s a shame the christians can’t tell Satan from God. As Christians follow the Satan workers yet calm they didn’t know. Pastors have lied, cheated and stole all in the name of God.


  46. Zooey says:

    Libs, cease mocking Tom. Tom made a mistake, gave his life to Christ and he now has an intimate relationship with Jesus. You libs are envious because you don’t have that type of relationship with God. The bible says, “seek ye first the kingdom of God”.
    Comment by Daryll

    Shut it, Daryll.


  47. AboveTheClouds says:

    Is that the same “Tom Delay” who wrote the book “No Retreat, No Surrender” that documneted his own retreat (he left the House in disgrace) and surrender (he lost his House seat to a Democrat)? Maybe the first thing he should do is just go away and take his corrupt ass with him. While he’s at it he can take Gingrich and Kristol with him.


  48. Pat Robertson says:

    TOM……you Piker

    I’ve had a direct Hot-Line to God for years


  49. Briseadh na Faire says:

    “God” only speaks to Republicans now.

    It’s something to do with the Rites at the Bohemian Grove….


  50. Ginko says:

    Daryl

    Wonder if he speaks in tongues? He speaks with a forked tongue, that much we know.

    “repenting” is nothing more than ducking responsibility for your actions.
    He’s going to jail where he belongs. He can talk to god there while he is paying for his actions.


  51. God says:

    Hey guys, all I told him was “Cut it out.” Maybe he didn’t get it.


  52. Lee says:

    Just issue Herr Hammer his orange jumpsuit and 8×9 cell, and be done with it!


  53. WaltTheMan says:

    God’s three words to Tom Delay – “Go to Hell”.


  54. gummitch says:

    Libs, cease mocking Tom. Tom made a mistake, gave his life to Christ and he now has an intimate relationship with Jesus. You libs are envious because you don’t have that type of relationship with God. The bible says, “seek ye first the kingdom of God”.

    Comment by Daryll

    And you know this because . . .

    First of all Tom hasn’t admitted making any mistakes at all. It’s all someone else’s fault, he’s been persecuted, he’s as innocent as a newborn babe.

    You have no idea whether he has an intimate relationship with his own wife, much less whether he’s got one with Jesus. Just because he says he has chats with God, you’re going to believe him? Mohammed had chats with God, too, on a fairly regular basis. Who are you going to believe?


  55. Ashen Shard says:

    Intimate relationship with Jesus? I wonder if he’s chafing from being spirit filled.


  56. TerrytheTurtle says:

    “I would like to thank Providence and the Almighty for choosing me of all people to be allowed to wage this battle” – Adolph Hitler

    Never trust anyone who claims that God speaks to them – they are probably a sociopath or a maniac or both. In any case, they are dangerous.


  57. Lee says:

    I posted this one on a previous topic, but it bears repeating.

    Tom Delay. A televangelist. It makes no difference.

    (again I quote the band Genesis):

    You see the face on the tv screen
    Coming at you every sunday
    See that face on the billboard
    That man is me

    On the cover of the magazine
    Theres no question why Im smiling
    You buy a piece of paradise
    You buy a piece of me

    Ill get you everything you wanted
    Ill get you everything you need
    Dont need to believe in hereafter
    Just believe in me

    Cos jesus he knows me
    And he knows Im right
    Ive been talking to jesus all my life
    Oh yes he knows me
    And he knows Im right
    And hes been telling me
    Everything is alright

    I believe in the family
    With my ever loving wife beside me
    But she dont know about my girlfriend
    Or the man I met last night

    Do you believe in god
    Cos thats what Im selling
    And if you wanna get to heaven
    Ill see you right

    You wont even have to leave your house
    Or get outta your chair
    You dont even have to touch that dial
    Cos Im everywhere

    And jesus he knows me
    And he knows Im right
    Ive been talking to jesus all my life
    Oh yes he knows me
    And he knows Im right
    Well hes been telling me
    Everythings gonna be alright

    Wont find me practising what Im preaching
    Wont find me making no sacrifice
    But I can get you a pocketful of miracles
    If you promise to be good, try to be nice
    God will take good care of you
    Just do as I say, dont do as I do

    Im counting my blessings,
    Ive found true happiness
    Cos Im getting richer, day by day
    You can find me in the phone book,
    Just call my toll free number
    You can do it anyway you want
    Just do it right away

    Therell be no doubt in your mind
    Youll believe everything Im saying
    If you wanna get closer to him
    Get on your knees and start paying

    Cos jesus he knows me
    And he knows Im right
    Ive been talking to jesus all my life
    Oh yes he knows me
    And he knows Im right
    Well hes been telling me
    Everythings gonna be alright, alright

    Jesus he knows me
    Jesus he knows me, you know…


  58. TerrytheTurtle says:

    Good call Lee. I was off looking for some Chumbawumba on the subject, but this nails it.


  59. Ashen Shard says:

    Comment by TerrytheTurtle — May 29, 2007 @ 10:36 pm

    Also remember that politicians who invoke God are just using the invocation for their political advantage. Hitler did it, and DeLay is doing it because he knows it is the Christian Conservatives that will support him, if anyone does. What is even more interesting is the Nazi’s under Hitler dismantled the power of all churches and were in the process of making the state the religion.


  60. Wayne says:

    Yeah he talks to the god of this bible.


  61. kipmartin says:

    my dad was a minister and he told me the metal hospitals were full of people who caimed God was talking to them.

    this guy is confusing the voice of his ego with God’s voice.


  62. Wayne says:

    (again I quote the band Genesis):
    – Lee

    I love that song, Heh.


  63. TerrytheTurtle says:

    Ashen – Hitler’s relationship with the Church is a complex one and is not simply described, but I think the basic cynicism of the American Christo-Fascists and the Nazis is very similar.

    http://www.rense.com/general57/bushgo.htm


  64. Wayne says:

    I think the basic cynicism of the American Christo-Fascists and the Nazis is very similar.
    —- TerrytheTurtle

    Agreed.


  65. Angry One says:

    Tom Delay compares himself to Jesus Christ:

    - “Let people see Christ through me.”

    - “People hate the messenger. That’s why they killed Christ.”


  66. Jeffrey Stewart says:

    Talking to God is fine. But when someone hears God talking to him or her, then he or she is certifiably insane!


  67. pgw says:

    since when is there a problem with the republican base? that 30% is well represented.


  68. david says:

    It’s disturbing that the question What Would Jesus Do? is asked again and again by Born Again Christians. And the answers they come up with are so hollow and trivial. It usually involves business or shopping.

    This should be a profound and troubling question. Anyone familiar with the Gospels knows Jesus rattled the Church and the State and the Merchants. Jesus said Love thy enemies. Jesus said Do not Judge. Jesus threw the moneychangers out of the Temple.

    What Republicans need to accept is that Jesus did not think the rich had much hope of getting into Heaven. He told a rich young man to sell all he had and to give it to the poor.

    I don’t think poor Daryll gets it. A careful reading of the Gospels will show that there is no sure way to salvation. And that we must treat each person as if he or she were Jesus in need.

    One of the more profound spiritual comments I’ve read was a story from the Warsaw ghetto. The Nazis had rounded up a half dozen Jews to make an example and hanged them. One of the victims was a mere boy not yet 12. He was so young that the noose didn’t break his neck and flailed about as he swung from the rope. Two Jews watched in horror and the one said “Where is God?” And the other said “He is here. He is here before us –a young boy dying at the end of a rope.”


  69. Jackie says:

    Rev. Farwell spoke to God before he died now Tom is talking to Him. Can someone as Tom God’s phone number so the rest of us can talk to him too.
    Now if it’s really Satan Tom is passing off as God forget it I don’t want that number.


  70. e coli says:

    ah, tom delay…. anyone here remember that wonderful sunday we had together????


  71. Zooey says:

    Two Jews watched in horror and the one said “Where is God?” And the other said “He is here. He is here before us –a young boy dying at the end of a rope.”
    Comment by david

    I’ve heard that before, david. Very moving.


  72. Zooey says:

    ah, tom delay…. anyone here remember that wonderful sunday we had together????
    Comment by e coli

    I DO!!

    Hi, j. :)


  73. e coli says:

    hi, z!

    that was a great day! :)

    i smile every time i think about it…


  74. Zooey says:

    Heh. I can’t believe you still have that blog entry saved, j. :-D

    Sweet memories….


  75. Shawn Fassett says:

    God speaks to Tom? That’s cool…I just tend to speak to myself when I’m totally loaded.


  76. JPark says:

    Tom, that isn’t God, you moron.


  77. wmholt says:

    Tom Delay ought to look up what Jesus had to say about hypocrites.

    Tom Delay has a narcissistic, sociopathic personality disorder. He has grandiose thoughts, believes he is incapable of being wrong, and yet does nothing but harm wherever he treads. He lacks a conscience, and does not feel the normal pangs and regrets when he lies, or injures someone for his own benefit.

    Yes, Tom. God combed the Earth and searched for an upright man that would not do what was right in his own eyes, but who would only serve as a humble instrument of God’s mercy, His healing, and His peace. And guess what? He chose you! You must be quite a guy! Good luck with that “humble instrument” book tour!

    I have to admit, I took pleasure in seeing Tom Delay on the Colbert Report. Tom was just dazed and confused. He just kept smiling, never really sure if Stephen was taking a jab at him, or was actually agreeing with him.

    Stephen took the hight road. He saw that he was dealing with an intellectually handicapped person, and took it very easy on Tom Delay during their interview.


  78. Largo says:

    You go, Tom!

    Beat that indictment and launch http://www.wereclulesspiecesofshit.org

    Jesus says so!

    Drop dead, splinterdick.


  79. Danielle in Indiana says:

    I’d like to pass this little piece of wisdom on to The Disgraced Congressman from Texas – When you talk to God, it’s called prayer. When God talks to you it’s called schizophrenia. Seek Help Immediately.


  80. Perry Logan says:

    It’s LUCIFER disguised as Jesus, Tom! Jesus says to gerrymander the districts…


  81. nofltwlt says:

    Tom Delay should hope that God does not speak to him. If he did speak to Delay, God would say, Tom you are going straight to hell.


  82. Coffins draped with Flags says:

    What’s he trying to do, steal Pat Robertson’s thunder? Hey, Tom, Pat’s the boss not you.

    http://www.paenergyfest.com/


  83. Lacy says:

    Sorry Tom, Fox News has already been created.


  84. celtic cynic says:

    Ah yes, so sad. Totally out of his mind – must be another visit with the Green Fairies. George Bush also claims to have conversations with God.I suspect they’re smokin’ the same stuff or enjoying the same peyote.


  85. wisedup says:

    so..a…how long have you been hearing voices..mr delay?


  86. Keith H. says:

    First they’re hearing God speak.

    Next they’ll be . . . . ‘doing it to protect our children’.


  87. Kate Henry says:

    If God speaks to Tom Delay and thinks that the RepubliCON party is the answer to all our ills, then all I can say is heaven help us.

    I am not a particularly religious person, but everything I have read about Christianity tells me that God would be horrified by the things this RepubliCON party stands for and would be particularly horrified by Tom Delay.


  88. buckles says:

    Interesting. In my childhood, I had the experience of Bible lessons from Jehovah’s Witnesses. It terrified me. The gist of it was that you cannot trust anyone outside the faith, because Satan takes many forms, and could be disguised as a loving pastor or priest giving you the wrong information. Tommy, are you absolutely sure you’re hearing the message from God?

    Take responsibility for yourself. If you want to start up a neo-Christian Conservative movement, do it. I have a hard time believeing Christ would join the club (or even be admitted for that matter), so laying it on The Deity is b.s., dishonest, and cowardly.


  89. Zippy the Other Pinhead says:

    “Tom? This is God. STFU!!!”


  90. Thomas Mc says:

    You’d think the smell of sulfur would have tipped him off. That wasn’t God…


  91. Marie says:

    Delay is delusional — he’s hearing voices.


  92. Buck Fush says:

    Hate to break it to him….the magical invisible guy in the sky does not exist…it’s made up, religion was made up when the first Charlatan met the first Fool.

    Delay is out of his mind…if anyone (Bush) says that god is talking to them is a liar, what doesn’t exist cannot talk to them.

    Evolution, floor 6 please.


  93. celtic cynic says:

    Hate to break it to you, folks, but this looks like his announcement to run for U.S. president in 2008.
    Early cabinet choices include Pat Robertson for Secretary of Education, Jeff Skilling for Secretary of the Treasury, Richard Scrushy for Secretary of Justice… More choices later, stay tuned.
    And, if you want to keep this wonderful ministry going, just send money, cash preferred, to either of his homes in DC or Texas.


  94. Parrotlover77 says:

    God spoke to me and said, “Where the hell did I go wrong? I left a book and everything! Can’t those morons read?!”


  95. sue says:

    I wish god would tell him to move to Canada.


  96. dave says:

    I second what Parrotlover said. It’s always weird to me when people say that ‘God’ told them to start things like this. Where in the bible do things like this happen?
    Now if Tom Delay said God told me to give away all of my money to help close the 19 billion dollar deficit in spending for world hunger (see: theborgenproject.org) and go work at a refugee camp in Darfur I would believe him (maybe), but start a conservative grassroot website? I think that’s last night’s pizza.


  97. Jim says:

    did`t Rove excuse himself shortly before Delay`s revelation ?


  98. Jim says:

    Hey! i believe him if he say`s god spoke to him why would i doub….. huh god is that you? yes Master.


  99. Jim says:

    Hey! I believe him, if he says god spoke to then why would I dou huh God is that you ? yes Lord I shall do thy bidding.



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