Cheney diagnosed with irregular heartbeat.
By on Nov 26th, 2007 at 4:16 pm
Cheney diagnosed with irregular heartbeat.
While examining him recently for “a lingering cough from a cold,” doctors discovered that Vice President Dick Cheney was “found to have an irregular heartbeat, which on further testing was determined to be atrial fibrillation, an abnormal rhythm involving the upper chambers of the heart.” Cheney, who has a history of heart problems, will be evaluated at George Washington University Hospital.
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Breaking News: Dick Cheney Has A Heart
November 26th, 2007 at 4:17 pmHis evil is overriding his pacemaker.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:18 pmMy parents always taught me that if you can’t say anything nice, not to say anything at all. Although I may disregard this advice from time to time and give in to the snark; I think that I will let this pass without comment.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:20 pmImpossible! How can he have an irregular anything when he never had a regular one? I guess the alternatives are a regular beat none at all.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:21 pmOn the other hand… can we impeach Bush now?
November 26th, 2007 at 4:21 pmHe should go to Walter Reed.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:22 pmDon’t worry, all they need to do is replace his Di-lithium crystals.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:23 pm“Cheney diagnosed with irregular heartbeat”
Naahh!! Too easy!
November 26th, 2007 at 4:24 pmEverything about this creep is irregular, right down to his Sam’s Club 3-for-$10 BVDs
November 26th, 2007 at 4:25 pmWow. Dick Cheney has a heart…?
Coulda fooled me.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:25 pmand Tom Friedman wants him to stay on as VP as someone’s enforcer? I’m surprised he hasn’t cacked already.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:25 pmHe’s more machine now than man; twisted and evil.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:27 pmI want Cheney to live long enough to stand trial at The Hague.
As far as irregular heartbeats go, afib isn’t that big a deal. He might have to go on Inderol and take a nap from time to time. Of course they can always put a few hundred Joules into his chest to cardiovert him.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:28 pmI would just prefer that if they hit him with the paddles, they don’t sedate him first. Ouch!
November 26th, 2007 at 4:29 pmthis might be the excuse for him to retire so we can impeach George eh?…
November 26th, 2007 at 4:29 pmIs it possible that we could see VP Guiliani fairly soon? Already the “front-runner”–why not give him the bully pulpit. I sudder to think it…
November 26th, 2007 at 4:29 pm$10 says when Cheney comes out of the hospital still alive, he will continue to say that government-run healthcare isn’t the answer to America’s healthcare problem despite his own use of it…
November 26th, 2007 at 4:30 pmEarly last year, Thom Hartman predicted that Cheney would find a way to resign for health reasons and be replaced by someone with a shot at running for Pres like Condi Rice. We’ll see.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:34 pmCheck that. It was early in 2007 that Hartman made his prediction.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:34 pmI wonder who his health insurance is through? I’m sure he doesn’t want medical care that is paid for by (gasp!) the government …
November 26th, 2007 at 4:38 pmCondi run for President? That would be downright funny.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:38 pmCongratulations, you guys! All these posts wishing Cheney dead will no doubt make Think Progress, already “one of the most dangerous organizations in Americaâ€, even more famous.
You people are making the Reich Wingers’ job much too easy!
November 26th, 2007 at 4:40 pmDon’t wish Cheney be dead, it’s just not very nice. And we know how far playing nice will get…
November 26th, 2007 at 4:42 pmIf I knew I was in danger of being convicted of treason my heartbeat would be irregular too.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:43 pmYou people are making the Reich Wingers’ job much too easy!
Comment by boreas — November 26, 2007 @ 4:40 pm
#
Well, kissing their a$$ doesn’t work too well either, just ask the Log Cabin Republicans. Not to mention the numerous times I’ve seen Reich Wingers do the same to the left.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:44 pmYou people are making the Reich Wingers’ job much too easy!
Comment by boreas — November 26, 2007 @ 4:40 pm
Hey boring, your concern is nauseating.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:44 pmThis just in:
November 26th, 2007 at 4:47 pmCheney Disagrees with Irregular Heartbeat-
The Vice President, upon being told of an irregular heartbeat by his physicians, immediately fired them.
“I disagreed with their diagnosis, and have sent two to GITMO for re-education”, the Vice President said.
get ready pelosi
November 26th, 2007 at 4:48 pmQuestion for the Doctors here. Possible Lung Cancer ?
November 26th, 2007 at 4:49 pmCNN has the Cheney irregular heartbeat story on their news “Ticker”.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:51 pm☺☺☺☺☺
If I knew I was in danger of being convicted of treason my heartbeat would be irregular too.
Comment by Shayne — November 26, 2007 @ 4:43 pm
Unfortunately, Dick Cheney is in very little danger of having to answer for any of his actions. The Democrats in Congress have pretty much rolled over and announced that the worst thing they are going to do to hold anyone in this administration accountable for anything is to send them an occasional sternly worded letter.
Dick will make it to the end of his term and then retire from political office. If we’re lucky, he’ll retire into obscurity. If we’re not so lucky, he’ll go the Trent Lott route.
And if he goes away quietly, interest in impeachment and/or prosecution will quickly fade. The new leaders will say “we need to put this behind us” and the short attention-spanned Americans will agree. Thus Cheney will be permitted to live out the remainder of his days in comfort.
And when Cheney finally expires, his funeral will probably have as much impact on America as Spiro Agnew’s did.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:52 pmNo one here, who is a true “Progressive”, and not a “Troll”, wishes cheney dead; only prosecuted and jailed.
November 26th, 2007 at 4:53 pmNo one here, who is a true “Progressiveâ€, and not a “Trollâ€, wishes cheney dead; only prosecuted and jailed.
Comment by helenahandbasket
Then there are a lot of namejacking trolls on this thread.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:00 pm#41 Comment by helenahandbasket — November 26, 2007 @ 4:53 pm
November 26th, 2007 at 5:00 pmI must agree. We have enough wishing of death and violence today.
Everything Cheney does is calculated – everything. Even a heart murmur must be approved beforehand.
We here at TP don’t want Cheney to die, we just want him impeached.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:04 pmI’ll only speak for myself. I don’t wish Cheney dead. I do wish he was impeached. I wish that his private energy meeting would become public. I wish the american people see this administration as the missleaders they are but I don’t wish Cheney death.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:05 pmCan we at least make fun of him?
November 26th, 2007 at 5:06 pmCan we at least make fun of him?
November 26th, 2007 at 5:09 pmYes, Bobwurst. See #36
if i could….i would be hiding in every dark corner that i could find…waiting to jump out and BOO cheney.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:09 pmHis heart is irregular all right. That is for sure.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:10 pmare they sure it’s irregular?
November 26th, 2007 at 5:11 pmperhaps it’s a completely normal rhythm for a heart that pumps molten sulfur.
I don’t know if cardiologists have a test for that.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:15 pmI suggest Metamucil for most symptoms of irregularity. But, in Cheney’s case it is highly recommended.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:15 pmCongratulations, you guys! All these posts wishing Cheney dead will no doubt make Think Progress, already “one of the most dangerous organizations in Americaâ€, even more famous.
You people are making the Reich Wingers’ job much too easy!
Comment by boreas — November 26, 2007 @ 4:40 pm
Point out who posted wishing Cheny was dead…..
I read all the posts previous to your comment and did not find one.
Does that mean you are a liar?
November 26th, 2007 at 5:19 pmShow me the post you are talking about or retract your lie.
I suggest Metamucil for most symptoms of irregularity. But, in Cheney’s case it is highly recommended.
Comment by leftcoast
Ummm, so you’re suggesting Cheney’s heart is full of crap? In his veins runs hot stinky poo?
November 26th, 2007 at 5:20 pmre: 38
Great!
November 26th, 2007 at 5:21 pmHow many cheneys does it take to change a lightbulb?
What? it’s not dark! why do you hate America?
Man, Dick has one foot in the grave and the other foot on a banana peel. Daddy Warbucks is certainly on borrowed time. But, when you do wrong to people, it comes back to bite you in the ass. His stolen money can buy him the best healthcare. But, he can’t take the money with him when he leaves this earth.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:23 pmI wish Cheny a long life, trial, then conviction, with a sentence of 1000 years in prison.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:24 pmwhen he does finally die of natural causes, embalm/preserve him, then prop him up in a corner of his cell for the rest of the sentence.
“His stolen money can buy him the best healthcare.”
Unless you’re referring to our tax dollars, he isn’t paying for anything with his stolen dollars.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:24 pmDoes that mean you are a liar?
Show me the post you are talking about or retract your lie.
Comment by Wayne — November 26, 2007 @ 5:19 pm
There were some pretty nasty ones earlier. They appear to have been deleted. I didn’t recognize the monikers.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:25 pmHow many cheneys does it take to change a lightbulb?
What? it’s not dark! why do you hate America?
Comment by Bobwurst — November 26, 2007 @ 5:21 pm
November 26th, 2007 at 5:28 pmKnock Knock.
Who’s there.
Me.
Me, who?
Me, Dick Cheney, I kill you…..or I send you to GITMO. (in the voice of Jeff Dunham, and “Achmed, the Dead Terrorist”)
Comment by ProDem
There you go, Wayne
November 26th, 2007 at 5:28 pmThere were some pretty nasty ones earlier. They appear to have been deleted. I didn’t recognize the monikers.
Comment by Zooey — November 26, 2007 @ 5:25 pm
Hopefully they were banned too, then.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:28 pmComment by ProDem
There you go, Wayne
Comment by Wilco — November 26, 2007 @ 5:28 pm
never seen that moniker before, must be a troll.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:30 pmComment by ProDem — November 26, 2007 @ 5:26 pm
November 26th, 2007 at 5:30 pmOh, for god’s sake. Do you know how stupid you sound?
Hopefully they were banned too, then.
Comment by Wayne — November 26, 2007 @ 5:28 pm
That “Pro Dem” was one of them. Troll in disguise.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:32 pmComment by ProDem — November 26, 2007 @ 5:26 pm
Oh, for god’s sake. Do you know how stupid you sound?
Comment by leftcoast — November 26, 2007 @ 5:30 pm
Trolls usually don’t realize they are stupid. It’s part of what makes them, well, stupid =)
Everyone flag that troll.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:34 pmwhen he does finally die of natural causes, embalm/preserve him, then prop him up in a corner of his cell for the rest of the sentence.
Comment by Wayne — November 26, 2007 @ 5:24 pm
that won’t be necessary. he’s not biodegradable. he’s not made of the same stuff as you and me. he’s composed of sulfur and lead, predominantly.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:37 pmComment by boreas — November 26, 2007 @ 4:40 pm
Interesting.
Defend a man who is the banner of war profiteers. Defend the life status of a man who has shown no compassion, no remorse towards our maimed, killed troops and their families. We want Cheney out of office for the sake of our survival as a nation, even if that means hoping for his death by natural causes.
Listen to ‘boreas’, everybody! Listen to the next P sockpuppet desperate to “get one up” on progressives.
I would never give my life for the Andre Linoge of the United States and his smelly, shriveled wife just so they can profit and spout wingnut propaganda. The troops shouldn’t have to, either.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:38 pmPerhaps those Cheney-haters were simply channeling Ann Coulter, Michael Savage Weiner and the rest of the reichwing. Those guys pop out deathwishes like clockwork.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:45 pmMy post wasn’t offensive and got deleted, WTF? Just was saying that Santa is real and giving out early presents this year.
Bush/Cheney
Hague Trials ‘09
Buck Fush
November 26th, 2007 at 5:47 pmLeftside Annie,
November 26th, 2007 at 5:48 pmand may we all rise to a greater “channel” than Ann Coulter and the rest of her ilk.
That’s so depressing. I’ve got the same medical condition as Dick Cheney. Soooooooo depressing.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:51 pmBush/Cheney
Hague Trials ‘09
Buck Fush
You kick ass.
November 26th, 2007 at 5:53 pmThat’s so depressing. I’ve got the same medical condition as Dick Cheney. Soooooooo depressing.
Comment by gummitch — November 26, 2007 @ 5:51 pm
At least you don’t have anything else resembling Cheney. :)
November 26th, 2007 at 5:55 pmdoctors discovered that Vice President Dick Cheney was “found to have an irregular heartbeat…….and that when exposed to garlic he curled up in the corner hissing at them. They thought it quite a scientific curiosity.
November 26th, 2007 at 6:00 pmI urge everyone to keep your fingers crossed; which is a symbol of wishful thinking – I can see only two trains of thought here.
November 26th, 2007 at 6:05 pmgummitch, I think it’s only a problem if you have more than one condition in common with Cheney. So if you had the same heart condition and, say, you have a penchant for shooting your friends in the face, then that would be a problem.
November 26th, 2007 at 6:07 pmThis happens when a werewolf’s heart is placed in a half-human!
November 26th, 2007 at 6:08 pmFor those of you who think it is wrong to wish all the worst for Dick Cheney, I think you it is wrong of you to think that we should not wish him gone. He, along with Bush, the GOP and the neocons, have squandered the health, wealth and security of our nation and deserves no sympathy from any person on this earth. He has lied to Americans to start an ill-conceived war, he has outed a valuable CIA operative, he has condoned voter fraud, he has politicized governement agencies.
Dick Cheney is evil. Is it wrong to wish to be rid of such evil?
If we were an ancient culture we would probably jump at the chance to sacrifice Dick Cheney to roll back global warming, reinstate voters right to freely choose their representatives and right all the wrongs of Cheney, Bush and the GOP.
If Cheney’s heart stopped tonight, does anyone think it would have one iota of a negative affect on this country? Or, would it have a positive affect? We need a poll.
November 26th, 2007 at 6:32 pmDick Cheney is evil. Is it wrong to wish to be rid of such evil?
Comment by nofltwlt — November 26, 2007 @ 6:32 pm
No more so than wishing that Hitler died at birth!!!!
November 26th, 2007 at 7:15 pmWith no disrepect who cares.
November 26th, 2007 at 7:18 pmIf you can exite him enough, he’ll shit the bed. Tell him george bombed Tehran, and we’ll kiss his ass goodbye.
November 26th, 2007 at 7:53 pmCouldn’t be sooon enough.
Dick Cheney is responsible for the death of thousands of Americans. Who cares if he croaks? He probably believes it won’t ever happen to him, but science can only do so much to prolong his life – Of course these folks are all for science when it extends their lives, when it helps others, not so much.
November 26th, 2007 at 7:59 pmHe has an irregular heartbeat? What does that mean–that it’s actually beating? I wouldn’t wish ill on another human being; so, it’s safe to wish ill of him.
November 26th, 2007 at 8:19 pmWhere did Chaney find this heart. It sounds like it was in not very good used condition. Perhaps he should send it back for a refund.
November 26th, 2007 at 8:32 pmThat’s what happens when you have a heart and you don’t use it. It eventually gives up on you. Couldn’t happen to a nicer guy.
November 26th, 2007 at 8:33 pmCongratulations, you guys! All these posts wishing Cheney dead will no doubt make Think Progress, already “one of the most dangerous organizations in Americaâ€, even more famous.
You people are making the Reich Wingers’ job much too easy!
Comment by boreas
Unless TP is deleting posts, not one post before yours wished Chaney dead. Many question whether or not he actually has a heart, but not one wish for him to die. So which is it, did TP delete posts or are you a lying sack of sh|t?
November 26th, 2007 at 8:44 pmThis one does…
November 26th, 2007 at 8:46 pmDIE, YOU MOTHERFU(KER, DIE!
There were some pretty nasty ones earlier. They appear to have been deleted. I didn’t recognize the monikers.
Comment by Zooey
Sounds like the typical RNC Troll Strategy, send in a ringer to say nasty things so that TP will get a bad reputation. Those posts were undoubtedly captured and will show up on O’Reilly and other Talking Liar shows as proof that we are all “haters” as Billo likes to say. Billo, the biggest liar on the planet.
November 26th, 2007 at 8:47 pmEveryday I pray that Dick(head) Cheney becomes powerless tomorrow!
I’m not gonna be picky. If the gods/witches etc. choose death for this bastard, who am I do disagree?
November 26th, 2007 at 8:57 pmI fondly remember a previous poster from many moons ago coined Dick Cheney as “crashcart”. It still makes me giggle.
November 26th, 2007 at 9:05 pmWe have a heart for our country, asswipe, not for those traitors, like yourself, looking to dismantle it at every turn.
November 26th, 2007 at 9:25 pmGo Cheney yourself.
Cheney doesn’t have a heart – he suffered from a particle of rust that affected the gears of steel that pump the icy fluid in his veins.
November 26th, 2007 at 9:55 pmThey had to inject the area with a little naval jelly.
The Coulters, Malkins, Savages, Becks, Ingrahams, Limbaughs et. al. of the broadcast media can say anything they choose and their fans adore them – but let a liberal make fun of one of evil incarnate Cheney, and they are roundly criticized. They can dish it out but they sure can’t take it can they?
November 26th, 2007 at 10:01 pmHoping for Cheney’s demise is the same as hoping for the return of freedom and democracy to America. Don’t worry about the wingnuts; they’ve already demonstrated their treason.
November 26th, 2007 at 10:08 pmI think he’s already home knockin’ back a few.
“Heh heh I’m still alive” Cheney thinks to himself.
November 26th, 2007 at 11:24 pmRemove the word “irregular” and you still have a stunning headline:
“Cheney diagnosed with heartbeat”
November 26th, 2007 at 11:29 pmDick Cheney: “Principle is okay up to a certain point, but principle doesn’t do any good if you lose.”
On principle, I wish the Vice President a speedy recovery.
November 27th, 2007 at 12:05 amImmediately follow his life preserving ’shock’ treatment,
Dick ‘Dragon’ Cheney retired to his dimly lit cave where his
personal on site physician administered the necessary
bi-annual complete blood transfusion.
I’m hoping he got the spicy V-8 by mistake.
The day his ticker decides it is time for him to visit his
November 27th, 2007 at 12:40 amUncle Satan will be a day of celebration for the entire planet.
It is irregular because it beats with the blood of babies. Succulent babies.
November 27th, 2007 at 1:08 amWait, did I read that headline correctly?
Cheney has a heart?
Who knew!
/sarcasm off
November 27th, 2007 at 1:44 amTypo:
Cheney diagnosed with irregular heartbeat.
Should be: “Cheney diagnosed with irregular heart, beat.”
Cheers,
November 27th, 2007 at 8:30 amI don’t believe in Hell so I don’t wish Cheney dead, either. I almost posted what I _do_ wish for him, but even _my_ embattled conscience wouldn’t allow me to do it.
November 27th, 2007 at 10:48 amWould he just do the world a favor and die already. Satan’s calling!
November 27th, 2007 at 5:52 pm