Fox News ‘Comedian’ Declares ‘Waterboarding: It’s A Good Thing’
Fox News ‘Comedian’ Declares ‘Waterboarding: It’s A Good Thing’
In a FoxNews.com column, Greg Gutfeld — host of Fox’s 2 a.m. “dark humor” news show you’ve never heard of — writes this “comedic” defense of waterboarding:
Now, waterboarding might be torture, but as long as people I hate also hate waterboarding, then I love it more than life itself. … So I cherish waterboarding. I want to make it our national sport, our national bird. I want to make the waterboard the state flower of Vermont, instead of the Birkenstock.
For too many conservatives, waterboarding is a big joke to be taken lightly. Rachel Marsden — Gutfeld’s former co-host — claimed waterboarding was simply a “CIA-sponsored swim lesson.” Sen. Kit Bond (R-MO) said yesterday that waterboarding is “like swimming, freestyle, backstroke.” Conservative blogger Glenn Reynolds said he’d “be happy to” be waterboarded, and John Ashcroft suggested he’d also be willing to take the dive.
Waterboarding is not “simulated drowning.” It is drowning. As Reps. Jerrold Nadler (D-NY) and William Delahunt (D-MA) explained, “The victim’s lungs fill with water until the procedure is stopped or the victim dies.” Former Navy survival instruction Malcolm Wrightson Nance explained to Congress:
In my case, the technique was so fast and professional that I didn’t know what was happening until the water entered my nose and throat. … It then pushes down into the trachea and starts the process of respiratory degradation. It is an overwhelming experience that induces horror and triggers frantic survival instincts. As the event unfolded, I was fully conscious of what was happening: I was being tortured.
Perhaps these conservative armchair torture pundits need to follow Daniel Levin’s lead and gain some first-hand enlightenment about waterboarding.
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I really do wish that there was some way we could force them to make good on their “I’d be happy to be waterboarded” statements. Actually, I think that any politician who doesn’t consider waterboarding to be torture should be required to undergo the procedure and then make their decision. Same goes for Mulkasey.
December 12th, 2007 at 6:23 pmFox News can never be followed by comedian in a sentence.
Look it up.
Now that I said that. WHo the fu*k is this guy. He isn’t a very good comedian if somebody that has been to the Montreal Comedy Festival twice doesn’t know who the hell he is.
December 12th, 2007 at 6:23 pmGutfeld, your up! Time for you to play your favorite sport!
December 12th, 2007 at 6:24 pmI’m sure John McCain thinks Mr. Gutfull is really, really funny.
December 12th, 2007 at 6:24 pmReally, is there any “conservative comedians” who are even remotely funny?
December 12th, 2007 at 6:26 pmSo, who the hell is Greg Gutfield?
December 12th, 2007 at 6:28 pm6 – the world will never know. the “dustbin of history” on the other hand, will soon be very familiar with him.
December 12th, 2007 at 6:30 pmThe so-called conservative movement used to excoriate the liberal left for ‘defining deviancy downward’.
Now they have cornered the market.
This is how democracies die, bit by bit.
-GSD
December 12th, 2007 at 6:32 pmAll America needs is to have our new and improved “values” officially declared on national TV in this manner.
I know O’Reilly and Hannity will, but all of the the liberal media needs to get behind this effort to whitewash what Bush has done to cover his crimes and thus put paid to all the previous false advertising that once made this country great.
December 12th, 2007 at 6:33 pmtombaker, I like that; “Dustbin of history”.
December 12th, 2007 at 6:33 pmActually, I believe Kit Bond intended to compare waterboarding to swimming in that there are many different ways of conducting it, which may to varying degrees constitute torture. While I believe waterboarding as it has been presented DOES constitute torture, I do not believe it was the intent that it be likened to swimming in order to downgrade the cruelty of the practice.
December 12th, 2007 at 6:34 pmIf comedy were a handtool this guy couldn’t hang a picture.
December 12th, 2007 at 6:35 pmWelllll shheeeeittt, that does it for me bubba. Anytime a no-name hack comedian sez waterboardin is a good thing, I have go with that. (spits and adjusts belt.)
December 12th, 2007 at 6:36 pm“Fox News Comedian”….
This is the strangest bonding of mismatched notions since “tasty” and “tofu.”
December 12th, 2007 at 6:37 pmthe last few months have shown pretty conclusively how far Fox is going to get trying to peddle their brand of humor.
all it has accomplished is to their own shame, since Righty humor relies exclusively on violence and degradation of those already on the bottom.
December 12th, 2007 at 6:39 pmIt must be fun to be known as another terrorist country that condones torture! Maybe once this band of criminals leaves office your country can work on restoring the dignity it once had. Who would have guessed when Bush said he was going to bring back honor & dignity this is what he meant.
December 12th, 2007 at 6:43 pmGreg Gutfeld: “Now, waterboarding might be torture, but as long as people I hate also hate waterboarding, then I love it more than life itself.”
Hey Gutfeld, I’m sure you’d really hate me and I hate child molestation…
December 12th, 2007 at 6:48 pmDave C-
December 12th, 2007 at 6:51 pmBush was never a champion of honor and dignity. That wasn’t the true cause of Christians who were sold down the river by Rove. They wanted a country that respected Christian values. Translated as: Bush would get rid of abortion. It was the only issue that the rightwing even looked at. One-issue politics must be destroyed if we can make headway.
“Conservatives” are going to continue to belittle the issue until Jack Bauer tells them something different. I can imagine him in his raspy voice telling them, “People, I was wrong. I thought torture was an effective technique for saving us from the terrorists. Ironically, I even tortured my own brother for information to save the country and ended up with such bad intel that my own father was laughing at me. Folks, there is no doubt about it, waterboarding is torture and torture is useless as a tool for extracting useful information. And now I’m going to use my other expression so you’ll know I’m being sincere.”
CUT!
December 12th, 2007 at 6:52 pmthe guards at dachau, they were funny guys too. just not to the people they tortured. right, greg?
December 12th, 2007 at 6:52 pmFox News & Greg – Pigs!~
December 12th, 2007 at 6:52 pmFock Snooze, home of the ratbastard chickenhawks.
December 12th, 2007 at 6:54 pmeven the trolls won’t come out for poor greg!
December 12th, 2007 at 6:55 pmI can’t wait till someone gets sick of this scumbag and shoots him as he’s going into his home. And no I am not sorry,the only thing these retards understand is violence.
December 12th, 2007 at 6:58 pmComment by Billy Hill — December 12, 2007 @ 6:57 pm
December 12th, 2007 at 7:02 pmThe desert sand is just a blank slate the wind writes upon, have you permitted the same?
Comment by Billy Hill — December 12, 2007 @ 6:57 pm
billy it’s ok if you want to comment but when you just “copy and paste” other people’s comments well that’s cheating. and cheating makes the baby jesus cry. not a nice thing to do during christmas season, right?
December 12th, 2007 at 7:02 pmI want to make the waterboard the state flower of Vermont, instead of the Birkenstock.
——————————
That’s funny.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:05 pmWhy are Lefties so humorless?
December 12th, 2007 at 7:05 pmWe can’t expect guy like Billy Hill to know that waterboarding as a technique was developed during the Spanish Inquisition along with such favorites as the “Iron Maiden”, the “thumbscrew” and “the rack.” After all, it’s possible that some of those “sissy mary” Jews and pagan women had never been exposed to hot iron in the eyes. We who know of the Iron Maiden know that it’s just good clean fun!
December 12th, 2007 at 7:06 pmThat’s funny.
Comment by Charles James Napier — December 12, 2007 @ 7:05 pm
he stole it from a “huck” huckabee speech.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:07 pmI want to make the waterboard the state flower of Vermont, instead of the Birkenstock.
——————————
That’s funny.
Comment by Charles James Napier — December 12, 2007 @ 7:05 pm
Vermonters certainly are laughing…at the stupidity.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:08 pmCharles, the fact that a joke about torture is funny to you says more about you than it does about us.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:08 pmwaterboarding might be torture, but as long as people I hate also hate waterboarding, then I love it more than life itself.
Wow. Talk about a lack of options in life.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:10 pmWhy are Lefties so humorless?
Comment by Charles James Napier — December 12, 2007 @ 7:05 pm
Lefties enjoy a good joke. That’s why we wait for stupid comments from kool-aid drinking righties.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:11 pmWhy are Lefties so humorless?
Comment by Charles James Napier — December 12, 2007 @ 7:05 pm
well ever since they cancelled the “half hour news hour” there hasn’t been much conservative comedy on tv, has there?
(conservative comedy, there’s an oxymoron for ya!)
but hey, here’s your chance chuck, give us some of your best conservative comedy stylings. we can’t wait to read ‘em!
December 12th, 2007 at 7:11 pmThe values crowd loves torture, lying, cheating and cheating in the men’s room. I guess that would be funny, if they had not drug the whole country down in their orgy of greed and corruption.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:13 pmHe isn’t a very good comedian if somebody that has been to the Montreal Comedy Festival twice doesn’t know who the hell he is.
Comment by Spudge Boy — December 12, 2007 @ 6:23 pm
You lucky bastard.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:13 pmchuck, don’t leave the stage in the middle of your act!
(no wonder conservative comedians are so scarce. they always get heckled off the stage.)
December 12th, 2007 at 7:15 pmWill they still think waterboarding is funny when it is done to our troops?
December 12th, 2007 at 7:15 pmOnce the feet know Birks they never want to go back. Problem is some folks are too uptight to let their feet find out
December 12th, 2007 at 7:16 pmSorry. : /
December 12th, 2007 at 7:18 pmcaptain jack i am enjoying your comments but i thought waterboarding was a refinement of the old naval technique of keelhauling … another wonderfully barbaric experience. wherever it originated from … if it walks likes a duck and quacks like a duck it is a duck.
yes, waterboarding is torture … end of discussion.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:23 pm…give us some of your best conservative comedy stylings. we can’t wait to read ‘em!
Comment by joe cantwell
————————————————————
The point isn’t the political slant of the joke, it’s the fact that people on the nutball Left are so damn politically correct that nearly everthing offends them….but I’ll try anyhow…
How about this one:
————————————
Say, did you hear that Playboy is publishing a new magazine just for married men?
Every month it has the same centerfold….only she keeps getting older….and fatter.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:24 pm————————————-
How was that?
Great oxymorons in English=conservative comedian.
-GSD
December 12th, 2007 at 7:26 pmESP, Pennsylvania:
December 12th, 2007 at 7:28 pmLocal authorities in Meltown reported that street gangs have been using water-boarding. Sheriff Matt Lemonbiter, speaking to a crowd of highschool juniors recommended that “just because it is OK by a lot of idiots in our goobernut, kids should refrain from abusing the privilege just to learn where their classmates’ vicodin stash is hidden.”
WH officials have since asked for his transfer; to GITMO.
Not funny. Mean spirited. Misogenistic.
Typical.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:28 pmThat is a liberal joke. You stuck up prude pieces of sh!t don’t like porn remember.
You fu*kers can’t even come up with your own jokes, so you have to steal them.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:29 pmAll the CIA agents had to do was say “In the name of Jesus†during each dunk. That would then constitute a baptism.
Comment by Daryll — December 12, 2007 @ 7:24 pm
Daryll, Your blowing it man. I have told you this before. You and I both know you are not real but you have to keep up the facade because it is too hilarious. When you F’up and lay down this sort of crap it blows your cover and denies others the opportunity to actual think your weird biblical ass is real.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:29 pmThis discussion provides a great example of why today’s conservatives are not funny. They’re sociopaths and that’s just not funny. Great comedians are usually sensitive people with a conscience and usually the reasons they make us laugh have to do with the absurdity of the human condition. Sociopaths simply have no conscience and don’t care about the human condition.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:32 pmIts sort of ‘martyrdom lite’ for the cowardly to say they would be willing to be waterboarded.
First, they assume it would never happen. But as the thought of it courses across their brain pan I bet they rationalize that they wouldn’t be allowed to die, is probably something they can endure for the sake of their ‘principles’, take one for the team –sort of like putting up with constituents, taxes and stuff– and at the end of it all they see themselves all heroic and claiming “see, I tollya. Weren’t nothin’ but a long drink.”
Riiight. But not. Its truly an amazing masturbatory exercise, as delusional as it is warped.
A joke? Its no joke. Righties have always had it all wrong. They think sarcasm is funny, and malice a form of witticism. That’s why they’er hard-assed, cynical blowhards.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:33 pmDbadass, Im in completely agreement.
Daryll, you have to stupid down a little bit in order to be a reliable troll.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:33 pm[A]s long as people I hate also hate waterboarding, then I love it more than life itself.
This is a very revealing moment, presented as if it were satire. This explains the entire oeuvre of Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Michael Savage, and Glenn Beck. It’s based entirely on hatred, nothing else.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:37 pmdbadass: “When you F’up and lay down this sort of crap it blows your cover and denies others the opportunity to actual think your weird biblical ass is real.”
Great point. Daryll’s horrendous excuse for a “joke” is blasphemy isn’t it. Daryll, get on your knees and pray hard for forgiveness. I’m guessing that Jesus isn’t laughing.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:39 pmthat’s rich – Chuck comes up with a joke that proved everyone’s points about righty humor without hesitation…
thanks, Chuck. i’m sure your wife appreciates that.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:41 pmJohn Kerry: “We love Torture!!”
What do you mean, “we” pervert. YOU love torture, not we. You’re the sociopath. Don’t include us in your sick inhuman fantasy.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:41 pmThat is a liberal joke. You stuck up prude pieces of sh!t don’t like porn remember.
You fu*kers can’t even come up with your own jokes, so you have to steal them.
Comment by Spudge Boy
——————————————–
How is that a liberal joke?…It’s just a joke, period.
Besides, I first heard that joke from my father and he’s a war-mongering Republican.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:42 pmNRA Gun Nutes, you re a plant sent to tarnish this site. The tip-off is your violent theme, your shallow view. and complete lack of understanding about what is funny or justice.
Plz, tell me it was joke. That would seal the deal.
Go away. You’ve been made by me and had by yours.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:44 pmGee… another unfunny Jew.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:45 pmAnd check out Gutfeld’s protruding Neanderthal forehead. The guy doesn’t need sunglasses because his eyes are always in the shade. Chicks dig that!
December 12th, 2007 at 7:46 pm“Gutfeld then followed up with a hysterical riff on the girl that was gang-raped and locked in a container by KBR/Halliburton. His crowd was in stitches”
December 12th, 2007 at 7:50 pmPerfect.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:50 pmQ – How many hippys does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
A – None. Hippy’s don’t screw in lightbulbs, they screw in sleepingbags.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:50 pmhow many WASP jokes do you know, Charles?
December 12th, 2007 at 7:51 pmwwz – don’t know who you are for sure, but i hear you re: Arn. Never have quite gotten what that guy’s getting at, which would make sense if he is in fact a righty stealth counter-troll.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:53 pmOnce the feet know Birks they never want to go back. Problem is some folks are too uptight to let their feet find out
Comment by dbadass — December 12, 2007 @ 7:16 pm
I’ve got mine on right now!
December 12th, 2007 at 7:53 pmtombaker,
None that I know of. How ’bout you?
December 12th, 2007 at 7:53 pmConservatives have become a sickness, a disease on our nation. They should be shunned and discarded for the scum that they are.
Bush/Cheney/Gutfeld
Hague Trials ‘09
Buck Fush
December 12th, 2007 at 7:55 pmOnce the feet know Birks they never want to go back. Problem is some folks are too uptight to let their feet find out
Comment by dbadass — December 12, 2007 @ 7:16 pm
I’ve got mine on right now!
Comment by Jane E. Schneider
————————————————
This is satire right?
December 12th, 2007 at 7:55 pmjust jokes about women, hippies, democrats, and minorities, right?
thought so.
the best humor comes from those who can make fun of themselves.
I don’t know any wasp jokes, or any others really – I like jokes, just don’t often commit them to memory.
December 12th, 2007 at 7:56 pmThose right-wingers — such cut-ups! Ha ha!
December 12th, 2007 at 7:58 pmHere’a joke: moonbats can’t fly…http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/11/13/BAOPTB1LJ.DTL
December 12th, 2007 at 7:58 pmComment by tombaker — December 12, 2007 @ 7:53 pm
I don’t know, tom, Arn’s been around here for too long to be your run-of-the-mill counter-troll. I mean, look at all of the stuff JimboDude used to spout–he always seemed like a total whackjob until you could get him to calm down, and once you sifted through his comments, you had to agree with some of them. I often agree with Arn in sentiment, until he gets violent. Plus he could lose the bold-face.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:02 pmEvery a**hole who declares that waterboarding is “not torture” need to be strapped to the floor and waterboarded…repeatedly.
Look at the two linked pictures below. Both Abu Gharib and waterboarding is how the rest of the world sees the United States today. It will also define the “Bush legacy”.
Heckuva job, Bushie…..NOT.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:02 pmWhom ever asked about keel hauling: Tie ropes to both arms and legs, toss person over the bow and walk the ropes down port and starboard sides pulling person the length of the ship rubbing against the keel. I hear that scraping over barnacles does the most damage to the body. Drowning oneself was probably an option to avoid the pain.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:05 pmThis is satire right?
Comment by Charles James Napier — December 12, 2007 @ 7:55 pm
Wrong–I work for a footcare products company, and know quite a bit about which brands of shoes are good for your feet. For someone like me with falling arches, Birkenstocks help a great deal, otherwise my feet would hurt constantly. No joke, no satire, just plain common sense.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:05 pmI like Naot shoes.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:06 pmhref=”http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/d/d5/Waterboard3-small.jpg”
href=”http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4b/AbuGhraibAbuse-standing-on-box.jpg”
December 12th, 2007 at 8:07 pmand a hearty “AAaarrrgh” to St. Augustine, for his knowledge of Pirate-lore. (even if the british navy pioneered the keelhaul)
December 12th, 2007 at 8:08 pmtombaker,
TP’s a daily must read for me, but I don’t comment much. Agonist, FDL, TPM, digby’s place, are on my regular circuit too.
I’ve long suspected that part of the op research and WATB blogger strat has been to post on open comment threads. Its classic Rove to smear from that angle. Not that he’s behind it, but he’s spawned many a shallow gene pool wannabe. Once MoveOn and HuffPo got nailed in the MSM I saw it as inevitable, and perhaps a late realization.
Its hard to prove, of course. But its so easy and can be effective with coordination. Then there’s the copycats and the hopefuls looking for their 15 minutes vainglorious splendor. Its a good thing they are so stupid. Righty sites don’t have open forums as a rule. Its not a coincidence, me thinks. Chicken or egg, I dunno. But doesn’t really matter.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:09 pmFrom his web page:
We’ve heard a lot about waterboarding lately — but only from people who never have anything nice to say about our country anyway.
In a sense they’re using waterboarding to torture us — as a constant reminder that Americans are no better than our adversaries. We don’t’ fly planes into buildings or don’t behead gays, but a little simulated drowning, that’s unforgivable.
I fail to see any “humor” in his entire article. Not black humor, or any other kind. That TP indicates that it is “comedic†confuses me. Faiz, please explain to me how you read “humor” into it.
His article is an in your face and up your liberal ass rant. Nothing more. No humor can come from such an angry rant. I also don’t see him defending waterboarding. Rather, what he is really saying is quite plain. If liberals are for something, I am against it…what ever it is. Even waterboarding. I read his rant as one meant to piss off Progressives, using the current topic of waterboarding. He will use anything he thinks will make liberals angry and react negatively.
He is simply a troll who is not posting here on his own. He posted here thanks to Faiz.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:11 pmAnyone know when “The 1/2 Hour Comedy Hour Season One” is coming out on DVD?
December 12th, 2007 at 8:11 pmPlayboy started publishing a magazine for married men.
All articles.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:12 pmQ – How many hippys does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
A – None. Hippy’s don’t screw in lightbulbs, they screw in sleepingbags.
Comment by Charles James Napier — December 12, 2007 @ 7:50 pm
See I heard that one different. The way i learned that one was…
A- None. They screw on the beach under the moon.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:14 pmIt’s not a bad joke, and I apologize if Charles concluded I was being a PC tightass by parsing his sense of humor.
I really don’t like PC tightasses any more than I do the traditional kind.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:16 pmSure don’t want to be seen as one.
Well met indeed then, wwz – I hit those places too, along with some others, but for some reason this is where I post most.
I have to confess I do so more for the entertainment of troll-baiting, and reassurance derived by confirming the existence of others like myself, than for any other reason.
We’d have to be silly to take this as seriously as an official “Very Serious Symposium That Really Counts on all Matters of Grave Importance”, wouldn’t we?
December 12th, 2007 at 8:19 pmWrong–I work for a footcare products company, and know quite a bit about which brands of shoes are good for your feet. For someone like me with falling arches, Birkenstocks help a great deal, otherwise my feet would hurt constantly. No joke, no satire, just plain common sense.
Comment by Jane E. Schneider — December 12, 2007 @ 8:05 pm
Only people who have never worn Birkenstocks think that this is a joke. I’ve switched to New Balance because they come in widths, and my sandals are Teva or Keen, but I still have a pair of plastic Birks for winter weather when appropriate.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:20 pmNRA Gun Nutes,
OK, so you are known around here. I’ll back off my assertion, if not the suggestion such smear-trolls exist.
But isn’t it a clue that a comrade-in-qwerty mistakes you for the opposition? Maybe not. At any rate loudmouthed brutes are remembered for that much longer than for anything they actually say.
Besides, suggesting harm upon the person holding the office of the Preznit displays a fools courage. IOW your doing no one any good, most especially yourself, so why keep up the slog? Rhetorical question, natch.
Here’s a tip: Anonymous proxies will not hide your IP from those who want to know what it is. Follow me?
December 12th, 2007 at 8:20 pmA- None. They screw on the beach under the moon.
Comment by dbadass — December 12, 2007 @ 8:14 pm
I heard it as a Northern California joke: A. They don’t screw in lightbulbs, they screw in hot tubs.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:21 pmArn, while part of me feels that many in this maladministration deserve torture or death, I still cannot condone torture even in revenge for what you and I know to be treason. I remember what happened to (help me with the spelling here) Caocesciew(?) and his wife, and I cannot believe that we are not better than that.
Gotta go watch Keith, see you in a bit.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:21 pmComment by tombaker — December 12, 2007 @ 8:16 pm
i launched chuck’s career you know.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:23 pmwhat really bothers me is that this so called comedian Greg “hates” anyone who disagrees with him. “hate” is the GOP way of life. Think about annhole, billy o and Rush the bum and how they talk and write. I am saddened by these people of hatred….sorry if I sound simple in my writing, I am a Grandmother in CT with two Grandsons I adore. I am terrified of what the future holds for them. I believe that Bush and 9/11 are the two worst things that have ever happened in this country……I’m also not convinced they are not related in someway…..
December 12th, 2007 at 8:24 pmComment by Saint Augustine — December 12, 2007 @ 8:05 pm
The way you described it was not as I recalled the description, so I had to look it up.
This from Wiki:
December 12th, 2007 at 8:26 pmKeelhauling (from Dutch kielhalen; “to drag along the keel”) was a severe form of corporal punishment meted out to sailors at sea.
The sailor was tied to a rope that looped beneath the vessel, thrown overboard on one side of the ship, and dragged under the ship’s keel to the other side. As the hull was often covered in barnacles and other marine growth, this could result in lacerations and other injuries. This generally happened if the offender was pulled quickly. If pulled slowly, his weight might lower him sufficiently to miss the barnacles but might result in his drowning. If the rope snapped, the Captain could conclude that the punishment was not done properly and order it carried out again.
Keelhauling was legally permitted as a punishment in the Dutch Navy. The earliest official mention of keelhauling is a Dutch ordinance of 1560: the practice was not formally abolished until 1853. While not an official punishment, it was reportedly used by some British Royal Navy and merchant marine captains, and has become strongly associated with pirate lore.
FOX is State Sponsored TV and should be shut down.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:27 pmLikewise, tombaker.
“We’d have to be silly to take this as seriously as an official “Very Serious Symposium That Really Counts on all Matters of Grave Importanceâ€, wouldn’t we?”
Well, yes, and no. It depends on the subject, how serious one is about what is happening in general, and how much is at stake.
I have a couple of young boys. Much at stake. I take the destruction of our country pretty serious too. I can jibe with best of ‘em. We need levity and joking around. But there is some long lasting heavy sh*t happening around here. Leaving all the seriousness to the leets is what got us here to begin with. If we don’t get serious abuot putting a foot down and saying “No, you cannot do that”, then they will. Addington even said as much, as have others. They dare you to stop them. It will take more than jokin around to halt their progress.
Thats one reason I don’t suffer fools like Nutes and his ilk too gladly. They are last ones you want in your foxhole, so to speak. A serious, capable person doesn’t talk about it. They just do it. Those who talk, never will.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:37 pm104 – so it was actually the Dutch – figures – I always knew there was something fishy about those Dutchmen.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:38 pmwwz – you’ll get no debate from me there. i’ve got a couple of kids, too. aside from venting and sharing some comeraderie here, doing this has made me a very diligent letter-writer to my Congressman and Senators – all 3 are D’s, but it doesn’t stop me from taking the crop to them on the matters I feel most strongly about.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:41 pmComment by gummitch — December 12, 2007 @ 8:21 pm
No matter what the punch, the great thing about that joke is that the hippies are always doing what the straights can only speculate about. I suppose the right would blame the liberal entertainment industry as responsible for their stereotypical comic portrayal as sexual nitwits
December 12th, 2007 at 8:44 pmWhatever, Nutes. You think you know what your saying cause all the words fit, but you don’t. And you sure don’t know what I’m talkin’ about.
So no, I don’t follow you, and never will. Best of luck to you.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:47 pmI like Naot shoes.
Comment by tombaker — December 12, 2007 @ 8:06 pm
Me, too, but they’re out of my price range. I only get the Birks on clearance. And Gummitch, good choices in your footwear, too.
December 12th, 2007 at 8:48 pmFor Greg Gutfeld,
I hope you experience waterboarding for your own sake.
Trust me, you won’t be such a funny prick after you experience waterboarding yourself.
Troubled Texan
December 12th, 2007 at 8:58 pmI’ve got a board Greg could (mouth)water in my basement…
December 12th, 2007 at 9:12 pmtombaker and Merlin:
Thanks for expanding mine and everyone else’s knowledge on a subject that will interest our trolls. Keelhauling could become a rightwing favorite.
Look at the benifit of keelhauling from the perspective of those performing the act. You don’t have to watch the injuries occur yet if you’re pulling one of the ropes you can be an active participant! And two rope pullers per haul.
Sets up secenarios for jokes…. Did you hear the one about the wingnut keelhauler? He was so far right he refused to man the port rope.
December 12th, 2007 at 9:16 pm“…He was so far right he refused to man the port rope.”
Funny!
December 12th, 2007 at 9:20 pmJust tell him to hang on tight, and he’ll eventually come up on the starboard side…..
But Bush DESERVES what he gets, such as jail for life, for being a TRAITOR to the USA.
And I make NO APOLOGIES for saying so.
Comment by Arn Gunnutes — December 12, 2007 @ 8:29 pm
And this I can wholeheartedly agree with, Arn.
Hey, we’re not Republican Borgs, all in lockstep with each other. I’m sure that many here don’t agree with me all of the time, and I don’t expect it. Even Wayne (my husband, many of you have seen his comments here and elsewhere) and I don’t always agree on certain issues–it would be boring if we agreed absolutely all of the time.
December 12th, 2007 at 9:21 pmSt. A – I’m adding that one to my pirate humor collection.
here’s a good-ol’ pirate gem:
Pirate walks into a bar, with a ship’s wheel sticking out the front of his pants.
Bartender says “Hey buddy, you’ve got a steering wheel sticking out of your pants.”
The pirate replies:
“Arrrr, I know. It’s drivin’ me nuts.”
December 12th, 2007 at 9:33 pmThe Engish outsourced their pirating on occasions, hence the privateers who were pirates acting under a letter of authority from the crown or private company. No doubt rightwingers would outsource most of the foreign activities but keep a ship or two here, for training purposes or moonlight dinner cruises.
December 12th, 2007 at 9:46 pmJane, I love my MBT’s I got at Birkenstock. They have done wonders for my back
December 12th, 2007 at 9:53 pmGreg Gutfeld was editor of Maxim and Stuff magazines. He always insisted on writing an editor’s preface. He thought he was funny then too. By the way, those magazines are banned from ultra-conservative WalMart because of the “filth”. Draw your own conclusions.
December 12th, 2007 at 9:54 pmUh-oh – now we’ll have to hear about the British privateers as another justification for Blackwater. You have to be careful about dispensing this sensitive historical information in a place like this, Augustine – were intelligence like that to fall into the hands of the enemy, who knows what kind of havoc could ensue. They do have enough brains to be dangerous, if not enough to manage governemental affairs.
December 12th, 2007 at 9:56 pm123 – excellent bit of background on the unwholesome man pictured above. stands to reason though, that Murdoch would hire a softcore smut-peddler to help salvage his flagging ratings.
December 12th, 2007 at 9:58 pmHey, tombaker, I LIKE that softcore smut!!! But I am liberal, so it is ok. Conservatives don’t really like it…it doesn’t have nearly enough young boys.
December 12th, 2007 at 10:09 pmOur national bird, Greg?
I got a national bird for ya…
December 12th, 2007 at 10:10 pmComment by Saint Augustine — December 12, 2007 @ 9:53 pm
Glad to hear it. Once you get your feet straightened out, it helps your knees, spine, etc. Good shoes aren’t cheap, but they’re cheaper than custom-made orthotics, or constant visits to the podiatrist, doctor or chiropractor!
December 12th, 2007 at 10:39 pmSo, who the hell is Greg Gutfield?
Jeff Gannon with a bad rug?
BTW, Greg, I’ve heard that people you hate really, really can’t stand it when folks smear themselves in their own feces and run around clucking like chickens. You might want to get right on that, y’know, as long as you’re letting the people you hate define what you like and do.
December 12th, 2007 at 10:43 pm#129 Comment by justme — December 12, 2007 @ 10:43 pm
“…as long as you’re letting the people you hate define what you like and do.”
Spot on, justme!
December 12th, 2007 at 11:04 pmHighlighting the “brilliance” of the wingnut philosophy!
Timberlands and Doc Martens.
My wife hates my choice of footwear.
December 12th, 2007 at 11:05 pmWhatever is cheap and comfortable. Everybody hates my choice of footwear :)
December 12th, 2007 at 11:11 pmJeez, I can’t believe I’ve got people talking about their shoes! :) RickS, you can tell your wife that as long as they give good arch support and toe room, that’s all that counts. (Well, mainly–I hope you’re not wearing them to bed?)
December 12th, 2007 at 11:12 pmWell, honestly, Jane, from the “movies” I have seen women wear their stilletos to bed all the time!!!
December 12th, 2007 at 11:23 pmWell, honestly, Jane, from the “movies†I have seen women wear their stilletos to bed all the time!!!
Comment by Sabyen91 — December 12, 2007 @ 11:23 pm
Ouch! That’s gotta hurt someone! :)
December 12th, 2007 at 11:45 pmWell, no, I don’t watch THOSE movies.
December 12th, 2007 at 11:48 pmINformation Warfare
December 13th, 2007 at 12:30 amhttp://www.au.af.mil/au/aul/bibs/infowar/if.htm
“Information Dominance”
December 13th, 2007 at 12:32 amhttp://www.coldtype.net/Assets.04/Essays.04/Miller.pdf
.
WHY DOS GREG GUTless HATE AMERICA?
.
December 13th, 2007 at 12:40 am#138 Comment by Bush is a TRAITOR — December 13, 2007 @ 12:32 am
“Information Dominanceâ€
Thanks for the excellent link! Should be recommended reading by all of us here.
December 13th, 2007 at 2:12 amComment by Charles James Napier — December 12, 2007 @ 7:24 pm
That joke is about as old as Playboy itself. Plus, it is a liberal joke in favour of free love (Basically by pointing out that porn would be boring with just one model, it hints at monogamy being an unnatural rule for men to follow.)
Remember, jokes have meanings which can be liberal or conservative.
Try again.
December 13th, 2007 at 4:09 amQ – How many hippys does it take to screw in a light-bulb?
A – None. Hippy’s don’t screw in lightbulbs, they screw in sleepingbags.
Comment by Charles James Napier — December 12, 2007 @ 7:50 pm
Again, that one is liberal. It suggests that the hippy lifestyle is superior to the non-hippy lifestyle.
Also, its quite old.
December 13th, 2007 at 4:14 amComment by Charles James Napier — December 12, 2007 @ 7:58 pm
That isn’t a joke, unless you are some kind of sick freak.
Try again.
December 13th, 2007 at 4:18 amComment by BERT CONVY — December 13, 2007 @ 1:46 am
Actually, your choice is this: You can torture a person who might, just might have otherwise unknowable (And thus unverifiable) information you need and who will probably lie about it anyway.
The result of this is that you will torture innocents who know zip, you will end up wasting your time hunting down false leads, and you will end up with it leaking, leading to your enemies’ ranks swelling with people who oppose getting tortured, and to what would ordinarily be neutral people actually hiding the terrorists because they view torture as being wrong in all circumstances.
Or you can not torture the person, thereby not swelling your enemies’ ranks, not ending up wasting time chasing down false leads, and end up with less hostility in the groups that actually host these “Head-choppers” and thus have an easier time with tracking them down. Plus, you get that nice little boost from occupying the moral high ground.
But of course, you righies are too chicken to actually understand the concept of you know, actually winning wars.
December 13th, 2007 at 4:34 amNow we know. Wingers can’t run governments. Wingers can’t tell jokes.
December 13th, 2007 at 6:30 amit is a scary thought that psychotic violentarian conservatives/republicans of this ilk roam free among us, many in positions of influence.
December 13th, 2007 at 8:27 am.
BERT CONV
How many “Head-Choppers” aren’t “Head-Choppers” but in fact civilians turned in by the real “Head-Choppers” looking upon this as a good source of funds, propaganda and a means of eliminating their political enemies?
Oh, and while your blatent stupidity, racism, and downright sadism might be all very well out in the fantasy world where your ideology has actually ever worked, in the real world your allies are dumping you in droves, your war is only being “Won” in the provinces where you have surrendered to the guys who just a few months were the enemy, and your president is about as popular as herpes.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A2302-2005Jan11.html
I will take the word of a US general long before I will take the word of a chicken-sh!t chickenhawk whose idea of logic and reasoning is so tainted by his need to compensate for his wee willy and lilly liver that he thinks torture is a good idea.
December 13th, 2007 at 8:36 amGeneral should be Colonel.
December 13th, 2007 at 8:38 amBERT CONVY
Projecting your mother’s obvious infidility to her brother onto us is hardly a strong argument.
December 13th, 2007 at 8:40 amComment by jdc — December 13, 2007 @ 8:43 am
What are conservative morals?
An oxymoron.
December 13th, 2007 at 8:44 amJane,
that’s my argument to her. And it’s not like I’m wearing my ratty jungle boots I had in the Army.
Though I’d love to. They are just comfortable as all get out.
December 13th, 2007 at 8:47 amComment by jdc — December 13, 2007 @ 8:43 am
Of course, us liberals hate kiddy rape therefore you conservatives are almost obliged to do it aren’t you?
December 13th, 2007 at 8:53 amIf Gutfeld’s routine was interpreted as a parody of the neocon position on waterboarding, I can see the humor. But if he seriously espouses this view and is packaging it as humor, that’s just sick.
Is it just my faulty memory, or was there a time when the subject of torture wasn’t even debatable in this country? I seem to remember a time when “torture” was something that we — the good guys — didn’t do. Only the bad guys did.
December 13th, 2007 at 8:56 amBERT CONVY
You have never seen war, you have never seen death, and you have never demonstrated anything like a spine.
You are a coward. You are so chicken that you cannot hold onto even basic precepts like “We do not torture.” Instead, you brown your underwear and cry “Stop helping the enemy.”
You have no courage and no virtue. You have never had to stand by your words, you have never had to seek help and you have never offered it. You are the very epitome of a rightwing chickenhawk.
A man who preaches the very tactics which even going back to Tsun Tsu meant loss, in the name of your own cowardice and ignorance.
December 13th, 2007 at 9:07 amBERT CONVY
Actually, you get BERT CONVY.
December 13th, 2007 at 9:08 amComment by BERT CONVY — December 13, 2007 @ 9:26 am
Oh, and coward? Only three?
Three too many and what happened to the tapes?
December 13th, 2007 at 9:36 amJeez, I never thought the situation would arise when I’d have to say: This Bert Convy gives the real Bert Convy a bad name.
Pick some other monicker, asswipe, and stop insulting a bland yet affable gameshow host. Try your real name, as many of us do, or is that just a little too frightening for you, chickenshit? Hiding behind a dead B-actor/gameshow host’s name is just too pathetic.
December 13th, 2007 at 9:49 amWas Brutus a surrender monkey when he plunged a knive into the chest of Caesar? Just wondering.
Caesar, by the way, turned a Republic into an empire by centralizing all the power in the bureaucracy. Just like the Bushies have done by putting all the power into the executive and taking it away from the judiciary and legislative. Even individual positions like Secty of State have become figureheads in our government. The real power is held by the president and vp, and the kingmakers behind him. Government agencies have been made redundant, as the DoD is all powerful while the CIA is discredited and sidelined. Small agencies like FEMA got sucked into something called “Homeland Security” which has become a financial black hole. Tell me our republic is not already gone.
While corrupt organizations like Fox news praises Caesar, the rest of us should be trying to bury him.
Anyway, as far as this warterboarding is concerned, what I find incredible is that it, like everything else, got minimized and lost in the fog. Even I didn’t know that the lungs filled with water until this year. That is drowning, folks, not pretend drowning. Why wasn’t this told on every news station in the country when this issue first came up? Why didn’t the democrats even say anything? A story always comes out tenatively, then a year later we hear about the real nature of it.
December 13th, 2007 at 11:50 am