A ‘Confused’ O’Reilly: ‘I Just Want Mayonnaise. I Don’t Want Guys Kissing’
A ‘Confused’ O’Reilly: ‘I Just Want Mayonnaise. I Don’t Want Guys Kissing’
Earlier this week, the Guardian reported on a new “light-hearted” Heinz advertisement set to air in the UK that “promotes a new range of dressing called Heinz Deli Mayo” and also “features two men sharing a kiss.” A “New York deli man” acts as mother and wife in a typical British family and at the end of the ad, “mum” sends dad off with a kiss and the words: “Love you. Straight home from work, sweet cheeks.”
But last night on his Fox News show, Bill O’Reilly found the ad a little too much to handle. Talking with Bernie Goldberg and Jane Hall, O’Reilly confessed that the ad left him feeling “confused”:
O’REILLY: So why are they doing that? Why — it was. It was obviously a gay thing. Now I don’t know what the message is, other than gay people like mayonnaise. … I’m confused. This whole gender blending thing. It’s confusing to me. … I just want mayonnaise. I don’t want guys kissing.
Watch it:
It’s odd that O’Reilly seems so disturbed by the ad. Last year, when referring to Gov. Bill Richardson’s (D-NM) assertion that he believes homosexuality is a “choice,” O’Reilly said, “I think everybody’s got to relax on all this gay stuff.” Media Matters noted O’Reilly’s “own inability to ‘relax on all this gay stuff’ with a history of controversial, misleading, and false claims about gays and lesbians.”
At the end of the segment, an exasperated O’Reilly asked, “Can’t I just have mayonnaise without all this? Is that too much to ask?” Apparently, O’Reilly still isn’t relaxing on all the gay stuff.
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Relax, the Heinz won’t give you TEH GAY…
June 20th, 2008 at 3:08 pmSo watching two men kiss makes O’Reily confused? Hmmmm. Maybe a little curious?
June 20th, 2008 at 3:09 pmWho puts mayonnaise on a falafel?
June 20th, 2008 at 3:10 pmPicture this;
June 20th, 2008 at 3:10 pmfrom now on, every time O’Lielly steps into a Burger King(or Wendy’s, McDonald’s, et al), Brillo shouts “Hold the Mayo, and I’ll take ‘Freedom Fries’ with that too.
Jebus. Grow up, Billyboy.
Asshat.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:11 pmO’Rielly just wants “mayonnaise”?
Oh wait, as in “pearl necklace” mayonaiise?
Now that makes sense.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:11 pmI’m SO surprised he didn’t say “Gimme my mayo, MF’ers.”
June 20th, 2008 at 3:11 pmIf it bothers you that much, Bill, then don’t go to the UK where you might see it.
And if Heinz decides to run the commercial in the US, then change the channel when it comes on. Of course, if your TV is tuned to Fox News Channel and it comes on, I don’t know what you’ll do. You might have to boycott your own network if that happens.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:12 pmRobbez - you beat me to it. ;o)
~A
June 20th, 2008 at 3:12 pmMayonnaise. Mayonnaise. Mayonnaise. Mayonnaise…
all that keeps coming to mind is tired old white congress whores voting to erode my personal liberties while speaking out of both sides of their mouth.
Phuck Billdo & the corporation he rode in on.
I WANT MY FREEDOM BACK!!
June 20th, 2008 at 3:12 pmLeftside Annie Says:
Gave me a chuckle - figured I’d share!
June 20th, 2008 at 3:13 pmO’Really wants mayonnaise?
Isn’t mayonnaise… French?
BTW, someone page me when Daryll shows up, ‘kay?
June 20th, 2008 at 3:14 pm12. hE might start a boycott of Heinz products…because once one product is contaminated with TEH GAY, it spreads like wildfire…it’s obviously Teresa Heinz Kerry’s malicious plan to infect the whole country with TEH GAY so that they’ll vote Democratic in 2008….
June 20th, 2008 at 3:15 pmI wonder how he reacted when W and Lieberman exchanged pecks after the State o the Union speech a few years back. Did he burst a blood vessel when that happened?
June 20th, 2008 at 3:16 pmI’m confused. This whole gender blending thing.
It’s OK. It’s perfectly normal to have “those” feelings. Mommy and Daddy still love you.
http://progressiveworldreview.com
June 20th, 2008 at 3:17 pmWhat’s confusing you, Bill? That strange feeling in your loins when you watch this commercial? Or is it the fact that this gay couple is raising children who seem quite well-adjusted to having two dads? C’mon, Bill, ‘fess up. What’s really confusing you about this?
June 20th, 2008 at 3:17 pmHe really is that stupid isn’t he? All that cheap scotch…
June 20th, 2008 at 3:19 pmIt’s not the falafel ol’ billo wants the mayo for … it’s the loofah.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:21 pmThey eat mayonnaise on french fries (frites) in Holland and gay marriage is legal there.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:21 pmAny comments, BillO?
Add “British humor” to the long list of things Bill-O doesn’t understand. Obviously the guy never saw Benny Hill or Monty Python.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:22 pmOr is that the “fahloofeh”?
He must be careful, his inner Frenchman is showing.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:22 pmwhere is the troll who will stand up and defend bill o’reilly?
keltoi?
rogerse?
lock_box?
cowards all!
*
June 20th, 2008 at 3:23 pmFalafel Pervert Sexual Predator Bildo O’LIElly is GAY, and it is up to him to prove otherwise.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:23 pmBill-O is such a returd he’s incapable of understanding Monty Python.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:24 pmBillo - IT IS JUST AN AD! It’s not a social commentary, or proposed legislation, or an editorial. It’s just trying to sell stuff.
So, take a chill pill and cuddle up with a bottle of Jack Daniels or something and go away. It’s just an advertisement…
(And, by the way, if a 30 second advertisement confuses you, maybe you have ADD or Alzheimer’s, or something. Anyway, I wouldn’t be bragging about how confused it makes you. We all get it. Go see your doctor.)
June 20th, 2008 at 3:26 pmjoe cantwell Says:
where is the troll who will stand up and defend bill o’reilly?
I don’t do O’Reilly threads. They are offered by TP as cotton candy for its denizens, simply lite entertainment.
BUT - I can’t come up with a link or reference for that assertion, it is just opinion, Professor Joe.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:28 pmShower Mayo is all O’Biley really wants, or understands…
June 20th, 2008 at 3:35 pmBill:”Thanks for the twinkie, but where’s the cream filling?
June 20th, 2008 at 3:40 pmRush:” Ohh, it’s coming…it’s coming…”
A ‘Confused’ O’Reilly: ‘I Just Want Mayonnaise. I Don’t Want Guys Kissing’
Does this mean Falafel-boy doesn’t want the foreplay, instead just skip directly to the “Mayon” event?
WE’LL DO IT LIVE! WE’LL DO IT FCKING LIVE!!!
June 20th, 2008 at 3:41 pmO’Lielly confuses the hell out of me.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:43 pm.
Billdo O’LIEly is jealous…
.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:44 pmKeltoi Says:
joe cantwell Says:
where is the troll who will stand up and defend bill o’reilly?
I don’t do O’Reilly threads.
and yet you are here, aren’t you?
check this out.
doublethink.
good luck.
*
“…it is just opinion, Professor Joe.”
let’s fix it:
“… it is just an opinion, Professor Joe.”
*
how was the nap?
*
June 20th, 2008 at 3:46 pmWhen will parodyll make his appearance? After all, this is about “two men kissing”.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:46 pmAnd while praising Falafel-boy as a true American (c)hristian, parodyll denounces England as an island full of sin, that they deserve the constant ugly weather as penance?
Hey, Keltoi - if we didn’t take time out to laugh our asses off at the ridiculous antics of your reichwing compadres…well, our heads would explode.
You understand the concept of “comic relief,” don’t you…?
June 20th, 2008 at 3:47 pm.
Why does Billdo O’LIEly hate teh gay…?
.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:47 pmOur fourth amendment was just torn up, why are we talking about o’reilly? Pimple shit has more credibility than he does. The country is being stolen, are we going waste time talking about a confused talking head? We have more important things to do.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:47 pmI haven’t seen the ad yet, but if the offending kiss is no more than the type of quick peck one spouse would give another as they part for the day, I don’t see it as all that offensive.
On the other hand, heterosexual sex is used to sell everything from lingerie to automobiles to toothpaste to beer to Hardee’s cheeseburgers, and even though it’s all heterosexual, it’s gratuitous and tiresome (and if I had children, I’d not want them to see most of it). Why isn’t Billy railing against that? A perfunctory peck between two men just doesn’t measure up on the outrage meter.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:48 pm#33 DRxJ,
June 20th, 2008 at 3:49 pmBecause he’s too busy sucking up teh Bush.
StratRat, can’t we joke about Bill and save the country, too?
June 20th, 2008 at 3:52 pmmisshusseinmolly,
great post (as usual).
Does O’Reilly get confused with the oh so not subtle act of fellatio performed by a patron at a bar, on an ice cube?
No, but he probably does have to take a shower!
June 20th, 2008 at 3:52 pmLeftside Annie Says:
——————————————————————————–
Hey, Keltoi - if we didn’t take time out to laugh our asses off at the ridiculous antics of your reichwing compadres…well, our heads would explode.
You understand the concept of “comic relief,” don’t you…?
Of course! I talk to Joe, don’t I?
BTW, Professor? “Opinion” was an adjective describing “assertion”, but nice chop job on what I actually wrote. Tiresome doesn’t even cover it.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:53 pmlock_box Says:
how can this not be a gay thing? Do guys kiss on the lips in the United Kingdom?
no, it’s a troll thing.
run for you life lock_box, rogerse is coming to kiss you right now!
he’s got garlic breathe!
run lock, run!
good luck.
*
June 20th, 2008 at 3:53 pmOh lock_box, come over here and let me tap that lilly white, skinny arse!
Geez, not only are you afraid of the black man, but afraid of gays, also?
June 20th, 2008 at 3:54 pmWhat’s your worst fear, a gay black man?
If so, I give you Daryll of parodyll!
Now, Annie, Keltoi’s been taking enough abuse today.
I can’t stand idly by and watch you accuse him of not understanding the concept of comic relief. Keltoi has a very good sense of humor and exercises it here regularly.
He was simply explaining his understandable reluctance to participate in O’Reilly threads. Cut him some slack, okay, doll?
June 20th, 2008 at 3:58 pmlock box is another one of those simians with a sore ass from the alpha male’s attention. But hey, Boy George has kept his territory safe for the last 7 years, so if lock box has to swallow some humility, what’s a litle sore ass?
And no, humility is not a metaphor for mayo.
June 20th, 2008 at 3:59 pmLock_box,
I do because me and my friends are gay…
Are you jelous…?
June 20th, 2008 at 4:03 pmlock,
since when was webster put in charge of all things gay?
i never got that memo.
rog, keltoi? you guys hear anything about this?
check your rnc talking points.
this is serious.
good luck.
*
June 20th, 2008 at 4:04 pmlock_box(and keep away from the scary black man) Says:
joe cantwell Says:
do you kiss your guy friends on the mouth when you hang out? because, unless Webster completely changed the definition of homosexual behavior last night that was pretty damn gay!
Hey, lock_box, I, a heterosexual male married with 4 kids just posted that I wanted to tap you arse?
June 20th, 2008 at 4:10 pmDoes that make me gay according to Webster?
And who’s this Webster dude? Is he cute?
lock,
you meant webster the dictionary guy, didn’t you?
sorry dude, my bad.
now where is definition of gay you say he has so we can all get straight on this subject? (no pun intended, btw.)
good luck.
*
June 20th, 2008 at 4:17 pm.
Lock_box just needs a kiss…
.
June 20th, 2008 at 4:18 pmlockbox is pissed because he NEVER gets the oft promised reach around. It’s like he gets no respect at all.
Come over here little guy, I promise to be gentle…..
June 20th, 2008 at 4:21 pmjoe cantwell Says:
since when was webster put in charge of all things gay?
i never got that memo.
rog, keltoi? you guys hear anything about this?
Definitely not tiresome. Definitely cause for bafflement til your follow up post.
June 20th, 2008 at 4:21 pmj.c. I will be happy to defend Bill. He can’t help it if he gets a little squirmy in the pants when he’s talking about gay men. He doesn’t try, it just happens.
June 20th, 2008 at 4:25 pmDRxJ, Gay men are scarier than black men cuz you can usually tell when a guy is black, not so easily if a guy is gay, and then you might catch the gay.
if it was bill and not tim who was felled by a fatal heart attack.
would he want this:
I Just Want Mayonnaise. I Don’t Want Guys Kissing.
on his tombstone?
something to think about.
*
June 20th, 2008 at 4:35 pmHey, on a serious note regarding gayness (serious gayness?) check out this article from Slate yesterday
http://www.slate.com/id/2193841/
Somewhere, Aldous Huxley is smiling.
June 20th, 2008 at 4:40 pmSo does this mean that the dude who’s deathly afraid of scary big black gay men, ain’t givin’ us no sugar?
June 20th, 2008 at 4:45 pmThanks for the link Keltoi, that is a little disconcerting. The good/bad of science. Radiology/Hiroshima.
June 20th, 2008 at 4:58 pmBut doesn’t the commercial pay for the show? And doesn’t putting the commercial on represent an action of free capitalism ?
OTOH - I must admit, that there are a long line of assinine commercials that I would like to skip.
June 20th, 2008 at 5:12 pmNo Daryll?
Ah, well, I guess Bill O’Reilly and mayonnaise just doesn’t get our boy hot enough.
June 20th, 2008 at 5:50 pmKeltoi Says:
Hey, on a serious note regarding gayness (serious gayness?) check out this article from Slate yesterday
http://www.slate.com/id/2193841/
Somewhere, Aldous Huxley is smiling.
You missed the study that also came out that showed gay males are related to the fertility of women. If you want infertile women, and a declining population, go ahead and f**k with gay fetuses… Meanwhile fertile parents who don’t screw with their gay children will procreate hateful bigots like you out of existence…
June 20th, 2008 at 6:55 pmSo, is Bill saying that he doesn’t like to kiss afterward?
June 20th, 2008 at 7:12 pmMe thinks O’Lielly doth protest too much!
How much you want to bet he knows Jeff Gannon intimately!
June 20th, 2008 at 7:19 pmWell there is the arguement in a nutshell. Any manifestation of homosexuality must be surpressed because it confuses people like Bill.
It’s pretty bold to get on the air and speak out on something which, by your own admission, you don’t get. But that is most of Bill’s act; flailing in angry confusion at everything which doesn’t conform to his narrow “Father Knows Best” worldview.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:34 pmPete Tagliani Says:
Well there is the arguement in a nutshell. Any manifestation of homosexuality must be surpressed because it confuses people like Bill.
It doesn’t confuse Bill. Republicans just think homosexuality should be kept behind the closet door, where it belongs.
June 20th, 2008 at 8:51 pmYou’re right Shoeless. Their “confusion” is a bit feigned. But I do think that thier feigned confusion simply masks an even deeper confusion and fear.
Certainly a case could be made that any broad display of sexuality, like Mardi Gras, Spring Break, or MTV, might rightfully offend some people. But those events always seem to make the B-Roll on Bill’s show. Whereas a simple guy kiss, or any evidence that homosexuality even exists just sets Bill off.
I would offer that many Republicans who have proclaimed homosexuality should be kept in the closet were simply projecting, as they themselves have had to spend thier lives in that same closet.
I’m not trying to imply that Bill is closeted. I don’t think he is. But there is a certain strain of Republicans, with their unquestioning adoration for strong male figures like John Wayne and Reagan, which always struck me as a tad gay.
They would never acknowledge it. Just repress it. That’s where the confusion kicks in. Just look at Larry Craig. Honestly, to this day I don’t think he believes he’s gay. That’s why they need a show like Bill’s which tries to keep everything black & white simple.
That’s where the self-loathing gets projected onto others. “Those darn Mayonnaise leather boys!”
June 20th, 2008 at 9:34 pmso now shrill o’leilly likes his sandwhich condimants the same way he likes his politicians: white and full of fat
June 20th, 2008 at 11:45 pmPete Tagliani Says:
That’s where the self-loathing gets projected onto others. “Those darn Mayonnaise leather boys!”
David Brock’s “Blinded By The Right” should be required reading. As a formerly closeted right-wing homosexual, he has quite an insight into the phenomena of self-loathing and sexual repression rampant amongst Republicans.
June 20th, 2008 at 11:59 pmBeware, O’Reilly! Mayonnaise is a french word!
June 21st, 2008 at 2:46 pm*wiggles my eyebrows*
Confusing, Mr. O’Really?
Funny…mayo issue…O_o
Wile E. Coyote?
June 21st, 2008 at 6:20 pmpaleolib Says:
Add “British humor” to the long list of things Bill-O doesn’t understand. Obviously the guy never saw Benny Hill or Monty Python.
Or Milton Berle. Or Rudy Guiliani.
June 21st, 2008 at 10:39 pm