Roland Burris’s monument to himself.
By on Dec 31st, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Roland Burris’s monument to himself.
Politico notes that former Illinois attorney general Roland Burris, whom Gov. Rod Blagojevich chose to fill President-elect Obama’s Senate seat, has already erected his “future grave” in a Chicago cemetery. The grave “lists his accomplishments” and leaves “plenty of room above the bench to mention his career in the Senate”:
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Oh holy jebus.
*rolling eyes*
December 31st, 2008 at 3:10 pmAmbitious, ain't he?
December 31st, 2008 at 3:11 pmOh c'mon admit it, you're just mad he thought of it first.
I want a full-scale pyramid, myself.
And yeah, that is actually a grave, not a "grave." People get to have those, however ridiculous.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:15 pmIsn't it time to stop wasting valuable land with stuff like this?
December 31st, 2008 at 3:15 pmLove that humility.
He'd fit right in, in the Senate.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:17 pm“plenty of room above the bench to mention his career in the Senate”:
Actually, no. A poster at the site under the link "future grave" has a link to an even bigger photo of the grave/mausoleum. Under the words "Trail Blazer", it reads "First African-American in Illinois to Become" and then the list of achievements. Since he would not be the first African-American Senator from Illinois (nor the second), he could not add that to the center part. Maybe on one of the "wings" under "other achievements".
Link to bigger photo: http://www.flickr.com/photos/southbound_07/2750018934/sizes/o/
December 31st, 2008 at 3:18 pmdbadass Says:
Isn’t it time to stop wasting valuable land with stuff like this?
Right on. I'd like to get over my dead self and into the crematory when the day comes.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:20 pmI agree with #4 dbadass,,Let me also add how very odd, weird, what ever I find this.....My plan is to leave nothing, not even a foot print behind..It would be nice if someone planted a tree in my name with out a plaque though....Blessings
December 31st, 2008 at 3:21 pmThe story of humanity: freeing ourselves from the grip of people who need to build big marble temples to themselves. Phuk off, Roland, democrat or otherwise.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:22 pmEgo appointing Ego. Fascinating.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:22 pmWitch1 Says:
I agree with #4 dbadass,,Let me also add how very odd, weird, what ever I find this…..My plan is to leave nothing, not even a foot print behind..It would be nice if someone planted a tree in my name with out a plaque though….Blessings
Hello #1! Now a tree would not be a waste of land! Happy New Years!
December 31st, 2008 at 3:24 pmWayne A. Schneider Says:
Actually, no. A poster at the site under the link “future grave” has a link to an even bigger photo of the grave/mausoleum. Under the words “Trail Blazer”, it reads “First African-American in Illinois to Become” and then the list of achievements. Since he would not be the first African-American Senator from Illinois (nor the second), he could not add that to the center part.
Well he could use “First African-American in Illinois to Become”... "Appointed as a US Senator by a Governor arrested for trying to sell the position to the highest bidder."
Think that will fit?
December 31st, 2008 at 3:25 pmI wonder how much this monstrosity cost and, most important, who paid for it?
December 31st, 2008 at 3:26 pmSince he would not be the first African-American Senator from Illinois (nor the second), he could not add that to the center part.
Carol Moseley Braun was the first black elected senator from Ill, iirc; also the first black woman ever elected Senator from anywhere, afaik...
So, at best, he'd be the first African American from Illinois APPOINTED to the Senate by an indicted Governor...
December 31st, 2008 at 3:28 pmThe guy's a reg'lur 'trail-blazer', b'gawd...
modest, he ain't.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:30 pmWhy don't they just freeze his brain, and resuscitate it at some future point.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:30 pmWayne, LOL. It might fit if they make the letters really, really small. It would be better than, simply, "Highest Bidder". I'm sure that's not the case with this guy. He's clean, but he's just very, very ambitious and really, really wants to be in higher office again, but he kept getting rejected by the voters (in primaries, too) whenever he tried. Maybe he figures that even if he's a US Senator for a few months, he was still a US Senator. More than I'll ever get to say.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:30 pmMy plan for the disposition of my earthly remains is as follows:
December 31st, 2008 at 3:33 pm1) Cremation
2) Spread ashes on shaped 'long-board' blank
3) Glass
4) At HUMONGOID beach-gala, with copious amounts of c6h12o6, thc, and whatsoever other chemicals can be found and consumed, around a beach bon-fire, on the night of a full-moon, ebb-tide, push the board out to sea on the bosom of the cold Pacific, preferrably at Morro Bay.
5) finis (fin-is?)
It seems weirdly appropriate for him to have such a grand grave, he's on the cusp of needing it for his political career.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:33 pmAnd for the record, I hope to follow in J Nelson Rockefeller's footsteps.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:34 pmBurris would be crazy to refuse the appointment, in any case.
With only serving the remainder of Obama's term, still he'd qualify for the life-time pension, the medical care, and the rest of the perqs...
December 31st, 2008 at 3:35 pmThat's sort of morbid and creepy
December 31st, 2008 at 3:35 pmMe?
December 31st, 2008 at 3:36 pmHopefully, family and friends can plant a palm tree on any island in the Caribbean, and bury my ashes to help it grow.
Then margaritas for everyone!
One requirement. All must stay to watch the sun set over the sea!
Planning on "going out with a bang", Bobwurst?
December 31st, 2008 at 3:36 pmOn the surface, this looks like a demonstration of an ego gone out of control. But when you dig a little deeper, it looks like -- well, an ego gone out of control.
I look at it this way. I assume Burris paid for this plot and this grandiose marker himself. If he did, this is his business and shouldn't affect the rest of us (if he used taxpayer money for this, that's another matter). While this triggers mass eyerolls everywhere, it really doesn't fall into the category of selling senate seats, invading other countries without provocation, or trashing the economy. It even scores less than sleeping with prostitutes on the outrage scale.
It's always a good thing to make one's final arrangements while still alive -- this saves one's survivors from having to deal with that chore while they are grieving the death of their loved one. Kudos to Burris for this. However, it might have been prudent to file his directives away in a safe deposit box or with his lawyer, and have his Taj Mahal erected after his death. Otherwise, it just looks self-serving, and tends to take away from what may have been legitimate accomplishments instead of illuminating them.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:37 pmtokin librul Says:
Burris would be crazy to refuse the appointment, in any case.
With only serving the remainder of Obama’s term, still he’d qualify for the life-time pension, the medical care, and the rest of the perqs…
December 31st, 2008 at 3:35 pm Add Karma Recommend (0) | Report Abuse
My understanding is that any federal employee, up to and including the Vice President, must serve a minimum of 5 years to be eligible for retirement benefits. Please correct me if I'm wrong in any area.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:38 pmWith only serving the remainder of Obama’s term, still he’d qualify for the life-time pension, the medical care, and the rest of the perqs…
I believe Obama was elected Senator in 2006, and the governor's appointment would only be until a new Senator is elected in 2010 to fulfill the remaining two years of Obama's term. Then there's another race in 2012 for a new term altogether. Assuming that person doesn't go to jail, he or she will have a six-year term.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:39 pmBack at ya McWars,,,Scattering ash's is much prefered...Hope who ever is up to the chore will plant a nice Cedar any where...Happy New Year all and many Blessings, we deserve them..
December 31st, 2008 at 3:41 pmRight in the center of this monument are the words, in all capitals, TRAIL BLAZER.
I had no idea Roland played basketball for Portland.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:42 pmPersonally, I'm surprised that other politicians haven't done this already, especially in the U.S. Senate, where egos are large and brains are small.
The Senate did, after all, give Ted Stevens a standing ovation despite being a convicted criminal.
Like someone said upthread, Burris will fit right in.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:43 pmDRxJ Says:
I had no idea Roland played basketball for Portland.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Maybe Blago will appoint him...
What an egomaniac. I guess he has no better use for his money. Whatever.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:47 pmTP, what happened to your post about the record number of deaths this year in Afghanistan?
December 31st, 2008 at 3:47 pmTo say he was born to be a member of the U.S. Senate would be an understatement. What a prick, and so is Gov. Numb Nuts for appointing him.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:50 pmWhat an egomaniac. I guess he has no better use for his money. Whatever.
Probably why he was so surprised to learn from a reporter how much money he gave to Blago. He probably thought every penny he had went into his mausoleum.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:50 pmWayne A. Schneider Says:
What an egomaniac. I guess he has no better use for his money. Whatever.
Probably why he was so surprised to learn from a reporter how much money he gave to Blago. He probably thought every penny he had went into his mausoleum.
December 31st, 2008 at 3:50 pm
That must be it! :-D
December 31st, 2008 at 3:54 pmCan someone please just push my carcass over the side of a boat preferably about 20 nautical miles SE of Portland Maine. Thanks...
December 31st, 2008 at 3:59 pmI want to have my chest cavity hollowed out, filled with apples and then bury me unenbalmed.
Years later, after the inevitable apple tree grows to sufficient height, nail a small plaque to it with my stats and the words "EAT ME."
December 31st, 2008 at 4:04 pmIf one insists on tying up valuable real estate just for a place to be worm food, I think Vonnegut had it right in suggesting the epitaph...
"Here Lies Someone, Sometime to Sometime. He tried"
December 31st, 2008 at 4:17 pmElBruce Says:
I want to have my chest cavity hollowed out, filled with apples and then bury me unenbalmed.
Years later, after the inevitable apple tree grows to sufficient height, nail a small plaque to it with my stats and the words “EAT ME.”
December 31st, 2008 at 4:04 pm
"Here lies ElBruce, his chest cavity held 47 varieties of delicious, crunchy apples."
December 31st, 2008 at 4:18 pmLooking at his list of "firsts" and major accomplishments, you'd think they'd be in either ascending or descending order. Nope, the dates are all over the place.
If I saw a resume structured like that, I'd think the person was disorganized and intentionally trying to obfuscate something.
Plus, the State Seal of Illinois is on that marker. Does that imply Illinois contributed to this guy's monument?
December 31st, 2008 at 4:19 pm"I want my epitaph to be my resume. Did I mentioned I was married?"
December 31st, 2008 at 4:21 pmAfter I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one. — Marcus Porcius Cato (the Elder)
December 31st, 2008 at 4:27 pmI'm out.
December 31st, 2008 at 4:28 pmEveryone, have a Happy and SAFE New Years!
That is one sick puppy.
December 31st, 2008 at 4:44 pmHappy New Year, DRxJ!!
December 31st, 2008 at 4:46 pmNow everyone knows Mr. Burris and how well connected he is with G-Rod. Funny how Burris was G-Rod's second choice not his first. Yes G-Rod played the race card as the first candidate turned him down so he moved on to another African American who would take the offer. Burris has a good record but played the pay to play game to add this to his monument. Now a 5th grader knows Burris would again lost in an election but at 71 years old time isn't on his side for moving up in a higher position. Corrupt Politicians come in all races and sex in the US Govenment.
December 31st, 2008 at 4:47 pmmisshusseinmolly: yours was a thoughtful post...the only one on here...
December 31st, 2008 at 4:49 pmSo we have a fine master to judge the thoughtfulness of others. Great. Until you know my relationship with 20 nautical miles SE of Portland Maine, I would suggest you know not what you speak of liz09
December 31st, 2008 at 4:52 pmdbadass: your post was awesome. All the other ones on here totally suck (especially mine).
December 31st, 2008 at 5:05 pmI just looked at that "porch roof" thing again and realized it would take very little modification to make it read "HUBRIS."
Heh heh heh...
December 31st, 2008 at 5:06 pmliz09 Says:
misshusseinmolly: yours was a thoughtful post…the only one on here…
I guess you think your own post sucks too, then. heh
December 31st, 2008 at 5:21 pmI would have spent the money to send my ashes on a rocket into the sun
December 31st, 2008 at 5:34 pmI've had to bury family, some far too soon. The elders that lived the longest had care for us to make plans, but far too much humility to continuously chisel out their CV and "accomplishments to come".
Snark is no more or less thoughtful, it's just a coping mechanism to tolerate such narcissism as is coming from Burris and Blago.
December 31st, 2008 at 5:35 pmI don't know anything about this Burris fella, other than what I read.
And what I read is...
His firm, Burris Lebed & Associates represents the Illinois Cemetary and Funeral Home Association (possible explanation for his over-the-top plot)
He served as the Vice Chairman of the Blagojevich Transition Team (which would mean he had a hand in setting up this scandalous Governorship)
http://www.burrislebed.com/partners.html
December 31st, 2008 at 6:07 pmOh, we are special, aren't we?
December 31st, 2008 at 6:30 pmLook I don't know anything about this Burris fella either but the little I have seen of him & how he has been conducting himself brings me to the conclusion that he is an idiot,shameless & has no conscience.Just think for a moment what kind of person would want a job given to you by someone whose's character & ethics are perverse that they are about to be indicted ?A shameles sick person would & that is what Burris is.The fact that it is legal does not make it the right thing for Burris to accept.
December 31st, 2008 at 6:41 pmI'm disappointed he doesn't have "hall monitor" under his achievements, gimme a break, what a bloated ego.
December 31st, 2008 at 6:49 pmoOOO a seat to sit and reflect on his greatness. Please supply pillows.
What can I say about a man obsessed with his death?
December 31st, 2008 at 7:11 pmElBruce Says:
Oh c'mon admit it, you're just mad he thought of it first.
I want a full-scale pyramid, myself.
Yeah, with secret tunnels.
December 31st, 2008 at 7:12 pmGood to see he's humble for a change...HAHA
December 31st, 2008 at 7:55 pmSome people I know have already bought their grave sites/crypts, caskets, and planned the music for the church.
A little too macabre for me.
This reminds me of that.
Anyone ever see the movie Rocket Gibraltar?
December 31st, 2008 at 8:42 pmIt looks more like a bus stop than a monument.
December 31st, 2008 at 8:50 pmHe can go right now there and sit on this ugly self-monument and wait...
December 31st, 2008 at 10:16 pmHey, I already had that place picked out !!!! I figure with the tides in the area you could float by OOB 3 or 4 times before you finally suck to the bottom as shark, crab, and/or lobster bait.
+++++
dbadass Says:
-------------------------------------------------------------
Can someone please just push my carcass over the side of a boat preferably about 20 nautical miles SE of Portland Maine. Thanks…
December 31st, 2008 at 3:59 pm
January 1st, 2009 at 12:49 amararatararat,
If you and dbadass could coordinate on your dates of death, that would be peachy. Boat rentals are a bit pricey...
January 1st, 2009 at 1:21 amIt's difficult to satire these people when they do such a good job themselves.
January 1st, 2009 at 2:06 amOh, this is utterly bizarre. Oy.
January 1st, 2009 at 5:04 amI think the fact that Burris is doing this himself, before his death, is an indication that he doesn't feel he can trust his survivors to adequately convey his life's achievements for posterity.
And that's a sad comment on all his accomplishments; that he doesn't trust his own family to give him a proper burial.
January 1st, 2009 at 9:22 amI wonder when he dies, if he'll still have that big "swallowed a coat hanger" smile on his face. He looks like "Smilin' Bob" from the Enzyte commercials...
January 1st, 2009 at 10:25 amHe also named his son Roland and his daughter Rolanda.
January 1st, 2009 at 9:53 pmWe're probably stuck with Reckless Rod's gotcha Jiu Jitstu for at least 2 years until the GOP will get their candidate elected by voters disgusted by the pitiful performance of the Illinois Democrats.
Blago's our Bush. Arrogant and autocratic and just plain stoopid.
Yeah that seems pretty outlandish... I mean first of all, he might not even die... then what??!!
To the people who want to burn themselves once dead because they don't want to even leave a footprint... then you should have your body laid out in the forest somewhere to decompose and be eaten... burning it doesn't do any good - just adds more pollution.
January 2nd, 2009 at 3:26 am#54: CitiDC Says:
His firm, Burris Lebed & Associates represents the Illinois Cemetary and Funeral Home Association (possible explanation for his over-the-top plot)
That sounds like a perfectly rational explanation to me. They probably offered him a fancy memorial package in lieu of some pay, which would be perfectly legitimate.
January 2nd, 2009 at 10:34 amMakes me think of Victor Hugo's observation:"Death has a broad back! What a great load of honors it can be made to bear, and how assiduous are the minds of men that they can use even the tomb in the service of vanity."
January 7th, 2009 at 12:27 pmThis looks like the perfect place to make a 'pit stop' when visiting Oak Woods Cemetary.
January 8th, 2009 at 5:55 pmThank You For Much
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