Aiming for climate action? Maybe not

I saw The Hunger Games over the weekend. It’s entertaining for sure — so it’s no surprise that it’s already grossed $250 million in 10 days. And that suggests far more people have already seen the movie then will ever read the book.

What’s unfortunate is that as far as I could see, the movie has excised what little the book spoke to post-apocalyptic global warming (see “The Hunger Games: Post-Apocalypse Now For Young Adults“). The one sentence in all three of the books  a youI could find that suggested that the suppressed revolution that led to the creation of the annual slaughter-fest known as “the hunger games”  was preceded by a climate-driven apocalypse is gone:

[The mayor]  tells of the history of Panem. He lists the disasters, the droughts, the storms, the fires, the encroaching seas that swallowed up so much of the land, the brutal war for what little sustenance remained. The result was Panem, a shining Capitol ringed by thirteen districts…”

Indeed, much of the hunger is removed from the hunger games. Yes, people are still hungry outside of the Capitol, but the book was very clear that the winner of the hunger games “receives a life of ease back home, and their district will be showered with prizes, largely consisting of food,” all year round.

I didn’t see that in the movie, which makes the motivation of the heroine, Katniss Everdeen, simply her desire to protect her sister (a motivation that was also present in the book). But without making clear that the winner is fighting to feed the whole district, frankly, some aspects of the movie don’t quite work.

Obviously, that’s what the author, Suzanne Collins wanted, since she co-authored the screenplay. The movie is really not terribly post-apocalyptic at all. Indeed, the Capitol — and the  outlandish costumes and makeup of the pampered citizens — bears the closest relationship to prerevolutionary France. The only thing missing was “let them eat cake,” and,  if you see the movie, then even that line is basically assumed.

No, the movie has nothing to do with global warming, and is far more the 99% vs the 1%, a theme that will certainly become clearer in the subsequent movies as it does in the books.

So anybody out there who wants to assert that popular culture is somehow embracing global warming will have to find  a different blockbuster movie. Good luck — see Apocalypse Not: The Oscars, The Media And The Myth of ‘Constant Repetition of Doomsday Messages’ on Climate.

Ted Alvarez at Grist has a fascinating post, “Katniss Evergreen: Do ‘Hunger Games’ fans care about climate?” in which he talks to fans in the movie line. He notes that “Suzanne Collins’ fleet prose is built for action; she largely skips the details of her futuristic world of Panem so that we can get on with the underage stabbin’.” He wonders if one line in the book is “enough for kids to draw connections between the fantasy world du jour and their own? Can Hunger Games make this generation care more about climate than the last?”

Alvarez writes:

Curiously absent from this conversation are the Voices of the Youth themselves. So I decided to head into the belly of the beast: I would go to a midnight premiere in downtown Seattle to talk to the climate disaster survivors of the future. (It would be like war reporting, but with higher-pitched screams.)

Here’s what he learns:

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Inhofe family igloo, which they claim is "Al Gore's Home." Leaked emails prove otherwise.

Internal documents acquired by Climate Progress reveal that the Flatland Institute is planning to indoctrinate infants with a “Baby Inhofe” series of DVDs and videos. Flatland is a right-wing, anti-science think tank funded by the Koch brothers, the Resources Development Administration, and other corporate pollutocrats.

These shocking videos, which have also been acquired  by Climate Progress, use famous children’s songs to spread disinformation to those who are most at risk from coal pollution. Here’s one grotesque example:

Frosty the coal man is a jolly happy soul…
There must be magic in clean coal technology
For when they looked for pollutants
There was nearly none to see.

I played the entire DVD for my daughter and I swear she turned on every light in the house and started babbling about cosmic rays and the medieval warm period.

UPDATE: I originally reported that the website DeSmogBlog explained, “An anonymous donor calling him (or her)self ‘Flatland Insider’ has released the Flatland Institute’s budget, fundraising plan, Baby Inhofe strategic distribution plan, emails from Inhofe proving neither Al Gore nor his family ever lived in an igloo … and sundry other documents that prove all of the worst allegations that have been levelled against the organization and Inhofe.”

I must now confess that I am that insider, and I acquired those documents through an incredibly elaborate deception. Allow me to explain.

Two weeks ago, I sent the following email to every staffer and board member at the Flatland Institute:

STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL

FROM: Dr. Volde Mort
Central Bank of Nigeria
Lagos, Nigeria
01-658-21-2658

Dear Sir or Madam:

I have been requested by the Nigerian National Petroleum Company to contact you for assistance in resolving a matter. The NNPC has recently concluded a large number of contracts for oil exploration in the sub-Sahara region. The contracts have immediately produced moneys equaling US$40,000,000. The NNPC is desirous of oil exploration in other parts of the world since Nigeria is pretty much tapped out and covered with oil from spills and general negligence on our part; however, because of certain socialistic regulations of the Nigerian Government, developed I think by Barack Obama in his youth, it is unable to move these funds to another region.

Your assistance is requested as a non-Nigerian citizen who believes in drill, baby, drill to assist the NNPC, and also the Central Bank of Nigeria, in moving these funds out of Nigeria. If the funds can be transferred to you or your excellent non profit in a U.S. account, then you can forward the funds as directed by the NNPC. In exchange for your accommodating services, the NNPC would agree to allow you to retain 10%, or US$4 million of this amount. Plus free gasoline for life and a 10%-off coupon for inhalers.

However, to be a legitimate transferee of these moneys according to Nigerian law, you must presently be a depositor of at least US$100,000 in a Nigerian bank which is regulated by the Central Bank of Nigeria.

I also need every single confidential document and email relating to the operation of your wise non-profit to confirm that you are funded by U.S. oil companies and generally destructive of the environment as we are.

If it will be possible for you to assist us at your earliest convenience, we would be most grateful; very quickly the liberal Nigerian Government will realize that the Central Bank is maintaining this amount on deposit, and attempt to levy certain depository taxes on it, just like big government bureaucrats always do.

Thank you for your help.

P.S. This is not a scam.

I am sorry to admit publicly that there is no Dr. Volde Mort of the Central Bank of Nigeria. That was me. I have pledged to return the $2.3 million I collected from 23 Flatland employees. I feel particularly bad about the 2 marriage proposals I received.

Let me explain that my motivation for this deception was that global warming is the gravest threat humanity faces. It is one of those things that cause our children great suffering even though they are not to blame. Kind of like American Idol or Adam Sandler movies, but I do think global warming is more serious. That I suppose is no excuse for crossing the line, and again, I apologize.

Memo to: Fellow Members of Congress

From: Darrell Issa, Republican of California

Re: Support for legislation to abolish an antiquated law.

I urge you to join us in sponsoring the Hall-Latta-Flake-Issa-Upton-Noem-Goodlatte Act.

For too long, science has been trotted out to justify environmental protection, when it is actually being used to mask tax-and-spend policies that sink our economy. With that in mind, I ask you to support the next logical step in our Republican Caucus’ crusade to abolish job-killing “environmental” laws and excessive regulations. Please join us in cosponsoring H.R. 32174, a bill to repeal the Law of Gravity.

Congress never passed this law. No president signed it. No court reviewed it. Not even Al Gore voted for it. As Sen. James Inhofe has said of putative “global warming,” so-called gravity is “the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people.”

Congress never intended that whatever goes up must come down — with the exception of taxes.

H.R. 32174, also known as the “Newt, not Newton Act,” simply restores scientific understanding to where it was before 1687. Our bill would give this Congress the opportunity to consider economic impact when setting gravitational levels, and roll back a law that, as Gov. Rick Perry said of evolution, is really just a theory.

Even President Obama observed in his inaugural address that we need to “restore science to its rightful place.” So, after government scientists officially declared that global warming is harmful, we voted to repeal their finding. To restore a proper balance between Americans’ health and healthy profits, we voted to undo key administration proposals issued under the Clean Air Act.

Now, my House Oversight and Government Reform Committee will conduct hearings, with scientist witnesses representing both sides of the “gravity” issue, just as we did on supposed “global warming.” “Gravity” skeptics will testify under oath that “gravity” is a fraud.

“Gravity” alarmists covered up internal emails that demonstrated their own questions about “gravitational pull,” which the emails acknowledge has remained unchanged for 324 years. So, we will hold a hearing next week, “Gravitygate: How Do You Like Them Apples?” Read more

GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney shocked the political world today with his plan to eliminate nearly half the national debt in his first term in office.

Romney told a hastily assembled news conference:

After that Etch A Sketch thing, I realized I would never be able to erase who I am. So I decided to be who I am. I sold my soul to the devil so that everything I touch will turn to gold. Oh by the way, he prefers to be called Mephistopheles.

What used to be called the Midas touch will now officially be called the Romney touch, or, rather, the Rmoney touch, since one of the conditions of this deal was changing my name.

As President Rmoney, I can pay off the national debt — single-handedly. That’s a joke, get it? Under the terms of the contract, I must create 1 billion tons of gold a year and use all the money just for debt reduction. At current prices of $1666 an ounce, that will cover almost half the debt in my first term and most of the rest if you the American people see fit to reelect me.

You should know that I did not take this step lightly.  I conferred with many people who have made their own pact with Mephistopheles, including Kim Kardashian, Ryan Seacrest, and of course Sarah Palin.

But ultimately the decision was mine. I will take no questions at this time.

White House spokesman Jay Carney was quoted as saying, “We’re delighted Mr. Romney, that is, Mr. Rmoney, can pay off the national debt. But of course he doesn’t have to be elected president for that. President Obama personally assured me that he has his own contract that guarantees his reelection. Oh, perhaps, I’ve said too much.”

The triumphant day for Rmoney was marred by the kind of mistake that has plagued his campaign. After the speech, his son Tagg ran up to congratulate him and was accidentally turned into solid gold. The Rmoney family said they would establish a research institute devoted to turning Tagg back to flesh and in the meantime would keep him as a lawn ornament in their new La Jolla mansion next to the car elevator and air-conditioned beach.

In related news, the price of gold crashed to $66.60 an ounce on news that there was now an unlimited supply about to be dumped on the market. Mephistopheles was quoted as saying, “Bwa-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha. Bwa.”