Show Me Your Teeth

Well, looks like Sam Worthington might get to be Dracula, in addition to Perseus, a Hero to the Native Peoples of Pandora, and a robot who thinks he’s a dude.  Aside from the fact that this seems like a terrible casting choice (come on, is this the face of Vlad the Impaler, people:

Sam Worthington by yotambientengosuperpoderes.
Image used under a Creative Commons license courtesy the excellently-named yotambientengosuperpoderes.

I didn’t think so.) every time studios make one of these awful-looking vampire movies, they take a step away from doing a serious and gorgeous adaptation of The Historian, the best, and most grown-up, vampire novel to come out and become available for adaptation in years.  There’s theoretically a Historian movie in production (Sony owns the film rights), but with no public cast information available, I feel the need to treat it with as much credulity as the recurring rumors, mostly died down now, that someone is doing a movie version of The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay.  It’s really too bad.  The Historian places vampirism in an entirely different context than the wan abstinence and immortal youth narratives so predominant today, but it’s still a pretty sexy book.  The difference is that the sexual tension is between adults rather than teenagers, and those adults are serious academics.  A movie treatment of the novel could tap both the vampire craze and folks like me who like nerdy professorial movies (see Possession), and movies about relationships between actual adults.  Which is probably why it’ll never get made.