Singer, Novelist, And 2006 Texas Gubernatorial Candidate Kinky Friedman Talks Rick Perry’s Presidential Run

Now that Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) is running for president, I did what any self-respecting culture nerd (particular one with a fondness for satirical country country songs) would do: I called Kinky Friedman, the musician, mystery novelist, and Texas legend who ran as an Independent against Perry for governor in 2006. We discussed his disillusionment with President Obama — and with both major parties — the weaknesses of American governors, Texas’ record on the death penalty, and Perry’s direct line to God. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.

Unlike the other candidates in the Republican primary, you’ve actually debated Rick Perry before — and in 2006, you accused him of ducking debates. Do you think he’s ready to perform on the national stage? And what advice would you offer opponents who are looking to beat him?

Well, at this point, I’d probably support Charlie Sheen over Obama. Rick and I are also incapable of resisting each other’s charms. To beat Rick is going to be tough. He’s never lost an election, and that’s not just luck…I see the Democrats, their merciless mocking of the Tea Party, when they’re not busy mocking Michele Bachmann or Sarah Palin…I haven’t seen this kind of intellectual snobbery come from the Republicans, just because they’re not very intellectual…It’s turned me off on the Democrats…These people are not racists. They shouldn’t be demonized. And they could’ve been Democrats…I understand [Democrats] are hanging on to Obama for dear life. ..But [Perry]’s more than a politician. He’s kind of a musician. He played drums once for ZZ Top, that’s something. When I lost the race in 2006, I was really mad at both the Crips and the Bloods [Friedman repeatedly compared the major parties to the infamous street gangs], still am. I drove off in a 1937 snit, I did not concede to Perry. And three days later he calls me, and he was very, very gracious, and very thoughtful, I thought. And I thought here’s a guy who’s not just a musician or a politician. This guy’s a mensch.

During the 2006 campaign, you criticized Perry on everything from his immigration policy to his record on energy. What do you think he’d do differently as president?

I think Rick, like all governors, has not done an inspirational job. But I’m trying to think of a governor who has. I’m trying to think of one who I really respect or admire. Sometimes in politics and in life, greatness comes where you don’t expect it. I have an intuition that Rick has more to offer us than he’s given so far. He’s on top of the jobs and the economy thing, which is what we need. He may not be the teachers’ friend. That’s as it may be…Obama’s candidacy, which was a brilliant one, [cast him] as a much ballyhooed person who was gong to do all of these things, or at least inspire us. Like JFK did, I remember that personally. That’s why I joined the Peace Corps. Whatever you say about JFK, he inspired millions of young people around the world…Why has Obama always been behind the curve, which is the safe spot for politicians? He’s a little Chicago political spirit, apparently. If there’s something else there, I don’t see it.

Is there else anyone who impresses you in the race? In recent days, Jon Huntsman seems like he’s loosened up a little bit, but it’s pretty sad that support for evolution and confessing you like Captain Beefheart count as straight talk.

We really need Judge Judy as President and [personal finance radio host] Dave Ramsay handling the Treasury. They don’t give a damn what people think about them. Whereas Obama and Perry, that’s all they think about. I wouldn’t even put Rick at the level that Obama appears to be at. A politician can’t get us there. There is not a Churchill in sight. The guy that comes the closest to being a human being is Chris Christie… I’m certainly not a Republican, and if I was getting any warm and fuzzy feelings from Obama or inspirational feelings, I’d let you know. Someone like Huey Long, he was able to advance civil rights in his state. Admittedly, he was corrupt, but he was charming and charismatic as hell. You don’t see politicians like that any more, [particularly like] Ann Richards, Molly Ivins, and Barbara Jordan, all women, who represent the best the Democrats have to offer.

What about Perry’s decision to go ahead with the execution of Cameron Todd Willingham?

It’s very possible, that an innocent man, I believe, was executed on Perry’s watch…I’m not the kind of guy who could get something done about getting rid of the death penalty in Texas. When W was governor, we were wacking someone every 2 weeks. It’s like a mental hospital. I could put you in a mental hospital, and after a while it’s hard to get out. That’s what’s happened with our prison system, there’s a 5-10 percent ratio of people who are just wrongly convicted…we don’t want to show how rotten and shitty our system is. We don’t want to admit it.

Why do you think Perry will be different as President than he’s been as Governor on something like the death penalty?

Because I think governors of these states are largely wealthy, white, not too intelligent men. Rick has certainly been better than Mark Sanford or [Arnold] Schwarzenegger, and in the area that is really germane today to our lives, that is economy and jobs. It’s not criminal justice. Criminal justice is important to those of us who are about justice, life, and death, the wrongful death of the state killing anyone. I care about that every much. But I don’t think that’s going to elect anybody. It’s going to be the economy…I think being president is a vastly different job. Being governor is like being a hall monitor…If I’m a Republican candidate, and I toe the whole Republican line, then that’s the problem. You can’t have a candidate like Kinky Friedman who’s pro-gay marriage and pro-prayer in schools. Because the party tells them what to think.

Do you think we need an Independent candidate in the race to shake things up?

An independent would elect Obama, so I don’t think we need that…The wrong people are getting in politics. The good people are avoiding it like the plague…We have to share some of the blame. Twenty-six percent of people voted in the election I ran for governor. If we had mandatory voting like they do in Australia, I’d have won in the landslide. Perry got his people out and his party suppressed the vote. All I’m saying is that the crowd always picks Barabas. The crowd always says kill Jesus, pick Barabas. If we got the right Churchill here, I don’t know that he could win. We haven’t heard from Barabas [the thief and murderer spared instead of Jesus]. He’s never saved a soul. Never even won a football game. It’s pretty clear, we were wrong, the crowd. It’s been downhill from there.

So given everything you’ve said about Perry, are you planning on campaigning for him?

That’s to be seen…I think the Lord wants me to stay out of politics. I think the Lord has bigger things in mind for the Kinkster. I don’t know what they are. Maybe I’ll ask Rick.