When It Comes to ‘The Hunger Games,’ Beware Susceptible Lady Critics and Their Tendencies Towards the Vapors

Seriously, dude?

Be wary of reviews by female critics, as they’re probably more susceptible to the lore of this young-female-adult-propelled franchise than most. I don’t even know what to make of this declaration by Movieline’s Stephanie Zacharek: “The surprise of The Hunger Games isn’t that it lives up to its hype — it’s that it plays as if that hype never even existed, which may be the trickiest achievement a big movie can pull off these days.” If there’s one thing that defines Gary Ross’s film, it’s a feeling that he and his Hunger Games producers were acutely aware they were adapting a wildly popular literary property, and that they’d best serve the fantasies and sensibilities of its young female readers.

Because if you’re a female critic, and you happen to find art that’s about people of your gender, and about people of your gender being strong, and emotions women sometimes have about choosing romantic partners and being providers, you are just heeding the siren song of your easily-duped ladybits. But if you’re a dude who appreciates stories about, oh, I don’t know, chauvinist advertising executives, or violent automobile drivers, or self-absorbed Hawaiian landowners who happen to have your particular variety of sexual equipment, you’ve got discerning taste.