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Vatican: The Solution to Pollution is Damnation

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"Vatican: The Solution to Pollution is Damnation"

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Polluting the Earth is now a mortal sin, according to the Vatican. And you thought I was being an alarmist when I wrote Hell and High Water. This is, I suppose, the ultimate form of waste-to-energy incineration:

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The original Italian interview with Gianfranco Girotti, head of the Apostolic Penitentiary (!) which is in charge of confession, is here. Fortunately, Bloomberg has made an English cheat sheet for the seven new mortal sins:

  1. ‘Bioethical’ violations such as birth control
  2. Morally dubious” experiments such as stem cell research
  3. Drug abuse
  4. Polluting the environment
  5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor
  6. Excessive wealth
  7. Creating poverty

I’m afraid Americans in heaven will be as rare as … as rare as … pretty much every one else in the industrialized world.

I am interested in your thoughts on the appropriate punishment for polluters. Here are The original offences and their punishments“:

  1. Pride: Broken on the wheel
  2. Envy: Put in freezing water
  3. Gluttony: Forced to eat rats, toads, and snakes
  4. Lust: Smothered in fire and brimstone
  5. Anger: Dismembered alive
  6. Greed: Put in cauldrons of boiling oil
  7. Sloth: Thrown in snake pits

Assuming there is some threshold below which one’s pollution isn’t sinful, then I’d be okay with combining, in succession, the punishments for gluttony, pride, envy, and and greed. If there isn’t a threshold, then I’m thinking … heck, what am I worrying for — I’m not Catholic (don’t be fooled by my last name — it was shortened from Romanoff).

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10 Responses to Vatican: The Solution to Pollution is Damnation

  1. Paul K says:

    Way back then when I was in Catholic school, a favorite punishment was making us scrape all the gum from all the sidewalks within a three block radius of the school. I’m sure something analogous could be worked out for polluters. By the way, Joe, since you are not an environmentalist, you better watch out. Not being of the Faith provides you no protection. As Tommy Smothers famously said about the Catholics, “They’ll get you!”

  2. Martin says:

    I’ve just blogged on this myself (http://layscience.net/?q=node/70), dismantling each of the “sins” in turn. Even if I were a Christian, I don’t see how you can follow a set of statements that – when you analyze them – are basically meaningless…

  3. David B. Benson says:

    There isn’t enough boiling oil to go around.

    Heard of Peak Oil?

    :-)

  4. Peter Foley says:

    Looks like the AGWers are going to burn in a carbon based hell for creating poverty, and morally dubious economic experiments to slow use of carbon. Remember you have to confess your sins and honestly intend to sin no more while making amends to the injured to avoid everlasting Damnation. I would think any type of sustainability cult would be anaethema to the Catholic Church–less customers is bad for business.

  5. Bou Guss says:

    The vatican is just filled with hipicrites. To them heaven is little boys on their knees just waiting for a white gooy wafer to be deposited on tounge.

  6. Chris Schneider says:

    Boy, those HIPICRITES! Walking around in paisley nehru jackets and listening to the Vanilla Fudge all the time. Christ, are we going to losing the war on the environment because it’s “better to be wrong than agree with the Pope? ” I bet we’re going to start believing in Creation theory because the Vatican accepts it as a scientific reality. We should take the children of polluters and make them clean toxic waste dumps all over the country; perhaps be used living sponges to soak up PCB’s and dioxin. Why their children? Because it is going to be someone’s children’s problem to deal with in the future and its better the ones who caused the problem than mine.

  7. sarah says:

    Hell is real it is the lake of fire for sinful unrepenting man and if you don’t repent in your lifetime before you die you will be destined for hell when jesus returns and resurrects all for judgement. And anyones names not found written in the book of life were cast into the lake of fire.
    The second death. And I believe we are living in the end times the last days.

  8. SAMUEL ARTHUR says:

    HMMM!!, I NEVER WANT TO GO TO SUCH A PLACE. EVEN IF I SHLD LOOK AT THE LITTLE FIRE I CREATE IN MY HOUSE AND HOW IT LOOKS LIKE, AND THIS ONE I DARE SERVE GOD WELL SO THAT I DONT ENTER INTO SUCH A PLACE.
    I WANT MY NAME TO BE WRITTEN IN THE BOOK OF LIFE TO ESCAPE THIS FEARFUL PLACE BECAUSE THERE IS NO LIFE IN THIS PLACE NO WATER, NO FOOD BUT THERE ARE PROVISIONS FOR ALL THESE IN HEAVEN.
    I SAMUEL, PROMISE NOT TO ENTER THIS PLACE!!!!!!

  9. Lucifer says:

    “Hell” is not full of polluters…’Heaven” is. Also there are no flames and eternal torment here. Eternal torment is spending all of eternity on your knees looking at the shity filthy wormy dirt under them,with the wonders of the unvirse on display above you. you only need to rise and open your eyes. THIS is what god wishes you to do, and only those who learn this will EVER be admitted into his presence. It was gods wish that I should convince you to open them. Because you feared the mysteries you beheld, you think me evil. I only did Gods will, I do it still.