David Letterman: Top Ten BP Excuses

Count on Dave for some gallows humor:

10. The Gulf of Mexico was overdue for its 3,000-mile oil change.
9. We promise we’ll get around to it by Labor Day.
8. Relax, it’s only leaking 210,000 gallons a day.
7. Giving everyone a free BP travel mug.
6. Louisiana hasn’t had a disaster in 5 years.
5. Guy from Goldman Sachs said it would make money.
4. Blame FEMA.
3. Did you hear Ricky Martin’s gay?
2. Blame Toyota.
1. Honestly, we’re so reckless — surprised it took this long

Hmm. I’ve been on the show —  As seen on David Letterman! (In my defense, this is “Odd day”) — so maybe they read CP:

8 Responses to David Letterman: Top Ten BP Excuses

  1. Anne says:

    Chris Matthews offers a “teaching moment” last night on Hardball’s ending segment he calls “Let Me Finish…” asking, when does “THEIR” oil (that is, BP’s) become “OUR” problem? Answer: when it leaks and makes a bloody mess, that’s when. This silent, insidious property transfer of crude at the moment it becomes a liability rather than a lucrative asset should be questioned overtly, loudly.

    The $75 million cap on corporate liability so myopically adopted in the 1990 Oil Pollution Act needs to be removed: Senator Menendez (NJ) has joined with Senators Nelson and Lautenberg to raise the cap to $10 billion.

    One question I have is — why put a cap on it at all?

  2. substanti8 says:

    11.  We had a great insurance policy on the rig.

  3. Rick Covert says:

    While it may not be clear who is at the root cause of this disaster for the moment the ones who are going to pick up the tab for the cleanup have been clearly established.

  4. substanti8 says:

    12.  It stands for beached petroleum.  You mean you really believed all that nonsense about “beyond”?

  5. Ben says:

    Not on topic:
    Ken Cuccinelli strikes again.

  6. Thanks Joe. But Letterman’s comments tend to disappear for some reason. He is perhaps the strongest commenter on global warming…could that be why?

    I wanted to remind us all of Letterman’s superb rant in which he said “We are SO SCREWED!” – a review of the book “Hot, Flat and Crowded” Many of us have seen that incisive piece.. but it no longer available on YouTube.

    That stinks. I have no idea why it is gone, perhaps because it was so strong? Why would they pull that video?

  7. Stephen Watson says:

    As the old saying goes “Profit is private. Loss is public.”

  8. Lewis W. says:

    RE: #6 why has video been pulled.

    I’d guess, given Big Media’s Holy War on Piracy, it has little/nothing to do with what was in the clip and everything to do with not getting dollars off every view of it.

    The ‘censorship’ the take-down provides is only a secondary benefit.