You should totally apologize to BP

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"You should totally apologize to BP"

For more BP humor see Best BP Oil Disaster cartoon so far? and click here.

Here’s one of the funnier apologies:


Dear BP: I’m sorry. from Bill Barol on Vimeo.

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13 Responses to You should totally apologize to BP

  1. Zach P says:

    BP, I’m sorry my Gulf of Mexico is diluting your creation, the Sea of Oil.

  2. Ani says:

    We must get as many of us small people as we can to issue a group apology. We have no right to blame BP just because many now have no way to pay for the mortgage, healthcare, or food. We are sorry that not all of us have a MBA which seems to be a requirement to have expert knowledge in all areas.

  3. Dallas says:

    BP,

    I’m sorry I called you a bacteria. in reality, It’ll be bacteria that end up cleaning up your mess.

  4. James Harper says:

    The “submit a text comment” field only returns “Sorry, your page had expired. Please try again.”

  5. lizardo says:

    Dear BP: I’m so sorry that I ever donated one cent or a second’s thought to protecting whales, or dolphins, or turtles, or pelicans or…. What a waste of time and money. What was I thinking?

    If I’d known of your plan to rid the Gulf of Mexico and other rich waters of pesky paperwork-inducing life forms I’d have known better, and it was totally my fault for not seeing what was clear as day to you and your company. My bad.

    I’m sorry that I called my representative and Senators, not just once, but several times over the years, asking them to protect the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge from oil drilling. I really wasn’t aware that walruses were already in the response plans. My bad again.

    I’m sorry that I didn’t know that you had a much better funded and organized “grassroots” group than I did.

    I’m sorry that once in a blue moon over the years I’ve bought BP gas, because I thought that you were simply as bad all the oil companies, and not the living incarnation of evil.

    I’m sorry that one local independent station has removed all sign of your company from it’s pumps.

    I’m sorry I bought gas there to support him and that you’ll get so little of my $10 to pay for the so-called clean up and damages, but I’m afraid once oil conservation becomes a habit, it’s hard to break. Sorry about that.

    I’m sorry that I thought that BP still stood for British Petroleum. I’m sorry that I thought “beyond petroleum” was just a slogan. It turns out that “beyond petroleum” also means “behind petroleum” and “before petroleum” which turns out to be both one mile deep and right on the doorstep of those bloody pelicans.

    I’m sorry I have never bothered to tour Canary Wharf, but now that you are moving half your London staff there, I do so want to visit.

    I’m sorry I didn’t pay more attention to the pelican part of “The Pelican Brief.”

    I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry. And I’m so sorry this apology is so long. I know you are busy and all.

    (p.s. to Bill Barol, I don’t get it why anyone has to apologize for that.)

    (And I really like Zach’s apology at #1. It must be a real nuisance having to filter the shrimp and seawater out of all that lovely oil.)

  6. Yes BP have displayed a cavalier lack of preparedness for coping with a crisis and allowing such to become a disaster.

    Yes BP executives have demonstrated an insensitivity of incredible proportions by making inane comments that turn apologies into insults to intelligence, senses of decency and fair play.

    However it is the role of the shareholder driven markets with the race for year on year growth in the absence of which stock is devalued the fear of this drives risk taking on the grounds of saving costs. To be sure there must be an underlying element of profiteering too.

    BP and its executives deserve all the condemnation that is coming their way and deserve to take a financial hit themselves for their lack of responsibility. Just what was Hayward being paid for considering his, professed, lack of ability to answer questions fully at the recent hearing?

    Hoever, let us not lose sight of the fact that others were involved here. Why is Obama not highlighting the roles of these other outfits in this disaster? Take the role of Transocean who owned and operated the Deepwater Horizon. Transocean CEO is American Steven Newman.

    ‘Gulf of Mexico oil spill: Transocean silent as BP bears the brunt of anger’

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/newsbysector/energy/oilandgas/7806200/Gulf-of-Mexico-oil-spill-Transocean-silent-as-BP-bears-the-brunt-of-anger.html

    Extracts:

    ‘Mr Newman and Transocean have very different safety concerns now. The firm owned operated the doomed Deepwater Horizon rig that was blown apart in April while drilling a well for BP, killing 11 workers and unleashing the disastrous Gulf of Mexico oil spill.

    As a result, Mr Newman seems to have lost the taste for the spotlight that he in displayed in Mumbai last year. Instead, he and his company have maintained a notably low profile, even as oil this weekend reaches the white sand beaches of Florida and grim images of seabirds coated in crude dominate front pages.

    Their absence is in stark contrast to the spectacular vilification of British firm BP and its chief executive Tony Hayward, who has become public enemy number one for both Washington and the wider American public.’

    ‘In the interview, Mr Newman emphasised the importance of safety but also the company’s “can-do” principle of challenging the boundaries of nature though innovation and new technology.

    Transocean – corporate motto: “we’re never out of our depth” – is an industry behemoth which employs 18,000 people in 30 countries, but is based in the landlocked canton of Zug, Switzerland, for tax purposes.’

    Is it not time that companies should not be able to get out of paying taxes on profit to the countries which host their operations and shoulder the burden of risk from their lackadaisical operating methodologies?

    It is not just BP that deserves and needs a shake up, the whole rotten industry does, financially and ethically.

  7. Bill Waterhouse says:

    you really couldn’t make this stuff up –

    Tony Hayward today is racing his boat “Bob” around the Isle of Wight in the “JP Morgan Asset Management Round the Island Race”

    this should help Obama decide which asset to kick

    insert your punchline here _____________________

  8. The Isle of Wight Round the Island Race is a sail boat race and here can be found an image of Tony ‘I’ve got my life back’ Hayward’s boat (part owned):

    http://www.roundtheisland.org.uk/web/code/php/main_c.php?map=rir10&style=std&ui=rir2&override=&section=event&page=photoview2010&pgall=G1&pfield=KEYWORDS&pmatch=SIMILAR&pvalue=Hayward&submit=Search

  9. prokaryote says:

    Quitgas! Clean, Quiet, Fun, Electric Motorcycle
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rzi4tL3QMWk

  10. Dianne George says:

    I’m sorry I minored in biological studies at UC when I got my bachelors –to not live in blissful ignorance, I ruminate over the web of life with the smallest microorganisms at the bottom all the way up to the larger mammals and, YES MAN IS AT THE TOP! The Gulf will be one big dead zone — and, catastrophically, could affect us all; Somehow I hope for a miracle,or at best that Kevin Costner’s ‘Ocean Therapy Solutions,’ machine, a centrifuge separating oil from water, will come to the rescue, and give man a repreive once again — but will history repeat itself, once again, since the Oil Co’s can’t seem to learn from their mistakes!? Perhaps mother nature will come to the rescue, or more pointedly, show her “back-side” to man, for his lack of stewardship to nature’s bounty; Until this drama unfolded,I didn’t know there were so many oil spills, even prior to the Exon Valdez — Was I not paying attention, or were they purposely denying us information on them? (Why tell the “little people”, after all !!!!!)

  11. Nixard Richson says:

    Well BP. It’s such a terrible thing that happened and I’m so sorry for you. Clearly it’s the government’s fault for not keeping a better eye on your oil well. Not that the government needs more regulation, though. In fact we shouldn’t ever have enacted any safety provisions or precautions into law. You see BP, how it’s the fault of big government keeping the little guy (I’m talking ’bout you, BP) down, oppressing your clearly advantageous methodology in favor of crooked fisherman and their army of lobbyists.

    I’m so sorry BP. Maybe one day we’ll be able to join hands again and skip over an oil-soaked beach to the tune of “Happy Together” by the Turtles.

  12. J4zonian says:

    BP,

    I’m sorry for all of what you’re about to go through–the inconvenience of lying and hiding, the shredder’s elbow, the back problems from crouching in the closet while underlings are scapegoated and prosecuted… I’m sorry I’ve paid attention to your noble experiments in seawater chemistry (avoiding acidification by preventing contact between ocean and atmosphere, and reducing drag on ships with natural lubrication); I know you’ve gone to a lot of trouble to protect me, specifically, from becoming aware of prematurely moribund animals and slimy beaches and the 5000 er, 10,000, I mean 25,000, er 100,000 um, 150,000, no, …2 1/2 million gallons per day you are releasing to those ends.

    I’m sorry I accidentally read all of each of those 150 articles on the internet about your creative marketing, financing and engineering techniques and public education. I’m sorry I couldn’t help but look as I bicycled past the wreck; I know it’s an invasion of your privacy and promise to cooperate in the future by wearing blinders everywhere I go.

    I’m also sorry I haven’t spent more on oil over the years–not driving, having a tiny house, saving water and electricity, using renewables…it’s inexcusable and I know that if we had only provided better for your poor executive’s families you wouldn’t have had to skimp on safety plans and equipment and we wouldn’t now be faced with the possible embarrassment of a 2000-mile long accident from the Gulf to New Jersey by next June or so, if the most optimistic (from the experimenters’ point of view) geological scenarios happen.

    I’m sorry you were so mistreated in your childhood that you feel no connection whatever to the Earth or its creatures. I’m sorry we didn’t notice when you were being abused and neglected into the psychosis that is now manifesting itself in our waters. I’m sorry we don’t have some form of remedial place for technically adult, emotional toddlers and infants (TAETI) to go to make up for what they missed. I’m sorry your mother and I weren’t around more to help you grow up to be people who would never do these sorts of things, this equivalent of an EXTREMELY soiled diaper. I’m sorry we didn’t change you sooner.