"Best BP jokes"
More BP jokes welcome!
“Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from the Gulf of Mexico.” — Jay Leno
“Bad news, it’s going to be a huge environmental disaster, the oil rig down there in the Gulf of Mexico. The good news is they think now that the oil spill will be diluted by the melting ice caps.” “”David Letterman
There’s certainly plenty of grim news from the Gulf. Here are some of the best jokes I’ve seen (culled from a longer list):
“We’re still dropping things on it. This is like if your toilet overflowed and you tried to fix it by smashing it with a brick. Their next idea is to get the old lady from Titanic and she’s going to throw her jewelry at it.” “”Bill Maher, on the oil spill in the Gulf
“Dick Cheney’s pals at Halliburton “¦ say they’re going to do the underwater cement job to plug the hole. I thought, wait a minute, this is a mistake. Underwater cement? You call the mafia. Am I right?” “”David Letterman
“Here’s a little bit of good news. The Coast Guard says that BP is now catching up to 630,000 gallons of oil a day. The bad news is that they’re capturing it with ducks.” “”Jimmy Fallon
“BP CEO Tony Hayward said he would just like to get his life back. He wants to get his life back. You know, I say give him life plus 20.” “”Jay Leno
“I love this. On the news today, the CEO of British Petroleum says he believes the overall environmental impact of this oil spill will be very, very modest. Yeah. If you live in England!” -Jay Leno
“This oil spill in the Gulf is affecting everybody. In fact, when I went to lunch this weekend and ordered the sea bass, they asked if I wanted it regular or unleaded.” “”David Letterman
“They say the oil spill has the potential to kill more wildlife than a Sarah Palin hunting trip.” “”David Letterman
More BP jokes welcome — but please, just the funny ones!