GOP-led House passes one hour continuing resolution

House Speaker Palin racks up historic first floor victory

Washington DC:   After 45 minutes of contentious debate and a 15-minute vote, the House of Representatives passed a budget that allows the government to continue operating for one hour.  In a straight party line vote, the House approved a $10 million cut in government spending and a variety of amendments.

At a hastily gathered press conference that took place even as the House was debating another one-hour CR, Speaker of the House Sarah Palin said, “You betcha this proves those naysayers wrong.  The Tea Party can govern effectively while staying true to our principles.  That’s why I’m going to be the next President of the United States.”

Earlier in the day, John Boehner resigned the Speakership in disgrace after it was revealed he had used taxpayer funds to pay for “tear duct enhancement” surgery.

In a surprise move, the entire Democratic caucus joined with the Tea Party members of the GOP caucus to vote in former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as Speaker, since the Constitution does not require the Speaker be a House member (see Office of the Clerk Member FAQ here).

A lachrymose Boehner congratulated Palin saying, “I’m impressed that Speaker Palin, who I’m sure will be the next president of the United States, was able to pass this one hour CR in 60 minutes.”

The CR had a number of unusual amendments:

  • The Environmental Protection Agency is banned from regulating any pollutant.
  • The House cafeteria can only serve polar bears and other endangered species.
  • All House members, when referring to Speaker Palin, must assert that she will be the next president of the United States.

NOTE:  I welcome reader suggestions for other April 1 amendments.

UPDATE:  In a breaking story, Palin has stunned the political world again by resigning from her Speakership.  In a speech from her home in Wasilla, Alaska — described by CBS News as “rambling and sometimes confusing”  and by Fox News as “cogent and always coherent” — she said:

Hi America, I appreciate speaking directly TO you, the people I serve, as your Speaker.  That’s what Speakers do.  They speak.  But I’ve been doing enough “Speaking” and now just want to “speak.”  To you.  America.

People who know me know that besides faith and family, nothing’s more important to me than speaking. Speaking for all Americans is the greatest honor I could imagine.  Other than another speaking at a political dinner for $100,000.

This decision comes after much consideration, and finally polling the most important people in my life – my Facebook friends.  I also polled my family, where the count was unanimous… well, in response to asking: “Want me to make a positive difference and fight for ALL our children’s future from OUTSIDE the Speakers’s office?” It was four “yes’s” and one “hell yeah!” The “hell yeah” sealed it – though I sent that one to bed without dinner for swearing.  Jeez.

Now, despite this, I don’t want any American dissuaded from entering politics after seeing this REAL “climate change” that began a few hours ago … no, we NEED hardworking, average Americans fighting for what’s right! And I will support you because we need YOU and YOU can effect change, as long as you quit your jobs now, like me.

In the words of General MacArthur said, “We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction.”

Also, in the words of Abraham Lincoln, “a rolling stone gathers no moss.”  And having lived in Alaska most of my life, I can’t tell you how much I hate gathering moss.  Thank you.

17 Responses to GOP-led House passes one hour continuing resolution

  1. caerbannog says:

    With the current crop of tea partiers in Congress, April 1 is no longer anything special. It’s been turned into sort of a Bill Murray groundhog-day.

    Thanks to the tea-partiers, *every* day is April fools day…

  2. John Hollenberg says:

    > After 45 minutes of contentious debate and a 15-minute vote, the House of Representatives passed a budget that allows the government to continue operating for one hour.

    It’s early, and you really had me going for a second with this first sentence. Strange that an April Fools joke and reality are so close together it is easy to confuse the two!

  3. Fran says:

    Me Thinks Happy April Fools Day!

  4. jroman says:

    “i eat organic, i just have to shoot it first.”

  5. Sue Jones says:

    Hey Joe

    -The Environmental Protection Agency is banned from regulating any pollutant-

    That is true, is it not? Not even funny….

    Foolishness apart, I have some interesting, good news for you from the newspaper `La Vanguardia´(Spain)today. Hope it is not a joke:

    Wind energy was the technology that generated more electricity in Spain in March 2011 and covered 21% of demand·

    It is the first time in history that wind is the first technology of the system for a full month.

    Wind power production reached 4,738 GWh, generation that could cover the monthly consumption of Portugal.

    Madrid, March 31st, 2011.- Wind Energy has set two new records in March: it was the month in which it produced more electricity in its history and, for the first time, it was the technology that generated more power in Spain with a total production of 4,738 GWh, according to data from Red Eléctrica de España (REE -Spanish TSO-). It was followed by nuclear energy, combined cycles and hydro. Wind power covered 21% of the electricity demand.

    March´s wind power generation could cover the whole monthly consumption of Portugal.

    “This historic milestone reached by wind energy shows that this technology is not only indigenous, clean and competitive, but also capable of supplying already 13 Million average Spanish households” said José Donoso, President of the Spanish Wind Energy Association(AEE).

    Wind energy slows down the need for more expensive technologies that use fossil fuels. This, added to the high water resource in 2010, motivated that electricity prices in the Spanish market were among the cheapest in Europe last year. This was the main reason why Spain exported electricity to France in 2010 for the first time in an annual period.

    The average annual cost of the Spanish electricity market in 2010 was 38 €/MWh, compared to the 47.5 €/MWh in France.

    In fact, a report from the International Energy Agency (IEA) shows that Spain is the fourth largest net exporter (it exported more than it imported) of the European Union, after France, Germany and Czech Republic. In total, Spain exported electricity worth of 8.3 TWh in 2010.

    Last year, there were only six European countries that exported electricity.

    Wind energy closed 2010 with an installed capacity of 20,676 MW, in line with the objectives of the Renewable Energies Plan 2005-10. For wind energy to continue its development and Spain to meet the 2020 European targets, the Government needs to establish as soon as possible the new regulatory framework which will replace the Royal Decree 661/2007 that expires at the end of 2012. The installation of wind farms requires long maturing periods (six to eight years), so companies need to know now the conditions under which the sector can be developed from 2013.

    More information: AEE Communications Department T. +34 91 745 12 76

    Taken from their website.

  6. Mark says:

    Additional amendments in the CR:

    Prior to sentencing, all federal criminal defendants will be subjected to an exorcism;

    The entire contents of the Library of Congress will be immediately incinerated in a controlled burn to maximize its conversion to greenhouse gases;

    All paper or textile artifacts of American History that may have been made from the marijuana plant shall also be subjected to, well, let’s just say a “controlled burn”.

    When the true cost of the Tea Party agenda becomes known anyone who does not blame the democrats for the natural consequences of the Tea Party’s actions shall be executed.

  7. paulm says:

    Breaking news …. the climate has stopped changing!

  8. Joan Savage says:

    I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but my comments disappear entirely, not even going into moderation. This is April 1 + Feb 2 + Kafka.

    In another April foolish announcement, the House committees on energy and science voted along party lines early this morning to restrict future witnesses to persons affiliated with major campaign donors, or with companies in litigation with federal agencies, or both.

  9. Sou says:

    From above, Palin says: “And I will support you because we need YOU and YOU can effect change, as long as you quit your jobs now, like me.” And that’s why the Republicans are going to stop funding ‘back to work’ programs – change is so much more radical and fun when you’re living on the edge:

    (Truth is stranger than fiction.)

  10. Sue Jones says:

    .. some more stats:

    Wind generation for March 2011 Spain: 4.738 GWh, 21% of total: 22.799 GWh

    Nuclear 19%

    Hydro 17,3%

    cogeneration 15%

    coal 12,9%

    solar 2,6%

    Renewable energy covered around 40% of the energy needs for March.

    It has gone midday so this is not an joke.

  11. Sue Jones says:

    Er… it´s almost 5.30 p.m. here. Europe is ahead of America.

  12. Sue Jones says:

    A poem for you by Roger McGough:


    I have a friend who is a back street
    meteorologist. Amongst other things,
    he told me that as hot high rises,
    so in summer, the days get lighter.

  13. Sue Jones says:

    My bad.. typo… need an editor..

    Summer days

    I have a friend who is a back street
    meteorologist. Amongst other things,
    he told me that as hot air rises,
    so in summer, the days get lighter.

    Roger McGough

  14. Steve Metzler says:

    Hey, since every day is April Fools’ Day at WUWT, maybe they’ll post some real science there today? But… nah. What was I thinking?

  15. talonpoint says:

    Mr. Romm… your humor in these posts is nicely attenuated. Nothing quite like satire to really get to the heart of the matter.

  16. Larry Beck says:

    In a turn around, Tea Party candidate concedes government regulations are good.

    Acknowledging that their thinking might have been skewered by a primitive perception on contemporary society, Tea Party darling Michele Bachman admitted that it’s good that government agencies are there to look after the health and safety of U.S. citizens. Bachman noted too that allowing industries to police themselves can often lead to cutting corners that may help a company’s bottom line but threatens to by-pass safeguards that can catch potentially hazards products and work safety issues.

    April Fools indeed

  17. Russell says:

    Today, Joe Romm and his commenters said not a single foolish thing.