Romney Goes Blue Collar, Says of Keystone ‘I Will Build That Pipeline If I Have To Do It Myself’

Mitt Romney has long been trying to Etch-A-Sketch away his rich guy persona.

He’s said that at times in his life he’s worried about getting a pink slip and, more recently, that “I’m also unemployed.”

On Friday, he personally guaranteed that the Keystone XL tar sands pipeline would be built if he’s elected president:

I will build that pipeline if I have to do it myself,” Romney said during a speech before state Republican Party leaders gathered at a retreat in Arizona.

I suppose now that he’s put the plans for his La Jolla car elevator on hold, he needs some project to keep him busy. But who knew he was a steel-drivin’ man?

Then I checked and sure enough, Bruce Springsteen had written a song about Romney. Here’s one of the verses:

Mitt Romney told his captain
“Lord a man ain’t nothin’ but a man
But before I let that steam drill beat me down
I’m gonna die with a hammer in my hand, Lord, Lord
I’ll die with a hammer in my hand.”

Still, if the pipeline to Canada’s climate-destroying tar sands must be built so we can export more refined product overseas, shouldn’t the few thousand jobs go to people without a quarter billion dollars?

17 Responses to Romney Goes Blue Collar, Says of Keystone ‘I Will Build That Pipeline If I Have To Do It Myself’

  1. Will Mitt and his children drink only from Ogallala Aquifer?

  2. Zooey says:

    I’d love to see the first time Mittens gets a smudge on his shirt or musses his hair.

  3. Tom L says:

    It’s his hair seeking the oil.

  4. Chad says:

    The funny thing about Keystone is Repubican’s really don’t want it (at least before the election). Rather, they want it as an election issue.

    If they really wanted it, all they would have to do is compromise on something. I am sure there any of a dozen things that we liberals would trade for Keystone. A carbon tax? Sure. Eliminating every last loophole for the oil industry? Close…you might need a little sweetener on that yet. Retroactively adjusting the gas tax to inflation and making such adjustments permanent? Deal.

    See, Republicans, this isn’t hard. Politics used to work this way, you know.

  5. Eduardo Vargas says:

    I also love Bruce Springsteen Joe!

  6. Joe Altschule says:

    Which suit do you think Mitt will be wearing when he swings that pick and wields that shovel?

  7. S. D. Jeffries says:

    Mitt Romney working on a pipeline? Sounds like a sure pay-per-view winner.

  8. cybersleauth says:

    Build a new refinery and they will come.

  9. Peter says:

    It may be the first bit of work he has done in his whole life.

  10. Zera Lee says:

    TransCanada has a terrible history of leaky pipelines.

    The spill of tar sands in Michigan demonstrates that we don’t even know how to clean up a tar sands spill.

    Nor do we know yet what pipeline standards are needed.

    Even Romney could not afford the liabilities that would come with Keystone XL. That’s why he would stick we, the little people, with the tab. You know us, the ones with little or “no skin in the game”…just our blood.

  11. Miles Tougeaux says:

    Good to see Romeny has a job prospect lined up after he loses the election in the fall.

  12. Matt says:

    Shorter Mittens: “Vote for me, people in the states Keystone will pass through – it’ll make it even funnier when I hand your land over to Big Oil via eminent domain!”

  13. toonces_2 says:

    Guess he won’t need a union if he is going to do it himself.

  14. Victoria Lamb says:

    When the pipeline springs a leak as one of its first stretches of pipe did, what’s he going to tell the farmers of Nebraska and the people whose water will be contaminated for decades. Still, I would pay money to see him sweatin’ in the hot sun.

  15. Kel says:

    “And of course, when I say ‘if I have to do it myself’, what I really mean is I’ll hire several workers – low pay, no benefits – to do it for me! And hey, I created jobs!”

    :| Mittens, Mittens, Mittens… where would political satire be without you?

  16. Marj Rust says:

    Maybe if he pays for it himself, he’ll go so broke he’ll finally find out what all of the 99ers have been talking about.

  17. Robert Marble says:

    Hi guys:

    Has anyone of you read “TAR SANDS: Dirty Oil and the Future of a Continent” by Andrew Nikiforuk?