Climate Progress’s Debate Drinking-Game Guide

Posted on

"Climate Progress’s Debate Drinking-Game Guide"

National Journal has helpfully published its “Debate Drinking-Game Guide: Colorado Edition” with the delightful image above. Their game has only two problems.

First, there’s a lot of that extraneous non-energy/climate stuff. I mean if you’re gonna have a drink every time “A candidate says the number 47″ or “Either candidate mentions his wife by first name” or “Ronald Reagan or Bill Clinton are invoked favorably by either candidate,” it’s gonna be a long night or, rather, a short night for you.

Still, the guide helpfully urges people to have one drink if:

  • Mitt Romney makes a joke about windmills.
  • Mitt Romney brings up Solyndra.
  • Either candidate mentions the Keystone XL Pipeline.

Of course there’s nothing about climate change but what do you expect from the lamestream media? Oh, wait, NJ wrote this 2 years ago:  “The GOP is stampeding toward an absolutist rejection of climate science that appears unmatched among major political parties around the globe, even conservative ones.”

The second problem is that NJ only proposes things that make you drunk. I like to also propose things that keep you sober.

Here goes:

  1. If moderator Jim Lehrer asks a question on “climate change” or “global warming,” down a shot (but if he has some wishy-washy formulation like “some scientists say” then immediately take some ipecac).
  2. If Lehrer doesn’t ask a question, but Obama brings up the subject himself to attack Romney, down two shots.
  3. If Romney unequivocally states he agrees with the scientific understanding of manmade global warming — or Obama unequivocally states he won’t approve Keystone if reelected — you get a weekend in Las Vegas with Charlie Sheen or Chelsea Handler.

On the other hand:

  1. Every time Obama talks up domestic oil production, drink one cup of coffee.
  2. Every time Obama talks up domestic natural gas production, drink one cup of non-herbal tea.
  3. If Obama says “all of the above” in regard to his energy policy, take two aspirin.
  4. If Obama says “clean coal,” take two Alleve.

Remember, don’t listen to debates on the radio and drive!

Tags:

« »

4 Responses to Climate Progress’s Debate Drinking-Game Guide

  1. — you get a weekend in Las Vegas with Charlie Sheen or Chelsea Handler.

    Wow, that would be hard to pass up, although I’m not sure my liver could handle it. (Or my stomach, in the case of Sheen.)

    However, the odds against the conditions —

    If Romney unequivocally states he agrees with the scientific understanding of manmade global warming — or Obama unequivocally states he won’t approve Keystone if reelected…

    are astronomical, so I’ll leave my chartreuse bell bottoms and gold paisley shirt in the trunk in the attic until I hear otherwise.

    In fact, the odds remind me of the odds of winning the lottery, and you know what the lottery is — a special tax on people who flunked math.

  2. The Oracle says:

    The War on Terra, in my view, is most pressing issue facing the United States and the World.

    Especially as the terra-forming of the earth continues, as if it were some alien world, far, far away, except this terra-forming is destroying our world.

    Does this mean those who are continuing to flood the earth’s atmosphere with CO2 and those who deny climate change is happening are a bunch of terra-ists?

    • Mulga Mumblebrain says:

      Perhaps it is being terra-formed for those who will prosper under a ten degree Celsius increase in temperatures.

  3. D. R. Tucker says:

    Reflecting on the 50th anniversary of Silent Spring. Interview with Nancy Unger. Plus discussing climate silence and the debates with Desi Doyen. Also Daniel Kessler and demands for Mitt Romney to discuss his views on climate change.

    Read more: http://prn.fm/2012/10/03/green-front-climate-silence-100312/#ixzz28Hb4Q5be
    Under Creative Commons License: Attribution