National Journal has helpfully published its “Debate Drinking-Game Guide: Colorado Edition” with the delightful image above. Their game has only two problems.
First, there’s a lot of that extraneous non-energy/climate stuff. I mean if you’re gonna have a drink every time “A candidate says the number 47” or “Either candidate mentions his wife by first name” or “Ronald Reagan or Bill Clinton are invoked favorably by either candidate,” it’s gonna be a long night or, rather, a short night for you.
Still, the guide helpfully urges people to have one drink if:
- Mitt Romney makes a joke about windmills.
- Mitt Romney brings up Solyndra.
- Either candidate mentions the Keystone XL Pipeline.
Of course there’s nothing about climate change but what do you expect from the lamestream media? Oh, wait, NJ wrote this 2 years ago: “The GOP is stampeding toward an absolutist rejection of climate science that appears unmatched among major political parties around the globe, even conservative ones.”
The second problem is that NJ only proposes things that make you drunk. I like to also propose things that keep you sober.
- If moderator Jim Lehrer asks a question on “climate change” or “global warming,” down a shot (but if he has some wishy-washy formulation like “some scientists say” then immediately take some ipecac).
- If Lehrer doesn’t ask a question, but Obama brings up the subject himself to attack Romney, down two shots.
- If Romney unequivocally states he agrees with the scientific understanding of manmade global warming — or Obama unequivocally states he won’t approve Keystone if reelected — you get a weekend in Las Vegas with Charlie Sheen or Chelsea Handler.
On the other hand:
- Every time Obama talks up domestic oil production, drink one cup of coffee.
- Every time Obama talks up domestic natural gas production, drink one cup of non-herbal tea.
- If Obama says “all of the above” in regard to his energy policy, take two aspirin.
- If Obama says “clean coal,” take two Alleve.
Remember, don’t listen to debates on the radio and drive!