What Will Be the Biggest Political Story of 2032?

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"What Will Be the Biggest Political Story of 2032?"

During my multi-week recovery, I have a dual mission: Digging out old, unfinished post material and searching for humor. Laughter is the best medicine, but for some reasons, my health insurer won’t cover DVDs of Seinfeld.

In this post, I kill two birds with one stone — assuming you’re one of those who favor efficient avicide.

In this case, it’s gallows humor, courtesy of the inimitable Tom the Dancing Bug (via BoingBoing):

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27 Responses to What Will Be the Biggest Political Story of 2032?

  1. Wes says:

    Gallows humor indeed! Then today there’s a paper out that claims there’s no such thing as a climate tipping point because effects are not uniform across all ecosystems. A new bonanza of carefully selected quotes for the deniers! Antarctican forests indeed.

  2. Paul says:

    I’m not in the right frame of mind to find this amusing. To me it’s just depressing to be reminded again what is being done to fight man made climate change… nothing :(

    • Superman1 says:

      Agree 100%. Even well-meaning proposals that don’t address the central issue are worse than nothing; they are a diversion that offers false hope and nothing more.

      • M Tucker says:

        Proposals are as common as assholes. We have proposals everywhere. From immediate WWII scale government funded action to end fossil fuel use and build massive wind and solar projects to weak multi-decadal transitions. But we ain’t gonna do any of it. We won’t even begin a weak effort. The general public does not see climate disruption as a threat to humanity. At best they see it as something we should do something about eventually but not necessarily now and the solution should not disrupt their lives. It has a minor influence on their voting choices and, as you have seen, very few are willing to gather together in mass demonstrations to express their concern. It has been 16 years since Kyoto and we are still basically doing nothing. We are using more coal and oil than ever before with very little prospect of ending that in the next 16 years.

  3. Bob Lang says:

    If I’m not mistaken, the title of this thread is “What Will Be the Biggest Political Story of 2032?”
    That story will be:
    In the biggest electoral landslide in US history, Bill McKibben is elected president. He ran on a platform of drafting every able-bodied American to be trained as solar-panel installer and have every roof in America covered with solar panels and every building weatherized within 4 years.
    His running mate, Joe Romm, who ran on a platform of “Deploy, deploy, deploy”. says he will personally see to it that the presidential limousine is replaced by a Chevy “Volt” ASAP.

  4. David Smith says:

    The Story, 1932 – The end of daily coverage of the end of the trials taking place in the Hague to prosecute for crimes against humanity the leadership and their lieutenants who created and administered the great denial of the reality of climate change, and the sophisticated obstructions to the implementation of corrective measures.

  5. Sasparilla says:

    I have to say that BusinessWeek article is a bit of a depressing pill, since these folks are now looking forward to climate change so they can make more money from its effects (totally predictable and rational based on what the world has done to this point, but the idea that this is gaining scale is rather repulsive).

    The cartoon is funny, except for that last cell, I keep getting the feeling we’ll actually be finiding ourselves in that position in 2032.

    • Mulga Mumblebrain says:

      Greed, apparently is ‘God’ after all. The problem is that the God is either Moloch, or that Aztec favourite, Tlaloc. Either way, our children will do the crying.

  6. Old Uncle Dave says:

    2032 – Jenna Bush elected President.

    • Sasparilla says:

      That’s a good one, I was actually gonna add:

      President Scooter Bush approves the Canadian Millstone Pipeline to route excess Methane from a small part of the rapidly thawing permafrost area so U.S. consumers can burn it in a green manner bringing natural gas prices back down.

      Former President Chelsea Clinton previously approved the Canadian Pandora Pipeline to route methane from the thawing Clathrates on the ocean floor but it destabilized the Clathrate base over a large area and is no longer effective leaving U.S. consumers in desperate need of another cheap methane supply.

  7. Daniel Coffey says:

    Joe: Get well.

    Kill two birds? I have no pets. I want all my pets to be wild and free. I find the best way to attract two birds is to provide feed and water. In this way I have the happy illusion of “pets” without the bother of tossing their feces, something plants love. As for killing them, I leave that to nature – even as I try to protect them from well-fed house cats, the vast and silent destroyer of hundreds of millions of birds.

    The cartoon is quite funny in a gallows humor sorta way, with my favorite the “natural” answer to high-fructose corn syrup. Now, how-about those midwestern farmer’s gals so prominent in Oklahoma, the musical? What will happen to them? How would the corn as high as an elephant’s eye have appeared?

    Gallows humor may be all we have left.

    • GreenHearted says:

      Yup, how about we match our language to our aspirations? So “feeding two birds from one hand” rather than “efficient avicide”? Choosing organic, peaceful, non-militaristic language and metaphors is one of the easiest things we can do to keep us heading in the right direction.

  8. Merrelyn Emery says:

    Oh for goodness sake all you depressed people. You are not helping yourselves or others. Just go out and do something, join something. Doing nothing but saying it’s all hopeless is a self fulfilling prophecy, ME

    • Mulga Mumblebrain says:

      I joined Greenpeace, and they promptly sold out. I joined the Wilderness Society, and they haven’t, so they are ignored and vilified. I joined the Green Party, whose local members spent all their time on in-fighting and pointless, but vicious, ideological battles between the Rightwing, pro-business faction, and the ‘watermelons’. In six months they decided NOTHING. So I’ll stick to planting trees, and sequestering carbon, in the form of dead cats bitten by brown-snakes. Don’t forget, ME, for certain types, misery and gloom is quite energising and invigourating, it being our habitual habit of mind. It is hard to comprehend, if you have not been so blessed.

      • Merrelyn Emery says:

        I hope never to be so blessed but you are still fighting in your way and have been known to crack a funny or two here, ME

    • Paul says:

      the issue is the scale of the problem is so vast the only way to correct it is planetary engineering. We would need to expend resources on a scale never before seen on a project that doesn’t have support from the wider populace.

      it’s just not achievable and anything less will make literally no difference at all.

      • Merrelyn Emery says:

        It’s not over yet Paul. If you are an American, I’m sure the general public response could be disappointing but the people have risen to the occasion before and surely can do it again, ME

    • Sasparilla says:

      Sorry ME, not trying to be depressed – just need to talk out what we’re feeling and thinking – I seem to rotate between feeling like we can whip this thing and then, well, not.

      So, lets not even get into what’s happened with the Ice Cap and permafrost over the last 5 years & what will happen there very soon. I’ll be there for the protests, voted for the Green party during the last election (they got like 2% or less of the vote here – absolutely no visibility of this issue as a critical issue in the general population although they want action) and whatever else I can do…

      But I’m looking for a realistic chance out there that we can save ourselves and its just getting more and more highly improbable we’ll be able to pull this thing out (or, more disturbingly that we’ll even try).

      • Merrelyn Emery says:

        I know the news is not good mate and I appreciate the power of this forum for people to explore their feelings and ideas, and crack a joke or two occasionally. I guess what worries me particularly is that people don’t understand how contagious our feeling are, how easy it is for a person who is feeling a bit down to think ‘well all these other people are depressed, so I’ll give in to it’. Or how one really energetic smilely person can walk in and light up a room. If we are going to beat this thing we are going to need everyone working together with every bit of human energy, motivation and good humour we can muster, ME

  9. My latest newspaper column, called “The Art of the Improbable,” is about fighting global warming by harnessing the power of exponents. It’s a realistic but positive call to action. It’s about 700 words long, so I don’t want to clog up the comment section with it, but if anybody wants to run it on his/her blog, or just read it, I’ll be glad to send it along gratis.

    Let me know, and stay strong.

    • Sasparilla says:

      Phillip put up a link to it if you can (put it in the daily news section too), I’d love to look at it (could use a good read like that).

  10. ToddInNorway says:

    “Bloomberg News, March 8, 2032.” The recently nationalized electric power industry, now known as Nationel, announced new pricing for net production from household rooftop solar. The Interior Dept. is now receiving proposals on how to exploit the vast overproduction of electricity due to 20 years of aggressive deployment of PV. The electricity glut occurs during the 5 most sunny months in the hours from 11 noon to 5 PM. Top contenders are regional water desalinization and purification plants in Texas, Oklahoma, Kansas, Colorado….”

  11. Joan Savage says:

    I’m incorrigibly quantitative, so here’s a list of [humorless?] facts and factoids to go with frames of the cartoon.

    As of 1965, the base of US Capitol was about 60 feet above mean sea level, The top of the building is officially 289′ (88 m) above sea level, at present.

    The Daily Beast has an interactive map about how far women commonly travel to get an abortion today. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/01/22/interactive-map-america-s-abortion-clinics.html

    Populations of Oklahoma and Oregon in 2012: Oklahoma 3,814,820; Oregon 3,899,353.

    About 80 million acres are currently planted in corn in the US. http://www.ers.usda.gov/topics/crops/corn/background.aspx

    Forest establishment at the edge of retreating glacier begins with moss and other soil formers that can exist on rock, followed by small trees like aspen and birch, and only after adequate soil formation do evergreens grow on the site.

    Honolulu Airport elevation above present day mean sea level: 13′ 1″ (4.00 m)

    The US Census currently projects the 2032 resident US population to be 379,912,000.
    http://www.census.gov/compendia/statab/2012/tables/12s0003.pdf

  12. ToddInNorway says:

    “The Farmers Almanac March 8, 2032. The Dept. of Agriculture announced today an approved production process for protein to replace the cattle and pork industry, which became unviable as water scarcity, high summer temperatures, catastrophic flooding events and crop failures continue to plague large regions of rural North America. The synthetic proteins will be based on raw ingredients from algael pools in stagnant fresh water bodies previously known as the Great Lakes and energy inputs from solar thermal and PV.”