Welcome to a new segment we like to call Pop Culture Scoreboard! This is a 100% scientific ranking of best and worst pop culture had to offer this week, as determined by an English major who hasn’t taken science since freshman year of college.
1. LeVar Burton
The beloved host of Reading Rainbow fought back against the Kickstarter criticism with a single word: “Bullshit.” (Actually, he used a lot of words, they are all here if you want the full story.)
2. Lupita Nyong’o
After obtaining the rights to Americanah, the novel by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie so excellent I can’t even talk about how excellent it is, Nyong’o announced that she’ll be producing and starring in the film adaptation as well. The real winner in this story is us.
3. Game of Thrones
This low-stakes, quiet coming-of-age tale just became the most popular show in HBO history. Episodes have an average gross audience of 18.4 million viewers, breaking the record previously held by The Sopranos (18.2 million). HBO did not reveal the number of people who only watch half of every episode because they fast-forward through all the rape and/or the boring characters and/or the torture of Theon.
CREDIT: Macall B. Polay/HBO
4. Intergalactic possibilities
According to Lana Del Rey, they’re way more interesting than feminism, which “is just not an interesting concept.”
5. Iggy Azalea
“Fancy” is still number one. “Problem” is still number two. It’s the summer of Iggy; we’re all just sweating in it. But first things first: is she the realest?
6. Soccer players who like acrobatic sex
Ah, it’s the age-old question: does sex negatively affect athletic performance? How cruel is our world, that the very people who are probably most likely to get laid and be awesome at it — these strong, flexible, stamina-having gents — be forbidden from engaging in hook-uppery the eve before an important match. Though there’s no real science to defend the claim that sex is the enemy of sport, plenty of teams participating in the upcoming World Cup have to take a 40-day vow of chastity. Tough break, Mexico and Bosnia-Herzogovina! Meanwhile, Brazil manager Luiz Felipe Scolari has the following rule that I’m not totally sure how he plans on enforcing: “The players can have normal sex during the World Cup. Usually normal sex is done in balanced way, but there are certain forms, certain ways and others who do acrobatics. We will put limits and survey the players.”
7. Maleficent Something not-so-wicked this way comes. If you’re going to make a movie about one of the most legitimately terrifying Disney villains of all time, you’ve got to keep the “terrifying” and “villain” in there somewhere, instead of just the “Disney.”
CREDIT: James Bridges/20th Century Fox/AP
8. People who hate crying at the movies
The Fault In Our Stars. Don’t even try to fight it.
Once more, with feeling, all together now: Native American headdresses are not costumes. SMH.