Anti-DADT Group Mocks Pentagon’s Survey

Servicemembers United is celebrating the conclusion of the first portion of the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell survey with a questionnaire of its own. The mock survey, designed to promote the organization’s petition to refund the costs of the project, asks a series of ridiculous questions, including:

4. How would you react if one of your comrades saved your life in combat, and then later revealed that he is one of those homo-sexuals?

Pshaw! That is impossible, because everybody knows that at no time in the history of human conflict have homo-sexuals ever managed to overcome their natural cowardice and successfully engage the enemy.

– I would immediately report him to my chain of command, as is my duty as a member of the United States Military, and also because I am a soulless robot.

– My sincere and whole-hearted faith in the unchanging, all-knowing laws of this great country would enable me to turn in the deviant homo-sexual to my chain of command, and I would suffer no trauma or second-thoughts, because I am actually a brainwashed North Korean storm-trooper.

– I would be conflicted, but would still turn my comrade in, because I am a spineless, sniveling wimp.

– I would ignore it to preserve morale and unit cohesion (< -- This choice included as part of DoD "Insta-Court Martial" labor-saving initiative)

The survey officially ended on Sunday “and officials at the Pentagon said the final tally on completed responses was 109,883 — a response rate of only about 27.5 percent,” suggesting that the majority of servicemembers simply don’t care about the DADT policy. Responses did pick up in August, however, after the Pentagon received a ‘certificate of confidentiality’ to ensure servicemembers’ anonymity. As of last month, just 10% of those who received the questionnaire filed it out. Still, the final return rate is “below the 30 to 40 percent response rate researchers from the University of Texas at Austin say an average email or online surveys should pull in, and well below the 52 percent participation rate officials at the Office of Personnel Management got in their similarly-structured 2010 Federal Employee Viewpoint Survey.”

Servicemembers United has criticized both the tone and the content of the Pentagon’s DADT survey, arguing that some of questions were laced with “bias, inaccuracies, and derogatory assumptions and insinuations about gay and lesbian Americans.” The Pentagon admits that the criticism may have dampened response rates but continues to insist that the answers will help ensure a smooth repeal process. It will distribute a different questionnaire to 150,000 military spouses later this month.