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The Guy’s Guide To Being A Feminist Ally In Video Gaming

One of the things I hear whenever I write about misogyny in video games is that there’s a silent majority of male gamers who are uncomfortable with the vicious sexism some of their counterparts deploy against women (and frankly, against men, too). Women aren’t alone in feeling hopeless, or like there’s no effective way to change either the behavior of individuals or the culture that leaves space for the harassment of women. So I hopped on Twitter yesterday and asked men who play video games, and who push back against sexist behavior when they see it, what kinds of arguments they’ve found to be effective. Dozens of you responded, with a lot of terrific advice. So if you’ve ever wanted to call out sexism in video games but weren’t sure how to start the conversation or how to make sure it would be productive, here’s the collective wisdom of the internet.

-Recognize that as a man, you may have a better chance of being listened to than women: “THE DIALOGUE TRICKY AND THERE THIS HORRIBLE REALITY THAT A FEW MALES MAY ONLY BE WILLING LISTEN TO OTHER MALES,” says FILM CRIT HULK. Women who write about sexism in gaming—and sexism in entertainment in general—often find themselves discredited on the grounds that they’re acting in their own self-interest (which is strange, when you think about it). When men speak up against sexism, it gives validity to the idea that sexism is a problem that affects everyone, not just something that only women see or experience.

-Have the conversation one-on-one, if possible: “As a rule I think direct 1 on 1 conversation is more valuable than a public setting (Internet included) w/ groupthink,” writes Reuben Poling. If you think someone is reachable in private, but likely to get their hackles up in public, start the conversation there before shaming or banning them more aggressively.

-Take the high ground—but don’t sound superior: “SOMETIMES IT ABOUT STARTING FROM PLACE GIVING RESPECT EVEN IF RESPECT UNDESERVED?” asks FILM CRIT HULK. And Byron Hauck suggests avoiding prissiness: “‘Don’t talk like that with me.’ Pepper in swearing or ‘bro’ as you feel appropriate. Works on homophobia & antisemitism too.”

-Stay as calm as possible. If you need to blow off steam, don’t do it in conversation with the person your’e trying to change: “Speak calmly and then back off,” says Ian Dickerson. “Avoid messy argument. Hope silent majority feel more able next time as a result.”

-Use humor: Lots of recommendations for this. Humor and sarcasm change the perception of who’s in violation of norms, and shows that feminism is cleverer than sexism.

-Be clear, from the beginning, the conditions under which you’re willing to play with someone, and stick to them: “We simply did not tolerate any sort of sexism, racism, ableism, homophobia, or other bigotry, even jokingly,” Grayson Davis of Beeps & Boops wrote in an email. “We had a zero-tolerance approach, with exceptions only made for long-standing players who seemed genuinely sorry, and even then we handed out long bans—several weeks or months, which is a very long time in multiplayer gaming.”
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NEWS FLASH

Nashville Man Relates Lessons After A Year Pretending To Be Gay | Nashville resident Timothy Kurek had long understood homosexuality to be sinful, but when a friend was rejected by her family for coming out, he sought to understand how gay people are treated in society through an unusual experiment. After a full year in which he posed as gay to everyone in his life, he is now writing a book about how much he learned about anti-gay discrimination and stigma. Today, Kurek explained to MSNBC’s Thomas Roberts that the book is not about what it’s like to be gay, but about how gay people are treated. He said the experience “altered my faith and challenged my beliefs,” apologizing for his past disapproval of homosexuality. Watch it:

(HT: Towleroad.)

Republican Vice Presidential Frontrunner Thinks Businesses Should Be Able To Fire Someone For Being Gay

Sen. Rob Portman (R-OH)

WASHINGTON, DC — Sen. Rob Portman (R-OH), best known as the “boring” choice atop Mitt Romney’s vice presidential list, told ThinkProgress today that he doesn’t believe it should be illegal to fire someone for being gay because doing so would make businesses less “comfortable.”

In an interview at the Faith & Freedom Conference, Portman explained why he opposes the Employee Non-Discrimination Act, which would ban firing someone because of his or her sexual orientation or gender identity. “What I’m concerned about in Paycheck Fairness and other legislation like that is the fact that it will spawn a lot of litigation the way the legislation is written,” the Ohio Senator said. He worried that the legislation “would make it more difficult for employers to feel comfortable.”

KEYES: The Senate’s going to be taking up the Employee Non-Discrimination Act. Do you think that it ought to be illegal to fire someone for being gay in the United States?

PORTMAN: I don’t believe in discrimination…

KEYES: But whether or not it should be legal.

PORTMAN: What I’m concerned about in Paycheck Fairness and other legislation like that is the fact that it will spawn a lot of litigation the way the legislation is written. So you don’t want it to be a boon to lawyers, you want it to actually help people. But no one should discriminate.

KEYES: So you’re worried that people might actually take up claims that they were discriminated against?

PORTMAN: [...] A lot of them would create a lot of legal rights of action that would make it more difficult for employers to feel comfortable, to be able to hire, and to keep this economy moving. So you have to be careful how you do it.

Watch it:

Portman’s principal objection to making it illegal to fire someone for being gay, in other words, is that people who are discriminated against might have the gall to take legal action.

Portman was correct about one thing: if Congress were to finally make it illegal to fire someone because of his or her sexual orientation or gender identity, a lot of lawsuits could ensue. That’s only a bad thing if one wants to preserve businesses’ ability to discriminate. Lawsuits are the sole mechanism by which most laws are enforced in this country. Without lawsuits, the South would still be segregated, ten year-olds would still work in mines, and there would be no minimum wage. Research shows that 42 percent of LGB workers and 90 percent of transgender workers have experienced workplace discrimination. Unless people can take action in court, Portman’s feel-good belief that “no one should discriminate” is meaningless.

Over 70 percent of Americans support legislation protecting LGBT people from workplace discrimination, and 9 in 10 mistakenly believe that a federal law doing so already exists. Unfortunately, the frontrunner to be the Republican vice presidential nominee is not among them.

NEWS FLASH

Pentagon To Recognize Gay Troops For Gay Pride Month | For the first time in U.S. history, the Pentagon will honor its gay, lesbian, and bisexual troops by participating in Gay Pride month. Officials have not released any further details regarding the event, but Defense Secretary Leon Panetta has indicated that he recognizes the importance of saluting the service of gay troops in the armed forces. The news marks a huge step forward from last summer, when troops were still forbidden from expressing their sexual orientation under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Repeal did not take effect until last September.

Angela Guo

NEWS FLASH

Virginia Judges Temporarily Appoint Gay Judge Blocked By Anti-Gay Lawmakers | Last month, the Virginia House of Delegates blocked Navy veteran and top Richmond prosecutor Tracy Thorne-Begland’s candidacy for a low-level state judgeship because he is gay. Earlier today, a Virginia circuit court nonetheless appointed him to the same seat, although only temporarily. While it is welcome news to learn that these circuit judges do not bear the same anti-gay animus as the state’s legislators, Judge Thorne-Begland will serve only a brief time on the state bench unless the legislature agrees to correct its prior error.

Slate’s Will Saletan Defends Flawed Parenting Study By Proving Its Irrelevance

Slate's Will Saletan

Slate magazine invited Mark Regnerus to write a guest column about his biased, flawed paper about gay parenting, and Slate contributor Will Saletan humored the study without doing much to critique its obviously fraudulent methodology. Today, Saletan continued to defend the study, suggesting that there is a “liberal war on science” and that individuals should “trust science” and “embrace” this paper for what insights it supposedly offers about family stability. By completely disregarding concerns that LGBT groups expressed, Saletan duplicitiously demonstrated that he cares more about the political implications of the faulty paper than any high-minded regard for science that he might claim. And though he managed to finally point out some mistakes that Regnerus made, he still argued that the study had substance worth considering:

Shifting the conversation from orientation to stability doesn’t end the debate. But it does break the logjam. It frees us from dissent-silencing appeals to authority, such as the Bible or policy statements from the American Psychological Association. It opens social conservatives to the possibility of accepting gay marriage, since, as Regnerus points out, “whether some relationship arrangements are more systematically prone to disorganization than others” is an “empirically testable question.” By the same token, it challenges homosexuals to deliver. The Regnerus study shows how wretchedly unstable the households of most gay parents were in the years when gay sex and gay marriage were illegal. We have a chance now to do better. Don’t let the experiment fail.

That’s why we should take this study seriously. It tells both sides, including its author and its funders, difficult truths they need to hear. Family stability matters. And when same-sex couples are permitted, encouraged, and determined to provide that stability, kids do better. The left’s enlightenment about sexual orientation can be married to the right’s wisdom about family values. It won’t be easy. But it’s worth the effort.

Saletan comes off as overly eager to admit he’s wrong without admitting he’s wrong, and in the process he managed to prove just how irrelevant the study is. As he even admitted, only ten respondents indicated that they had lived consistently with same-sex parents for 13 or more of their first 18 years, so to suggest that this paper has anything legitimate to say about same-sex parenting is still a gross misreading. It absolutely requires buying into Regnerus’ conflation of “gay or lesbian parent” with “committed same-sex parents.” If Saletan really cares about “trusting science,” he can’t then frame his analysis around implications for gay parents when the study has none to offer.

Now, the observation that stability is good and instability is bad is fine, but to credit Regnerus’ paper with this conclusion is an overreach. If the purpose of this study was to identify the impact of broken families on youth, then why did Regnerus make it about gay and lesbian parents? In fact, he made the broadest generalization of the data possible in a specific attempt to draw conclusions about gay and lesbian parents, and it is those conclusions he has been discussing in every media appearance. Stability may be an “empirically testable question,” but it’s not the one Regnerus asked. Just because Saletan can contort the data to draw his own conclusions doesn’t make the study good science — it merely demonstrates his ability to spin.

Truth Wins Out’s Wayne Besen slammed Saletan today as a “conservative apologist posing as a liberal” with a “self-serving and dishonest writing style.” Saletan seems to believe he’s carved out some happy middle position that can appease both sides of the debate, but in doing so he’s managed to say nothing substantive at all.

NEWS FLASH

Female Fox Anchor Walks Off Set After Co-Host’s Sexist Joke | On Fox & Friends Thursday morning, Steve Doocy interviewed members of the U.S. Navy Band about the band’s recent inclusion of women. Reacting to the segment, Brian Kilmeade remarked, “Women are everywhere. We’re letting them play golf and tennis now. It’s out of control.” Visibly upset, Gretchen Carlson, the only female host, walked off of the set. “You read the headlines. Since men are so great. Take them [women] away,” she said. Kilmeade responded, “All right. Finally.” Then, as she walked further off of the set, Kilmeade jeered, “Leaving an all male crew” and added “she needed a shower.” Watch it:

Ben Sherman

Michigan Mayor Facing Recall Doubles Down On Anti-Gay Rhetoric With ‘Smoking Lifestyle’ Comparison

Janice Daniels, mayor of Troy, Michigan, has made a national name for herself thanks to her anti-gay rhetoric — so much so that voters are threatening to recall her. A month after her election last fall, it was discovered she had made comments on Facebook expressing her disdain for New York “now that queers can get married there.” Then, in January, a group of high school students accused her of calling homosexuality a “mental disease” at an open forum. Though she denied it, the recording confirmed that she wanted to bring in psychiatrists who would say “the homosexual lifestyle is dangerous.” Yesterday morning, she doubled down on this rhetoric in a conversation with morning radio host Charlie Langton, comparing the dangers of “the homosexual lifestyle” to the dangers of “the smoking lifestyle”:

DANIELS: I said one thing in a business meeting. I said that I would bring a doctor in to tell our high school students that the gay lifestyle is dangerous…. just the same as I could  find a doctor that would come in and talk about the dangers of the smoking lifestyle. I could find someone who talks about the dangers of running down Big Beaver Road — it’s a wonderful form of exercise but you could get hit by a car.

Listen to the full interview:

Last year, Iowa’s The FAMiLY LEADER infamously linked to a now-defunct site called “Second Hand Effects” that described homosexuality as a public health crisis akin to smoking.

Organizers of Daniels’ recall submitted 9,300 signatures, well over the 7,985 that were necessary to force the vote. Though her’ anti-gay comments are not the only motivation for the recall effort, they have certainly received the most public attention and outcry.

Religious Coalition Endorses ENDA ‘As A Matter Of Justice’

A coalition of diverse religious groups has come together to support the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, including African American Ministers in Action, the Anti-Defamation League, The Episcopal Church, Hindu American Foundation, and Muslims for Progressive Values. In their letter to senators, they describe how protecting LGBT people from discrimination is crucial to their faith:

Many of our sacred texts speak to the importance and sacred nature of work – an opportunity to be co-creators with God – and demand in the strongest possible terms the protection of all workers as a matter of justice. Our faith leaders and congregations grapple with the difficulties of lost jobs every day, particularly in these difficult economic times. It is indefensible that, while sharing every American’s concerns about the health of our economy, LGBT workers must also fear job security because of prejudice.

At the same time, as religious denominations and faith groups, we deeply value our guarantee to the freedoms of faith and conscience under the First Amendment. ENDA broadly exempts from its scope any religious organization, thereby ensuring that religious institutions will not be compelled to violate the religious precepts on which they are founded, whether or not we may agree with those precepts. In so doing, ENDA respects the protections for religious institutions afforded by the First Amendment and Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 while ensuring that lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people are protected from baseless discrimination in the workplace.

At Tuesday’s Senate hearing, Craig Parshall of the National Religious Broadcasters Association testified that ENDA’s religious exemptions do not go far enough, though they already protect religious organizations and religious-run schools. He argued that any business owner should be free to discriminate based on their religious beliefs, an exemption so broad that ENDA would be practically unenforceable. These groups demonstrate that there are significant religious arguments to be made in favor of LGBT equality and protection from discrimination.

NEWS FLASH

LGBT Leaders Join Coalition Against ‘Stop And Frisk’ Racial Profiling | LGBT activists are joining with civil rights leaders and the labor movement to oppose New York City’s “Stop and Frisk” law, which enables racial profiling and harassment at obscene rates. This Sunday, LGBT groups will join the End Stop and Frisk silent march to stand in solidarity with civil rights allies and in recognition of the those with intersecting identities of race, sexuality, and gender, who are particularly susceptible to mistreatment. GLAAD has compiled videos of many leaders speaking together against the problematic law in front of the historic Stonewall Inn, where LGBT activists once rioted against police harassment. Watch them:

STUDY: Male Homosexuality Has Strong Genetic Basis Offset By Increased Female Fertility

Italian researchers have made a new discovery that solidifies the understand that homosexuality — at least in men — has a strong genetic component. Though this study does not identify a specific gay gene, which probably does not exist, it does demonstrate what role genetics play.

Andrea Camperio Ciani at the University of Padova discovered that the mothers and maternal aunts of gay men tend to have significantly more offspring than those of straight men. Tthere seems to be at least one gene on the X chromosome that creates a trade-off in men and women. The men turn out gay (and hypothetically less likely to reproduce), but the women’s fecundity increases, making them more likely to have more offspring. In a sense, the gene makes men more attracted to men, but the women more attractive to men. Not only are they more fertile and have less complications during pregnancy, but these women are also more extroverted and have few family problems and social anxieties.

This is called the “balancing selection hypothesis,” and it effectively demonstrates how male homosexuality —as documented not only in humans but hundreds of species — does not actually contradict expectations that evolution favors reproduction. Still, homosexuality is clearly not determined by a single factor. Studies have shown, for example, that exposure to certain levels of hormones in the womb can play a role in sexuality. Twin studies also suggest other genetic components, even in women. But this research may help explain why female sexuality tends to be more fluid while men’s tends to be more fixed; this “trade-off” gene may just not be playing the same role.

Scientists may never fully identity what complex combination of factors determines sexuality, but there is still plenty of evidence to conclude that it is natural and healthy part of human diversity. With each new discovery about the nature of homosexuality, discrimination against people for being gay becomes more repugnantly indefensible.

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NEWS FLASH

General Mills Comes Out Against Minnesota Marriage Inequality Amendment | Bucking the National Organization for Marriage’s request to maintain “neutrality,” General Mills has come out against Minnesota’s marriage inequality amendment. Minnesotans United for All Families has set up a thank-you petition for the Fortune 500 company. On Tuesday, Ken Charles, General Mills’ Vice President of Diversity and Inclusion, testified before the U.S. Senate in support of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act.

Update

Charles took to General Mills’ blog to boast both his testimony on ENDA and the company’s opposition to the amendment:

I am proud to see our company join the ranks of local and national employers speaking out for inclusion. We do not believe the proposed constitutional amendment is in the best interests of our employees or our state economy – and as a Minnesota-based company we oppose it.[...]

We believe a diverse, inclusive culture produces a stronger, more engaged workforce – and strengthens innovation. Inclusive communities are more successful economically as well. We believe it is important for Minnesota to be viewed as inclusive and welcoming as well.

Obviously, there are strongly held views on both sides. We acknowledge those views, including those on religious grounds. We respect and defend the right of others to disagree. But we truly value diversity and inclusion – and that makes our choice clear.

General Mills’ mission is Nourishing Lives. Not just some. But all.

Living that mission is part of who we are.

The Morning Pride: June 14, 2012

Welcome to The Morning Pride, ThinkProgress LGBT’s daily round-up of the latest in LGBT policy, politics, and some culture too! Here’s what we’re reading this morning, but please let us know what stories you’re following as well. Follow us all day on Twitter at @TPEquality.

- The first-ever openly gay Republican presidential candidate, Fred Karger, has ended his campaign.

- Rhode Island lawmakers managed to avoid all controversial legislation this term, including same-sex marriage.

- Vestal High School in New York may remove alumnus and Tennessee Rep. Stacey Campfield (R) from its Hall of Fame for his homophobic comments about HIV and sponsorship of the “Don’t Say Gay” bill.

- The Family Equality Council has released a new guide for allies when talking about adoption by LGBT parents.

- The Family Research Council is praying against LGBT people again, including for the Boy Scouts to keep discriminating, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act to fail, and the Defense of Marriage Act to be upheld.

- The ex-gay therapy umbrella group Exodus International has lost 20 ministries in the past year.

- Learn the backstory of how Bryan Fischer came to be the notable bigot that he is today.

- One evangelical mom is apologizing for the harm she’s done and sharing her story of accepting her lesbian daughter.

- Another conservative mom is buy her son a new Macbook to keep him straight.

- A member of Israel’s Knesset, Anastassia Michaeli, says that “most homosexuals are people who experienced sexual abuse at a very young age.”

- TLC has agreed to pull an episode of Cake Boss in which transgender woman Carmen Carrera was made the punchline of a prank.

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