Last week, the Family Acceptance Project released new literature encouraging Mormons to be more accepting of LGBT youth. The 25-page booklet, part of the “Supportive Families, Healthy Children” series, blends aspects of the Mormon faith with research about how best to support the mental and physical health of young people questioning their sexuality or gender identity. Unfortunately, the LDS-run Deseret News couldn’t resist inviting ex-gay therapists Ty Mansfield and Laurie Campbell to critique the guide:

MANSFIELD: The pamphlet’s assumption of a predetermined and rubber-stamped ‘LGBT’ identity is problematic… Those who take their religion seriously also understand the sacred responsibility of nurturing values and identities that are more in harmony with the deeply held spiritual beliefs from which they arise – and they’ll continue to look for guidance primarily from church leaders as opposed to ‘LGBT’ research institutes to help them in that regard.

CAMPBELL: What about those LDS youth who are attracted to the same gender yet do not want to identify as gay and hope there might be an opposite-sex relationship for them later in life? To label them as ‘gay’ or ‘lesbian’ can be harmful… They may have a deep, spiritual sense that their attractions do not define them, but are confused by what the world has to say. If LDS parents depart from gospel truths and rush to define attractions as being a permanent ‘orientation’ when that is not necessarily the case, it can worsen the child’s distress and confusion.

These comments reflect a growing new approach to opposing LGBT identities that tries to distinguish itself from ex-gay therapy. Rather than telling young gay people to not be gay, these anti-gay therapists are simply telling them not to act on their gay identity. The distinction between self-identification and whether a person allows that identity to be an authentic part of their lives is negligible.

Campbell’s comments are the most telling — and flagrantly wrong. The obvious implication of promoting an opposite-sex relationship “later in life” is to convey that a same-sex relationship is inferior or wrong. What’s harmful to young people is discouraging them from identifying with their actual sexual orientation or communicating in any way that their family would be less accepting if they did. That’s the overarching point of the new guide.

The misguided way these therapists responded echoes the controversy over the unique case of Josh Weed, the “happily married” gay Mormon who may be advocating similar approaches in his own work as a therapist. If anti-gay activists continue to embrace this artificial distinction between orientation and identity, it must be called out as the harmful ex-gay repression that it is.

Dr. Scout — yes, that’s his full name — was last invited to the White House by the Obamas in 1993 as a queer/trans-identified honoree of the group Public Allies, on which both Barack and Michelle served in leadership capacities. Now the leader of the Network for LGBT Health Equity at The Fenway Institute, Scout accepted the President’s invitation to the White House Pride reception in a very different capacity, but did not squander the opportunity. Shortly after the President’s remarks, Scout took to one knee to propose to his partner Liz Margolies.

Margolies was hesitant at first because of her distrust for the institution of marriage, but soon relented and accepted, boasting a bit later, “I’m engaged!” Scout shared some of his thoughts about why he thought Margolies should marry him:

SCOUT: Because the last three and a half years, you have been an amazing adventure. Because you try harder than anyone in the world. Because while I’m a little scared to spend the rest of my life with you, because you’re so damn fierce, I’m also amazingly excited about the possibility.

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Because Scout is legally male, their marriage will be treated legally as any typical heterosexual marriage. With a momentous proposal like this, however, their marriage is guaranteed to be anything but typical.

On Friday afternoon, President Obama spoke at the White House Pride Month reception, highlighting LGBT victories from his term so far and the work still ahead. He noted the ongoing challenge of HIV prevention, the need to pass the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, and the systemic bullying taking place in schools. Obama also committed to being a “fellow advocate” for the LGBT community moving forward:

OBAMA: So we still have a long way to go, but we will get there.  We’ll get there because of all of you.  We’ll get there because of all of the ordinary Americans who every day show extraordinary courage.  We’ll get there because of every man and woman and activist and ally who is moving us forward by the force of their moral arguments, but more importantly, by the force of their example.

And as long as I have the privilege of being your President, I promise you, you won’t just have a friend in the White House, you will have a fellow advocate for an America where no matter what you look like or where you come from or who you love, you can dream big dreams and dream as openly as you want.

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