[Ed. Note: To clear up any confusion, this is not a parody. These are actual profiles clipped from Hannity’s website.]
Sean Hannity: Author. Television Talking Head. Radio Host. Pimp Daddy?
It’s true. Sean Hannity is trying his hand as matchmaker with Hannidate 2005, a dating service hosted on his Web site. If you’ve always been curious about romance, right-wing style, here’s what you’ve been missing:
NO CAVITY CREEPS!
I live close to Dayton, Ohio. I am a 32 single white male. I am a smoker. I weigh in at 170 and stand at 5′-11″ Dayton has a lot of liberal women which I am tired of dating. Help me find a republican woman. Below is what kind of describes myself in a nutshell …. Some find me hot, some not. You decide. I have good morals and values and I am of a conservative nature. …I have all my teeth and brush them… Someone who isn’t a control freak. Good personal hygiene and has all their teeth and no rotten black teeth. I see this way too much and I find it a turn off…
WHOO HOO! WHERE ARE ALL THE WILD RIGHT-WING BOOOOOOYS?!
About who I’m looking for–Fun, outdoorsy, moral, early riser, clean. Boy scout with a wild side. (*_~) Please don’t over-analyze me–half the time ‘I’ don’t know what I’m thinking. Or WHY. Great kisser–yes, you must be that. Christian, obviously. Brilliant, witty, patience of a saint, and so on and so forth. If this is multiple choice, I’m choosing ALL OF THE ABOVE this time.
STAY AWAY YOU LIBERAL HUSSIES
I am a 49 year old truck driver. Divorced, one daughter, 18, looking for a LADY, 45 to 55 years old, no tatoos, no body piercings except ears, but most importantly NOT LIBERAL (lady and not liberal kind of go hand in hand, don’t they?).
ALL I WANT IS MY VERY OWN GIPPER. IS THAT SO WRONG?
I love this country and I support our President. I saw him three times this past year, twice on the campaign trail and once at the inauguration. I cried when Reagan died…one of my favorite books is “I love you, Ronnie” – Ronald Reagan’s love letters to Nancy Reagan. I want the kind of love that Nancy and Ronald Reagan had…
ISO: NONWHITE, RIGHT-WING, EVIL CONSERVATIVE MRS. CLAUS
My friends would describe me as funny, charismatic, cute, intelligent, strong, caring, gentile, romantic, honourable, and an all around great guy. A phrase that would best describe me is that I have a wine taste, but live on a beer budget…I’m a news and politics Junky. Conservative Fo Life! I m a part of the vast Right Wing Evil Conservative Conspiracy (i.e. a Conservative College Republican and Patriot). And, my favorite politician is the Colossus of Independency, John Adams! I m looking for a woman that is a Conservative that doesn t smoke and who is not White. If you made it past that sentence and you think that I m somebody that you would like to get to know, then let’s talk.
HOBBIES: SHOOTING BAMBI WITH BLONDES
My name is Dave, 40 years old, 6-1, 200 lbs, single, I live and work in Junction City, Oregon… yes there are nice, smart… red people that live around Eugene Oregon! All I want from this is to kill deer with Ann Coulter someday…