Jaws: A movie review by DenialDepot

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"Jaws: A movie review by DenialDepot"

http://rubatomusic.nl/Pictures/jaws.jpgSynopsis:  A group of so-called government funded “experts” whip up alarmist fears of a killer shark off the coast of Amity, a sea side town. Their goal is to destroy the local tourist industry, send Amity back to the dark ages and thus achieve their underlying socialist agenda of wealth redistribution. The heroes of this tale are the local major and business leaders who lead a successful audit of the alarmist claims and by doing so manage to delay action long enough that the beach remains open. In the end it turns out a shark has been eating people.

While on ‘vacation’, I’m running posts from other sites.  The driest climate satirist on the web is DenialDepot, whose only flaw as a blogger is not enough posting!

Let’s start with DenialDepot’s latest gem, “Jaws: A movie review.”

Plot

It all starts when a body washes up on a beach. Of course bodies wash up on beaches all the time in natural cycles called tides. It happens. I was very unsurprised by this, but the so-called “experts” in Amity are opportunists and exploited the situation for their own agenda.

The coroner is tasked with determining the cause of death. Rather than just admitting “we do not know” he instead coins a bizarre theory that a shark is to blame. The police chief, Martin Brody, a kind of Al-Gore figure, believes the claims of the coroner unquestionably. Just laps it up. One minute he’s on the phone to the coroner, next minute he’s writing the cause of death on a report as “shark attack”. Unbelievable.

Delaying Action

The Town Mayor, Larry Vaughn, comes up with a much plausible theory – that the cause of death was a boat propeller. He should have thrown some more theories in there though in case they find a problem with the boat propeller one. Keep the experts busy addressing various counter explanations, however implausible, and action will be delayed.

If I was Mayor Vaughn I would have also sent an FIOA request for the coroner’s raw data and all the emails sent between the police chief and the coroner. Then I could have sifted through it looking for something wrong.

Ben Meadows, a journalist for the Amity Gazette, was more effective at delaying action. First he cites technical procedures preventing closure of the beach:

“Technically you need the instruction of a civic ordinance or a special meeting of the town selectmen.”

Very true!

When that doesn’t work he appeals to uncertainty and doubt:

“We’re not even sure what it was.”

Indeed. It could have been a boat propeller, or perhaps a particularly sharp piece of water. Keep the experts on their toes, don’t let them reach a “conclusion”.

Mayor Vaughn sums up alarmism:

“It’s all psychological, anyway. You yell ‘Barracuda’ and everyone says ‘huh’. You yell ‘Shark’ and we’ve got a panic on our hands. I think we all agree we don’t need a panic this close to the 4th of July.”

Another Dead Body

Another dead body is found. Yawn. Of course the alarmism hits the roof and the “shark theory” goes public. The Mayor wisely holds a council meeting, kind of like a congressional hearing, and invites all the local business leaders.

Even if there IS a shark, is mitigating the problem by closing the beach really the correct solution? Can’t bathers just adapt to a killer shark? Not that we are conceding ground on the existence of the shark yet. As one of the locals helpfully points out: “Nobody’s seen a shark.”. True at least no-one alive has seen one, and that’s all that really matters.

Enter The Scientist

Matt Hooper from the “Oceanographic Institute” turns up. No-one seems to have called him, he just kind of appears. I’ve heard that scientists can actually smell sources of funding from up to 50 kilometers away. Hooper takes one look at the body and arrogantly proclaims:

“It wasn’t an ‘accident,’ it wasn’t a boat propeller, or a coral reef, or Jack the Ripper. It was a shark.”

What alarmist nonsense! He just blew through all those equally good explanations. And as the local pointed out “nobody’s seen a shark”. So it’s unscientific for Hooper to assert there definitely is a shark. He’s hiding the uncertainty and doubt. Of course if he admitted there wasn’t a shark all his funding would dry up…

But just like the CAGW fraud, the locals fall for Hooper’s academic speak as if a so-called “shark expert” is some kind of authority on sharks. They are seemingly forgetting that Mayor Vaughn’s theories are just as valid.

What Mayor Vaughn should have done here is start a blog called SharkAudit or WhatsUpWithTheShark. Unfortunately he doesn’t think of this.

The Shark is Caught

While the so-called “experts” are playing with their “theories” and models, the local townspeople in the real world manage to catch and kill the shark, it’s a large tiger shark which they bring back onto land. At this point we can conclude it was a shark attack after-all, because now that the possibility of beach closure has gone there is no reason to deny it anymore.

Of course Hooper the shark “expert” is not happy. He refuses to accept facts and claims they need to open the shark up to check it’s the right one. The police chief, who is probably a communist stooge, is only too happy for this to go ahead.

Mayor Vaugn successfully prevents an autopsy on the shark. There’s no need for evidence anymore.

The Scientist Admits To Losing the Raw Data

Hooper finds a Great White shark tooth in a wreck containing another dead body. Wow that’s convenient. A dead body AND a Great White shark tooth. You couldn’t make it up! Oh but wait it gets better – the Mayor wisely does an audit:

“Is that tooth here? Did anyone see it?”

Hooper admits he LOST the shark tooth in the water. If I was that incompetent in my business I would go out of business. But this is Oceanography we are talking about.

So the mayor wisely ignores the 3rd body citing the missing shark tooth:

“Well, I’m not going to commit economic suicide on that flimsy evidence.”

Quite right! That’s exactly what these socialists want you to do – commit economic suicide!

We Need More Funding!

The police chief makes a play for more funding:

“We have got to close the beaches. We have got to get someone to kill the shark, we need non-corrosive mesh netting, we need scientific support…”

Such a transparent grab for socialism and government control of the beach! The so-called shark expert also makes a frenzied last ditch attempt to fool the masses:

“Out there is a Perfect Engine, an Eating Machine that is a miracle of evolution — it swims and eats and that’s all. Look at that! Those proportions are correct. I know sharks.”

If he actually believed there was a killer shark out there about to eat people would he really get so hysterical about it?

The mayor exposes his hidden agenda:

“You’d love to prove that. Getting your name in the National Geographic.”

Yes it’s all about funding and fame with these so-called “experts”. They want to get their names in magazines. Can’t trust them.

Anyway in the end it turns out a great white shark killed all those people. But on the plus side the beach does stay open.

Inferno, DenialDepot.

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10 Responses to Jaws: A movie review by DenialDepot

  1. Prokaryotes says:

    “You’re gonna need a bigger boat!”
    Official gusher estimates finally reach levels reported 6 weeks ago
    http://climateprogress.org/2010/06/11/scientists-to-bp-youre-gonna-need-a-bigger-boat/

  2. Bob Doublin says:

    During the Gulf Oil Crisis when I heard all those idiot mayors go on and on about how safe their beaches were and ya’ll should come on down to enjoy them, it didn’t take very many seconds for me to think of the mayor of Amity and JAWS.Don’t you just love it when life imitates art?

  3. peter whitehead says:

    Christmas Doctor Who has a sleigh pulled by a f;ying shark. You got to see it.

  4. peter whitehead says:

    should say FLYING

  5. Refer to the 1882 Ibsen play “An Enemy of the People” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/An_Enemy_of_the_People

    It is essentially the Jaws plot – only it is staged as a small town with healing waters health spa – and only the town doctor says the waters are poison and it is time to close them down. But the popularity and profit is too strong and the doctor faces the great conflict.

    It really is a great theme – wonder if there are earlier examples in literature – i.e. is this just a human flaw?

  6. Richard Brenne says:

    Author! Author! It’d be great to know who the author is if they care to share that information, for I feel that this satire is better than the book or movie Jaws combined. While I like the message conveyed here and where that exists in the movie and book, I always felt that Jaws was just Ibsen’s play “An Enemy of the People” superimposed over Melville’s “Moby Dick.”

    Taken as allegory the way the DenialDepot expertly spins it, then Jaws is an important work.

    Without the importance of that allegory, it was just another Hollywood gorefest (not Al) to me. At night they showed it at the edge of an outdoor swimming pool in Boulder about a decade ago, putting kids off ocean and other kinds of swimming for a lifetime.

    It perpetuates hysteria and the belief that sharks eat humans, when in fact they’ll sometimes take a bite out of a surfboard or surfer to see what it is. They mean no ill will when they do this – such ill will is reserved almost exclusively for humans.

    And for every human a shark has killed, how many sharks do you think humans have killed? I’m guessing it might be 100,000 to 1 or more ratio.

    So while the gory and sensational parts of the movie are overhyped nonsense, the sensible warning of closing the beach despite loss of profits and looking at the science are valid alle-gories.

  7. Esop says:

    #6 (Richard):
    Another example: Semmelweis and the germ theory:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ignaz_Semmelweis

  8. Pat says:

    Richard Brenne makes the point:

    “Taken as allegory the way the DenialDepot expertly spins it … Jaws is an important work.

    Without the importance of that allegory, it was just another Hollywood gorefest (not Al) to me. At night they showed it at the edge of an outdoor swimming pool in Boulder about a decade ago, putting kids off ocean and other kinds of swimming for a lifetime.

    It perpetuates hysteria and the belief that sharks eat humans, when in fact they’ll sometimes take a bite out of a surfboard or surfer to see what it is. They mean no ill will when they do this – such ill will is reserved almost exclusively for humans.

    And for every human a shark has killed, how many sharks do you think humans have killed? I’m guessing it might be 100,000 to 1 or more ratio.”

    While I agree that Jaws has nurtured an unreasonable fear of sharks, I feel that the allegoric content was there from the beginning. Peter Benchley has, or perhaps came to, a more nuanced view of the shark which can be seen in his book Shark Trouble.

    http://www.amazon.com/Shark-Trouble-Peter-Benchley/dp/0812966333/ref=sr_1_10?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1293562759&sr=1-10#_

  9. gallopingcamel says:

    Richard Brenne, (@7),
    Roughly a year ago we exchanged views. I am still seeking enlightenment and would appreciate your comments on the following:
    http://diggingintheclay.wordpress.com/2010/12/30/dorothy-behind-the-curtain-part-2/