If, in fact, a threatened filibuster materializes tonight as the Senate prepares to vote on the debt ceiling compromise, said filibuster will keep a lot of Washington up late. It will also be exceedingly boring. American lawmakers may be good at a number of things, among them raising money, asking leading questions in hearings, and appearing on cable television, but almost none of them are even close to entertaining for more than a few minutes at a time. So if we’re going to have to suffer monologues, here are six people I’d rather see yielded time than any of our representatives in Congress.

1. Ian McShane, now and forever. Whether he’s reconciling God, evolution, and breakfast on Kings:

Or explaining the importance of calm to conquering the difficulties of life on Deadwood (which, NSFW unless you put your headphones in):

I would listen to McShane talk forever, and unlike most members of Congress, consider it a privilege to pay him to do it.

2. If you want to go full-bore crazy to match the circumstances, Tom Wilkinson, in Michael Clayton, does it better just about anyone else.

3. Or, if you want people to forget they’re being kept from the business at hand, bring in Emma Thompson, who can do inspired impressions all night long:

4. If the goal is to depress both yourselves and the journalists monitoring you, bring in Philip Seymour Hoffman as Lester Bangs:

Then, he can cheer everyone up and creep everyone out by telling Truman Capote stories.

5. Or to talk your colleagues into economic stimulus, Gary Oldman in Fifth Element mode is always a good bet:

6. Meryl Streep, on sweaters. On anything:

I approach remakes with a healthy distrust, but for reasons of policy and politics, I’m actually fairly intrigued by the prospects of the proposed remake of Annie. The project on the table sounds kind of deeply strange and wonderful, if it happens. Will Smith is apparently negotiating with Emma Thompson to adapt a screenplay musical that would have Willow Smith in the starring role. I say wonderful because I think Thompson’s adaptation of Sense and Sensibility is one of the best expansions on and cleaning up of a text ever (not to mention her equally marvelous performance in it). But I am also wondering how her very British sensibility will translate to a story that’s American and ethnic in its origins, and that with Smith behind it, might require a very different urban and racial sensibility. At the same time, I’d really love to see a black Daddy Warbucks. Jay-Z, of course, already has his audition reel in:

But more importantly, since Annie‘s supposed to be a universal American story, I would really like to see a simple, uncomplicated statement that African-Americans, and particularly black men, can be the vehicles for that story. If we can have Jay-Z in gruff mogul mode having his heart melted by a gawky, adorable Willow Smith without having a debate about the state of black fatherhood, or hedging his right to parent her in any way, I think there would be something lovely about that.

Last week, Paulie asked me in comments on my post about Miss Representation, “Say I’m a stereotypical guy looking to watch/read something new. What stuff written by or starring women am I likely to enjoy?” Here, in no particular order, are 18 things that I think would appeal to men. I’ve omitted classics because I assume you know. All of these, for me, pass Ta-Nehisi’s test in that these are not things you should watch or read out of obligation, but because they’re very good. Got more suggestions? Toss ‘em in comments.

1. Prime Suspect: Helen Mirren is so universally understood to be an amazing actresses, a salty dame, and a foxy lady, that it’s difficult to think about a time when she wasn’t a phenomenon in the U.S. as well as in the U.K. But if you want to understand Mirren’s general awesomeness, it’s worth checking out her seven-season run as DCI Jane Tennison, during which Mirren puts away serial killers, works with immigrant communities, challenges institutional sexism, has affairs and an abortion, and acknowledges her drinking problem. In other words, she’s an actual person rather than a saint, a living illustration of the costs of breaking gender barriers in the working world. And she’s funny, too.

2. Anything Barbara Stanwyck: The woman was tougher than most of the guys she was on-screen with, even in a dress so tight she couldn’t run in it, even in heels that she broke strategically as a way to get back to a mark’s stateroom on a cruise ship. “I love him because he’s a kind of a guy that gets drunk on a glass of buttermilk,” she declared in Ball of Fire. “I need him like the axe needs the turkey,” she glowered about Henry Fonda in The Lady Eve. Stanwyck is the apotheosis of the idea women can be equal — even superior — to men with an entirely different toolkit. Read this profile and critical reassessment of her by David Denby. Then rent The Lady Eve and prepare to die laughing during the mirror scene.

3. Emma Thompson and Ang Lee’s Sense and Sensibility: Jane Austen is, indeed awesome, but Emma Thompson is the only woman who possibly could have improved upon her, turning Sense and Sensibility into a pitch-perfect examination of why women get emotionally attached too quickly, or don’t explain why they’re thinking — and how social pressure, particularly when it comes to class and money, leads men into bad decisions. The movie is sharp, very funny, and quite moving. Yeah, it’s Austen and it’s understated, but don’t let that fool you into thinking it’s boring.
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