Rep. Allen West (R-FL) appears to have some fairly strong opinions about what it takes to act like a lady, and he expressed them in an email to his colleague, Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz (D-FL) yesterday. “You are the most vile, unprofessional, and despicable member of the US House of Representatives. If you have something to say to me, stop being a coward and say it to my face, otherwise, shut the heck up,” he wrote to her. “You have proven repeatedly that you are not a Lady, therefore, shall not be afforded due respect from me!” Given the restrictiveness of Mr. West’s vision of ladylike conduct, I thought it was important to provide him with a primer on things ladies are allowed to do.

1. Put one over on clueless heirs to beer fortunes, trick them into marriage, blow their minds with the fact that you have an actual sexual history, and then seduce them all over again:

2. Provide vicious rhetorical beatdowns to young ladies of inappropriate class backgrounds who seem in imminent danger of marrying your nephew:

3. Decide that a fully realized sexual life is an integral part of being human:

4. Understand that position’s all well and good, but that it ultimately can’t stand in the way of modernity:

and

5. Never, never, never surrender, even if it means that people decide you’re a pushy, capitalist tramp.

6. Stand up for their sisters’ honor:

It’s not surprising that West made the mistake of assuming that being a lady means a pliant, adorable cream puff. Lots of folks do. But Debbie Wasserman Schultz is heir to the best part of the lady tradition: the tough as nails one.

Last week, Paulie asked me in comments on my post about Miss Representation, “Say I’m a stereotypical guy looking to watch/read something new. What stuff written by or starring women am I likely to enjoy?” Here, in no particular order, are 18 things that I think would appeal to men. I’ve omitted classics because I assume you know. All of these, for me, pass Ta-Nehisi’s test in that these are not things you should watch or read out of obligation, but because they’re very good. Got more suggestions? Toss ‘em in comments.

1. Prime Suspect: Helen Mirren is so universally understood to be an amazing actresses, a salty dame, and a foxy lady, that it’s difficult to think about a time when she wasn’t a phenomenon in the U.S. as well as in the U.K. But if you want to understand Mirren’s general awesomeness, it’s worth checking out her seven-season run as DCI Jane Tennison, during which Mirren puts away serial killers, works with immigrant communities, challenges institutional sexism, has affairs and an abortion, and acknowledges her drinking problem. In other words, she’s an actual person rather than a saint, a living illustration of the costs of breaking gender barriers in the working world. And she’s funny, too.

2. Anything Barbara Stanwyck: The woman was tougher than most of the guys she was on-screen with, even in a dress so tight she couldn’t run in it, even in heels that she broke strategically as a way to get back to a mark’s stateroom on a cruise ship. “I love him because he’s a kind of a guy that gets drunk on a glass of buttermilk,” she declared in Ball of Fire. “I need him like the axe needs the turkey,” she glowered about Henry Fonda in The Lady Eve. Stanwyck is the apotheosis of the idea women can be equal — even superior — to men with an entirely different toolkit. Read this profile and critical reassessment of her by David Denby. Then rent The Lady Eve and prepare to die laughing during the mirror scene.

3. Emma Thompson and Ang Lee’s Sense and Sensibility: Jane Austen is, indeed awesome, but Emma Thompson is the only woman who possibly could have improved upon her, turning Sense and Sensibility into a pitch-perfect examination of why women get emotionally attached too quickly, or don’t explain why they’re thinking — and how social pressure, particularly when it comes to class and money, leads men into bad decisions. The movie is sharp, very funny, and quite moving. Yeah, it’s Austen and it’s understated, but don’t let that fool you into thinking it’s boring.
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