Ecotricity calls itself the “world’s first green electricity company” devoted exclusively to procuring and selling renewable electrons. The company is also developing projects to support biogas and displace the use of natural gas.

I love the ad. But I’m a bit confused as to how this will make people want to move away from coal and nuclear?  I have to say, those tea-drinking cooling towers are kind of cute….

Related Humor:

• Great Doonesbury Global Warming Cartoon
• Toles: “The denier’s defense against global warming”

To inspire you, this classic Toles cartoon:

“Newt Gingrich did that global warming ad with Nancy Pelosi, realized that the Earth is very sick, and now he wants to leave it for a younger planet.”

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

Related Post:

• Sorry, Buzz Aldrin, we’re not sending people to Mars by 2029 to “homestead” or study “climate change”

I propose the following drinking game:

1. The first time the President uses the phrase “climate change” or “global warming,” down the drink of your choice.
2. The second time, empty out the liquor cabinet.
3. The third time, it’s a weekend in Las Vegas with Charlie Sheen or Chelsea Handler.

OK, perhaps this is best called a sobriety game, if this is anything like his last State of the Union Address (see Obama calls for massive boost in low-carbon energy, but doesn’t mention carbon, climate or warming).

Given that Obama is apparently going to push domestic hydrocarbon production but not a price on carbon, I’m adding this:

1. Every time Obama talks up domestic oil production, drink one cup of coffee.
2. Every time Obama talks up domestic natural gas production, drink one cup of non-herbal tea.

And remember, if you don’t get any sleep tonight, it’s not my fault!

UPDATE:  The energy parts of speech posted below

But with only 2 percent of the world’s oil reserves, oil isn’t enough.  This country needs an all-out, all-of-the-above strategy that develops every available source of American energy – a strategy that’s cleaner, cheaper, and full of new jobs.

We have a supply of natural gas that can last America nearly one hundred years, and my Administration will take every possible action to safely develop this energy.  Experts believe this will support more than 600,000 jobs by the end of the decade.  And I’m requiring all companies that drill for gas on public lands to disclose the chemicals they use.  America will develop this resource without putting the health and safety of our citizens at risk.

The development of natural gas will create jobs and power trucks and factories that are cleaner and cheaper, proving that we don’t have to choose between our environment and our economy.  And by the way, it was public research dollars, over the course of thirty years, that helped develop the technologies to extract all this natural gas out of shale rock – reminding us that Government support is critical in helping businesses get new energy ideas off the ground.

What’s true for natural gas is true for clean energy.  In three years, our partnership with the private sector has already positioned America to be the world’s leading manufacturer of high-tech batteries.  Because of federal investments, renewable energy use has nearly doubled.  And thousands of Americans have jobs because of it.

When Bryan Ritterby was laid off from his job making furniture, he said he worried that at 55, no one would give him a second chance.  But he found work at Energetx, a wind turbine manufacturer in Michigan.  Before the recession, the factory only made luxury yachts.  Today, it’s hiring workers like Bryan, who said, “I’m proud to be working in the industry of the future.”

Our experience with shale gas shows us that the payoffs on these public investments don’t always come right away.  Some technologies don’t pan out; some companies fail.  But I will not walk away from the promise of clean energy.  I will not walk away from workers like Bryan.  I will not cede the wind or solar or battery industry to China or Germany because we refuse to make the same commitment here.  We have subsidized oil companies for a century.  That’s long enough.  It’s time to end the taxpayer giveaways to an industry that’s rarely been more profitable, and double-down on a clean energy industry that’s never been more promising.   Pass clean energy tax credits and create these jobs.

We can also spur energy innovation with new incentives.  The differences in this chamber may be too deep right now to pass a comprehensive plan to fight climate change. But there’s no reason why Congress shouldn’t at least set a clean energy standard that creates a market for innovation.  So far, you haven’t acted.  Well tonight, I will.  I’m directing my Administration to allow the development of clean energy on enough public land to power three million homes.  And I’m proud to announce that the Department of Defense, the world’s largest consumer of energy, will make one of the largest commitments to clean energy in history – with the Navy purchasing enough capacity to power a quarter of a million homes a year.

Of course, the easiest way to save money is to waste less energy.  So here’s another proposal:  Help manufacturers eliminate energy waste in their factories and give businesses incentives to upgrade their buildings.  Their energy bills will be $100 billion lower over the next decade, and America will have less pollution, more manufacturing, and more jobs for construction workers who need them.  Send me a bill that creates these jobs.

Building this new energy future should be just one part of a broader agenda to repair America’s infrastructure.  So much of America needs to be rebuilt.  We’ve got crumbling roads and bridges.  A power grid that wastes too much energy.  An incomplete high-speed broadband network that prevents a small business owner in rural America from selling her products all over the world.

During the Great Depression, America built the Hoover Dam and the Golden Gate Bridge.  After World War II, we connected our States with a system of highways.  Democratic and Republican administrations invested in great projects that benefited everybody, from the workers who built them to the businesses that still use them today….

But I will not back down from making sure an oil company can contain the kind of oil spill we saw in the Gulf two years ago.  I will not back down from protecting our kids from mercury pollution, or making sure that our food is safe and our water is clean.

Related Post:

• Brulle: “By failing to even rhetorically address climate change, Obama is mortgaging our future and further delaying the necessary work to build a political consensus for real action.” Obama has mentioned ‘climate change’, ‘global warming’ or the ‘environment’ fewer times on average than his two predecessors, an article by the UK’s Guardian notes.

See also James Hansen slams Keystone XL Canada-U.S. Pipeline: “Exploitation of tar sands would make it implausible to stabilize climate and avoid disastrous global climate impacts”

“Nina likes to say we’re an equal opportunity offender…I personally am thrilled with everything we’re doing. I’m happy with the growth. I feel we’re growing. I think there’s room to grow. I’m thrilled with the arena, with CBS, who knows what a big, bold joke means,” he told an audience of critics, many of whom have argued that the show’s signal weakness is its heavy reliance on obvious racial humor. “I don’t find it offensive, any of this. I find it comic to take everybody down…Being a comedy writer gives you permission to be an outsider and poke fun at what people think of other people.”

King defended the jokes about Matthew Moy’s diner manager Han Lee, saying “I like the fact that he’s an immigrant. I like the fact that he’s trying to fit into America. I like the fact that in the last 3 episodes we haven’t made an Asian character, we’ve only made short jokes.”

He also said that he thought the show was an authentic representation of the relationships between people of different races and backgrounds in gentrifying New York neighborhoods.

“I feel that it is broad and brash and very current. It takes place in Williamsburg, NY,” he said. “It is a complete mashup of young, irreverent hipsters, old-school people, different nationalities, different ethnic backgrounds. And what our show represents is that mashup of smart girls and a wide range of characters. Nina [Tassler, president of CBS Entertainment] likes to say we’re an equal opportunity offender. I like to say that the big story about race on our show is so many are represented. The cast is incredibly multi-ethnic, including the regulars and the guest stars. We sort of represent what New York used to be, and still is, a melting pot.”

King did acknowledge that the show would continue to develop supporting characters of color like Garrett Morris’s Earl, who he said got a more substantial storyline in an upcoming episode. And he suggested that while his obligation was to expand the two main characters (who he said had their origins in stereotypes as well) first, he “didn’t think the [supporting] characters were one note. I thought they were the first note.”

But it was an undeniably tense session, with King at one point calling out The Wrap critic Tim Molloy and, in a lame attempt at proving the humor he was defending can work, suggesting that Molloy’s Irish heritage is the source of sexual problems. I’m told that critics asked these kinds of questions at summer press tour, so it’s difficult to believe that CBS in general, which has another broad ethnic show debuting in Rob, or King in particular would have been surprised by them. Perhaps he genuinely believes that these sort of jokes are cutting edge in the same way he suggested that the show’s sex jokes reflect the fact that the show is “8:30, on Monday on CBS in 2012. It’s a very different world than 8:30 on Monday on CBS in 1994.” If this is as far as we’ve come, we’ve got a long haul ahead of us.

Speaking at his private yacht club, MHM told supporters, “The corporations and money of New Hampshire have exercised their God-given rights tonight.  They have said they want a President who likes to fire people, who isn’t afraid to make $10,000 bets, a President who likes to strap his dog on the roof of the car for family trips, even after it had “a bout of diarrhea, which could be seen running down the rear window.”  You want someone who understands it’s more important to end the regulations that harm corporations than it is to reduce air and water pollution that harms people.  Why?  Corporations are people, my friend.  People are corporations, my friend.  Corporations are friends, my people!  Oh, and release the hounds. Seriously, I can’t stand you people.  You call that a yacht?  I have life boats bigger than that.”

With his disappointing third-place finish, MTM told supporters at his exclusive country club, “in the end, MHM isn’t electable because the President has $1 billion to spend and that means 1 billion votes under these new rules, and sure MHM may be able to buy 200 million votes, but I was ambassador to China and the Chinese have real money, if you know what I mean.”

Meanwhile, in South Carolina, MM told his supporters at a book-signing, “MHM made his money plundering American corporations, extracting cash from them while destroying jobs.  That should be truly revolting to all South Carolina voters.  I made my money the old-fashioned way, selling influence to government-sponsored entities who took my advice and then destroyed the entire economy.  I made my money extracting cash from Big Oil and corporate polluters and any other corporation dumb enough to think that I have any influence in Congress whatsoever.  I’m not against MHM because he is a vulture capitalist, I’m against him because I think he lacks the genius needed to truly bleed the 99% dry.  I’d put poor kids in orphanages — even if they still had parents — and feed them Soylent Green.”

In unrelated news, poverty and income inequality hit record levels.

Related Post:

• Breaking: Climate Science Denier Wins Iowa Caucuses

And a belated holiday cartoon from Moms Clean Air Force.

API’s newest television ad, which supposedly portrays grassroots supporters expressing their love of oil and gas, was recently shown by undercover activists to be nothing more than a scripted job. Not much of a surprise, perhaps.

It’s tough to hit back with the same amount of money deployed for a campaign like this (the cost of which API won’t disclose.) So why not hit back with humor? Here’s an ad mocking the “I Vote 4 Energy” television spots, produced by PolluterWatch:

It was a battle down to the wire in Iowa with many unexpected twists and turns.  But in the end, Climate Science Denier (CSD) edged out Denier of Climate Science (DCS) and Science of Climate Denier (SCD) in the first GOP contest for the right to compete against Climate Science Ignorer (CSI) in the general election.

CSD told a small crowd at the airport, “The citizens of Iowa have spoken and decided that I am uniquely qualified to deny climate science.  They’ve sent a message to the president that simply ignoring climate change isn’t going to cut it with the  American people, especially the job creators.  We need somebody who can deny the problem entirely so the job creators can feel better about pocketing most of the wealth generated in this country while ruining a livable climate for everyone else.”

The real story of the caucuses may be SCD, who came from nowhere just a week ago to come within a few points votes of victory.  SCD told a smaller crowd at the airport, “I am the only true denier in the race.  CSD has flip-flopped on this issue, like so many others.  Just last spring he said he actually believed in the findings of the overwhelming majority of climate scientists, that the climate is changing, humans are the main cause, and failing to act threatens modern human civilization.  What poppy-cock!  There isn’t an inch of difference between CSD and CSI.”

Meanwhile, SCD told a massive crowd at the airport, “We really need to get rid of the Federal Reserve.  As for climate change, that’s best left to individuals to address, even it exists, which I doubt.”  SCD said he did not think he would win the nomination but refused to say whether he would mount a third-party run, which many fear would split the denial vote and allow CSI to capture a second term, thereby threatening 4 more years of left-wing, socialist inaction on the gravest threat to humanity.

One-time front runner, GWSOCWNPBRDCS (Guy who sat on couch with Nancy Pelosi but really denies climate science), finished far behind the 3 leaders, but vowed to press on saying, “CSD has been lying to you and getting his millionaire buddies to fund ads attacking me.  He’s really someone who used to believe in climate science, whereas I was just pretending to so I could be more credible as a critic of cap-and-tax.  I’m a genius, don’t you forget, and so even my mistakes are unintentional works of brilliance.  I’m going to win this thing just as soon as I come up with a shorter, catchier acronym.”

Jon Huntsman, speaking to his wife and family in New Hampshire, said something about how we must teach our children to respect science and scientists, since they are the engine of economic growth and the only hope for humanity, but no reporter was there to record it.

In unrelated news, greenhouse gas emissions and concentrations reached record levels in 2011, as did extreme weather disasters.

NOTE:  Watch this space for any late breaking updates.

via DailyKos (click to enlarge)

And here’s a bonus climate cartoon by Toles today:

Related Posts:

• Toles: “The denier’s defense against global warming”
• Tom Toles climate humor
• Best Toles cartoon ever
• Cartoonist Tom Toles slams GOP denial: “They have turned their faces away from climate change in a way that is simply and utterly unforgivable.”

Re-posted from National Lampoon

Rank          Number      Previous Rank

#1                              1                                   1

#2                              4                                  4

#3                              2                                  2

#4                              5                                  5

#5                               3                                  3

#6                               9                                  9

#7                               8                                  8

#8                               7                                  7

#9                               6                                  6

#10                             10                              10

Plus a bonus global warming cartoon:

By Alex Hallatt, From the Cartoonist Group.

GENEVA—A new report from the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change warned Monday that global warming is likely to become completely irreversible if no successful effort is made to slow down the trend before 2006.

Unless greenhouse-gas emissions are drastically reduced by then, the report concludes, it will be too late to avoid inflicting a grave environmental catastrophe upon future generations.

If global warming isn’t under control by 2006, scientists say it will achieve unstoppable momentum, destroying the only planet we have.

Okay, it’s just another killer piece from The Onion.  It ranks with their classic, Major new report finds “Global warming issue from 2 or 3 years ago may still be problem.” Still, it’s good to know someone in the major media is paying attention to the latest science.

Let’s get back to America’s Finest News Service coverage of this shocking new report.

“We have absolutely no time to waste,” said Dr. William Tumminelli, lead author of the report, which stresses it is utterly crucial the world cut its carbon footprint in half by the year 2000. “If we wait until 1998 or even 1995 to really start doing something about climate change, our planet’s rising temperature will already have set in motion a series of devastating and irreparable long-term consequences. We need to have strict international rules in place well ahead of 2006 or, to be blunt, many of the earth’s inhabitants will be doomed.”

“The situation could not possibly be more urgent,” Tumminelli added.

The IPCC report—the most comprehensive study of its kind ever undertaken—estimates the failure to address global warming immediately could result in sea levels rising 6 inches by the end of the 20th century, 2000-2009 being the hottest decade ever recorded, and roughly half the Arctic ice cap melting by 2011.

Even before 2006, when the report indicates the concentration of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere will reach “entirely unmanageable levels,” scientists confirm the likelihood of an alarming increase in the frequency and sever­ity of hurricanes, floods, heat waves, and droughts, which could lead to death tolls in the hundreds of thousands.

“Climate change is the deadliest crisis currently facing humanity, so needless to say, we can expect it to be the dominant issue of the 2000 presidential election,” Brookings Institution political analyst Gloria Leting said. “It stands to reason that, as the world’s foremost producer of greenhouse gases, the United States will want to take the lead in preventing this disaster while we still have time.”

“We can also count on hearing U.S. Senate candidates make firm campaign promises to ratify the Kyoto Protocol as soon as they take office,” continued Leting, referring to the U.N. accord that aims to enforce emission standards starting in 2005. “Our elected officials realize Americans don’t want to suffer the embarrassment of not being among the first nations to approve such an vitally important agreement.”

The report also outlines a set of year-by-year goals aimed at curbing emissions prior to 2006, such as weatherizing all homes by 1979, replacing household light bulbs with compact fluorescent models by 1985, phasing out fossil fuels by 1992, and taking steps to ensure the world population never reaches the “exceedingly dangerous” 7 billion mark.

If the 2006 deadline isn’t met, climatologists warn the world will eventually experience planet-wide cataclysms, including massive shortages of potable water, insufficient crop productivity, the extinction of numerous species, and unprecedented outbreaks of famine and pandemic disease.

“The picture by the end of the 21st century becomes quite bleak, frankly,” Dr. Tumminelli said. “I, for one, would not want to live in the world this report describes: entire Asian cities underwater from monsoon flooding, mass human diasporas, wars fought over the scraps of habitable land still remaining—hell on earth, basically. Our only hope is for the nations of the world to put aside their individual interests and take decisive action by 2006.”

Although the report represents the collaborative efforts of several thousand scientists, some observers expressed doubt about the objectivity of the study.

“I think the report is a bit reactionary, and perhaps even politically motivated.” said Arthur Bainbridge, a climate policy specialist based in Washington. “Plenty of alternative models have estimated 2008 or even 2010 as the absolute point of no return.”

– The Onion

Related Climate Progress Posts:

• NOAA stunner: Climate change “largely irreversible for 1000 years,” with permanent Dust Bowls in Southwest and around the globe
• “Irreversible does not mean unstoppable” (a post I will update shortly)

Related Onion Humor:

• Republicans vote to repeal Obama-backed bill that would destroy asteroid headed for Earth
• The Onion on Climate Change: An Issue This Critical Demands at Least 45 Seconds of Real, Concentrated Panic Each Week
• The Onion: Planet Earth Doesn’t Know How To Make It Any Clearer It Wants Everyone To Leave

Toles also penned an “outtake” on the Wall Street’s robber barons:

Related Posts:

• Best Toles cartoon ever
• Toles’ “last rant about the climate”

Great to see Horsey throw in an environmental message.  The first of the cartoons below also does:

h/t Selfdeprecate.com

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• Top Ten Occupy Wall Street Cartoons

Global greenhouse gas emissions saw their biggest single-year jump ever between 2009 and 2010, exceeding worst-case scenario projections with an increase of 564 million tons. What do you think?

Yes, “Strong-Nitric Operator” is a real job.

Related Posts:

• Major new report finds “Global warming issue from 2 or 3 years ago may still be problem”
• Biggest Jump Ever in Global Warming Pollution in 2010, Chinese CO2 Emissions Now Exceed U.S.’s By 50%