Last Friday’s decision to postpone a vote on marriage equality in the Illinois House came as a huge disappointment to supporters of LGBT equality. But Prairie State voters can take heart from legislative battles in other states where marriage equality was similarly delayed or defeated — but where the same chambers went on to pass bills soon after.

Like Illinois, legislative efforts to pass marriage equality stumbled in Maryland, New Hampshire, New Jersey, and New York — either failing to obtain a majority or by through postponed consideration. Future attempts to enact legislation later succeeded in three of those states, while the New Jersey legislature’s passage of a bill was met with a Gov. Chris Christie’s (R) veto. As Illinois supporters work to win passage of the bill later this year, ThinkProgress reached out to key players in each of those states and asked them about their experiences.

Three common themes emerged in their responses. Several said Illinois supporters need to make sure they have an accurate target list and focus on the lawmakers who need persuading. Constituents, they suggested, must respectfully tell their personal stories to their legislators and make their representatives understand why this issue matters to their families. Finally, the openly LGBT caucus within the legislature must appeal personally and emotionally to their colleagues, especially those who may not be as attuned to the topic.

Maryland

Perhaps the most analogous case was Maryland’s unsuccessful 2011 attempt to pass a civil marriage bill through the state House of Delegates. Though advocates believed they had the needed votes to pass the bill, they were forced to postpone the vote after some pledged supporters wavered. Unlike Illinois, supporters went through with the debate — hoping their compelling personal stories might sway the handful of votes needed for a majority — before sending the bill back to committee after it became apparent the votes would not be there. Advocates, including Gov. Martin O’Malley (D), the state’s seven openly LGBT Delegates, and LGBT groups, organized a new campaign and successfully pushed the bill through less than a year later. When opponents forced the question onto the November ballot, a majority voted for marriage equality.

Openly lesbian Maryland Del. Heather Mizeur (D) noted that about 10 supporters were willing to be a part of a 71-vote majority but would have voted against the bill if it appeared likely to lose. “It would not have been okay to lose by 12 votes and try to come back the next year to win those back. We wanted to hold onto their willingness to be yes on a winning vote, instead of locking them into a no vote because they saw it was going down,” she recalled. To turn around the vote in Illinois, she suggested, “it could be helpful for them to try to wage an effort to get their supporters to sign some sort of pledge, start getting a vote count, and get a campaign around securing public commitments.” Maryland’s success came, she explained, from working with allies at national organizations, state groups, and really putting together a campaign. “Leave no stone unturned until we’re able to claim victory.”

Carrie Evans, executive director of Equality Maryland, said that it made little sense to demand a vote in 2011 because there was not going to be an election before the next (2012) session. She noted that while grassroots activists were vital to the successful effort to win the second attempt, so was having a robust LGBT caucus inside the legislature who could remind colleagues, “you know my husband, you know my kids.” Issues like marriage equality, she observed, must be personal. “They’re so close — you really just have to build on that and get those last few votes.”
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Maryland De. Emmett Burns (D)

Last September, Maryland Del. Emmett Burns (D) wrote a letter to Baltimore Ravens owner Steven Disciotti demanding he silence linebacker Brendon Ayanbadejo from speaking out for marriage equality. (That letter prompted Minnesota Viking Chris Kluwe’s infamous response that gay people “won’t magically turn you into a lustful cockmonster.”) A few days later, Burns admitted that Ayanbadejo “has his First Amendment rights.” Now, a Maryland legislative ethics committee has found that his use of government stationary was “an abuse of public resources“:

Your use of official General Assembly letterhead to pressure the employer of a citizen of Maryland to suppress the citizen’s right of free speech was a particularly egregious abuse of public resources.

The committee recommended no disciplinary action, however, telling Burns “you have recognized the error of your violation and have publicly apologized.” It’s unclear that he actually ever apologized, though. Despite having admitted Ayanbadejo has First Amendment rights, Burns still feels that “professional football is not the place to be pushing gay rights.” Given Burns’ vociferous opposition to LGBT equality, he likely doesn’t believe that any such “place to be pushing gay rights” exists at all.

Over the past week, same-sex couples in Maryland and Maine were able to start wedding as voter-approved laws in both states took effect. Celebrations began in Maine on Saturday and in Maryland New Year’s Day. Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake officiated one of the first ceremonies just after midnight, calling the passed referendum “a remarkable achievement” for Maryland. Nine states and the District of Columbia now have full marriage equality.

Not all couples are rushing to get married, however. The Portland Press Herald notes that like opposite-sex couples, many same-sex couples are planning weddings where they can include their friends and family. One Maryland couple is even planning to invite strangers from Reddit to their April ceremony. Still, support was strong for couples who have already been waiting years to obtain legal recognition for their relationship, including a crowd singing “All You Need Is Love” outside the Portland City Hall and cheering on newlyweds early Saturday morning after midnight. This included Steven Bridges and Michael Snell, who were the first Maine couple to be married. Watch clips of their ceremony and the supportive crowd outside:

One of Grubbs' wedding trolleys. (Photo credit: Larson Photography.)

Distribution of same-sex marriage licenses just began in Maryland today, and already a Christian-owned business is complaining that it won’t be free to deny business to same-sex couples. Matt Grubbs runs Discover Annapolis Tours, which until now provided trolley cars to transport wedding parties and guests from churches to receptions. Because he refuses to provide this service for same-sex couples and their families, his lawyer has advised him to abandon this wedding service entirely, which will cost him $50,000 a year in revenue. Grubbs believes the government should grant him an exemption to discriminate:

GRUBBS: The law exempts my minister from doing same-sex weddings, and the Knights of Columbus don’t have to rent out their hall for a gay wedding reception, but somehow my religious convictions don’t count for anything. [...]

We’re a Christian-owned company, and we just can’t support gay marriages. We’re not trying to make a statement. We’re not trying to make a point. We’re just trying to be faithful Christians.

Of course, the National Organization for Marriage was quick to claim that it had foreseen this “consequence” of marriage equality:

The ballot shown to Maryland voters used 25 words to described the redefinition of marriage but over 70 words claiming false religious exemptions for people and institutions who disagree with redefined marriage.

Sure enough, as we warned, citizens in Maryland who disagree with redefined marriage are now being forced out of the public square and are NOT protected under the redefining marriage law passed in Maryland.

There was nothing “false” about the exemptions for religious leaders and institutions, but as Jeremy Hooper points out, the law never promised a right for bus vendors to discriminate. In fact, if a same-sex couple decided to have a non-legal commitment ceremony before the marriage equality bill passed, it would have been just as illegal for Grubbs to deny them service then as it is now. Maryland law says that it’s illegal to for businesses to discriminate against customers on the basis of sexual orientation, and the legality of marriage doesn’t change that.

Women were once prohibited from owning property. People of color were once denied use of the same facilities and services as white people. Now anti-gay Christians, led by NOM, are trying to use their faith to justify blatant discrimination against same-sex couples. If the discrimination is more important than the revenue to Grubbs, that is his choice, but it does not make him a victim.

Last week’s victories in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and Washington are the latest signifiers that support continues to grow for marriage equality. But recent data suggest that the trend is not consistent across all geographical regions and communities, including some interesting results from those states.

Pew Research Center conducted a poll on same-sex marriage just two weeks before the election, its third reading on the issue this year. Marriage equality hit the highest favor (49 percent) and lowest opposition (40 percent) that Pew has ever recorded, just the latest in what Pew describes as the “steep recent trend” toward support. Still, there are big regional divides, with 62 percent favor in New England and 57 percent favor in the mid-Atlantic compared to a more even split in the Midwest (46-44 in favor) and continued opposition in the South (56-35 against) and the South Atlantic (48-42 against). Still, the trend toward support is evident across all regions — the South just happens to be about 10 years behind the rest of the country.

Pew also found that support continues to grow among black Americans, at higher rates over 2012 than among whites. Still, the black community is more closely divided with 44 percent in favor, 39 opposed, and 17 percent unsure. Hispanic voters are less divided, with 59 percent supporting the freedom to marry and only 32 percent opposed.

Within the states where votes were held, other interesting dynamics are apparent. For example, in Maryland, two prominent Republican strongholds voted for Mitt Romney for president but also approved same-sex marriage, or voted for same-sex marriage at higher rates than for Romney. By contrast, newly elected Democrats in Minnesota are unsure whether they could support marriage equality efforts because constituents in their districts also voted for the referendum to ban recognition of such unions. This reflects how the trend toward equality has not advanced as quickly in the Midwest as it has on the east coast.

The National Organization for Marriage has claimed since last week that there is no such trend, but that is delusional thinking. Steve Schmidt, who advised the presidential campaigns of John McCain and George W. Bush, acknowledged this, asking on behalf of the Republican Party, “Why should we sign a suicide pact with the National Organization for Marriage?” Still, NOM may try to capitalize on the weak points in the polling, targeting vulnerable areas of the country where support is lower and continuing to attempt its nefarious race-wedging strategies.

The Catholic Church’s “Marriage Unique for a Reason” page has posted a round-up of various bishops’ disappointed reactions to the marriage equality victories in Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, and Washington this week. The Church was one of the single biggest funders of the anti-equality campaigns and a partner in all four states. These reactions reveal how Church leaders continue to condemn homosexuality and ostracize same-sex families while simultaneously claiming not to discriminate. As Cardinal Dolan indicated this week, they remain committed to fighting equality moving forward:

Bishop Richard Malone (formerly of Portland, Maine): “I trust that those who voted for such a radical change did so out of concern for our brothers and sisters who struggle with same-sex attraction.”

Archibishop William Lori (Baltimore, Maryland): “[We need to] redouble our efforts to defend marriage, to preach about what marriage is, and to help people understand it as a unique relationship that does not discriminate against anyone, but is for the good of children and for the good of society.

Maryland Catholic Conference: “The ballot language they encountered masked the fact that this law does not simply assign civil benefits to gay and lesbian couples, but drastically dismantles in our state law the fundamental family unit of mother, father and child.”

Minnesota Catholic Conference: “Our position on the amendment was never ‘anti’ anyone, but ‘for’ marriage. We continue to emphasize that everyone, including those with same-sex attraction, must be treated with charity, dignity, and respect.”

Archdiocese of St. Paul/Minneapolis: “The Church’s public advocacy of support for the Minnesota Marriage Protection Amendment has always been rooted in our commitment to advance the common good for human society. [...] We will continue to work to strengthen marriage, and defend it against all forms of its weakening, for the good of all society.”

Archbishop J. Peter Sartain (Seattle, Washington): “I am disappointed that so many voters failed to recognize marriage between a man and a woman as the natural institution for the permanent, faithful covenant of love for a couple, for bringing children into the world, and for nurturing and educating those children. This change in civil law is not in the best interest of children or society.”

Though the Catholic Church strives to create a society where same-sex couples simply do not exist, they will increasingly have to co-exist with a nation that recognizes and welcomes these families into its communities.

Senator-elect Tammy Baldwin (D-WI)

In no uncertain terms, this year’s election was a sweeping mandate on LGBT equality. Forgotten is 2008′s bittersweet realization that though Barack Obama had won, California’s Proposition 8 had passed. Instead, this election’s returns show a new America poised to move forward and ensure that sexual orientation and gender identity are never barriers to freedom and security. Here’s a glimpse of just how sweeping the victory is for the LGBT community:

Maine

Maine’s voters have approved marriage equality with 53 percent in favor and 47 percent opposed, a complete reversal of the 2009 people’s veto of the very same law. Victory in Maine demonstrates the incredible power of personally connecting with voters, as advocates spent everyday since the 2009 loss canvassing to reach out. It is a significant milestone, because it is the first state to extend the freedom to marry entirely through a grassroots effort: voters brought forth a petition and then voters approved it. Conservatives cannot point to judges or lawmakers and somehow claim that the people did not have a say.

Maryland

Maryland also approved marriage equality by a 52-48 margin, proving that efforts to drive a wedge between the gay and black communities will not succeed. Like in Maine, the people had the opportunity to weigh in, and they weighed in on the side of equality and validating the legislature’s decision to pass same-sex marriage. This is also a significant win for Gov. Martin O’Malley (D), who championed this legislation all year long.

Washington [UPDATED]

UPDATE: As of Wednesday afternoon, victory has been officially declared in Washington for marriage equality!

This morning, Washington’s Referendum 74 is still too close to call, but with the votes coming in so far, it is leading 52-48. Given Washington’s victory in approving everything-but-marriage domestic partnerships in 2009, there is reason to be optimistic that its voters once again sided with equality.

Minnesota

Though Minnesota does not have marriage equality to embrace yet, the 51-48 defeat of its marriage inequality amendment is a significant victory. Opponents have boasted that in every state where voters have the chance to limit marriage to opposite-sex couples, they have done so, and Minnesota breaks that record. In addition, Democrats won control of both chambers of Minnesota’s legislature, ensuring that there will not be future attempts to enshrine discrimination in the constitution anytime soon.

LGBT Candidates

Yesterday was an historic victory for openly LGBT candidates, and the next Congress will break records for its significant out contingent. Tammy Baldwin (D-WI) will become the first LGBT member of the Senate. Mark Pocan (D-WI) will fill her House seat, joined by fellow newcomer Sean Patrick Maloney (D) of New York. In addition, Reps. Jared Polis (D-CO) and David Cicilline (D-RI) won re-election. A projected winner remains to be called in the House races for Mark Takano (D-CA) and Kyrsten Sinema (D-AZ), but they are both leading in the polls so far and could add to the record-breaking LGBT caucus.

(UPDATE: Mark Tokano has declared victory.)

One out candidate who did not win was Massachusetts Republican Richard Tisei, though this does not necessarily represent a loss for the LGBT community. Incumbent victor John Tierney (D) is a dedicated ally to the LGBT community who does not bear the same risk of further empowering conservatives who would act against equality.
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