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The Missing Ninja Turtle

By Matthew Yglesias  

"The Missing Ninja Turtle"

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At the bar last night we got to talking about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Various points were raised including the argument that it should really be Leonardo who “does machines.” My main issue, however, is that Donatello seems like a much less-renowned artist than the other three.

I’ll be the first to admit that I shouldn’t be your go-to source for Renaissance art commentary. But in this sense I think I’m ideally qualified to speak to the issue at hand. I’m semi-cultured. My family took me to the Met a bunch when I was a kid. I’ve been to pretty much all of Western Europe’s super-obvious famous museums. And it’s just clear that Donatello doesn’t have the star power of the other three.

My suggestion as a replacement turtle would be Titian. He doesn’t quite have the blockbuster appeal of the other three, but no one does, and I think he comes closest. I also think he chronologically matches the other better. I suppose the counterargument would be that he’s Venetian and the others are Florentine, but it’s all Italy to the kids.

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