Florida Legislature Acts To Ban Bestiality and Excessively Baggy Pants

The Florida state legislature, apparently tired of dealing with thorny budget issues, has decided instead to tackle the big issues of bestiality and baggy pants:

Floridians are going to have to start pulling up their pants and stop having sex with animals soon. It’s up to Gov. Rick Scott to sign off on two bills passed in the Florida Senate and House Wednesday which target droopy drawers and bestiality. The bestiality bill (SB 344) bans sexual activity between humans and animals and has been championed for years by Sen. Nan Rich, from Sunrise. Rich took up the anti-bestiality fight after a number of cases involving sexual activity with animals in recent years, including a Panhandle man who was suspected of accidentally asphyxiating a family goat during a sex act and the abuse of a horse in the Keys. The bill would make such acts a first-degree misdemeanor. Also passed by the House and Senate Wednesday is the so-called “droopy drawers bill” (SB 228), will will force students to hike up their pants while at school.

It seems strange to ban human-animal sex on the grounds that it might lead to dead goats. Presumably the Florida Meat Goat Association is responsible for more goat deaths than the state’s bestiality community. Speaking of which, I think goat meat is underrated. Great in stews and other slow-cooked applications.