Dad, isn’t Jim Hansen that NASA mega-whiz you call “America’s pre-eminent climate scientist,” which is like geezerese for the smartest guy in the room? And what is brain dude thinking when he says “Game over for the Climate”?
“Game”? You call this a game? When losing it means “billions of people will be condemned to poverty and much of civilization will collapse”? K. Ceee, I know you’re super-busy but I need you to pay attention.
Which part of this sounds like a game to you? The billions? The people? The poverty? The civilization? The collapse? Daaad, back away from the smartphone. I mean it. Focus! You can’t just go “game over for the climate… New game!”… like there’s an app for what happens after you lose this one.
Dad, dude, Angry Birds is a game. Climate disruption is just dumping on your kids’ head. Are you laughing? Because if you’re laughing, I can find an assisted living facility in Siberia. Don’t push me.
Maybe it feels like a game, since you’ll probably kick the bucket before all this collapsing goes down. You’re kinda playing with other people’s money, huh? But when it’s your kids’ money, aren’t you at least supposed to act serious?
And even if it were a game, y’oldsters have a lot of nerve calling it “over.” Dad, you’ve been lacing up your shoes and picking your noses for decades. Did I miss the part where you actually got in there and started playing? ’Cause sitting here thinking about the horror show of a future you’re cookin up, I’m seeing zero game.
What I do hear is a lot of yap: “It’s not happening.” “It’s happening but we’re not causing it.” “We’re causing it but soon it will be China’s fault.” “It’s too big, too complicated.” “Somebody’s gonna screw the future so we might as well get the jobs.” All kind o’ of bob and weave and shuck and jive. But “game”? You got some game Pops?. Well bring it then! Cuz “game over” just sounds like the beginning of your next lame excuse for failing to deal.
OK, yeah, I get it. Jim Hansen is warning about “game over” for the right reason — to kick your sagging kiesters into gear before it’s too late. ‘Preciate that.
But listen, Pop, you don’t have a cane to lean on when you start croaking “game over.” It’s no game, and it is never over. Whatever you do now to improve the situation is crap I don’t have to shovel later. So quit crying in your beer and DO STUFF.
Get in the game Dadddyyy, ’cause when it’s “over” for you, it’s on for me.
KC Golden is the Policy Director at Climate Solutions. This piece was originally published at the Getting a Grip on Climate Solutions blog and was re-printed with permission.