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Drinking game for Bush’s Yogi Berra climate speech

As noted the last time I wrote about a big Bush speech, “Bush climate speech follows Luntz playbook: “Technology, technology, blah, blah, blah

Bush has given us a new drinking game: Down a shot whenever the President uses the word “technology” in a climate speech. You’d get 19 shots for today’s 21 minute speech!

And I’d throw in another shot for every time Bush says the word “goal” or “bureaucrats” with a bonus shot for the famously redundant “unelected bureaucrats.” If Bush proposes a plan with hard targets for the entire economy, all drinking stops (and, of course, Hell freezes over). Since most of the speech will be no doubt be same old, same old, same old, it may be a tough day for everyone’s liver.

THE YOGI BERRA CLIMATE SPEECH?

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Now according to Revkin’s blog:

The rumors Tuesday were that the speech would include a plan to eventually slow, stop and reverse emissions of carbon dioxide from power plants.

Hmm. Didn’t Bush run in 2000 on a plan to limit emissions from power plants, only to renege on the campaign promise two months into his term “under strong pressure from oil, coal, and car companies”? Let’s see, I wonder which quote from Yogi Berra will best describe this new speech:

  • “This is like deja vu all over again.”
  • “You got to be very careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.”
  • “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”
  • “Slump? I ain’t in no slump… I just ain’t hitting.”
  • “I made a wrong mistake.”
  • “I wish I had an answer to that, because I’m tired of answering that question.”

THE EMPEROR NERO CLIMATE SPEECH

Perhaps the headline that best (unintentionally) foreshadows Bush’s speech comes from Revkin’s blog Tuesday: “President Appears to Seek a Warming Legacy.” Warming will no doubt be Bush’s primary historical legacy, as I’ve noted many times (see here). And remember the top global warming story of 2007 (here):

Thanks to the misleadership of our President, the world took no action at Bali to reduce emissions, we had a sham international “climate summit,” the country continues to take no national action on greenhouse gas emissions, Congress was forced to drop almost all non-oil-related provisions to cut GHGs from the energy bill, the EPA blocked California and other major states from regulating tailpipe GHGs on their own, the Administration keeps muzzling climate scientists, and it keeps misallocating scarce clean tech dollars to hydrogen fuel cell vehicle research at the expense of real and timely solutions like energy efficiency and renewables — and that’s just the stuff we know about for sure!

Thanks to Cheney Bush and his henchmen (and henchwomen), the nation and the world have lost another crucial year — and are almost certain to lose another one next year — when, in fact, “What we do in the next two to three years will determine our future.” Our person of the year, who mistakes inflexibility for leadership, and consistency for wisdom, has also made the story of the year: President George W. Bush doesn’t just fiddle while the planet burns, he actively fans the flames and thwarts the fire-fighters.

This is the story of his Presidency and, no doubt, of this speech.