Global Warming

It’s, like, really warm out today and has been consistently this week. Which, on the whole, is a good thing. One can’t help but wonder, however, when crazy things happen like flowers blossoming on trees. In January. Presumably, this is bad for the trees. I mean, it has to be, right? Plus, it’s actually a little unnerving — unnatural — and it makes me fear what will happen in August. 130 degrees? Will giant half-melted bits of the polar ice cap come sliding down from Canada and crush my house?

I have concerns.