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If you have nothing better to do, here’s Examiner.com’s First Annual Push Poll on Global Warming.

Okay, the Examiner.com calls it their “First Annual Survey on Global Warming.” But I think you’ll agree with our friendly neighborhood Rabett that it’s more like a “push poll.”

What has gotten Eli hopping mad? This remarkable “you-are-a-pigeon question”:

Which, if any, of the following statements comes closest to capturing your attitudes and opinions about global warming?

(We’ll give you a chance to amplify in your own words later — but I need to pigeonhole — umm, stereotype — umm, put you in a ‘box’ if at all possible. If necessary, just pick the least objectionable statement, or indicate that you prefer not to say.)

O I believe global warming is the crisis of this generation, and should be the highest priority for policy makers right now.

O I think global warming is undoubtedly real and a serious problem, but I think it has been ‘overplayed’ by the press, politicians and some organisations.

O It looks to me like global warming probably has a grain of truth in it, but it’s almost certainly not as bad as it has been made out to be.

O I believe global warming is true, but not man-made.

O I don’t believe global warming is true. I think natural forces account for the changes in climate and there’s no need to look at human contributions — which in any event have not been proven.

O This issue is not even at the top of my radar screen. I don’t pay much attention to global warming or climate change, it doesn’t influence how I live, how I spend my money, who I vote for — I don’t really pay too much attention to this.

O I prefer not to say.

I’m filing this post under humor only because I never bothered starting a category for “unintentional humor.”

Eli notes “the airspace between the first and the second choice and the fine gradations between the rest,” which is to say that all of the later choices are designed to 1) get lots of votes that totally outnumber the votes for the first choice and 2) make the first choice seem extreme, even though it is certainly the closest to representing the current state of our scientific understanding, albeit not with language I would use (see “Intro to global warming impacts: Hell and High Water” and UK Met Office: Catastrophic climate change, 13–18°F over most of U.S. and 27°F in the Arctic, could happen in 50 years, but “we do have time to stop it if we cut greenhouse gas emissions soon”).

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Examiner.com has inspired me to offer my own “First Annual Survey on the Examiner’s First Annual Push Poll on Global Warming.” Which, if any, of the following statements comes closest to capturing your attitudes and opinions about the Examiner’s First Annual Push Poll on Global Warming?

  • I believe the Examiner.com’s First Annual Push Poll is the single most laughable example in recent memory of how deniers and delayers try to use every form of media to misinform and mislead the public on global warming, which is the gravest preventable threaten to the health and well-being of future generations, and should be the highest priority for policy makers right now.
  • I believe the Examiner’s First Annual Push Poll is the second most laughable example in recent memory of how deniers and delayers try to use every form ofmedia to misinform and mislead the public on global warming, which should be the highest priority for policy makers right now.
  • I believe the Examiner’s First Annual Push Poll is undoubtedly a real and a serious problem, but I think it has been ‘overplayed’ by Eli Rabbet, and is more of an irrelevant waste of time than an outright push poll aimed at misinforming and misleading the public on global warming, which should be the highest priority for policy makers right now.
  • I believe the Examiner’s First Annual Push Poll is not at all serious, but an obvious spoof of a real poll on global warming, which should be the highest priority for policy makers right now.
  • I don’t believe the Examiner’s First Annual Push Poll is true. You made it up. What do you take us for — anti-scientific deniers and delayers who don’t know the first thing about global warming, which should be the highest priority for policy makers right now?
  • The Examiner’s First Annual Push Poll is not even at the top of my radar screen, assuming that I even had a radar screen, which I don’t. I’m too busy trying to stop catastrophic global warming, which should be the highest priority for policy makers right now.
  • I prefer not to say just how lame is the Examiner’s First Annual Push Poll global warming, which should be the highest priority for policy makers right now.

If you would like to amplify on your opinions regarding global warming and climate change, please do so in the Comments section.