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Signs of the Apocalypse, Part 10: “Drill Here, Drill Now” by Aaron Tippin

The first (and hopefully last) song ever inspired by Newt Gingrich — and the only song I am aware of that actually disses alternative energy — certainly makes the list, even if it hadn’t debuted on the Sean Hannity show:

http://www.youtube.com/v/FsvwBPNvo3A&hl=en&fs=1

Drill here, drill nowHow ‘bout some oil from our own soil that belongs to us anyhowNo more debatin’ we’re tired of waitin’ everybody shout out loudDrill here, drill now

A classic case of poetic license undercutting the message. The debate concerned coastal drilling, not “oil from our own soil.” I for one am still waiting to hear from Warner EMI about whether they will pick up my newly recorded single, “Cruel Hoax.”

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This certainly wins Aaron Tippin the prize for one of the most poorly timed songs in history, as the Democrats rolled over on the issue within days, and now people are talking about $50 oil (see “Q: Will we see $3 gasoline before $5?”). That’s life in Realityville. The full lyrics have also been nominated for the most unintentionally funny country song of the year:

Hello…..Is anybody out there listenin’ in Washington D.C.This is the suffering voice of America crying out for reliefNow I don’t know what a gallon of gas costs up on Capitol HillBut we sure know what it costs down here in RealityvilleAnd the damage already done has been a mighty heavy tollAnd if we’re gonna fix it we gotta start right here at home

CHORUS:Drill here, drill nowHow ‘bout some oil from our own soil that belongs to us anyhowNo more debatin’ we’re tired of waitin’ everybody shout out loudDrill here, drill now

Every time a foreign tanker pulls up to our shoreThey got us over a barrel while they bleed us a little moreAnd think how much it costs just to bring it all that wayAnd how many American jobs that’d make if we were drillin’ in the USAOh and God forbid if our oily friends should decide to cut us offWe’d be standin’ around with our britches down now listen to me ya’ll

REPEAT CHORUS

Well the winds of change are blowin’Yes and we recognize that needBut tractors, trucks, cars and planes can’t run on tomorrow’s dreamsSo while we’re workin’ on the future we can’t ignore todayCuz who knows how much time the alternative might takeSomethin’s gotta be done right now cuz friends it won’t be longBefore this great big country comes grinding to a halt

REPEAT CHORUS

Hmm. I wonder what BioWillie Nelson would say about that last verse? Gristmill debunks many of the GOP talking lyrics.

I also wonder if Tippin appreciates the irony of his unintentionally prescient final words: “it won’t be long Before this great big country comes grinding to a halt.” Maybe his next song can be about how George Bush and the Republican Party destroyed the global economy.

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Note: Although this is Part 10, this is the first post actually labeled a “sign of the apocalypse.” This occasional series is dedicated to all those who have been Left Behind by the reality of human-caused global warming. As Wikipedia explains,

Apocalypse (Greek: “lifting of the veil”) is a term applied to the disclosure to certain privileged persons of something hidden from the majority of humankind. Today the term is often used to refer to the end of the world, which may be a shortening of the phrase apokalupsis eschaton which literally means “revelation at the end of the ¦on, or age”.

I welcome suggestions from readers on either signs. And, yes, gallows humor is always appreciated here, as evidenced by the fact that this post — More conclusive proof of global warming — was so popular.

Other signs of the Apocalypse: