Solar power is for boobs

[Warning to Parents — This titillating post is rated PG-13, though it does come via the WSJ blog.]

Because I try to keep Climate Progress readers abreast of technology and fashion news, here is the latest from the gadget-crazed Japanese:

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Triumph International Ltd., famous underwear maker, unveiled its environmentally friendly “Solar Power Bra” Wednesday in Tokyo. The bra, designed to raise awareness of global warming and the need to conserve energy, features a solar panel worn around the stomach. The solar panel is able to produce electricity from sunlight and room lighting that can generate enough power to charge a cell phone or an iPod.

Okay, now here is the dumb part [no seriously, this is the dumb part]. Reuters reports

The panel requires light to generate electricity and the concept bra will not be in stores anytime soon, said Triumph spokeswoman Yoshiko Masuda, as “people usually can not go outside without wearing clothes over it.”

I hear you cry ‘udder nonsense’! But surely Madonna at least will find some use for it. The bra does have another obvious flaw:

Triumph spokeswoman Yoshiko Masuda [added] the bra should not be washed or sunned on a rainy day to avoid damaging it.

Good thinking! I’m so glad they told people not to “sun” a solar-charging bra when it rains. Why didn’t they also warned women not to wear it during wet T-shirt contests? I smell a lawsuit … except

The concept bra will not be in stores anytime soon.

So that means if you want solar-powered headlights, you’re probably going to have to wait for a plug-in hybrid electric vehicle. But before you think this is just a one-shot attention-getting gimmick, you should know:

The solar energy bra is just the latest installment in the company’s line of sustainable undies [which] include one with a reusable shopping bag folded conveniently inside [didn’t they used to call that a padded bra?] and a “my chopsticks” bra that holds a handy set of reusable, collapsible chopsticks that can be tucked in either side [I’m not prepared to sacrifice my PG-13 rating to make a snarky remark about this bra].

Anyway, like Bob Hope, I always end my riff with the same song: “Thanks for the mammaries!”