The Onion: RNC Builds Levee Out Of Poor People To Protect Convention Site

Excerpted from America’s Finest News Service:

TAMPA, FL — With Tropical Storm Isaac’s torrential rains battering the Gulf Coast of Florida, Republican National Convention organizers raced to build a protective levee out of local poor people Monday in order to prevent the Tampa Bay Times Forum from flooding….

In a further attempt to assuage concerns about safety, [RNC Chair] Priebus confirmed that crews had already secured the convention site against high winds and debris by nailing hundreds of illegal immigrants over the arena’s windows.

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