Tiger Woods Wins “Hottest Major of All Time”

At least that’s what the CBS commentators called this year’s PGA Championship at sweltering Southern Hills in Tulsa.

Don’t worry, Denyers — it’s just a coincidence it was so hot, and I know that CBS is even a less trustworthy record-keeper than NASA, so I’m sure someone will uncover a statistical error that proves a 1934 major was hotter.

But it’s no coincidence the world’s most fit golfer won. He is an all-climate player as I noted when he won “the brown British Open” at drought-stricken Royal Liverpool last year. No doubt he’ll some day win the “wettest major of all time,” too.

If my prediction that he’s going to break Jack Nicklaus’s record of 18 majors by 2010 is to come true, though, he’ll need to average two per year for the next three years. An impossible task for anyone — anyone but Tiger Woods, that is.